


There's a Daisy

by Mikauzoran



Series: Springtime in Wonderland [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is not in a good place mentally sometimes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gabriel Knows, Gabriel Steps Up His Game, Hormonal Teenagers, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Marichat, Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Adrien Agreste - Freeform, Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Chat Noir - Freeform, Moving On, Mutual Pining, Nino - Patron Saint of Bros, Sexual Tension, Slightly Aged-Up (17-19), Slow Burn, adrienette - Freeform, bildungsroman, relationship repair, reverse crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 06:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 129,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikauzoran/pseuds/Mikauzoran
Summary: When Adrien realizes he needs to move on from Ladybug, Marinette suggests he try casually dating other women until he’s emotionally ready to be in a serious relationship with someone. This advice proves disastrous for everyone involved, especially when Adrien realizes that the person he wants to be in a serious relationship with is Marinette.





	1. Slave

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm Mikau. It's nice to meet you! Alternatively, it's so good to see you again! Either way, thank you for joining me.
> 
> So...I had about an hour before bed the other day, and I didn't feel like working on Happenstance, so...this is another story that I'm doing using a random word generator to get a prompt for each chapter. Like in Violets, these are supposed to be interconnected drabbles. If you've read my work before, you know that I don't do "drabbles". Like Violets, I have no plan, so this is going to be a fly by the seat of my pants sort of thing. Unlike Violets, these seem to be written in chronological order; I'll let you know if that changes.
> 
> The title comes from the same line of Ophelia's flower speech in Hamlet as "I would give you some violets...". Daisies represent innocence. One could argue that Ophelia's daisy represents a loss of innocence. I had originally wanted to work both daises and violets into Violets's title, but I couldn't finagle it. Now Daisy has become its own thing. I hope you enjoy it!

The movie Les Parapluies de Cherbourg always made Marinette melancholy. It was a beautiful, moving story, a bittersweet tale of lost love and missed opportunities. It made her want to turn to the boy on the couch beside her and finally confess how she felt before any more time could slip away from them. She had already spent four years of her life loving Adrien Agreste fruitlessly. How much longer could she go on?

“I can’t do this anymore,” Adrien breathed in surprise as the realization struck him.

Marinette gave a start and nearly ended up on the floor. “Wh-What?”

He reached out and paused the movie before turning to Marinette and grabbing one of her hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” he repeated, desperation and fear in his eyes. “What have I been doing all these years?”

“Adrien, start at the beginning,” Marinette coaxed, managing to keep the panic out of her voice by some small miracle. “ _What_ can’t you do anymore?”

“I can’t keep loving someone who will never return my feelings,” Adrien clarified. “I can’t keep wasting my life like this on slavish devotion to a woman who keeps telling me it’s never going to happen.”

“…Yes, that’s generally a bad idea,” Marinette mumbled. “You’re just now realizing this?”

He nodded glumly, dropping his gaze. “I may be a little slow.”

“Hey,” She reached out with her free hand and cupped his cheek, tilting his head so that his eyes met hers. “that’s okay. Don’t worry about it…. I didn’t know you were in love with someone.”

He shrugged.

“I mean…I suspected that there might be someone you were interested in, since you always turned the girls who asked down, but…” A part of her had secretly hoped that his answer would be different if _Marinette_ were the one doing the asking, that he was waiting for _her_.

He shrugged again.

“How long has this been going on?” she inquired, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“Coming up on four years,” he whispered, mortified to admit it. “Am I pathetic? That kind of sounds pathetic.”

Marinette gave Adrien’s cheek a reassuring pat. “You’re not pathetic. You’re loyal…maybe a little naïve in your optimism and perseverance, but…it’s admirable, Adrien…but I think it’s a good idea to move on if you’ve really spent four years on the same girl who keeps telling you no.”

He nodded. “Thanks for helping me process this. You’re always so kind and patient.” A curious look came into his eyes. “Marinette?”

“Yeah?” She squirmed under his intense gaze.

“We’re friends, right?” he sought to confirm.

She had to hold in a wince. “Y-Yeah.” She worried that the grin she had hastily pasted on was too obviously fake. “Yeah. We’re… _friends_. Of course we’re _friends_.”

The word was like ash in her mouth, and she pushed it out with some difficulty.

Adrien didn’t seem to notice. “Then…can I ask your advice?”

“ _Always_ ,” she stressed. Regardless of her personal feelings… “I will _always_ be there for you, Adrien.”

“How do you go about falling out of love with someone?” He pursed his lips and waited expectantly for her response.

“That’s…oddly ironic,” she sighed, breaking eye contact.

“Ironic how?” he asked, completely clueless.

She steamrolled right over the question. “I don’t know, Adrien. If you were really that serious about this girl, it’s probably not a good idea to jump right into a different relationship. Maybe you should date around for a while. Not _seriously_. Just casually, and make sure the girls know it’s just casual. Then, maybe when you feel like you’re ready, you can see if you can find someone to be serious about.”

In her mind, she added, _“Like me.”_

“Okay,” he breathed, beginning to nod slowly. “Okay. That sounds reasonable.”

Adrien leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Marinette’s forehead. “Thank you, Marinette. You’re the best.”

A wistful smile slowly bloomed on her lips. “Anytime,” she mumbled.

“Sorry for the mini freak out,” Adrien chuckled weakly as he pulled away, resituating himself on the couch beside her. “The movie just made me realize…I don’t want to be miserable anymore. I don’t want to miss out on any more of my life and end up with regrets because of her…. She wouldn’t want that for me either. But sorry for being such a spazz out of nowhere like that.”

Marinette gave Adrien a playful nudge. “Do you really think _I_ , of all people, have any room to judge you?”

He pretended to think about it but couldn’t keep a straight face. “It’s cuter on you,” he chuckled, leaning over to place his head on her shoulder. He was still laughing as he teased, “I think I like you  _because_  you’re such a spazz all the time.”

“Be nice,” she pouted, internally screaming at the weight of his head on her shoulder, the warmth of his cheek, the vibrations of his laugh, the tickle of his hair against her neck.

“Thanks for being you, Marinette,” he whispered in all seriousness, causing her heart to soar. “I don’t deserve you, but am I so, so grateful to have you as a friend.”

Her heart fell out of the sky like Icarus, drowning in despair in the Friend-Zone Sea.

“Anytime, Adrien,” she repeated without feeling, resting her head against his and letting herself pretend that it was more than what it was.


	2. Tramp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette regrets her advice.  
> Adrien doesn't know how to set boundaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to Day Two. I was really blown away by all the kudos this got. Thank you! Thank you as well to everyone who commented and everyone who bookmarked this. I'm so pleased that there's such enthusiasm for this story so far.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this installment as well.

“I never should have suggested this. What was I thinking?” Marinette hissed as she watched Adrien kiss his newest in a string of girlfriends goodbye before heading over to where Marinette, Nino, and Alya sat outside of a café.

“He’s such a slut,” Alya grumbled, swirling the water in her glass around and around.

“He’s not a slut,” Nino sighed, prying the knife Marinette hadn’t realized she was death-gripping from Marinette’s hand.

“By which you mean he’s not sleeping with any of them,” Alya snorted. “Babe, I hate to break this to you, but your best friend is a slut. He’s totally letting that girl snog him senseless out in the middle of the sidewalk. After two dates.”

“Al, he’s used to giving other people whatever they want. He’s a people-pleaser,” Nino explained. “He doesn’t understand about setting boundaries.” Nino turned to Marinette. “Cupcakes, don’t shred your napkin like that.”

Alya snorted again. “He’s  _enjoying_  the kiss.”

“He’s spent his entire life not getting hugged by his parents,” Nino countered. “All you have to do is give him a pat on the head—literally or figuratively—and he melts. He’s suffered emotional neglect for going on eighteen years. He’d kiss pretty much anyone just to feel affection and human warmth. He’s desperate. Let him enjoy the kiss.”

Alya was opening her mouth to reply when the kiss ended, Adrien said something to the girl with a sheepish expression on his face, and the girl slapped him in response before stalking off.

“Oh,” Alya hummed with interest.

“Ouch,” Marinette hissed, eyes going wide.

Nino stood to meet Adrien as he approached, rubbing his cheek. “Mec, you okay?”

“That could have gone better,” Adrien sighed, slumping down into the chair next to Marinette.

“What happened, Casanova?” Alya snickered.

Adrien shook his head, still rubbing his face. It was beginning to turn red. “I told her that, even though we had chemistry, I didn’t think it was working—I mean, we spent two whole dates pretty much just making out. If that’s all she’s interested in, I don’t think we’re compatible. Even though I don’t want anything serious right now, I’m looking for more than physical intimacy in a long-term relationship—so I told her we should probably see other people. And then she slapped me.”

“Your timing sucks, Dude,” Nino sighed, shaking his head.

“Maybe you should have told her  _before_  kissing her like that,” Alya advised, not bothering to conceal how obviously pleased she was with the outcome.

“I tried,” Adrien whined, giving his friends the kicked-puppy pout. “She didn’t exactly give me the opportunity.”

“Here.” Marinette pulled Adrien’s hand from his cheek and pressed her glass of ice water to it instead. “Are you okay, Adrien?”

His demeanor immediately brightened as he turned an affectionate smile on her. “I will be if you keep fussing over me like that. I swear, I need to find some way to bottle you and keep you with me always.”

“It would be easier just to marry her,” Alya chortled, causing Adrien to turn to glare at her and, therefore, miss the way Marinette’s face flushed a deep crimson at the comment.

“Down, Al,” Nino lightly chided, resting a hand on his girlfriend’s forearm.

“Don’t tease me,” Adrien grumbled, sounding oddly serious.

“Sorry, Sunshine,” Alya relented with a fond grin, reaching across the table to ruffle his hair. “You’re just so easy.”

With a sigh, Adrien looked back to Marinette. “So. While I think your idea for me to date around was solid in theory, I’m finding that it doesn’t always work in the real world. Women seem to have trouble with the concept of casual dating without the intention of taking things further than kissing.”

“I see,” Marinette replied, tight-lipped, hoping he couldn’t tell how hard she was clenching her teeth.

“I think this is helping, though,” he offered so as not to give her the impression that he was ungrateful for her advice. “This was a good idea in general.”

“Why don’t you try dating Marinette next?” Alya suggested helpfully.

Adrien turned slowly to give Alya a look that encapsulated horror, disbelief, disappointment, and disgust. “That is the dumbest idea you have ever had.”

Marinette almost dropped the glass of water. It took everything she had not to run away crying. 

There it was: Four years wasted. No hope. The idea of dating her was repulsive to him. Offensive. Dumb. He hadn’t even considered it for one fleeting instant.

Alya went pale as she realized what she had done.

Nino sighed and surreptitiously tapped Marinette’s foot with his own under the table in lieu of any other show of support he could offer that would give her secret away.

“Marinette isn’t the kind of girl that you can just casually date to get over a broken heart,” Adrien snapped, unconscious of the emotional shift in his friends. “If anyone ever tried it, I’d rearrange their face for them. God. What is wrong with you, Alya? Marinette is the kind of girl you have to be serious about. I would never just fool around with her. What? Do you think I have no respect for her or something?”

Alya’s eyes widened, and the color came back into her face as she realized that the reason Adrien was upset wasn’t the idea of dating Marinette but the idea of not taking dating Marinette seriously.

“Oh, Sunshine,” she chuckled, breaking through the heavy atmosphere that had settled upon them. “Calm down. I was just teasing you.”

Adrien blinked, a slight blush starting at the tips of his ears and slowly draining into the rest of his face. “O-Oh.”

“I mean, because you’re obviously sweet on her,” Alya tittered.

Marinette’s grip on her water glass tightened. She felt like she was emotionally bungee jumping. She was on the way up once more, but she wondered how long it would take her to hit the bottom again.

Adrien’s shoulders rose to his ears as his blush intensified. “I just really admire and respect her,” he mumbled in his own defence.

“Uh-huh.” Alya nodded theatrically slow.

“Al, I think you should stop. You’re just embarrassing the both of them,” Nino urged gently.

Adrien tentatively turned to Marinette. “Is it weird that I’m that protective of you? Sorry. I—”

“—It’s okay,” Marinette interjected before he could take it all back. She lowered her glass from his cheek, setting it down on the table. “Your friends are really important to you.” She said the dreaded f word herself before he could get around to it. “I get that, and I’m glad I’m important to you. I’m glad you respect me too much to even consider dating me.”

“He didn’t say that,” Alya quickly intervened. “He implied that he respected you too much to fool around with you, meaning he could only date you seriously. Isn’t that right, Agreste?”

“No comment,” Adrien groaned into his own glass of water, purposefully avoiding all eye contact. “I just would never casually date a friend. That’s all.”

Nino cleared his throat. “Right. Okay. Well, let’s celebrate our good friend Adrien’s newly-single status. I propose a toast: Good riddance to that girl.”

“Hear, hear,” Alya added enthusiastically, raising her glass.

Adrien chuckled and joined in.

Marinette pushed all of her whirling thoughts aside, forcing herself to be fully present with her friends in the moment.


	3. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lines are crossed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! Have I mentioned how wonderful you guys are? Thank you so much for all the love and support. I really hope I don't disappoint. ^.^; (Mikau is terribly insecure.) Thank you for joining me again today.

“Thank you for letting me come so late,” Adrien sighed, slumping over the balcony railing.

“It’s not a problem,” Marinette assured, going back to where she had left her sketchbook open on the little wooden table.

“I just couldn’t go home with my head in a mess like this,” he muttered, gazing down at the street and the Seine below.

Marinette hesitated before deciding to ask, “…Do you want to talk about it? You were a little vague on the phone. I’m happy to listen, if you think it will help.”

He was quiet for a long while. Abruptly, he straightened and turned to face her, leaning back with one foot propped up against the railing. “So…my girlfriend and I had a fight. She broke up with me.”

“Oh,” Marinette replied softly, the syllable coated with pity and remorse that she only felt because  _he_  looked sad about it. “I’m sorry…. Which girlfriend was this one? Marianne?”

Adrien smacked himself in the face. “Marianne,” he hissed. “That was it. Her name was Marianne.”

Marinette arched a concerned eyebrow. “Adrien? Everything okay?”

He looked at her pitifully. “That was the fight. I called her the wrong name.”

She didn’t need to know that he had called her “Marinette”.

Marinette’s eyes widened. She winced. “Oh. Yeah. That’s…not a good thing.”

“She thought I was cheating on her, so I explained that I’d had five other girlfriends in the past two weeks and that they were all starting to blend together.” Adrien grimaced as he heard the words come out of his mouth a second time. “She only got more upset upon learning that fact, and I think I’m starting to understand why. …Shoot. I am primordial slime.”

Marinette pursed her lips. “I know it wasn’t on purpose, but…I would be really upset if some guy did that to me.”

Adrien snorted. “I would need a lawyer to get me off on assault charges if some guy did that to you.” His expression sobered. “So why do I think it’s okay for  _me_  to act like this?”

“You don’t mean any harm,” Marinette tried to comfort him.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not causing any,” Adrien sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I mean, I did tell her up front that I wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, but…tonight is a new personal low for me.”

“Maybe you should stop,” Marinette proposed. “You know, I didn’t exactly mean for you to change girlfriends like you do your socks when I suggested you date around.”

Adrien winced. “I am spreading myself a little thin, aren’t I?”

Marinette frowned sympathetically but did not verbally reply.

Adrien pursed his lips. “…Marinette, am I trashy?”

She looked back down at her notebook and shrugged, doing her best to be a good friend and hide her own personal feelings.  _“Make it about him, not yourself.”_

“How many girls have you kissed in the past month?” She attempted to say it in an unconcerned, nonchalant manner.

He looked at her in terror, as if she had just pulled a hatchet on him. He gulped, bright red lighting up his cheeks. “That’s…not something I want you to know.”

“My next question was going to be, ‘How does that number make you feel?’, but it sounds like you already have your answer, Adrien,” she replied softly, nonjudgmentally down at her sketchbook.

“Maybe I need to slow down a bit,” Adrien concluded. “Maybe I’ll stay single for the rest of this week…and use that time to come up with a nickname I can call all of them to avoid further name confusion in the future.”

Marinette finally looked up to glare at him. “Seriously? You’re going to stop treating them like individuals and just call them all the same thing?”

“I only said one of those things,” Adrien corrected.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, “The one is the same as the other.”

“Is not,” he snorted back. “Do you have any better suggestions for keeping them straight?”

“Stay with the same woman for more than a few days,” she remarked dryly.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “I would have if any of the relationships had shown promise.”

“Fine. Write their names on your hand or something,” she retorted in exasperation. “Or maybe date someone who wants to do more than just suck off your face, get in your pants, and get their hands on your wallet.”

“…Ouch,” Adrien responded flatly.

“You know, when I told you to date other people, I expected you to find some nice girl to date for a month or two who I wouldn’t really care for but wouldn’t be able to find justification to hate. I didn’t expect this revolving door of fickle, vapid women and poor life choices. Your taste in women is abysmal, Adrien Agreste,” she snapped, gripping her pencil tightly in her fist.

He laughed caustically. “Marinette, I haven’t been interested in any of those girls in the slightest.”

“Then why did you date them?!” Marinette shouted, her voice cracking as she finally lost her temper.

“Because they weren’t repulsive!” He matched her volume and pitch. “There’s only one girl I’m interested in, but you told me to date other girls, and I did because I want to get over  _her_  more than anything! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to pine after someone with everything you are? Do you have any conception of the agony of being by someone’s side without any hope of them ever turning to look at you the way you look at them? I am  _insanely_  in love with her. Literally, I probably need to talk to someone about this because my level of obsession is scary unhealthy, Marinette. I would die for her. Literally take an akuma attack that would wipe me out of existence. I am desperate to get out of the gaping chasm I’ve fallen into, and if I have to date a thousand other girls to stop feeling this way, I will do it.”

They stared at one another for a full minute, both of their chests heaving, their eyes wide in horror.

Adrien let out a sibilant curse as he sank onto the crate across the table from Marinette. He buried his face in his hands and cursed again. “Can we please pretend I never said any of that? Is there any way to go back and unsay that? Because you are pretty much the last person on the face of this earth that I ever wanted to find out that I was crazy.”

Marinette got up and went to him, prying his hands from his face and forcing him to look at her. “Hey,” she cooed, cupping his cheek. “You’re okay. You’re not crazy, Adrien.” She gently stroked his cheekbone with her thumb, and he leaned into her touch.

“I  _feel_  like I’m crazy sometimes,” he muttered, taking slow and measured inhales of her faint scent as his eyes went half-lidded.

“Shh. You’re not. I’ve got you, Beau Gosse,” she whispered. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. Hang in there. One day there’s going to be a girl who loves you like you deserve, and she won’t hurt you like this….”

He looked up into her deep blue eyes, and, mentally, a wire was tripped. He’d always thought that Marinette was objectively attractive, but, sitting there on her balcony in the moonlight with her hand on his cheek, their faces no more than two hand-spans apart…Marinette was no less radiant than the goddess rosy-fingered Dawn.

Perhaps it was because over the past month and a half he’d been making out often with many different women, but Adrien suddenly had the strong urge to kiss Marinette.

She pulled back, though, before he could follow through, straightening up and retracting her hand from his cheek.

His chest tightened, and he leaned forward, following her retreat like a magnet.

Marinette chuckled quietly, humoring him by reaching out once more to scratch gently behind his ear.

His eyes fluttered closed.

“You’re like a giant cat,” she teased. “Chat Noir likes around the same spot right…here.”

Her fingers found it, and it was everything Adrien could do to keep from purring. Instead his throat produced a half-strangled choke midway between pleasure and horror.

Marinette’s fingers stilled. “You okay?”

He nodded, taking a moment to compose himself. “Y-Yeah. Sorry. Just…I’m feeling really messed up right now, and…” His gaze drifted down to the floor, his own feet, and her house scuffs. “…as you’ve probably noticed from the way I hang off of people and always get in others’ personal space, I’m a really tactile person. I  _need_  to be touched, but…I don’t always get that at home, so when someone does show me physical affection…it’s like an overload, and…that’s why it’s so easy to date all those girls I don’t care about and let them hang on me and kiss me. Ever since I realized that I needed to give up on  _her_ , I’ve been feeling really…panicked…desperate…. I’ve kind of been throwing myself into these other relationships hoping that something will click and that I’ll wake up one day and suddenly have my heart back in my chest and be able to carry on like a normal person, but…I think I’m only spiraling even further down the drain because…”

He screwed his eyes closed and gulped. “I pretend that they’re  _her_. When they kiss me, I imagine that it’s  _her_  lips and  _her_  hands and…I know that’s pretty much the direct opposite of what you intended me to do, and I’m sorry. I…”

His voice caught, and he looked up at her with wet eyes. “…but…when you touch me, it’s  _you_. I can’t…imagine  _her_  touching me the way that you do because, unlike all those girls I’ve been dating, when you touch me, you don’t want anything from me. You’re not looking to get anything out of me. It’s just about me and what I need, and you have no idea how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate you, Marinette. I couldn’t get through this without you.”

He watched as her eyes widened and a flash of something intense flitted across her face. He couldn’t pin down exactly what it was, but it felt negative.

He was upsetting her with his candid words. He was oversharing.

“Sorry.” He looked away. “I know I’m a little much to take sometimes. I don’t usually do this in front of people. I’m kind of a wreck at the moment, and you feel safe. I feel  _safe_  with you. I know that’s a lot to drop on somebody, so I’m going to stop talking now, and if you want me to go, just say so because you don’t have to do this. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t…”

He physically clapped a hand over his own mouth to stop the torrent. “Sorry,” he mumbled from behind his fingers.

Suddenly her expression was warm and reassuring. “Shh,” she soothed, pressing a light kiss to his forehead before taking both of his hands in hers. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry for, Adrien. You can  _always_  come to me. I will always take care of you.”

Adrien’s throat went dry. His face grew hot. Something unnamable welled up in his chest, and all he wanted to do was hold her, bury his face in her neck and hair. He opened his mouth to try to describe what he was feeling, but, before he could find the words, she spoke.

“Come here.” She tugged lightly at his hands, and he got up to follow her over to the deck chair in the corner. “Sit on the edge,” she instructed, and he did so, regretting having to let go of her hands.

He didn’t have long to miss the contact, however, for, as soon as he was seated, she sat down behind him, straddling the chair so that he was between her legs. She wrapped her arms around him and gently eased him back so that he reclined against her, his head resting on her chest.

“Is this okay?” she whispered as she began to stroke his face, comb her fingers through his hair, and rub gently at his scalp, letting her fingernails scrape tantalizingly against his skin. Her lips gently peppered his neck, jaw, face, and ears with butterfly-light kisses.

It was divine torture.

“Please,” he whimpered brokenly, melting into her touch. His eyes slipped closed.

“You really are hurting, aren’t you?” she observed.

He moaned softly, biting his lip to muffle the noise.

His desperation was palpable.

She wanted to ask him if she were special. If anyone else made him feel safe. If there was anyone else he would let himself become this undone in front of.

Somehow, she didn’t think so, and that realization brought both elation and despair. He trusted her enough to dissolve into a puddle of fear and desire and need in her presence. He trusted that she would accept him as he was and still care about him afterwards.

On the other hand, he was able to do this because he didn’t feel the need to impress her. She was not a potential mate in front of whom he needed to remain strong and collected. He didn’t care about preserving his image with her. He didn’t need her to think of him as a provider or protector because it didn’t make a difference to him if she had romantic feelings for him or not.

She was a sanctuary, a trusted confidante. She was not a potential love interest.

Meanwhile, Adrien was struggling not to purr his head off. He was on the brink of giving up when Marinette spoke.

“Is this helping? I have another friend who gets upset sometimes, and head rubs really seem to help him calm down. Is this working for you?”

The best Adrien could do for a response was a sinful, throaty moan of appreciation.

…Which shook Marinette to the core. It was one thing to have Chat Noir purring happily with his head on her thigh. It was another entirely to have the man she was in love with writhing against her in ecstasy.

This had been a bad idea. This was going to keep her up nights: the image of Adrien a needy mess literally in her lap. Hair mussed. Pants visibly tight. Back arching. Head thrown back. Eyes mostly closed in bliss, but, when they did open, pupils blown to the size of macarons.

Marinette wondered what he would say if she tugged him down through the skylight into her bed. Would he protest? He didn’t have a problem making out with women he didn’t have feelings for. Would he draw the line at sleeping with Marinette? Would the threat sex could pose to their friendship be enough to stop him? Was Adrien really in any state to consent? Would he regret it later? Could Marinette really take advantage of him like that?

One look at his face, the tears leaking down his cheeks from all the confusion and pent-up emotion, answered her questions.

“Shh,” she coaxed. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be fine, Adrien. I’ve got you.”

More than anything, Marinette had grown to love Adrien as a person more than she loved him as a man, and she wanted their friendship to survive her romantic feelings for him. As much as she hated the f word, she really and truly did want to be Adrien’s friend, so she was going to put his needs before her own lust.

“I’ve got you,” Marinette promised. “Always.”

A quarter of an hour later found Adrien feeling boneless and spent but definitely calmer.

He wondered briefly, if Marinette’s fingers touching him only above the neck could cause fireworks like  _that_ , what could the rest of her do with the rest of his body?

He stomped on that thought as soon as it came into existence, grinding it to dust with the sole of his mental shoe. It was one thing to get an innocent head rub from Marinette as Chat Noir every once in a while on a bad day. What had just happened was something else. Adrien had crossed a line.

“Better?” Marinette whispered, noting how his breathing had evened out and the tears had stopped.

Adrien had to clear his throat before he could find his voice to confirm, “Better.”

He hastened to add, “Thank-you-I’m-sorry,” in one breath.

Her thumb rubbed away a half-dried tear track. “Adrien…just… It’s okay. You can lean on me when you need to. Maybe tonight was a little intense, but…I  _want_  to be there for you. You’re obviously going through something major right now, and I don’t want you falling to pieces on your own because you’re ashamed or embarrassed or think that you’re inconveniencing me. You’re one of my best friends, and I want to help you in any way I can. Maybe I’ll need you to return the favor someday.”

He wanted to say something. He felt like another apology was in order because this went above and beyond the realm of one friend helping another through a series of panic attacks and a quarter-life crisis in general.

He’d gotten off on her relatively innocent ministrations, and she  _knew_  it.

He blamed the unresolved tension between himself and his now ex-girlfriend from earlier that night. He blamed the fact that all these girls he was dating and making out with had him on a constant hormonal rollercoaster. He blamed Ladybug and her jet-black pigtails and cyanide blue eyes so much like Marinette’s. He blamed himself for being out of control.

“Sorry,” Adrien repeated. “I didn’t mean to…” He couldn’t even put the thought into words. There were a lot of things he hadn’t meant to do. “Sorry,” he whispered, face going cinnamon red. “I’m sorry.”

“Adrien, stop.  _I’m_  sorry,” Marinette sighed. “I’m sorry for making you do something you didn’t want to do. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for not stopping. I’m sorry for not asking if I should stop. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had something you should be sorry for.  _I’m_  sorry,” she emphasized, hoping he’d see how this was her fault and stop blaming himself.

Adrien reached up to cover his face in utter mortification. “Marinette, I’m uncomfortable because I’m afraid I made you uncomfortable and ruined our friendship. I at no time  _wanted_  you to stop. I’m sorry, but this was totally consensual on my part…. I am such a cad. I am so sorry.”

“Oh,” Marinette mumbled, feeling slightly dizzy. She swallowed hard and admitted, “I’m not uncomfortable…and I don’t think our friendship is ruined….. This was consensual on my part too.”

“Oh,” Adrien squeaked. “Okay. Uh…well…good. I’m glad that neither of us is uncomfortable and that our friendship is still intact.” He cleared his throat, finally getting ahold of himself. “I don’t think that this should happen again, though. This time was sort of an accident, but I feel like this goes beyond the scope of accepted behavior between friends. I don’t want that kind of relationship with you.”

“O-Of course,” Marinette managed to choke out through gritted teeth. She was infinitely glad that he couldn’t see the expression on her face.

“I don’t want to be friends with benefits,” he continued softly. “I was completely serious a couple weeks ago at the café when I told Alya that you’re the kind of girl someone has to be serious about. If I weren’t me, I’d kill me for tonight.”

Marinette’s resolve to never tell Adrien about Chat Noir solidified.

“If I found out some other guy had used you like this…”

Marinette could feel Adrien bristle, and it made her heart swell. Perhaps she should be concerned instead, but she couldn’t help but swoon when he got violently jealous over her. She adored his protective streak. It gave her hope.

“Who’s to say that  _I’m_  not the one using  _you_?” Marinette snickered, mentally turning the tables on him.

Adrien blinked and was about to tell her that that was stupid because  _he_  was the one who’d had the mind-blowing orgasm…but he found that he couldn’t say that out loud without dying of humiliation.

The thought,  _“You can use me any time you want, Princess”_  also crossed his mind but was quickly ruled out because it would undermine the boundaries he was attempting to set.

Boundaries were a lot harder than Nino made them out to be.

“I guess you  _could_  technically use me,” Adrien reasoned. “I just have this sexist idea in my head that men are the ones that typically use women.”

“That’s really ironic considering that women use  _you_  all the time,” Marinette hummed softly, the mood shifting back into the realm of the somber.

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed, closing his eyes and zeroing in on the sound of her heart. “Ironic.”

It was quiet between them for a measure or two.

Marinette bit her lip. “…About your dating situation.”

Adrien made a soft sound of displeasure.

“Maybe you should stop dating around.”

He hummed thoughtfully, considering the idea.

“…Maybe I should ‘date around’ in the sense that you originally intended me to,” Adrien made a counteroffer. “Or, at least, maybe I should only date one or two girls any given week…and maybe take a few days off between girlfriends…and maybe not make out with so many different people.”

Marinette sighed heavily. “If that’s what you decide you want to do. It’s your life, Adrien.”

“What else would I even do?” Adrien sighed.

“Find someone you could be serious about?” Marinette suggested, knowing it was dumb but saying it anyway.

“I don’t think I’m at that point yet,” Adrien confessed. “You see what a mess I am. Do you think I’m capable of being in a serious relationship right now?”

“No,” she answered honestly. “But maybe find some girls you can be more serious about than the ones you’ve been with the past month and a half. No more hooking up with girls who are merely ‘not repulsive’. You obviously don’t feel right about that kind of arrangement anyway.”

“You’re right. I don’t,” he mumbled. “So…no more changing women like I change my socks.”

“Good,” Marinette breathed in relief.

Silence fell once more.

Adrien licked his lips nervously, hesitating before reintroducing the subject. “…You know, I’m still going to need a standard nickname I can call them to avoid any more name mix-ups like tonight.”

Marinette huffed and rolled her eyes. “I believe ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Babe’ or ‘Baby’ are the standards used by douchebags who can’t be bothered to learn their latest conquest’s name.”

“You’re not being fair,” Adrien grumbled. “I am a train wreck right now, and that’s not the fault of the girls I’m going to date. I will use their names when I remember, but when I don’t, I should have something to call them so that I don’t hurt their feelings or make them feel like I don’t care about them. I don’t want them to  _feel_  like they’re being used to help me get over some other girl.”

“How kind of you to be so considerate of the feelings of the girls you’re using to help you get over some other girl,” Marinette retorted wryly.

“You are the one who suggested this,” Adrien sighed.

“Personal accountability much, Agreste?” she snorted, unimpressed and slightly disenchanted.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I know.”

“…Even if this entire thing is twisted, part of me is kind of glad that you are thinking about their feelings to some extent,” Marinette begrudgingly admitted. “…How about ‘Honey’ or ‘Darling’? ‘Dearest’?”

Adrien pursed his lips. “‘Sweetheart’ might work if I say it with the right inflection; otherwise it sounds kind of…I don’t know. Kind of like I’m looking down on them or not taking them seriously. I don’t want to sound dismissive.”

“‘Sweetheart’? Dismissive?” Marinette scoffed skeptically.

“Seriously,” he argued. “What do you think when a guy says, ‘Hey, Sweetheart’ to you?”

Marinette frowned. Guys trying to pick her up off the street had, indeed, called out to her in that manner before. “Okay. Yeah. I see your point. ‘Sweetheart’ can sound kind of sleezy and dismissive.”

“I think ‘Baby’ has the same problem,” Adrien sighed. “And ‘Babe’ is what Alya calls Nino. It would feel incestuous to use her pet name. ‘Honey’ and ‘Darling’ sound too…domestic. Same for ‘Dearest’. ‘My Love’ is misleading. I guess I could come up with something original, but…I don’t know. Pet names usually sound so ridiculous. I want something affectionate but not overly affectionate. Something that feels personal but also generic enough to say in public.”

“Milady,” Marinette whispered.

Adrien gave a start as if he’d been electrocuted. “Wha—Bu—No. Isn’t that—No.—what Chat Noir calls Ladybug?”

Marinette shrugged. “It was an idea. I was trying to think of all the ridiculous things that Chat Noir uses as nicknames that somehow manage to work, but…”

Adrien knew that calling his girlfriends ‘Milady’ would only exacerbate the problem. “Maybe not that one,” he mumbled.

“Okay. How about ‘Princess’?” she suggested tiredly, and he was a little offended that she would even think of offering up his nickname for her to be used on other women. “It’s the perfect nickname. It’s flirty and affectionate while still being respectful. No one could think you were being dismissive if you called them ‘Princess’. That’s what Chat Noir usually calls me, and I’ve always secretly liked it.”

Adrien’s irritation immediately faded and was supplanted by pride and self-satisfaction.

“I don’t think I could call anyone ‘Princess’ with a straight face,” Adrien chuckled. “ _You_  are the only one I know who could wear that moniker and do it justice.”

Marinette let out a sharp, panicked bark of laughter at that. She cleared her throat and put on an indignant air. “Charmer.”

“I’m serious,” he insisted, but his chuckle diminished his credibility. “…May I call you ‘Princess’?”

“I don’t see how I can stop you,” Marinette sighed in resignation. “Chat Noir might have a bone to pick with you about it, though. He’s just about as protective of me as you are, and he might take exception to you using his nickname.”

“I’ll fight him for it,” Adrien swore. “…Princess.”

She shivered. It was the same effect Chat Noir had on her multiplied by ten. The breathy way he said it…it was unfair.  _He_  was unfair.

It was unfair that while he got to lie practically on top of her languidly, basking in the heady calm of the afterglow, she was still ratcheted up and ready to scream in frustration.

“Maybe you should just call your girlfriends ‘Ma Chère’ and be done with it,” she huffed.

“Maybe.” He shrugged.

It would be better than accidentally calling them “Marinette”.

…Actually…

“Would you want to go to the zoo on Sunday?” Adrien asked before he could completely think things through.

His thought process had gone something like: It would be impossible to accidentally call his girlfriend “Marinette” if he was with Marinette instead of his girlfriend; therefore, he should spend time with Marinette.

She hummed. “I’m not doing anything on Sunday. Have you already asked Nino and Alya?”

He stiffened, wondering if he should back out now before it was too late. “Uh…No.”

“Do you want me to text them?” she offered.

He swallowed hard. “No. I…wasn’t going to invite them.”

She was silent for a moment. “So…you meant…would I want to go to the zoo on Sunday…just the two of us?”

“Yes. That’s…what I meant.” He gulped again. “I mean…you and I have hung out just the two of us before. I was thinking…that could be fun.”

“Adrien, I am not going on a date with you. You are an emotional Hindenburg right now, and you have no idea what you’re asking,” she replied patiently, voice devoid of all emotion.

“I didn’t mean as a date,” he rushed to assure her. “I wasn’t… This has nothing to do with what happened between us earlier. I was just… I’ve been so busy with girlfriends lately, I thought…maybe I should make more time for my friends…you in particular, since the only thing we ever seem to talk about anymore is my relationships. I was thinking…maybe we should go on a-a friend date.”

“A ‘friend date’?” Her brow scrunched as the dreaded f word sullied another word she’d been longing to hear from his lips for four years.

“Yeah,” he replied lamely, sticking to his guns. “A friend date. Just…completely platonic. I mean, I’ll pay for the entrance fee and take you to lunch, but…”

“Adrien?” Marinette sighed.

He gulped a third time. “Yes?” He could tell he was crashing and burning.

She gave up. “Okay.”

“O…kay?” He tried to tilt his head up to get a look at her face, but it was hard at that angle.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “I will go with you on Sunday to the zoo. I will pay for my own ticket and my own lunch. We will not hold hands. You will not try to kiss me. This will be one hundred percent platonic.”

“Of course,” he quietly promised, feeling bad that he’d done something to make her think that laying down these rules was necessary.

“Adrien?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Please don’t drag me into this,” she begged in a tiny, fragile voice. “Please don’t let what happened before give you any ideas. I’m just your friend. I  _will_  be there for you during this crisis you’re going through, but I can’t do that as anything more than your friend. Okay?”

He grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips. “Sorry for pulling you into the mess, Princess.”

“It’s okay,” she insisted in that same small voice. “…I’m just trusting you…what you said about respecting me too much to mess around with me.”

“Okay,” he whispered.

She had no idea how much he respected her. Marinette Dupain-Cheng had been his idol almost from the day he’d met her. Kind, courageous, smart, creative, ambitious, and bold…she was everything he aspired to be. She had no way of knowing how much he looked up to her.

Maybe she never would know. After all, he had a funny way of showing it, always taking advantage one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't love this chapter. :/ It makes me sad, and I'm really uncomfortable with their relationship the way it is now. As a reader, I don't like this. It makes me anxious. As the writer, currently working on Nine, I know it gets better immediately after this and it's going to be fine and that they're going to work through everything. But still. I think the writing is fine, and I feel like some important progress is made. Obviously there's Adrien realizing that he might want to be more than just friends with Marinette, so that will set things up for him to recover from his downward spiral and give him a goal to work towards: getting better so that he can be in a relationship with Marinette.
> 
> Some of you are probably wondering, "If you're so uncomfortable with this chapter, why the heck did you write it?" The answer is simple: I am honestly writing this off the top of my head and literally just rolling with whatever decides to happen. For instance, today about halfway through the day it occurred to me that I should tackle the Papillon issue, so that's going into Nine. I got the prompt "partner" out of the random word generator for Eight, so all of the sudden Chat Noir got thrown into this and turned into a major plot point. This is literally a "throw it at the wall and see if it sticks" fic. ^.^;
> 
> But enough of my yammering. What did YOU think. Love it? Hate it? Indifferent? Uncomfortable? Ecstatic? Hopefully you liked it more than I did.
> 
> Next installment will be Adrien and Nino talking about Adrien and Marinette, and then Five will be back to the Adrienette content with Adrien in a much better place.
> 
> Thanks for reading. See you guys tomorrow!


	4. Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino and Adrien process and come up with a battle plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. Thank you for coming back for the fourth installment! Thank you as well for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. Your support is always greatly appreciated. It makes me so happy to know that you guys are enjoying my work.
> 
> Without further ado...

Adrien collapsed facedown onto Nino’s bed.

Nino pursed his lips. “…So how was the zoo?”

Adrien groaned. “She has ruined me.”

“Yeah, Alya’s dad is really proud of the new penguins,” Nino sighed. “Marinette likes penguins.”

“I thought the other one had messed me up, but  _Marinette_ …ugh,” Adrien whined, fingers clutching at the comforter in his agony.

This was officially the last place Nino wanted to be and the last thing he wanted to be doing. “Did you see the sealions? She likes sealions too.”

“I am a goner,” Adrien realized in horror. “Friday night, I got my first real taste of her, and now I can’t get her out of my head.”

With a guttural curse, Nino got to his feet and went to the bed, rolling Adrien over. “What the f did you do?”

Adrien blinked. “Sorry?”

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be if you’ve hurt her. What did you do with her?” Nino demanded.

Adrien sat up and shrugged. “N-Nothing.” His quickly reddening face instantly denounced him.

“Adrien Emile Agreste,” Nino growled. “Did you sleep with her? Did you kiss her? I understand that you’re going through some pretty crazy crap right now, but Marinette has been as patient as a saint with you this past month and a half while you’ve pretty much worked your way through the school’s cheer squad and the girls’ volleyball team. I love you, but my patience is wearing thin. What the hell happened?”

Adrien hid behind his hands. “I don’t know. It wasn’t…I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t make out with her. There was no kissing. It was just…I’ll start at the beginning.”

“Okay,” Nino sighed. “Sorry. It’s just—”

“—No. It’s okay.” Adrien shook his head, dropping his hands to his sides. “I know I’ve been taking advantage of her lately…for a long time, actually. I’m glad that there’s someone to stand up for her.”

Nino gave Adrien a comforting nudge.

Adrien nudged back but looked away. “Friday,” he announced. “I had my third date with my latest ex-girlfriend, Marianne. She was the university girl. We were in her dorm room, since her roommate was out of town for the weekend, and I was sitting in her desk chair, and she was on the bed, and she asked me if I wanted to make out. I didn’t really because I kind of would have rather talked, gotten to know one another better, but I said that we could make out if that was what she wanted to do.”

“Adrien,” Nino groaned, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t do that next time. If you don’t want to do something, say so. Don’t just go along with whatever she wants to do.”

“Yeah, I know, but…it was obvious that she expected me to say yes, so…” He shook his head.

“Adrien,” Nino stressed. “I know your old man’s been training you wrong your entire life, but you don’t always have to do what other people expect you to do. Promise me you will say no next time you don’t want to do something with a girl.”

Adrien nodded.

“I don’t hear you promising.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adrien grumbled. “I promise.”

Nino shook his head. “I worry about you. You make me worry.”

“Don’t worry.” Adrien wanted to bang his head against a wall.

“Someone has to when you let girls do whatever they want with you, regardless of your own wishes concerning the matter,” Nino hissed. “Guys can be sexually assaulted too, Adrien. Date rape is a thing.”

“I’m fine,” Adrien insisted.

“You are so totally not, but whatever,” Nino snorted. “You were saying? You let that Marianne girl have her way with you?”

“Did not,” Adrien sighed. “She got up off the bed and came over to the desk chair and straddled me so she was sitting on my lap, facing me, and we started making out.”

“Uh-huh,” Nino grunted, tempted to say that he didn’t need the play-by-play, but…he’d taken it upon himself to make sure that Adrien was safe, and that involved listening to gory make-out session details.

Adrien pointedly avoided Nino’s eyes and drew his knees up into his chest. “Things kind of got heated, and she started…rolling her hips.”

Nino cursed softly. “Keep talking.”

“And I was going to tell her to stop and that I didn’t want to go that far like you’d told me I should, but…” Adrien squirmed.

Nino cursed again a little louder.

“It felt good, and I was thinking that maybe it was okay…maybe it didn’t count as long as you kept your clothes on, but then—”

Nino cut him off with another curse. “—Tell me you didn’t. Please, please tell me you didn’t have sex with that skank.”

“I didn’t!” Adrien adamantly insisted, meeting Nino’s eye. “I didn’t. I’m still a virgin.” He winced. “…Maybe. Probably.”

“Maybe?!” Nino shrieked. “How is that something you’re up in the air about?! If you’re not a virgin, who did you maybe lose your virginity to?!”

Adrien’s eyes fell back down to the comforter. “Marinette?”

Adrien was slightly impressed at Nino’s ability to use a single curse as noun, adjective, and verb.

“Keep talking,” Nino growled. “Just…keep telling the story, but hurry up. Please.”

“So Marianne was rocking her hips, and she hit this one spot, and it was like electricity, and I gasped…the wrong name.” Adrien gulped. “I called her ‘Marinette’.”

Nino sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh, Mec.”

“Yeah.” Adrien bit his lip. “That was the end of that. Marianne broke up with me, but my head was a total mess, and I couldn’t go home like that, so…I called Marinette and asked if I could come over to her house.”

Nino smacked himself in the face and went back to cursing softly. “Because that was a good idea.”

“Yes and no,” Adrien sighed. “I was really messed up, and she… She always knows what to say and do. She always knows how exactly to scratch behind my ear or where to nuzzle or when to just sit with me, so…I went to Marinette, and we were up on her balcony, and she said all this really great stuff that made me feel…I don’t know. Happy and okay and safe and cared for…but then we started fighting about all the ex-girlfriends, and I ended up saying some really intense stuff about how in love I was with the other girl, and…she was just there for me.”

Adrien rested his forehead on the tops of his knees and lowered his voice. “She tugged me over to the deck chair she has up there and had me sit down in front of her. She pulled me back so that I was lying against her between her legs but facing out, and she just started touching my face and playing with my hair and nuzzling me and trailing really soft kisses up my neck and along my jaw and…she never touched me below the neck, but…she pressed all of my buttons, and it drove me absolutely insane. I mean, I was still pretty wired from Marianne earlier, and all the girls making out with me recently have had me pretty on edge, so…but Marinette pushed me over.”

“Oh,” Nino muttered.

“So I may or may not have lost my virginity to Marinette on Friday, depending on if your definition of sex has to include penetration or if it’s enough to achieve orgasm through the assistance of another person,” Adrien groaned miserably.

“Oh,” Nino reiterated. “So…What… How… I mean…I don’t imagine that you’re very subtle; I’ve seen you kiss girlfriends goodbye before. Marinette had to have known what she was doing to you.”

“Yep,” Adrien confirmed in a small voice, ears starting to turn crimson in mortification once more.

Nino’s brow furrowed. “So…she just…?”

“Yep, and I want her to do it again so bad. I. Am.  _Ruined_ ,” Adrien lamented. “I keep telling myself that she only sees me as a friend and she took pity on me because I was obviously a dumpster fire the other night, and I guess she figured I could use the release. She wasn’t wrong. I mean, I was kind of having a series of panic attacks, and…”

Adrien looked up pleadingly at Nino. “Today at the zoo, there were so many times I wanted to reach out and take her hand. There were so many times when we were standing close and she turned to look at me, and I wanted to kiss her. The only thing that stopped me was that she had specifically told me not to do those things because she could only hang out with me platonically.”

“Thank God one of you can set boundaries,” Nino snorted. “Adrien, I forbid you to kiss that girl.”

“Ever?” Adrien whimpered.

Nino rolled his eyes. “Until you get your head screwed back on.”

“I’ve been trying. It’s not working,” Adrien replied with a sarcastic grumble.

“Maybe try having a healthy relationship that lasts longer than a few days with one or two girls over the next couple months,” Nino suggested. “Don’t kiss anybody. Don’t almost sleep with anybody. I know you have enough willpower for this if you put your mind to it, Mec. Maybe, if you can manage that, you’ll be in good enough headspace to ask Marinette on a real date.”

“That would be good,” Adrien mumbled. “Sure. I can do that.”

“Good,” Nino sighed, taking off his hat to card a hand through his hair.

“Thank you,” Adrien whispered in a tiny, fragile voice.

Nino gave his shoulder an encouraging nudge. “You’re welcome. You okay now? We good?”

Adrien nodded. “Getting there, I think. Still a little bit of a dumpster fire, but I’m slowly improving.”

“Hey, at least you’re smokin’ hot.” Nino pointed finger guns at Adrien who rolled his eyes.

“Smoking hot garbage, maybe,” Adrien snorted.

Nino shrugged, arms wide and palms up. “You need anything else, Mec?”

Adrien shook his head. “You were going to show me another episode of Code Lyoko?”

“Dude, yes!” Nino laughed, clapping Adrien on the back. “Come on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at Nino's shirt. Now google "Code Lyoko Xana Symbol". Tell me that Nino is not a Code Lyoko fan. Tell me.
> 
> Well, I hope you liked the chapter. Things will kind of be stabilizing now. Next chapter is cute, sweet, simple Adrienette fluff. ...Okay, maybe not simple. There are complications, but it's still fluff. Look forward to that because you and Marinette and Adrien all deserve a break.
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	5. Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien go ice skating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. Welcome back for Day Five. I'm still Mikau (you know, in case you forgot). As always, thank you for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I really appreciate you guys, particularly those of you who come back night after night to read each chapter.
> 
> Today's installment is short and sweet. I hope you enjoy it.

“Does your girlfriend know we’re doing this? Just the two of us?” Marinette wondered skeptically, taking his hand and stepping out onto the ice.

“Yeah, I told her,” Adrien assured, savoring the grip of her fingers around his.

He’d told her that he was going ice skating with a friend. She hadn’t asked which one, and he hadn’t volunteered that information.

“What’s her name again?” Marinette inquired curtly and almost lost her footing.

Adrien caught her and didn’t let go even after she was steady.

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled innocently, linking his arm with hers and propelling them both forward around the rink. “My girlfriend? Her name is Elise.”

“Still?” She sounded incredulous.

He shrugged. “Still.”

“…It’s been, what? Two weeks?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He hadn’t really been keeping track.

“That’s a new record,” Marinette observed gloomily.

He frowned. “I guess. Marinette?”

“Hm?”

Adrien squeezed her hand and sent her one of his most dazzling grins. “I didn’t come here to talk about my girlfriend. I came to be with you. Tell me about the piece you’re designing for Father’s next competition.”

His grin and the soft fondness for her in his eyes gradually coaxed a hesitant smile onto Marinette’s lips. “You’re sure you want me to talk your ear off, Agreste?”

“That’s what I signed up for, Princess,” he assured with a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Now, instead of being loose with one girl after another, Adrien has upgraded to just one girlfriend...on whom he is emotionally cheating. -.-; Can we count that as an upgrade? I feel like this is a different type of "not good", Adrien. At least he's trying?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fluff. Next installment they go for Chinese food.
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	6. Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien and Marinette go for Chinese food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Welcome back for Day Six. Thank you so much for all the feedback this is getting. I've had some really interesting discussions with some of you! It's been really cool. Thank you as well to everyone leaving kudos and bookmarking this story.

Marinette paused with a large tangle of lo mien noodles suspended from her chopsticks, halfway to her mouth. “Today is your one-month anniversary with Elise, isn’t it?”

“Uh…” Adrien had to stop and really think about it. “Yes? I think you’re right. Why?”

Her eyes went wide with fear. “Why are you here eating Chinese with me? Does Elise know you’re here?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m here because you said, ‘Gee, Adrien. I sure would like to eat at this one place in China Town, but my mom’s too busy to take me, and I don’t feel comfortable going by myself because I don’t speak Chinese’,” he summarized. “And no, Elise does not know that I’m here. Contrary to popular belief, just because she’s my girlfriend, that doesn’t mean she gets to know where I am every second of every day.”

Marinette rolled her eyes back at him. “I  _meant_ , what the hell are you doing here eating Chinese with me when you should be spending the day with your girlfriend?”

“I’m eating Chinese with you,” he scoffed. “Exactly what I  _want_  to be doing.”

“Adrien,” Marinette softly chided. “Have you at least texted her Happy Anniversary?”

“Considering that I didn’t realize it was our anniversary until you remembered for me? No,” Adrien sighed, going back to his meal.

“Are you  _going_  to?” Marinette prodded, looking at him expectantly.

He shrugged. “Maybe later.”

“You’re going to forget,” she predicted flatly. “You should text her now while you’re thinking about it.”

Adrien pulled out his phone and unlocked it before sliding it across the table to Marinette. “Why don’t you do it, then, since you care so much?”

Marinette frowned down at the phone before picking it up to stare at it some more. “…She really likes you, you know.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Adrien muttered shamefacedly down into his ramen.

“Do you not like her?” Marinette wondered.

“Marinette, she’s  _fine_ ,” he groaned. “I just don’t want to talk about her right now.”

“Because I think she’s been really good for you,” Marinette hesitantly defended Elise, even though she didn’t care for the other girl much. “You’ve seemed…more stable this past month. Less agitated. More calm and clear-headed.”

_“That’s because I’m not getting better for just me anymore. I’m working on getting better to be with you.”_

“She’s teaching me patience at least,” Adrien muttered, slurping at his noodles.

“I think you should call her and see if she can do something tonight to celebrate your anniversary,” Marinette proposed. “If we leave now, you could probably still hit up a flower shop and get some roses for her. You might not be able to do anything more romantic than walk along the Seine together on such short notice, but that’s still something, right?”

Adrien blinked dumbly across the table at her. “But…we were going to go back to your house and watch anime together?”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “You can show me Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso some other time.”

_“But I have been waiting to snuggle on a couch with you all freaking week since we planned this.”_

“Your girlfriend is more important,” Marinette insisted.

Adrien’s mind screamed, “False!” and “Error!” and “Untruth!” at him, but it didn’t really have a good idea of what he should say out loud to counter Marinette’s argument.

Adrien decided to go with, “No.”

Marinette frowned. “No? What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean, I’ll talk to Elise later. Right now, we’re eating dinner together, and then we’re going back to your house to watch KimiUso,” he answered brusquely, beginning to lose patience with Elise.

“Adrien, we can’t,” Marinette sighed, shaking her head remorsefully.

“What do you mean we can’t?” Adrien gaped at her in exasperation. “I’ve had this on my calendar for a whole week now.”

“You need to spend your anniversary with your girlfriend,” she pressed. “What is she going to think when she finds out you’re with me?”

“Either that I’m cheating on her or that I enjoy spending time with my friend. Who’s going to tell her anyway?” he challenged.

“Adrien,” she scolded, and that was the last straw.

“Give me my phone back,” he growled.

She raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “Why?”

“I’m going to break up with her. Give me my phone.”

“Adrien!” she shrieked. “What the hell is wrong with you?! You can’t break up with a girl via text! Besides, you can’t break up with Elise.”

“I’m pretty sure I can. Phone, Princess.  _Now_ ,” Adrien hissed. If Elise was going to get in the way of his relationship with Marinette, if Elise was going to start fights between them, Elise had to go.

“No. Elise is wonderful!” Marinette protested. “She’s gorgeous! I mean, she’s a model, and she’s scary smart the way she’s studying to be a pediatrician, and, most importantly, she cares about you, Adrien. She cares about you so, so much. She’s worlds better than all those other girls you dated before you found her. You can’t break up with her just because you’re annoyed with me.”

“I’m not annoyed with you. I’m annoyed with  _her_ ,” Adrien spat.

“What did she do?” Marinette wondered, completely baffled.

“She’s coming between us.” He struggled to get his temper back under control. “She’s making us fight. I just want to eat Chinese food and watch anime with you, and she’s ruining that. I don’t need someone like that in my life.”

“Okay,” Marinette sighed. “Fine. You don’t have to spend your anniversary with her. We can just hang out and watch Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso tonight, but don’t break up with her, okay? I don’t want you to go back to dating all those girls like before. I really do think that Elise is good for you…okay?” she begged, and the desperation in her words turned his stomach.

“Okay,” he agreed. If it made her happy, he wouldn’t break up with Elise.

“I’m going to text her Happy Anniversary now?” Marinette offered.

He shook his head. “Keep my phone and remind me tonight before I go home. I don’t want to text her and then have her text back and interrupt us.”

Marinette was about to half-heartedly agree when the phone in her hand lit up. She frowned. “It’s her. She wants to know what you’re doing.” She looked up at him for guidance.

“Don’t answer that,” Adrien instructed.

Marinette pursed her lips and frowned. “Why not?”

“You don’t want her to know I’m spending the evening with you, do you?” he reminded.

She shook her head.

“So I’d have to lie to her. Do you want me to lie to her?” He quirked an eyebrow.

Marinette considered for a moment before shaking her head once more.

“Okay. So the best course of action is for me to ignore her and then text her later with something like, ‘Sorry I missed your texts earlier, Ma Chère. I missed you today. Happy Anniversary.’ Right?”

Marinette looked down at the phone, at the hearts surrounding Elise’s message. “Right,” she mumbled, putting the screen to sleep and tucking it into her pocket where it buzzed several more times throughout the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is kind of horrified at how supportive Marinette is of his relationship with Elise. Marinette is afraid that if things fall through with Elise, Adrien will go back to dating a new girl every few days.


	7. Sofa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien has an epiphany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back for Day Seven. This is actually ending up to be longer than I thought it would be. I'm on Twelve: Chance right now. I had meant for this to be about ten chapters, but...Chat Noir decided to drop in and mess with the plot in Eight, and then Gabriel asked if he could be in the story because he wanted to try to be there for his son, so there's Nine and Ten, and then Marinette really needed to talk to Nino (Eleven), and Chat Noir had to come back to try to fix things (Twelve). Then Adrien and Marinette need to have a serious talk (Thirteen), after which, I have to pick things up and put them back together (chapter count indeterminable).
> 
> The next time I say, "Oh, I decided I was going to pull out the random word generator and do a drabble fic last night" someone needs to stage an intervention. Unless you like things like this and Violets. In that case, leave me to my chaos. ^.^;

This was Adrien’s punishment for being a bad boyfriend. He’d cancelled on Elise when Marinette had invited him over to watch movies and play board games, and now he was curled up on the couch with his arm around her, Marinette snuggled up to his side, watching a film with entirely too much sex in it.

It was torture, sitting there with his arm around the object of his desire and yet being unable to claim her. It was almost intolerable watching the characters on screen partake in carnal delights of which Adrien knew nothing.

All Adrien had were his fantasies and the memory of that night a month and a half before when he had fallen in love on her balcony and gotten a taste of the ways she could drive him insane.

Marinette shifted beside him, and it was all Adrien could do not to whimper.

Curse raging teenage hormones and his ridiculous level of tactile sensitivity.

“You know, Alya told me I should watch this with you,” Marinette hummed thoughtfully. “I’m beginning to think that she’s trolling us because, while there are hints of a detective story going on in the background, this is mostly just gratuitous sex.”

“Oh. That was nice of her,” Adrien snorted, wondering if Alya had picked up on his super obvious crush on Marinette.

“Yeah.” Marinette drummed her fingers against her thigh in a highly distracting manner. “I’ve decided that she was just having fun at our expense and not that she was trying to inspire us to cheat on your girlfriend.”

Adrien made a little strangled noise and wondered what his best course of action would be. First off, was cheating on Adrien’s girlfriend even seriously an option? He was all for cheating on his girlfriend with Marinette. Marinette sounded like she disapproved of that idea, though, and Adrien didn’t want anything that happened between them to be tainted by guilt or regret. He considered volunteering to break up with his girlfriend if Marinette was interested in reenacting any of the scenes from the movie.

It was then that Adrien realized he was a bad human being on top of being a bad boyfriend. He had lied to Elise about needing to cancel their plans for work so that he could spend time with Marinette instead. He lied to Elise daily just by pretending to be in a relationship with her when he wasn’t actually interested. He was considering disregarding her feelings entirely and dropping her flat without warning or explanation.

If Marinette ever found out about this…she’d be so upset and disappointed.

Adrien was kind of disappointed at how low he’d sunk himself.

What had happened? What the actual heck had happened? He hadn’t always been like this…had he? No. It was just the past three months that things had been insane. He wasn’t really like this. He didn’t _do_ things like this that he was ashamed to admit to his friends. This wasn’t who he was. This wasn’t the person he _wanted_ to be. He could do better. He _would_ do better.

First things first, he really needed to break up with Elise.  _Decently_. With an explanation and an apology.

Marinette rested her head on his shoulder, yanking him out of his thoughts.

Apparently, they were still watching the movie. He wasn’t sure if his self-restraint could take another forty minutes of this.

“Is Elise a good kisser?”

Adrien nearly choked on his own tongue. “Where the hell did that come from?”

Marinette shrugged. “Dunno. Is she?”

Adrien gulped. “I…I don’t know.”

Marinette snorted. “How can you not know? You’ve had plenty of other girls to compare her with.”

Adrien flinched. “Please don’t remind me. For the hundredth time, it was _your_ idea for me to be a slut, as I’ve heard Alya describe me.”

“Falsehood,” she decreed, reminding, “Personal responsibility for your own actions, Agreste.”

“S-Sorry,” Adrien grumbled softly in humiliation. Yeah, that was something he was going to have to work on too. _“Damn it.”_

“…Do you  _like_  kissing Elise?” Marinette tried a different approach.

Adrien groaned, letting his head drop to rest against hers. “I don’t  _know_ , Marinette. I  _haven’t_  kissed her.”

Marinette peeled herself away from him, turning to sit facing him on the couch.

He could feel her eyes studying him, analyzing what she saw. With a sigh, he turned to look her in the eye. “What?”

“Why haven’t you kissed her? You didn’t have a problem letting all those other girls shove their tongues down your throat….” Marinette winced as a realization dawned upon her, and when she met his gaze again, there was apprehension in her eyes. “Is she really that special?”

“No,” Adrien sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No. I haven’t kissed her because I haven’t wanted to. I’m not…I’m not interested in her.”

“That didn’t stop you before with those other girls,” Marinette argued.

“Can we forget that that happened?” Adrien begging in exasperation.

“No, I can’t,” she reported honestly.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Okay. Yeah, not having feelings for someone didn’t stop me from making out with those other girls, but that was before—” I realized that I wanted you.

He cleared his throat and forced himself to look at her. “Listen. I haven’t kissed anyone in over a month. Do you remember that one night on your balcony?”

Marinette frowned, searching for “Adrien” plus “balcony” in a shoebox full of memories of her balcony and Chat Noir.

Adrien could feel his face going pink, but he refused to look away. “The one where I was a ten-car pileup and we accidentally crossed a line.”

“Oh,” she squeaked, her own cheeks flushing. She coughed softly. “What…What about it?”

“That night was the last time I kissed someone. That was the night I made an important discovery that made me decide I didn’t want to treat my affections as if they were cheap anymore…so I haven’t kissed Elise,” he confessed.

She nodded. “Then…why are you dating her? Why have you been dating her for a month and a half?”

“Because you and Nino both said I needed to date other people and get my stuff together before I could be ready to start a serious relationship with someone new.” He shrugged, feeling shame singe his cheeks. “Because she’s a really great woman, and she’s good for me.”

Marinette continued to nod, looking troubled.

“I need to break up with her, though,” he sighed. “I can’t keep doing this to her. She’s serious about me, but I…”

He winced and made himself look Marinette in the eye again. “Don’t hate me, but I’m supposed to be on a date with her right now. We were supposed to go to the Musée d’Orsay, but, this morning, when you asked if I wanted to hang out, I told her I had to cancel because of work.”

Marinette’s eyes widened, her lips rounding into a surprised “o”. “W-Why would you do that?”

“Because I would rather be here with you watching thinly-veiled porn instead of spending time with my girlfriend,” he laughed sharply before adding in a whisper, “I feel like that’s indicative of something. I feel like that means I really need to end this relationship.”

He stood up. “I’m sorry. I should probably go do that.”

“What are you going to tell her?” Marinette wondered.

He looked back at her and smiled in terror. “The truth…but I’ll try to make it sound nicer and prettier than it really is.”

Marinette bit the inside of her cheek. “Okay. Go do that, but then come back. I’ll start on some passionfruit macarons, and we can eat them later while we play board games. Sound good?” She put on a brave smile for him.

“You’re an angel,” he sighed, leaning in to press a quick smooch to her cheek. He got a little closer to the side of her mouth than he had intended. Blushing, he pulled back and grinned, trying to cover up how much he meant it when he said, “I love you, Princess. You’re the best.”

He didn’t wait to see her reaction, whipping around and bolting for the door as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

In his wake, he left a very flustered Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Finally. I feel like we're getting somewhere. This boy is so much WORK. Ugh.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you tomorrow!


	8. Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir pays Marinette a visit...and things go sideways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Welcome to Day Eight. Today we have some Marichat...and the start of the next arc. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who left comments and kudos and who bookmarked the story. I was super busy last night and today, so I haven't had time to reply to the comments on Seven, but I'll take care of replies hopefully tonight. Thanks so much for your support!

“What?” Marinette sighed.

“What?” Chat Noir echoed, reaching out to poke her nose.

She grabbed his finger and gently bent it backwards.

“I give,” he gasped, terror in his eyes.

Marinette quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “I barely touched you.”

“I have a piano recital coming up, if you’ll remember,” the oversized cat sniffed indignantly.

“Oh!” Marinette squeaked, grabbing his hand and inspecting it for damage. “I’m so sorry! I forgot. Are you okay, Minou?!”

“I don’t know. I think you pulled something,” Chat snickered. “I think I’m going to need you to put on a skimpy little nurse’s outfit and pamper me back to health.”

Marinette smirked up at him from where she sat on the floor with her sketchbook. Her grin was positively lascivious. “Oh? Would you like that? Me in a nurse’s costume?”

“I’d like you in anything,” Chat purred, allowing the thoughts that he had to keep a lid on as Adrien to come to the surface. “I’d like you in  _nothing_ ,” he added.

“Oh?” Marinette fingered the top button of her blouse impishly.

“Yeah,” he chuckled from his perch lying on his stomach on her chaise longue.

She undid the button and Chat both at the same time.

He gulped as he caught a glimpse of her lacey lilac bra.

“Do you use a rectal thermometer on cats too, or is that just dogs?” she hummed thoughtfully.

Chat softly cursed as he buried his face in the chaise and tapped out.

“Ooooh,” Marinette cooed theatrically. “Poor kitty can dish it out, but he can’t take it.”

“Have mercy, Princess,” Chat groaned. “I am but a lowly alley cat, and you are a divine being. What is my seductive allure when compared to yours, O Goddess who did teach the sun and moon to shine in all their radiant glory?”

Marinette abandoned her sketchbook to lean in closer, pillowing her forearms on the seat of the chaise. “Keep talking,” she prompted beguilingly. “That silver tongue of yours might get you somewhere after all.”

With a smirk, Chat interlaced his fingers with hers, bring her hand to his lips to kiss her pinky. “The stars pale in comparison to the blue flames of passion in your eyes.”

He kissed her ring finger. “The flowers of the field sigh in envy as you pass, for their maker lacked your imagination, O Goddess, and did not attire them as resplendently as you clothe yourself.”

Next, he brought her middle finger to his lips. “Though you are powerful beyond measure, My Warrior Princess, your soul is kind and gentle. Though you could command obedience, you win your subjects’ unyielding love and devotion through your great compassion and unassuming, quiet leadership.”

He placed a tender kiss on her index finger, his eyes never leaving hers. “O Goddess, as if your passion, your creativity, your pure soul, and all your other gifts which I have failed to mention were not enough, the beauty of your visage, your person, and every part thereto is such to bring proud men to their knees. How much more so a lowly alley cat? Goddess, you are perfection, and every part I do love,” he confessed resolutely, lifting her thumb to his lips for its turn.

“So, I pray thee, Lady and Mistress of my heart…keep it well. I gladly entrust it to you in full confidence that you will use it gently and with care. I give it willingly, but…because I know my sovereign is generous and indulgent…I dare to entreat a blessing in exchange. O Goddess, show this poor knave mercy and bestow your favor upon his unworthy lips,” he whispered in conclusion.

Marinette grinned, taking Chat’s hand in her own and tugging off the glove carefully. She pressed his index finger to his lips before adding her own mouth to the other side of his finger, sandwiching the digit between the two sets of lips.

Adrien’s heart fluttered in his chest. Even though the finger kept their lips fairly well apart, he could still feel her lips moving in a slow, tantalizing dance. He happily kept pace, accepting the feeling of her breath on his face, the occasional brush of her mouth against his.

It was over too soon, and Marinette pulled away with a radiant grin. “Chat Noir, where did you learn to speak so prettily, you charmer?”

Chat shrugged, drunk on the sparkle in her eyes. “My mother did a lot of Shakespeare. Not that I claim to approach that level of greatness with my oratory endeavors, and I’m sure I made plenty of mistakes, but…listen to enough Shakespeare, and you start picking up the cadences and vocabulary. Besides, I firmly believe that the sexiest thing a guy can do is quote Shakespeare, so I might have some skin in the game.”

“The sexiest thing a guy can do is quote Shakespeare while posing for an underwear ad,” Marinette amended.

“Yeah, okay,” Chat agreed while, internally, Adrien declared,  _“Challenge accepted.”_

“You’re going to make some woman insanely happy someday, Minou,” Marinette chuckled.

“If you’ll let me, I’d like to start now,” Chat purred before he could consider the repercussions of what he was saying.

Marinette blinked, leaning back slightly. “Chat?” She swallowed nervously. “What do you mean?”

Internally, one part of his mind was begging him to throw on the brakes. The other half was shouting at him to go for it.

Reasoning that this could be good practice for when he finally revealed his feelings to Marinette as Adrien, Chat decided to go all in.

“Marinette.” Chat took a deep breath. “You can say no, and I swear we’ll still be friends after this, but…I wasn’t just flattering you earlier; I was one hundred percent serious. My heart is your captive. …May I have the honor of taking you on a date?”

Marinette’s face lost all color. Her hand went to cover her mouth as she gasped, “Oh, Minou. Oh, Chat Noir.”

Chat winced, turning away. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds like a ‘no’.”

“Chat,” she cooed sympathetically, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder but, then, thinking better of it, retracting. “I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t realize you were seriously flirting with me this whole time. I—”

“—It’s okay, Princess,” he quickly assured. Yes, it stung, but there was still hope for Adrien. “Don’t worry about it. I guess I’m a little over the top, so…I mean, Ladybug didn’t realize I was actually flirting with her either for a long time.… But it’s okay. No hard feelings. If you can only think of me as a friend, then that’s enough.”

“It’s not…that exactly,” Marinette muttered, averting her gaze as her cheeks went scarlet. “I… _I_ have been seriously flirting with you for at least the past two years. It’s not that I’m not interested. I just…” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to capture her scattered thoughts.

“Is it the secret identity thing?” he inquired, perking up with renewed hope. “That doesn’t have to be an issue.”

It was a little inconvenient that Adrien currently had a girlfriend, but that could easily be fixed if Marinette could accept him on both sides of the mask.

“Say the word, Princess, and my secret is yours,” he urged, hoping she’d say yes so that they could start on their ‘happily ever after’.

“Chat, no,” Marinette sighed, looking miserable. She rubbed at her eyes with the heels of her palms and shook her head. “There’s someone else.”

Her words hurt like a gunshot wound.

“O-Oh?” Chat gulped.

This was eerily familiar.

You’re an important friend, Chat Noir, but there’s someone else I’m in love with.

He’d heard those words over and over from another girl’s lips, and now Marinette was going to say them as well, crushing him all over again.

She nodded, reluctantly meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry. Chat, you mean so much to me, but I don’t think I can be with you. I’m in love with someone else. I think I’m always going to love him, even if he can’t return my feelings, and it’s not fair to you. I can’t give you my heart because it’s already his, and you deserve so much more than to be a stand-in for somebody else. I’m sorry.”

“That’s…okay.” He forced the words out, shoving his feelings down until he could be alone to unpack them. He smiled weakly. “Uh…thank you. I, uh, appreciate your consideration of… That’s nice of you, not to just date me when you couldn’t be serious about me. I…”

He did not appreciate her consideration. He did not think it was nice of her. He’d rather be a second choice stand-in for someone else than never know any kind of love at all. Couldn’t she at least give him a chance? If she thought he was attractive, why not date him and give him the opportunity to win her over? She thought she was giving him kindness, but it was, in truth, cruelty. She thought she was being good by being honest, but he’d rather have pretty lies.

“You never mentioned that you were in love with someone before,” he remarked softly, trying to process his myriad thoughts. She hadn’t mentioned this other guy to either Chat or Adrien.

Marinette shrugged.

“May I ask his name?”

He wasn’t sure if it would make it easier if he knew to whom he had lost out.

She shook her head sadly. “I’m so sorry, Chat Noir.”

He cleared his throat and nodded. “Okay. That’s fair…. I think I’m going to go now.”

She winced. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Don’t even worry about it.” He raised and dropped his right shoulder, attempting to be cool and nonchalant. The last thing he wanted was to be further humiliated on top of the prior injury his ego had sustained.

He got up to leave.

She stood and caught him by the arm. “You’ll come back, won’t you?” Her fingers tightened around his bicep. “I’m sorry. It’s selfish of me, but…I really love having you in my life. Please come back soon—when you’re ready, I mean…but soon, please. I’ll miss you,” she pleaded.

He couldn’t find his voice to respond. He couldn’t answer the tears starting to gather in the corners of her eyes or the wretchedness and guilt written on her face.

So he didn’t. He pulled the arm she still gripped towards himself, and she came with it, tripping into his embrace. He pressed his lips to hers with heat and desperation.

She gasped, and he pressed harder, further.

She whimpered, and he could taste the salt of her tears as she began to cry.

He pulled back, horrified, and tossed, “I’m so sorry,” over his shoulder as he fled, unable to look at her face for fear of what he might find reflected there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem. Yeah. I didn't see this plot element coming, but...here we are.
> 
> Kindly reserve judgment on the fact that Adrien states that he has another girlfriend after Elise. He can explain, and he will in Thirteen. He's not being a cad, just a pushover. Her name is Marie, and she doesn't know how to take no for an answer. Adrien doesn't know how to say no more than twice.
> 
> See you tomorrow, guys.


	9. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel tries to step up and learns something very upsetting in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. Thank you for coming back for more. This is Day Nine, and there's still no official chapter count in sight. I'm working on Fourteen right now. These latter chapters are getting a little longer, so I might catch up with myself. In that case, the update schedule will have to be adjusted, but we'll deal with that if/when the time comes. In the meantime, thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos and bookmarks. I'm so pleased that so many people are excited about this story. It keeps me going, even though this is an emotionally draining one.
> 
> And now, did someone ask for a father son talk?

“Detransformation,” Chat choked, and Adrien stumbled over to collapse onto his bed.

“Kid?” Plagg called tentatively, unsure of what to do, if it would be better to let Adrien have his privacy or if Adrien needed him to stop the inevitable dark spiral Adrien’s mind was trapped in.

Plagg had been at a complete loss the past few months, and he was afraid he was losing Adrien to himself.

His chosen responded with a muffled sob into his pillow, unable to speak.

“Hey,” Plagg sighed, going over to pet Adrien’s head. “Okay. I’ll be honest. I don’t even know what you’re upset about right now in particular, so let’s just go down the list. So, she doesn’t want to date Chat Noir. Okay. That’s not the end of the world. Maybe her response would have been different if Adrien had confessed to her instead. You don’t know until you try right?”

_“You want me to put my heart out there again and let her hurt me like this a second time?”_ Adrien mentally scoffed, trembling as he continued to cry and giving no indication whether or not he had heard Plagg.

“Okay,” Plagg soldiered on. “And so what if there’s another guy? It’s not like she’s married. And, heck, even that’s not as big an issue as it used to be! Just keep working at her. She’ll come around eventually.”

_“Like Ladybug did?”_ Adrien only sobbed harder.

“Is this about the way you kissed her?” Plagg guessed. “I’m pretty sure that was a good kiss. She’ll be thinking about that for a while.”

Adrien choked.

Plagg frowned. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing. She was the one getting all flirty earlier with the way she sandwiched your finger between both of your lips and kissed you. Yes, she told you she didn’t want to date you, but I don’t think she was necessarily opposed to that kiss at the end.”

Adrien offered no further response.

Plagg pursed his lips and began licking Adrien, cleaning his face and smoothing his hair. “Oh, Kitten. I suck at this. Should I just leave you alone?”

Adrien shook his head.

“Okay. I’ll…keep grooming, then,” Plagg sighed.

“W-What’s wrong…with me?” Adrien gasped.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Kid,” Plagg assured, shelving the ‘do you want the list?’ snark for another day.

“What’s wrong…that they don’t w-want me?” Adrien clarified haltingly.

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Kid, that’s a problem with Ladybug and Marinette, not with you.”

“What do these other guys have that I d-don’t? What do they like about them so much?”

“Kid, this is not a useful exercise,” Plagg groaned. “You can’t become them, and acting more like them isn’t going to make the girls like you more. You have watched hundreds of those sappy rom-coms over the years. You should have learned by now that the only course of action is to be yourself.”

“N-No one likes _me_ ,” Adrien sniffled.

“That girl you broke up with last week liked you,” Plagg volunteered, not realizing that this was more of an additional barb than a comfort.

Adrien winced, curling into a little comma and beginning to cry harder once more.

“Oh, Kid,” Plagg sighed. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over that.”

“I was a m-monster to her.”

“She’s okay,” Plagg argued. “You made a mistake, but she’s okay. You did the decent thing, apologizing and explaining things to her. What I was getting at was that she _liked_ you. You _are_ likeable…and you’re going to find someone who you like too.”

“And then _she’s_ going to tell me what a great friend I am and how important I am to her but that she already has someone she likes too,” Adrien choked, devolving into a pile of sobs once more.

Plagg groaned, going back to grooming. “It’s going to be okay, Kitten. Shh…. I’m so sorry that they hurt you, but you have to believe that it’s going to get better.”

Adrien vehemently shook his head, redoubling his sobs.

“Shh, Kitten. Shh,” Plagg whispered, gently licking Adrien’s cheek. “Hang in there.”

The door to Adrien’s room burst open, making Adrien sit up and Plagg scurry for cover in the nightstand drawer as the light flicked on.

“Adrien?” Gabriel called urgently.

“F-Father?” Adrien choked, hurriedly attempting to wipe the evidence of his tears from his face.

“Adrien, are you all right?” Gabriel strode to his son’s side. “I heard you crying.”

That idea that this was impossible briefly flitted through Adrien’s mind. Both Gabriel and Nathalie’s rooms were on the other side of the mansion, and the walls of Adrien’s room were thick. If Gabriel had been standing in the hall outside Adrien’s door, perhaps he could have heard Adrien sobbing into his pillow, but it was nearly midnight, and Gabriel usually turned in by ten-thirty.

But, the indisputable fact was that Gabriel was there in Adrien’s room, and Adrien had been caught red-eyed and puffy-faced with tear tracks still evident on his cheeks.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I didn’t realize I was being so loud,” Adrien answered shakily. “I’m sorry.”

He steeled himself for a lecture on dignity and comportment and expressing weakness.

Instead, Gabriel frowned and tentatively sat down on the bed next to Adrien, slowly reaching out a hand and resting it awkwardly on his son’s shoulder. “Adrien, I’m not here to lodge a noise complaint. I’m here because you’re upset.”

“O-Oh?” Adrien gulped, wiping at his face self-consciously.

Gabriel cleared his throat and retracted his hand. He stood, assuming his usual position with his hands behind his back. “Yes. …And now that I’ve seen that you’re okay, I suppose I shall take my leave.”

“Oh,” Adrien mumbled in disappointment, dropping his gaze to the bedspread. “Okay. Thank you, Father.”

Gabriel’s brow furrowed as another stab of negative emotion radiated through the Butterfly Miraculous. “Or…if you’d like, maybe I could stay and…I don’t know. Talk about it?”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “R-Really?”

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably. “If you’d like. If you think it would help.”

“I don’t think it would hurt,” Adrien muttered. “Um… Would you like to go sit on the couch, maybe?”

“Sure,” Gabriel awkwardly agreed and let Adrien lead the way.

Adrien sat with his feet on the seat cushion and his knees pulled into his chest.

Gabriel tentatively joined him, careful to sit within reach but not too close.

“You’re…not okay…are you?” Gabriel sighed, voicing a fact that he had been staunchly ignoring for months now, hoping it would go away.

“No,” Adrien whispered. “It’s been a long time since I was last ‘okay’.”

Gabriel nodded, sneaking sidelong glances at his son. “The past few months have been difficult for you.”

Adrien turned to quirk an eyebrow at Gabriel. “The past few _years_ have been difficult for me,” he corrected and watched Gabriel’s face go ashen.

Adrien turned away, looking at their reflections in the windows. “But, yes. The last few months have been particularly awful.”

Gabriel nodded again, not knowing what to say.

“Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in a loop?” Adrien sighed.

Gabriel’s immediate answer was a resounding “yes”, but he was more interested in getting to the bottom of Adrien’s problems than discussing his own.

“How so?” he prompted instead.

Adrien shrugged. “There’s…this girl I was in love with for a long time…that I still am kind of in love with.”

“You? In love? You’re eighteen. What can you possibly know about being in love?” Gabriel chuckled fondly at his son’s naïve romanticism…and then regretted it instantly as his Miraculous throbbed in tandem with Adrien’s wince.

“N-Nothing, I guess,” Adrien whispered, turning his head so that Gabriel wouldn’t see the tears beginning to flow down his cheeks once more.

Gabriel reached out a hand but then withdrew it, second guessing the gesture. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Adrien spoke before Gabriel could get the words out.

“I don’t know what love is for other people, but, for me, it was willingly taking a blow from an akuma or pushing her out of the way of an oncoming car. Love was her smile making even the worst day bearable. Giving up on things I wanted because she didn’t. Bending over backwards to get her to laugh. Holding her when she was on the verge of tears. Sharing the weight of the load when it got too heavy for her to carry alone.”

Adrien shrugged again. “Maybe you’re right, and I was just being stupid and idealistic, but…I wanted to build a life with her. I thought about what color we’d paint the kitchen and what we’d name the dog. I wanted to take care of sick kids with her and go on vacation and argue about me spending too much money. I wanted to change diapers and deal with morning sickness…have food fights while making dinner…wake up next to her. I wanted to take care of her and have her want to take care of me. I don’t know if that’s what love is for other people, but that was love for me.”

It took Gabriel nearly a full minute to articulate, “What happened?”

He meant it on several levels: When had his son grown up? When had Adrien matured into a thoughtful, sensitive young man? What had happened to Gabriel’s little boy?

“She didn’t want those things with me,” Adrien replied simply, his voice cracking.

Gabriel searched for words of comfort, but none were forthcoming. Gabriel had loved twice and been loved twice in return. He had no conception of the rejection and hurt Adrien was experiencing.

“She told me how important I was to her, what a great friend I was, but that she couldn’t love me the way I loved her.”

“This was three months ago?” Gabriel inquired softly.

Adrien let out a bitter laugh. “This was the last four years. Three months ago was when I realized that she wasn’t going to change her mind no matter how long I waited…and I kind of had a quarter-life crisis over it.”

“When you were dating all those different girls?” Gabriel sighed.

“I’d wondered if you’d noticed,” Adrien chuckled darkly. “You never said anything. The entire month and a half I was expecting you at any time to chew me out and put me under house arrest…but you didn’t.”

Adrien tentatively looked at his father as Adrien wiped at the fresh tears streaming down his face. “…Why didn’t you?”

Gabriel looked away. “I was busy with Fashion Week.”

“Oh.” Adrien nodded, not surprised but still hurt all the same.

Gabriel had made time to speak with Adrien about other matters during that time, trivial matters. Adrien’s grades, Adrien’s extracurriculars, Adrien’s modeling schedule…

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I didn’t realize at first that every time you said ‘girlfriend’ you were referring to a different girl. Nathalie had standing orders to perform background checks, and…I wasn’t paying attention. There hadn’t been anything about it in the media, so it wasn’t until Nathalie brought it to my attention that I realized…”

“That I was spiraling out of control and acting like a slut?” Adrien finished.

Gabriel grimaced. “Nathalie said you weren’t sleeping with anyone. She assured me that while the women you were dating weren’t ideal, they were basically harmless.”

“So…what? It’s okay for me to make out with sixteen different women in six weeks so long as they’re basically harmless?” Adrien laughed. “Nathalie seemed pretty concerned about it but didn’t think it was her place to say anything. Were you not concerned that something might be wrong when my behavior drastically shifted like that?”

“Adrien, I _was_ concerned,” Gabriel assured. “I just didn’t know what to do, and then you started dating Elise, and I thought the problem was solved. What were you _wanting_ me to do?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Ground me and give me a lecture about self-respect. Show some sign that you cared about me enough to stop me from self-destructing and ruining my life…and not just because of how it would look to the public or how it would reflect on the company.”

Adrien looked away as a new wave of tears overtook him.

Gabriel looked down at the coffee table. “…I’ve really failed you spectacularly, haven’t I? I didn’t even sense how upset you’ve been until tonight.”

Adrien shrugged. “…I appreciate that you’re sitting here with me now.”

“Oh, Adrien,” Gabriel breathed. “I am so, so sorry.”

Adrien shook his head. “It’s okay.”

“…It’s really not.”

“At least I had Marinette,” Adrien whispered. “She’s the one who really saved me.”

_“And damned me.”_

“Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

Adrien nodded, a soft smile coming to his lips. “She has figuratively been an angel these past three months. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

“Oh?” Gabriel wondered if he was perhaps reading too much into Adrien’s lovesick smile, but it seemed to him that his son cared for this girl as more than just a friend.

“She was always there to listen to me whine and give me advice and coddle me when I was feeling down and give me a kick in the pants when I needed one. She resolutely put up with all my crap and never once complained. She always put me first.”

“Is she the reason you broke up with Elise?” Gabriel guessed.

Adrien nodded, his smile turning melancholy. “Elise was really great, but I couldn’t keep lying and stringing her along when I was in love with Marinette. She deserved better than that.”

“…Is Miss Dupain-Cheng the reason you’re upset?” Gabriel hesitantly inquired.

Adrien choked on an unexpected sob and nodded, curling up to rest his forehead on his knees, shielding his face with his arms.

Gabriel took a deep breath and reached out to rest a hand on Adrien’s back. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Did something in particular happen, or do you not want to talk about it?”

It took Adrien almost a full minute to regain his composure enough to answer. “I…It’s complicated,” Adrien sighed, wishing he could just tell someone the truth and get some advice besides Plagg’s on the matter. “I can’t really explain. Tonight, I…” Adrien bit the side of his cheek, ordering his thoughts before trying again. “She told me…” He pursed his lips. “Well, she didn’t exactly tell  _me_ …”

Adrien sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head on his knees once more. “This sucks. This really, really sucks. My whole life is falling apart, and I can’t even ask for help. I’m drowning, and I can’t call for help.”

“Adrien.” Gabriel moved his hand to grip Adrien’s upper arm firmly. “Just tell me. You can tell me anything. I realize that I have not been there for you in the ways you needed me to in the past, but I am your father, and I will do everything in my power to make it better. You know I’d do anything to ensure your happiness. I will fix this for you.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think this is something that you can fix,” Adrien sighed.

“Then I’ll have Nathalie come up with some way to fix it,” Gabriel declared. “She’s more of the problem solver anyway. Adrien, I promise you that the three of us will make this better together, so please just tell me what happened that made you so upset.”

Adrien bit his lip, worrying at it with his teeth as he weighed his options.

“You don’t have to go through this alone,” Gabriel urged.

Adrien could either keep struggling in vain on his own…or he could put his father in danger and finally get some help from an actual adult. He could also wait and talk to Nathalie who already knew about Chat Noir, but…

He looked at his father, and his heart clenched. His father was finally trying to be there for him. His father was stepping up and trying to act like a real dad at last, and…maybe Gabriel would do this more often if he knew the truth. Maybe he’d put in more of an effort if he knew how often Adrien was in danger. Gabriel always seemed more attentive after Adrien got caught up in an akuma attack, so…

Or Adrien could just end up grounded and putting his father in danger for no reason, but Nathalie had known for two years, and nothing bad had happened to her, so…

“Can I tell you a secret?” Adrien wondered. “Like, a really massive secret that you can’t tell anyone ever?”

“Adrien, I would dispose of a body for you,” Gabriel snorted. “Just tell me.”

Adrien chuckled at that, wiping away his tears and grinning. “Would you really?”

“Yes,” Gabriel replied flatly, losing patience.

“And not just because it would be bad for the company if people knew I’d killed someone?” Adrien pressed.

Gabriel openly gawked at his son. “What have I done to give you the impression that my work is more important to me than you are?”

Adrien shrugged. “Which do you spend more time on?”

Gabriel opened his mouth to retort, but when he really thought about it, his face fell. He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked away. “I…am going to have to sit down and go over my schedule with Nathalie.”

“If you could maybe have a meal with me once a week, that would be good. And maybe we could have a movie night or a game night once a month?” Adrien hesitantly suggested, not truly daring to hope.

Gabriel frowned incredulously. “That’s really all you want?”

Adrien shook his head and averted his gaze. “No, but that’s more than what I get now.”

Suddenly Gabriel felt cold. Did he really spend so little time with his son? He searched his memories for a recent instance of them spending time together but came up woefully short.

He gulped. “Perhaps…I have been busier than I realized.”

Perhaps, in his struggle to bring back Adrien’s mother, Gabriel had taken away Adrien’s father as well.

“I’m…sorry.”

Adrien made a noncommittal noise, unable to think of anything else to say.

“I _will_ sit down with Nathalie and take a look at my schedule,” Gabriel promised, firmly intending to wake Nathalie up to do so as soon as Adrien had finished speaking with him and he was certain that his son was going to be all right.

“I’d appreciate that,” Adrien mumbled.

Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek. “…You were talking about a secret?”

Adrien nodded. “The problem with Marinette only makes sense if you know a secret. I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone…and not to ground me.”

Plagg phased through the nightstand, into the floor, through the couch, and into Adrien’s pocket to nudge his chosen insistently.

Adrien ignored his kwami.

Gabriel frowned. “Why would I ground you?”

“Trust me. You’re going to want to lock me up in a padded room where nothing can ever hurt me,” Adrien sighed. “Promise not to tell and not to ground me.”

Plagg pinched Adrien, but Adrien disregarded the warning.

Gabriel inhaled slowly and then let the breath go with a nod. “All right. I promise never to tell a soul your secret and not to ground you because of it.”

Adrien took a breath.

Plagg sank his claws into Adrien’s side.

“I’m Chat Noir.”

Gabriel’s hearing faded out. “W-What?” His ears were ringing.

“I’m Chat Noir,” Adrien repeated, reaching into his pocket and extracting Plagg. “Plagg, stop using me as a scratching post.”

“Kid, get away from him!” Plagg yowled, phasing through Adrien’s hand to put himself between Adrien and Gabriel. He bared his fangs at Gabriel, snarling in an attempt to intimidate. “You lay one finger on my kitten, and I will break you down into molecules.”

“Plagg!” Adrien gasped, grabbing his kwami and pulling him away from his father. “He’s my father; he’s not going to hurt me.”

“Kid, you don’t understand,” Plagg hissed. “You need to get out of here!”

“…Plagg—was it?” Gabriel finally found his voice as he looked down at what was undeniably a black cat kwami in his son’s hands.

Plagg gave another hiss.

“I would _never_ knowingly hurt my son,” Gabriel assured even as the room spun. “Your fears are unfounded.”

“Ha,” Plagg laughed mirthlessly. “I’ve watched you hurt him over and over again for four years now. I don’t trust _you_.”

It gave Plagg a keen sense of satisfaction to see Gabriel’s look of utter horror at the accusation.

“Plagg, seriously,” Adrien groaned, turning to his father. “I’m really sorry about him. He’s not always like this. This is Plagg, the entity that gives me powers. He’s called a kwami…so…Plagg, this is my father. Father, this is Plagg.”

“Enchanted,” Gabriel mumbled.

“Ha!” Plagg laughed again.

“I’m sorry. I think I’m about to be ill,” Gabriel gasped as his face lost all color. He leaned forward so that his head was between his knees and began to take deep breaths.

Plagg’s eyes widened. “This…was not the reaction I was expecting.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “And what were you expecting? You know how much he loves me. I’m _his_ kitten too, Plagg, and now he has to process all the times I’ve almost died the past four years. How were you expecting him to react?”

“…With maniacal laughter,” Plagg mumbled.

Adrien gave Plagg a quizzical look. “Okay, I know you don’t like him, but he’s not evil.”

Plagg hummed softly.

“Oh my God,” Gabriel gasped, looking up at Adrien in dismay. “You’ve died before. You’ve been dead. I’ve _lost_ you any number of times.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien made a lame attempt at comfort. “Ladybug always fixes things.”

“Adrien, what if Papillon wins?” Gabriel demanded. “What if he wins and you stay dead and I lose you for good?”

“I told you you were going to want to ground me,” Adrien sighed. “Father, it’s fine.”

“This is not fine! Nothing about this is fine!” Gabriel shrieked, shocking Adrien into silence. He had never seen his father lose his composure like that before.

Gabriel straightened and held out his palm resolutely. “Adrien, this cannot go on. I will not let you continue to put yourself at risk like this. I will not stand by and let you be thrown into the sides of buildings and wiped out of existence and beat up by monsters. Give me your ring.”

Plagg bristled, flying up into the space between Adrien and Gabriel once more. “Over my dead body,” he growled.

“Plagg,” Adrien sighed, gently pulling his kwami out of the way. “Thank you, but I’ve got this.”

Plagg snorted. “Don’t trust him, Kid.”

“Father?” Adrien looked Gabriel straight in the eye. “No. I know you’re only doing this because you love me and don’t want me to get hurt, but I have a job to do. I promised to protect Paris and Ladybug, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Adrien, please don’t be stubborn,” Gabriel sighed, face hardening in determination. “Give me the ring. Don’t make me take it from you.”

Adrien snorted at that, holding out his right hand. “Take it if you can.”

Gabriel frowned, looking unsure for a moment before reaching out and attempting to pull the ring from his son’s finger.

It didn’t come off.

“It’s stuck,” Gabriel observed, yanking harder.

The ring didn’t even budge.

Adrien retracted his hand and easily slid the ring up and down his finger without fully taking it off. “It doesn’t come off without my say so.”

The furrows in Gabriel’s brow deepened as he watched the ring intently. “How is that even possible?”

“Magic and many, many hours of practice,” Adrien chuckled. “I got locked in a freezer once. It was when my friend Alya was akumatized. Lady Wifi. The ring went flying off my finger and slid under one of the shelving units. I nearly got hypothermia before I could get it back on again, and from that day forward I started working on developing control over my powers so nothing like that would ever happen again.”

“So…the ring won’t come off,” Gabriel verbalized.

“Correct,” Plagg snickered.

“Not even when you’re asleep?” Gabriel tried.

Adrien shook his head. “I’ve actually tried that, in case you were wondering.”

Gabriel’s face fell.

Silence came between them.

Adrien mercifully allowed his father the time Gabriel needed to process the revelation.

“…So…” Gabriel pursed his lips. “My son is Chat Noir.”

“Yes,” Adrien confirmed softly.

“And there’s nothing I can do to get you to stop,” Gabriel sighed, knowing the answer. Adrien was Emilie’s son after all.

“No, Father.” Adrien shook his head, smiling apologetically.

“And I can’t take the ring from you.” Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and frowned interrogatively. “You have to take it off sometimes.”

Adrien snickered. “Physically taking the ring doesn’t equate taking the ring away. I don’t have to be wearing the ring to use it to transform anymore. It doesn’t even have to be in the same room as I am.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not possible. Ladybug’s transformation has begun to fade as soon as one of her earrings was removed. How can you keep up a transformation without physical contact with your Miraculous?”

“Determination and hours of practice.” Adrien shrugged. “I’ve had four years and a lot of incentive to get good at this.”

Gabriel sighed in defeat, hanging his head. “So…there’s no way I can stop you.”

“No, Father,” Adrien assured gently. “I’m afraid you can’t win this one.”

The words hit Gabriel hard, and he buried his face in his hands. “No. I suppose I can’t…. You win, Adrien.”

Adrien reached out to rest a supportive hand on his father’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you.”

Abruptly, Gabriel sat up and fixed Adrien with a deathly serious expression. “Adrien, there’s something you need to know, something I have to tell you.”

Adrien tipped his head to the side. “What is it, Father?”

If Gabriel could make Adrien understand, if he could persuade Adrien over to his side, if Adrien knew _why_ Gabriel was doing this…

Behind Adrien, Plagg mouthed the word, “NO” as he waved his arms and shook his head frantically. The kwami glared in a way that clearly said, “Don’t you dare tell him. You will break his heart”.

Gabriel sighed, well and truly giving up. “I love you, Adrien.”

“I love you too, Father,” Adrien chuckled giddily, wrapping an arm around Gabriel for a side hug which Gabriel returned.

“I’m sorry, Son,” Gabriel whispered.

Adrien shook his head and slowly pulled back. “Don’t be.”

Gabriel let out a massive sigh and shook his head. “Okay. There was a reason that you told me about Chat Noir. Something to do with Miss Dupain-Cheng and why you’re upset?”

“Right,” Adrien sighed, getting back on task. “Marinette and I are friends…. I mean, she’s friends with Chat Noir too.”

“Obviously, she doesn’t know…correct?” Gabriel inferred.

Adrien shook his head. “I’m pretty sure she’d flip. So…I go and visit her sometimes as Chat Noir.” Adrien winced, waiting for his father’s explosion of outrage.

Gabriel, unexpectedly, laughed, somehow finding humor in the situation. “You use your powers to sneak out of the house to see girls?”

“Just the one,” Adrien insisted. “Only Marinette, and this was before I fell in love with her. We’ve been hanging out as friends for around two years, but I only realized how I felt about her not even two months ago.”

“Adrien, I think you’ve been interested longer than two months if you’ve been sneaking out to woo her in a leather cat suit for two years now,” Gabriel teased.

Adrien’s face went cherry blossom pink. “I wasn’t wooing her…actively.”

“I see,” Gabriel replied in a tone that suggested he was calling Adrien’s bluff.

“He brings her presents all the time and calls her his princess,” Plagg snickered, taking a seat on the back of the couch in between Gabriel and Adrien. “You should see the way they flirt. It’s disgusting.”

“Plagg, you are not helping,” Adrien hissed, glaring at his traitorous kwami.

Plagg shrugged. “Helping you is not my job in this instance.” He turned to Gabriel. “They were bad enough when they were only play-flirting. Nowadays, the hormones in the air are enough to asphyxiate. Tonight, I was afraid they were finally going to—”

“—Plagg!” Adrien yelped.

“Adrien, it’s rude to interrupt others,” Gabriel scolded gently. “Let Plagg continue.”

“I told her I was in love with her,” Adrien blurted out, ripping off the bandage. “As Chat Noir. The flirting was getting really intense, and I told her I meant it all. I told her I loved her.”

A grave expression slowly sifted onto Gabriel’s face. “I’m guessing that the feeling wasn’t mutual,” he mumbled.

Tears returned to Adrien’s cheeks as he shook his head. “That’s just it. She said that she was interested…but that she could never be with me because there was someone else that she couldn’t get over. It would have been better if she had just said that she could only think of me as a friend, but she had to pull a Ladybug and tell me how important I was to her and be honest about her feelings.”

Gabriel placed a hand on Adrien’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“So…yeah. I’m a little crushed. A lot crushed. Devastated. Really devastated,” Adrien gulped, wiping at his eyes. “I feel like I’m stuck in this awful loop because I was just settling into the idea of a life with Marinette, and I was really excited about that. As excited as I had been about my imagined future life with Ladybug. Maybe even more so because I’m able to actually _know_ Marinette. She feels more real than Ladybug ever did, but…”

Adrien rested his forehead on his knees once more. “She doesn’t want me either, and now I’m never going to find true love and happiness. I’m going to die alone.”

“Adrien, you don’t know that.” Gabriel’s grip on Adrien’s shoulder tightened. “You can’t know that. After your mother…I never would have predicted that I would find Nathalie, but I did. You never know what fate has in store for you.”

Adrien shook his head. “I can’t fall in love a third time. My heart physically can’t take it. I’m too scared to even imagine it. I don’t even want to find somebody else. I just want Marinette.”

There was an oppressive silence as Gabriel wracked his brain for the right thing to say. He tried to think of what Nathalie would say.

“Wait. You’ve only confessed your feelings as Chat Noir, right?” Gabriel verified.

“That’s right.”

“Why are you giving up already when you haven’t told her how you feel as Adrien?”

“That’s what I told him,” Plagg snorted.

Adrien rolled his eyes. “There’s no way she wants Adrien if she turned Chat Noir down. She has seen the absolute worst sides of Adrien, and I would question her taste in men if she still wanted me after that. Chat Noir was my best chance, and she told me that there was someone else she couldn’t give up on, even if they couldn’t return her feelings. That sounds pretty hopeless to me.”

“But it’s not a one hundred percent certainty,” Gabriel remarked. “Adrien, promise me you won’t give in to utter despair until you tell her how you feel as Adrien. The worst thing she can say is no, and she might surprise you and say yes.”

“Or she could say no and tell me she doesn’t want to be friends anymore,” Adrien muttered.

“Adrien, if she has been such a steadfast friend these past three months, I don’t think she would end the relationship like that.”

“He’s got a point, Kid,” Plagg encouraged. “…And she might say yes.”

Adrien sighed, scrubbing at his face with his palms. “Ugh. Fine. Okay. Just…give me a bit to recover, and I’ll tell her.”

“Don’t keep yourself in suspense too long,” Gabriel warned.

“A week or two,” Adrien proposed. “It’ll be a week or two before I can face her.” Adrien’s cheeks flushed at the memory. “Tonight, after she told me no as Chat Noir, I might have kissed her and ran out.”

Gabriel sighed. “Adrien.”

“It wasn’t entirely unprompted,” Plagg added in Adrien’s defence. “It was like a soap opera. She was practically begging him to kiss her senseless…at least, that’s how it looked from my angle.”

“Oh?” Gabriel hummed in interest. “Well, she did say that if not for the other boy she would be interested in you. Ladybug told you no outright, didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Adrien muttered ruefully.

“But it sounds like Miss Dupain-Cheng is a definite ‘maybe’. I don’t know, Adrien. I wouldn’t spend another four years waiting, but if you don’t want to fall in love with anyone else anyway, it might behoove you to keep trying with Miss Dupain-Cheng. See how she reacts to Adrien’s confession, and then we’ll go from there, okay? This might not be hopeless after all,” Gabriel encouraged.

Adrien frowned, afraid to let himself believe it. “Do you really think so?”

“She said it herself that she had feelings for you, didn’t she?”

“She  _definitely_  has feelings for him,” Plagg snickered.

“And she’s not in a relationship with the other boy, so there’s still a chance. Apologize for your rash behavior, affirm your friendship, inform her that you will respect her wishes, but then reiterate your feelings for her,” Gabriel suggested.

Adrien slowly began to nod. “Okay. Yeah. That might…actually work. Okay.” He looked up at his father and laughed with a sheepish smile. “Thank you. This actually really helped. I’m glad that we talked…” Adrien pursed his lips and added tentatively, “and I’m glad that I told you.”

“I’m glad that you told me too,” Gabriel muttered with a worn-out smile. “I wish we had had this talk sooner. I…I would have… Things are going to get better, Adrien.”

Adrien shrugged. “If you’ll forgive me, I’ll believe you when things actually start to improve…. You cancel on me a lot, so I don’t like getting my hopes up, but the fact that we’re even having this conversation makes me really happy. I appreciate that you want to try. That you care enough that you want to try.”

“Stand up,” Gabriel sighed, standing himself.

Adrien arched an eyebrow but obediently got to his feet.

Gabriel pulled Adrien into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For all the ways I’ve hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien chuckled, squeezing his father in return. “I’m not perfect either.”

Gabriel snorted at that. “You’re good enough for me.”

Adrien gave a start and pulled back to look at his father in incredulity. “Really?”

Gabriel stared, horrified and flabbergasted. “Yes. Yes! God, I am such a failure. What have I been doing these past four years?”

Adrien shrugged. “Running a fashion empire and trying to deal with Mother leaving us?”

Gabriel sighed, hanging his head. “Adrien, are you doing better now? Are you going to be okay if I leave you, or do you need me to stay and talk about anything else? Because I need to go wake Nathalie up to go over my schedule and fix it so that it aligns with my actual priorities.”

Adrien laughed, giving Gabriel a pat on the back before breaking away. “I’m okay, Father. At least…I will be, I think. Please don’t wake Nathalie up. It can honestly wait until morning, but I appreciate the gesture. Thank you for talking to me.”

“Thank  _you_  for talking to  _me_ ,” Gabriel stressed. “Good night, Adrien.”

“Good night, Father.”

Plagg stared at the door hard after it had closed behind Gabriel. “Maybe…” he hummed. “Maybe this is going to be okay. Maybe this is good.”

“I think so,” Adrien chimed in as he turned off the light and went to pull down the covers. “Maybe things really will change for the better.”

“Maybe,” Plagg sighed, floating over to nestle himself into his pillow. “Just…don’t trust him too much, Kid. Don’t let your guard down just because he’s your father.”

Plagg certainly wasn’t going to be sleeping for the next few months as long as Gabriel and Adrien were in the same building together. Someone had to keep an eye on the unsuspecting kitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Adrien single-handedly defeats Papillon without even trying.
> 
> So. Thoughts?
> 
> Was Gabriel's awkwardness and discomfort apparent? Do you think his reactions were realistic? He's actually kind of in a state of shock.
> 
> For those of you who wanted Adrien to suffer, is this a good start? For those of you who didn't specifically want Adrien to suffer, did you enjoy the angst?
> 
> How was the conversation? I feel like there were clunky parts, but I feel like that might be realistic with these two since they're awkward and uncomfortable with each other, and they're not used to having this kind of conversation.
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys. I'll see you tomorrow!


	10. Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel makes some hard decisions...very rashly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings all! Welcome to Day Ten. Honestly, I thought we would be done at this point, but...here we are. As always, thank you to all of you who take the time to leave comments, and thanks so much to those who leave kudos and who have bookmarked this story.

“Nathalie?” Gabriel called softly, crawling across the bed to gently shake her arm.

She snapped awake. “Gabriel? Is Adrien okay? Does he need me?”

Gabriel shook his head. “I think Adrien is fine—at least, for now.  _I_  need you.”

Nathalie grabbed her glasses from the bedside table and sat up to face him. “Gabriel? What’s wrong?”

“Honestly? Everything,” he scoffed. “But we’re going to stay up all night trying to fix it.”

“You have a call with the board first thing in the morning,” she reminded.

“Cancel it. This is more important,” he decreed.

Nathalie stared at him. “Gabriel, are you feeling all right?”

“No. I feel physically ill. I am horrified at my actions and at the thought of what could have happened because of them. I am disappointed in myself and embarrassed at the shoddy job I’ve done as a father. I am upset. Upset for so many reasons,” Gabriel rattled off, shoulders shaking. “I am…lost.”

Nathalie sat trying to process his words for a minute before reaching out to place a hand on his cheek. “Gabriel, what happened?”

“Adrien is Chat Noir,” he choked.

Nathalie visibly paled as she drew in a sharp, quick breath. “How…How do you know that?”

Fear gripped her immediately. She had tried so hard to keep this knowledge from him, to keep Adrien safe.

“He told me!” Gabriel exclaimed in a panic. “Nathalie, this entire time I’ve been fighting my son. I could have killed him! I  _have_  killed him! I’ve sent armed assassins after him! I’ve had him electrocuted and frozen and drowned and beaten and bitten and stabbed and—”

“—Gabriel, enough,” Nathalie pleaded, pressing her finger to his lips. “Enough,” she whispered, her own lips following her fingertips. She took him into her arms and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Adrien is okay. He’s surprisingly resilient when it comes to issues of his own mortality. Admittedly, he does suffer from the occasional touch of anxiety, but that’s more social anxiety from not being exposed to others his own age as a child. When he has nightmares, it’s more about something happening to Ladybug than to himself.”

Gabriel laughed bitterly. “You knew. That’s why you always tried to keep me and my plans in check. That’s why you were always so insistent on not harming Ladybug and Chat Noir. You said it was because we couldn’t get their Miraculouses if they were wiped out of existence. You said we had to be careful not to damage the Miraculouses, but you were really just trying to protect Adrien. …Nathalie, _why_ didn’t you just tell me?” he sighed in exasperation.

“I honestly didn’t know what you would do,” she whispered, awaiting the expected backlash.

“What? You thought I would hurt my own son?” Gabriel scoffed, pulling away.

Nathalie rolled her eyes at the ludicrous suggestion. “No. I was never afraid you would  _physically_  harm Adrien.”

“Adrien’s kwami seemed to be concerned,” Gabriel grumbled.

“Plagg is very protective. He’s sort of adopted Adrien, and he doesn’t have a very high opinion of you. I think you two will get along, though. You’ll like Plagg. He grows on you,” Nathalie assured.

“I doubt  _I_  will grow on  _him_ ,” Gabriel hummed thoughtfully.

“That depends on what you do next…. What are we going to do next, Gabriel?” She looked at him with her clear blue eyes and waited patiently.

He sighed in exhaustion. It was a scary thing knowing someone would follow you into hell. As scary as it was comforting.

Gabriel reached up to his throat and took off his brooch. He pressed the Butterfly Miraculous into Nathalie’s palm. “Take this and hide it somewhere I will never find it so that I am never again tempted to use it.”

Nathalie’s fingers wrapped around the stone, feeling its weight and Gabriel’s warmth still on it. “Gabriel, are you sure?” 

“Yes. Don’t give me time to second guess myself, Nathalie,” Gabriel instructed. “Don’t give me time for regrets or time to change my mind. We have to do this. What other choice is there? I cannot fight my son. I can’t continue to put him at risk. I started this fight, in part, for his sake. It would all be pointless if I lost him along the way. Emilie wouldn’t want this. No matter how selfish she was, no matter how self-centered and self-serving, she _loved_ Adrien more than anything. She wouldn’t want to be brought back if the price was hurting Adrien.”

“…All right,” Nathalie sighed. “Okay. I’ll do what you ask. What else?”

Gabriel winced, screwing his eyes shut as he shakily requested, “Please wake up the doctors…and have them take Emilie off of life support.”

Nathalie gasped, the hand without the Miraculous flying to her mouth. “Gabriel,” she called softly, voice eerily steady, filled with false composure. “That’s not something you can undo. Are you sure you want to be making this decision right now when you’re upset?”

Gabriel shook his head, defeated. “If I’m giving up, I can’t do it by halves. I need to burn the bridges and make it impossible to go back…for Adrien. I’ve let this consume my life, rob my son of his father for too long…. No more. My wife has been dead for years; I just couldn’t admit it. It’s time to let go and focus on being the parent my son needs. I c-can’t fail him any longer, Nathalie. Please call the doctors.”

“Okay,” Nathalie agreed in a small voice. “I’ll go wake the doctors and hide the Miraculous.”

Gabriel nodded. “I’m going to go say goodbye. If you could give me fifteen minutes alone? Then, if you want…I know you two were some version of friends.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Nathalie whispered.

 

Three hours later, Gabriel and Nathalie sank into the cushions of the loveseat in the parlor, Gabriel resting his head on Nathalie’s shoulder.

They sat in silence for a good ten minutes.

“We should go to sleep. You’re tired,” Nathalie urged, giving his hand a squeeze.

Gabriel slowly shook his head and wiped away the last of the tears. “I still need my schedule reorganized. What kind of parent can’t even arrange to see his son five times a month? You know, that’s what he asked me for? A meal together every week and a game night or something once a month.”

“Okay,” Nathalie sighed, giving up on sleeping that night. “We’ll make it work. Shall we go to the office?”

Gabriel caught her wrist as she started to rise. “…Would you want to get married?”

Nathalie stared dumbly. “You…Yes. You’re just making all manner of rash decisions tonight, aren’t you?”

Gabriel shrugged. “I’ve reached the very depths of human suffering tonight, and I am, frankly, in shock. Now is the perfect time to make rash decisions. Humor me.”

Nathalie shook her head.

“Besides,” Gabriel continued. “I’ve wanted to marry you for a while now. It was just never appropriate with me still being legally married and you being my assistant.”

“I’m still your assistant,” Nathalie pointed out.

Gabriel shrugged away her logic. “It will be good publicity. _Everyone_ will be there for the wedding. We can get married, cause a scandal, and present a new bridal line into the bargain.”

“Joy,” Nathalie replied mirthlessly. “I’m looking forward to exactly none of those things.”

“Not even marrying me?” Gabriel pouted.

“I’m excited to be married to you. I am not excited for all the pomp and pictures the process will require.”

“That’s fair,” Gabriel allowed.

“I _will_ be excited to call my mother and tell her you’re finally marrying me, though,” Nathalie sighed, gathering her hair up and then letting it fall back around her shoulders. “Every month when I talk to her, she asks me if I’m still living in sin, and I think, ‘Mother, you have no idea’,” Nathalie chuckled, and Gabriel joined in softly.

Nathalie snuck a tentative glance at him. “You’re sure this is what you want, Gabriel?”

He nodded, leaning in to nuzzle her cheek. “I’m tired of living in limbo. You’ve been my wife in all but name for the past three years, and you’ve been Adrien’s mother for even longer. I think it’s time to make things official…move on.”

Nathalie nodded hesitantly. “So long as this is what you want.”

“I want you to feel comfortable telling me I’ve gone astray,” Gabriel muttered, pulling back to look her in the eye as he stroked her face. “I don’t want you to worry about staying in your place and not overstepping your bounds. I want you to have the right to tell Adrien, as his mother, the next time he needs you to inform him that he’s spiraling out of control.”

“Okay,” Nathalie whispered, leaning into Gabriel’s touch.

Gabriel paused, biting his lip as a thought dawned upon him. “Do you think Adrien will be okay with us getting married so soon after his mother?”

Nathalie openly laughed at the idea. “Gabriel, for the past year, at least once a month, Adrien has asked me some version of ‘has he proposed yet’ or ‘when are you two getting married’. Adrien will be every bit as excited as my mother.”

Gabriel’s ears, face, neck, and chest flushed. “Has he really been asking?”

“It’s become somewhat of a joke between us, only he’s not joking,” she admitted with a sigh of fond exasperation. “He’s concerned about complications giving him little brothers and sisters as my age inches up,” she scoffed.

“God,” Gabriel laughed, taken aback. “…Is that something you want? Children?”

Nathalie shrugged. “I already have Adrien. I wouldn’t be opposed, but…if Adrien wants a sibling again and you’d like another child… Adrien likes babies. He’s already volunteered to help with hypothetical siblings. I’m a little afraid that he’s going to realize that if he wants a baby, he could go and make his own.”

Gabriel shuddered. “I don’t know if I’m in any place to have another child…. After all, I’ve failed so spectacularly with the two I already have.”

Nathalie froze at the allusion to Gabriel and Emilie’s runaway first son. “It’s been a long time since you’ve mentioned him.”

Gabriel nodded. “Emilie was always more affected by his leaving than I was. Not talking about him has become more of a habit than anything. Maybe I should try to find Félix. Do you think Adrien would like to see his brother again?”

Nathalie nodded. “If you’d like…I have his contact information. He and his wife live down in Marseille…they have a two-year-old daughter.”

Gabriel inhaled slowly. “And here I was just thinking that I was too young to be a grandfather.”

“Adrien has pictures, if you want to see,” Nathalie offered. “He can go on about his niece for hours.”

Gabriel let out a long exhale. “This might be a bit much for right now. Let’s just focus on wedding planning…and rearranging my schedule. Shall we go to the office?” he proposed.

With a nod, Nathalie rose from her seat and led the way with Gabriel trailing behind.

“You know,” he remarked softly, “It’s oddly quiet all of the sudden.”

Nathalie quirked an eyebrow. “You think?”

He nodded. “These past four years, other people’s strong emotions have constantly been weighing down on me. Now they’re gone.” He touched self-consciously at the base of his throat. “It’s quiet.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Nathalie wondered, pausing to fall into step beside him. She linked their arms, slipping her hand into his.

He hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe not. It’s more peaceful…a little lonely, maybe. It’s been a long time since I was last alone in my own head.”

“Maybe this will be a good thing,” Nathalie proposed, hoping she was right.

“Yes…. Perhaps so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering, at this point, Nathalie is forty and Gabriel is forty-five.
> 
> I was a little unsure of how to characterize Gabriel in this chapter. I think he's the kind of person to bury his feelings and not show others that he's hurting, so I decided not to have him show too much emotion in this chapter, even with Nathalie. I think Gabriel will deal with how he's feeling mostly off screen and, in front of others, push forward, trying to distract himself from how he's feeling by keeping busy and focusing on the current goal. That's where I was coming from with his characterization. His rashness, particularly with Emilie, might be surprising, but I think Gabriel is the kind of man that would burn bridges and not give himself the possibility of looking back once he'd set his mind on something.
> 
> What did you guys think of his characterization? How about Nathalie? I even got to fit in a little bit about Félix. Maybe Félix and his family will show up later. I always want to bring them in, but I haven't managed it yet.
> 
> Well, hopefully you enjoyed today's installment. See you tomorrow!


	11. Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino and Marinette talk through some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry I've been slacking on replying to the comments. I don't have enough time after I get home from work to reply to all the comments and keep working on new chapters, so I'm kind of sacrificing interaction with the readers for generating new content. Thank you so much to everyone for the continued support!

Marinette set down her satchel on the café chair across from Nino’s with a heavy sigh. “Please tell me Adrien has spoken to you sometime in the last week and a half.”

“I’ve seen him every day this week, and he just texted me an hour ago. Why?” Nino asked so as not to let on that he already knew the answer.

“Okay. Good. So it’s just me, then.” Marinette sank into the remaining chair and grabbed Nino’s double espresso, taking a sip and making a disgusted face.

“Get your own, Cupcakes.” Nino stuck his tongue out, sliding his drink back to his side of the table.

She glanced over her shoulder at the crowd of people queueing at the counter.

“The line’s too long,” Marinette whined, propping her elbow up on the table and resting her cheek in her hand. She sighed softly. “…Adrien’s been avoiding me. He won’t answer my calls, and his responses to my texts have been super evasive. Whenever we have to be in the same room, he gets antsy and won’t meet my gaze. He runs out of class before I can get out a sentence. Do you know what’s up?”

She eyed him expectantly. 

Nino shifted uncomfortably, avoiding her eyes. “I’m not sure.”

“I know he was kind of down after the breakup with Elise,” Marinette continued, trying to talk it out as she took one of Nino’s napkins and began to tear it into increasingly slender strips. “but he started dating that Marie girl almost right away, and he didn’t seem like he was doing it out of desperation or anything. Do you know if they’re still dating? He hasn’t gone off the deep end again, has he? He’s not sleeping with anyone? Because it kind of feels like he’s done something he’s ashamed of and now he doesn’t feel like he can face me.”

She eyed Nino intently again, hoping for some window onto the problem.

Nino sighed, setting down his pencil and pushing his book on borderline personality disorder away. “Okay. Here’s the redacted version of what I know. Marie broke up with him last week because he couldn’t get her name right. He’s not dating anyone now, and he’s not sleeping with anyone to my knowledge. Actually, he’s been spending most of his time either with me or with his parents. It seems like things are going pretty well, so…I was actually going to ask you what the heck was going on. He won’t tell me what happened, just that he can’t be around you right now.”

“What?!” Marinette choked. “What?!”

Nino shrugged.

“What?!” Marinette repeated.

Nino shrugged harder. “That’s what he said.”

“Why?!” Marinette gaped in horror. “What did I do? The last time I saw him, we were watching anime and baking a cake together. In the un-redacted version, did he say why he couldn’t be around me?!”

“Cupcakes, I am just as lost as you,” Nino sighed. “Look. Did…I don’t know…something _happen_ between you two? Like…” Nino’s tanned skin darkened in a blush. “Did it maybe seem like he was trying to kiss you, or were you lying on top of him while you were snuggling watching a movie, or…something like that time on your balcony? Anything like that that would toe the line between friends and more than friends between you two?” Nino grasped at straws.

Marinette’s eyes went round as a furious blush spread like wildfire across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. “Adrien told you about that?”

Nino swiped off his hat to rub at his forehead with the back of his hand. “Yeah? He…was kind of messed up about it…but mostly about other things tied up with that night…. But there was some discussion of whether that counted as losing his virginity, so…”

“Out of curiosity, what was the verdict?” Marinette couldn’t help but ask.

Nino shrugged. “We decided he could count it if he wanted or not if he didn’t.”

Adrien had decided to count it unless he actually got the opportunity to lose his virginity with Marinette, but Nino didn’t think Marinette should know that.

“…Do you mind me asking what you were thinking that night? That could have gone so bad so quickly, Marinette,” Nino sighed.

Marinette shrugged, looking down at the napkin shreds and picking a few up to tie into knots. “He was a hot mess. I mean, he was kind of having a meltdown, Nino, and, originally, I was just trying to calm him down. I thought a head rub and some nuzzling and a few kisses would help because, I mean, you know how he is. It was all perfectly innocent. I didn’t even kiss him on the lips.”

Nino grunted for her to continue.

She chewed on her bottom lip. “I didn’t account for the fact that he’d be so sensitive. I mean, I’ve seen him make out with his girlfriends before—like, the full-on tonsil hockey—and it never seemed to affect him like that. I don’t know if he was just in a really bad place and that made him even more sensitive than normal, but…it was really a hair-trigger response, and…I had to decide whether to stop and make a big deal of it…or keep going and try to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal for me.”

She looked up guiltily as she confessed, “I know it was wrong to take advantage of him like that, but we were both hormonal messes, and it was kind of a power trip making him want me like that, and I thought…since we were both having a sucky night, at least one of us deserved some release, so…” She blushed, looking away. “I may not have been thinking too clearly in that moment. I know it’s not anatomically possible, but do you think girls can ‘think with their dicks’ too?”

Nino gave a soft chuckle at that. “I know girls with bigger balls than some guys. I’m gonna say girls can think with their dicks too…. Damn. Alya’s is probably bigger than mine.”

Marinette burst out laughing and had to clamp both hands over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

When she managed to calm down, she smiled nervously and hesitantly asked, “Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me these past two months for what happened between Adrien and me?”

Nino shook his head. “Nah. I try not to get too upset over the things you two do to each other. It messed with his head a little, but I honestly think it would have been worse if you’d stopped. It’s really not a big deal since it didn’t become a toxic, friends with benefits situation. Nothing like that has happened again, right?”

“No,” Marinette confirmed. “I mean, we snuggle and hug and just kind of affectionate stuff—like what I do with Alya—but we haven’t done anything like _that_ again.”

“And nothing else happened recently to cause Adrien’s sudden avoidance?” Nino sighed, removing his cap to scratch at his head. “You didn’t have a fight? You didn’t suddenly announce you were going to be dating anyone?”

Marinette shrugged, completely at a loss. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this tomorrow, though.”

“Oh?” Nino wondered if he wanted to know.

She smirked, and he briefly considered warning Adrien. “I’m going to ambush him and fix whatever this is. I’m going to get him to tell me what the problem is, and, if it’s my fault, I’ll apologize. If he thinks he’s done something unforgiveable again, I’ll remind him how much we love him.”

Nino gave an amused snort. “In laymen’s terms, you’re going to love and tolerate the tar out of him.”

“Exactly.” Marinette snapped, pointing a finger gun at Nino. “…Man, he’s a lot of work.”

“Is he worth it?” Nino wondered.

Marinette had to stop and consider this. “…Ask me again once I get back from ordering my drink.”

“Is he worth it?” Nino inquired again as Marinette returned with her mocha chai latte.

“His friendship? Yes,” Marinette responded confidently.

“Uh-oh. That’s a qualified answer if I’ve ever heard one,” Nino sighed. “His friendship is worth the work, but…?”

Marinette retook her place and leaned back to gaze up at the ceiling. “He’s a really sucky boyfriend. I’m thinking I dodged a bullet.”

Nino’s face plummeted.

“He was such a flake with her and not thoughtful or considerate or… I didn’t like the person he was as Elise’s boyfriend. Sure, he was a lot more stable and calmer and more emotionally and mentally healthy at that point, but…he’d do or say something, and I wouldn’t like him very much.” Marinette sat up and frowned at Nino.

“But at the same time, he was different when he was with me. With me…he was still that dorky, funny, kind, naïve, sweet guy that I’d originally fallen in love with. I don’t know. He was a total brat to Elise, but, with me, he was still _my_ Adrien, so…”

“Do you still love him?” Nino asked while they were at it, peeking into Pandora’s box.

Marinette smiled sadly and nodded. “He may not be the man I thought he was, and he may be broken in places, but there’s still so much to love about him. I’m disappointed in him, and sometimes he really makes me mad, but I can’t not forgive him, you know?”

Nino knew the feeling well. He sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “It’s those damn eyes of his. One look from those big, soulful, sad green eyes, and you just melt.”

Marinette nodded. “Or when he rests his head on my shoulder or smiles or gives me fabric or brings over a new type of weird Japanese candy to try together…when he texts me just to say he was thinking about me…” Marinette hung her head in resignation. “I really need to get over him.”

Nino bit his tongue. “Have you…considered telling him about your feelings?” he tentatively inquired. “Would it help to finally get it off your chest?”

Marinette shrugged and shook her head. “What’s the point? Even if he somehow did return my feelings, it’s not like we could be in a relationship. He was desperately in love with some girl for four years, and she’s absolutely wrecked him for anyone else. It’s going to be a while still before he’s in a good enough place to be able to be in a real relationship.”

“It sounds like you need to find someone else, then,” Nino gently informed, even though he knew it would kill Adrien to lose her. “Honestly, I love Adrien, but, as  _your_ friend, I don’t want to see you spend your life pining after him.”

Marinette nodded, staring down into her cup.

“…Can I talk to you about something?” she mumbled several minutes later.

“Shoot, but make sure you aim to kill, Cupcakes,” he responded with a shrug.

She pressed her lips together. “You know my one friend? Minou?”

“The sexy one or the cat that your neighbor feeds?” Nino snickered.

Marinette rolled her eyes and chuckled. “The sexy one.”

“I like this subject.” Nino leaned forward in interest. “What about your sexy friend Minou?”

Marinette’s expression sobered even as her cheeks took on a soft, pink hue. “He told me he loves me.”

Nino’s nose wrinkled. “Again? Geez. He was doing pretty well. What was that? Almost a year and a half he was able to respect your wishes and lay off?”

Marinette shook her head. “No, Nino. He told  _me_  he loves me…the  _other_  other me.”

Nino’s jaw went slack. “Ooooh. He told _Marinette_. Damn. The poor guy just can’t get over you. That’s…kind of sweet…in a really sad, tragic kind of way. What did you tell him?”

She looked down at her hands, muttering, “What I always tell him…except…I might have added that I was attracted to him too and that if not for the guy I like…I shouldn’t have told him that. I should have just stuck to the script because now he’s probably thinking he might have a chance, and…”

“Does he not have a chance?” Nino prompted and watched her squirm.

“He…I don’t know,” Marinette sighed in frustration, tugging on one of her pigtails. “He kissed me. It didn’t last long, but it was super intense. He kissed me, and then he ran, and I haven’t been able to get him out of my head for the past two weeks.”

“Uh-oh,” Nino snickered. “Sounds like, after four and a half years, he’s finally cracked you.”

“This is so not funny,” Marinette hissed.

“This is so, so funny,” Nino continued to laugh.

“Jerk,” Marinette spit without heat. “Why do I even talk to you?”

“Because Alya would kill you if she found out you’d been keeping Minou a dirty little secret all these years?” he reminded. “Because I’m the only one you can talk to about…you know. Both of you.”

Marinette balled up a fistful of napkin scraps and threw them at him. “You suck.”

“For a grand total of maybe two people.” Nino grinned toothily.

“Be serious?” Marinette pleaded with entreating eyes.

Nino nodded, swapping his smirk for a smile of compassion. “Cupcakes, go for it. If you’re interest in him and he’s interested in you, do it. Be honest about your situation with Adrien and what you can and can’t give Minou right now, and if he still wants to try a relationship, try a relationship.”

Marinette chewed thoughtfully on her lip. “But…how honest do I have to be?”

Nino shrugged. “Honest enough not to give him false expectations or lead him on.”

“I meant…” she lowered her voice. “Do I need to tell him about…the other me?”

“No, no, no,” Nino insisted, waving his arms vehemently. “Don’t do that. Bad idea. Just…not right now, anyway. Not yet. I mean, you don’t even know what’s going to happen between you. It could be over in a week. You don’t want to tell him and mess up your partnership over it. Wait until it looks like it’s getting serious. At that point, you two will owe it to each other to swap reveals, but…right now, just date him.”

“Just date him,” Marinette mumbled. “Okay. If… _When_  I see him again, I’ll apologize and tell him…that I want to give ‘us’ a chance.”

Nino nodded in support. “There you go. He’ll come back, Marinette. He’s probably crazy about you.”

“He sounded like it,” she chuckled, smiling softly and wrapping a bang around her finger. “I really am kind of excited. I’ve always wanted someone to love  _me_  like that, not just her…and now it’s happening.”

“I’m really happy for you, Marinette.” He reached across the table to pat her on the head. “You deserve to be cherished.”

“Thanks,” Marinette giggled, and then a puckish smirk slowly spread across her lips. “Okay. Enough of my relationship drama. Let’s talk about _your_ relationship drama. How about that pregnancy scare the other day?”

Nino rolled his eyes. “Alya was the only one scared. I knew there was a zero percent chance she was pregnant…unless she was cheating on me…which wasn’t a serious concern either. I am deathly serious about protection. I love her too much to put her in that position.”

“You’re seriously awesome, you know that?” Marinette chuckled. “But what if she was really pregnant? Would you be scared? I mean, we’re eighteen.”

Nino shrugged. “‘Concerned’ is a better word. I’d dig her out of a pile of rubble with my bare hands; what’s one unplanned pregnancy? We’d make it work. The timeline would be a little more accelerated than I’d originally planned, but I’m in this for the long haul, so…” Nino shrugged again. “She’s the one with the commitment issues.”

“She loves you too, Nino,” Marinette stressed.

“Oh, I know she does,” he chuckled. “There’s no doubt in my mind where I stand with her. She just hasn’t come to terms with it yet. But that’s okay. I can wait.”

Marinette nodded. “Some people are worth waiting for.”

The words no sooner left her lips than she wondered if Adrien was worth waiting for…if she herself was worth waiting for to Chat Noir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Nino. He's such a great character to have around to help manage the other characters. ^.^ I hope you enjoyed this installment. Next time is Marinette and Chat Noir.
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	12. Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat tries to fix things.  
> Marinette decides to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to Day Twelve. Sorry that I continue to focus on creating more content instead of replying to comments. I really do appreciate you guys taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I'm kind of banking on you caring about getting more chapters more than wanting to talk to me. ^.^; Thank you as well to those who have left kudos or bookmarked the story.
> 
> I'm currently working on Fifteen right now, and it's turning out to be Adrien and Nino, so it doesn't look like Elise will make her appearance until Sixteen at this point. Daily updates will continue at least until the fifteenth as of now, but I'll keep you posted if things change.

Later that night, Chat Noir landed on Marinette’s balcony as quietly as possible. He took a minute to rehearse his lines one final time. He inhaled deeply and slowly let the breath out before tentatively knocking on the skylight.

It took nearly a full minute for Marinette to respond, leaving Chat to fret as he listened to the frenzied thumps and bumps emanating from the room below.

What? Was she moving furniture or something?

Finally, the skylight flew open, and Marinette hit him like a bullet.

“Minou!” she gasped, throwing her arms around him and tucking her face into the crook of his neck as she tightened her embrace. “I was terrified you wouldn’t come back! I’m so happy to see you!” she trilled, laughing giddily.

She pulled back only to lean in once more, resting her forehead and nose against his, nuzzling him softly. “I missed you, Minou.”

“I missed _you_ , Goddess,” he whispered back, voice thick with relief, joy, and desire.

He closed his eyes, letting himself have the sweet smell of her oatmeal-strawberries-bakery scent and the warmth of his arms around her, the brush of her hair on his face.

She hummed happily, melting into him.

When he came back to himself, he realized he’d been holding her a touch too long and quickly put a bit more space between them, even though he kept hold of her forearms. “Sorry,” he hurriedly coughed in his embarrassment.

Marinette blinked, eyes coming back into focus. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry,” Chat apologized again. “I’m really sorry, Marinette. That’s what I came here to say.”

She blinked again, confusion supplanting her distracted expression. “You’re sorry? For what?”

Chat grimaced. “The other day. I’m really sorry that I kissed you like that and then ran off. It was wrong and really selfish and petulant of me, and I am so, so sorry. I never wanted our first kiss to be like that.”

“Minou,” Marinette cooed, stepping back into him, circling her arms around his waist. “It’s okay. I—”

“—It’s not okay, Marinette,” Chat insisted. “It hasn’t been okay for a long time, but I’m going to try to fix this. I swear I’m committed to putting the effort in. I’ll do better,” he promised as he gazed down into her cyanide blue eyes with an intensity that turned the last of her resolve to take things slowly to mush.

“Marinette, your friendship is everything to me, and I will do whatever you need me to do to make you feel comfortable around me. Whatever boundaries you need to set. Whatever rules you need me to follow, I’ll do it. I’m fully prepared to respect your wishes.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “But, Marinette, my feelings for you aren’t going to go away. When I love, I love with everything that I am,” he confessed.

Something in the back of Marinette’s mind (the very tiny part that had not already turned to goo) remarked that that phrasing “love with everything that I am” sounded oddly familiar.

“And I’m going to keep loving you, even if we can only be friends right now. Marinette, I know you have someone else in your heart at the moment, so you don’t feel like you can be with me, but I want you to know that I am always an option. I’m not going anywhere…unless…unless you don’t want me in your life anymore,” he finished, ears drooping, expression apprehensive as he awaited her response.

“I want you in my life always, Chat Noir,” Marinette whispered, leaning in to give him another nuzzle. “Chat, I’ve been thinking about everything for the past two weeks. I haven’t been able to stop…thinking about you,” she admitted, moving her arms so that her hands interlaced at the back of his neck.

He gulped. “Y-Yeah?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” she whispered in a way that implied so much more than he’d dared to hope for.

“Oh.” His stomach flipped even as his heart fluttered.

“And the truth is that I _am_ in love with someone else. I may never get over him completely, and I want him in my life. He’s my friend, so I’m going to keep spending time with him. I’m going to keep pining after him to some extent, but…”

Marinette took a steadying breath. “I know I can’t be with him. Even if he did return my feelings, I can’t be with him right now. He’s going through some stuff, and it’s made me see a really ugly side of him. He’s…” She choked.

Chat reached up to gently wipe away a tear.

“Thanks,” she sighed. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ve loved him for so long…it kind of hurts to let go, even if I know I can’t be with him for my own good…for the good of our friendship, but…”

Her eyes found his. “I really like you, Chat Noir. I like how I feel when I’m with you. I like our relationship the way it is, but…a part of me does want more with you, so…I want to think about giving us a chance.”

His breath caught in his throat. “R-Really? You actually mean that? Seriously?”

She nodded. “If you would really be okay dating a girl who’s in love with an emotional train wreck and can’t give you her entire heart because most of it belongs to someone else, I want to be with you, Chat Noir. I don’t know. It’s hardly fair to you, but think about it, okay?”

“I don’t need to think about it,” he laughed, giddiness overtaking him. “Yes. Yes, Marinette. Yes.”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Minou, seriously. This is huge, and I need you to really think about it. You’re agreeing to date a girl who’s emotionally cheating on you.”

He shook his head. “I’m agreeing to date the love of my life, the woman who saved me when I was feeling lost and hopeless and unloved. I’m agreeing to date the girl I’ve been pining after for what feels like an eternity. I know there are obstacles in the way of us having the relationship I want, but I’m ready to face those challenges with you. I’d walk through fire for you, My Goddess. I’m prepared to see this through until you realize you  _can_  love me as much as I love you.”

“You…” Marinette had had a very good argument. Where had it gone? She’d completely forgotten what she’d been about to say in the face of his bold declaration. “You should still think about it for a couple days at least,” she reiterated lamely.

He rolled his eyes and smirked. “If it makes you feel better, I will pretend to think it over for a few days before I come back and tell you the same thing.”

“Oh, Minou,” she sighed…and then her gaze got stuck on his lips.

He noticed and tentatively leaned in.

She followed at first before catching herself. She looked up into his eyes. “I really shouldn’t kiss you. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m in no state to—”

“—Marinette?” he cut her off.

“Hm?”

“Stop trying to be fair to me,” he breathed, nuzzling her nose. “Be selfish. I  _want_  you…” he moaned and then finished impishly, “…to be selfish.”

She kissed him.

It was all heat and tongues and teeth and longing. Unsure where to put hands. His tail wrapping around her thigh. Her fingers gripping his hair. Closer, closer. His claws on her back. Not close enough. Gasps as they fell back onto the deck chair. Renegotiating their position. Her leg hooked over his hips. There. There!

Barely noticing as the first flower pot met its end. Jolting apart as the second crashed to the balcony floor.

They blinked in tandem.

“Does your balcony have a poltergeist?”

“No,” Marinette sighed in exasperation. “That would be my personal guardian deity. Apparently, she thinks things are moving too fast between us.”

Chat blinked, more securely propping himself up on his elbows to look down at her. “Personal…guardian deity?”

Marinette bit her already kiss-bruised lip. “Uh…yeah. My version of your kwami…. It’s a Chinese thing.”

“Oh.” Chat considered this revelation briefly. “Okay.”

Marinette quirked an eyebrow. “Okay? You’re not going to challenge my assertion or ask questions or anything?”

Chat shrugged to the best of his ability from his position on top of her. “I’m wearing a magical leather cat suit. I fight manifestations of people’s negative emotions on a weekly basis. If you say you have a personal guardian deity, who am I to question you?”

“Oh,” Marinette replied simply, stunned at his easy acceptance. “I…I’ll introduce you to her someday. Maybe not soon, but…I have a lot of secrets, Chat Noir,” she confessed guiltily, “but I promise that I’ll tell you, so don’t be too mad at me when you find out, okay? There are a lot of things I want to tell you, things I need to tell you if ‘us’ is going to happen, but right now is a little…”

“Take your time, Princess,” he assured, giving her forehead a comforting nuzzle. “After all, I have secrets that I’m scared to tell you too.”

“Mm,” she hummed softly, going in for another kiss.

A third flower pot met its maker.

Marinette growled low in her throat. “Oh my God.” She turned her head to snap in the direction of the fallen flower pots. “I am eighteen, thank you! I am a mature, responsible young woman capable of making these kinds of decisions. If I want to make out with him, I’m going to make out with him, so you can get over it.”

She turned back to Chat and smiled weakly. “Sorry about her. The good news is there are only so many flower pots she can break. I’ll talk to her later.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. “I’m glad you have someone to look out for you when I can’t be with you…. One question, though. Does everyone have a personal guardian deity, or are you just special? I mean, I know you’re special, but…”

“Flirt.” She bopped his nose with her own. “I’m special in more ways than you’d ever guess…. Kiss me?”

Chat let his question go in favor of obliging her, long and slow, savoring the kiss instead of totally abandoning himself in the sweet oblivion of her lips like he had before.

The pace soon picked up again, and he had to force himself to pull away. “I—” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, turning his head when she tried to recapture his lips once more.

“I think we should stop.”

She let out a little vocal pout of displeasure.

“Before we go too far,” he explained, nuzzling her ear. “I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I won’t,” she whined.

“You might,” he challenged. “I know you, Marinette. I know you would never make out like this with someone you weren’t interested in like some despicable people with no self-worth do. I know you like me, but…”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t presume to tell you how you feel, but, from my point of view, it’s possible that you’re doing this for some of the wrong reasons. Maybe you’re feeling vulnerable or emotional because that other guy has been hurting you and letting you down. Maybe I seem like an escape from that. Maybe you’re going further than you normally would because this feels good and you don’t want to think about how you’re hurting, so you’re letting this happen, but…you shouldn’t do that. You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling bad about yourself. I don’t want you feeling bad about this. I don’t want you feeling like you used me.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” she realized, eyes widening.

“The worst month and a half of my life,” Chat sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Her eyelids fluttered in surprise at the abrupt apology.

“For…kissing other people,” he muttered, cheeks flaming in his shame. “I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I feel like…I’m not good enough for you anymore, and I’m sorry I’m not good enough.”

“Minou, no,” she sighed, taking his face in her hands. “You’re fine. You’re perfect. I don’t own your past, and I can’t judge you for it. I know you’re a good man, and I know that I can trust you going forward. I may not like the fact that you’ve kissed other girls, but I can accept it.”

He wondered if she could still accept it if she knew how many.

“Stop,” she decreed. “You’re thinking too much.”

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I just have a lot of regrets, a lot of things I’m not proud of…. I wish I had fallen for you first. I wish I’d fallen for you when we’d met.”

“Things might not have been better,” Marinette sighed knowingly. “I might have been just as bad as Ladybug. I’ve been in love with that other guy for four and a half years now…. How long have I known you?”

“Four and a half years,” he chuckled ruefully. “Sounds like even then I would have been too late.”

“It’s okay, Minou. Things are fine this way, so please don’t feel bad. After all, I’m not perfect either, and there are a lot of things I feel like I need to apologize to you for too,” she confessed.

He snorted in disbelief.

“You’ll understand when I tell you,” she assured. “I’m not looking forward to those conversations.”

He perked up slightly. “I like the way you talk about the future…as if there’s an ‘us’ in the future.”

“Chat Noir, I want there to be,” Marinette chuckled. “I want this to work. I want to be able to give you my heart and have you forgive me for keeping secrets. I want to move on and find happiness with you. I want ‘us’, even if I’m not emotionally healthy enough to be ‘us’ right now.”

“Thank God it’s not just me,” he choked, burying his face in her neck. “It’s really devastating to want something so much only to be told no no matter how long you pray and wait and try to deserve it. You have no idea how much I needed someone to finally tell me yes, to say I was good enough, even though I don’t feel good enough.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around him and squeezed hard, tears coming to her own eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that she hurt you like that, Minou. I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to you, but I’m going to try, okay? If you’ll let me, I’m going to try.”

He chuckled as he turned his head to kiss her neck and then pushed himself back up. “You already have. Just you telling me yes was enough. Marinette, I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.”

He opened his mouth to say something else but then paused, second-guessing. “May I tell you I love you?”

She gave a start, taken aback. “Of course,” she assured. “Why do you think you need to ask permission?”

He smiled sadly. “I don’t want to seem like I’m pressuring you, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I know you can’t say it back…at least, not in the way that I mean it.”

“Oh, Minou,” she cooed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s enough that you  _want_  to love me. It’s enough that you’re giving me a chance,” he assured.

“I know it’s not what you want, but I do love you,” Marinette mumbled. “You’re so precious to me…and I am falling in love with you…if you’ll be patient with me?”

“Whatever you need,” he promised, “but…in the meantime, please go out with me. Please let me be yours, even if you can’t be mine yet,” he pleaded.

“Yes,” she laughed giddily, pressing a kiss to his nose.

“God, I love you,” he sighed, pressing kiss after kiss to her forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, and throat.

“I never want to kiss anyone other than you ever again,” Chat whispered. “I’ve kissed people I haven’t cared about before, and, while it felt good physically, it never felt good mentally afterwards. I never want to go back to that. If I can’t kiss you, Marinette, I don’t want to kiss anyone.”

“Then it’s a good thing you can kiss me as much as you want,” she giggled, gazing longingly into his eyes. “Kiss me again? Just a little bit longer.”

Chat went against his better judgment and acquiesced, praying that she didn’t change her mind come morning. “As My Goddess desires.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a Marichat writer at heart, despite this being an Adrienette-centric story.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter with the making out and the sappy talking and Tikki trying to intervene without being able to scream, "He's Adrien!". I thought that they should get the chance to be happy for a few hours before we hit the next road-bump...which is scheduled for next chapter.
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	13. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien have a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm trying to catch up on replies to comments a bit. Thank you for your patience with that, and thank you to those of you who are still following along and commenting anyway, even though I haven't gotten around to replying to your previous comments yet. Thank you as well to everyone leaving kudos and bookmarking this story. That's really appreciated too.
> 
> And with that said, sorry for what I'm about to do.

“We thought we were going to have to drag you out of bed,” Gabriel snorted as Adrien walked into the grand dining room, bypassed the formal table, and made his way over to the sitting area with the loveseat, coffee table, and armchairs where Gabriel and Nathalie were sharing a light breakfast.

“Good Morning, Father, Nathalie.” Adrien tried to hold in a yawn as he did a happy twirl and sank into one of the armchairs. “I apologize for being late to breakfast.”

“He kept hitting the snooze button. I had to take the phone away from him so he’d get up,” Plagg scoffed, settling down on the coffee table next to the small plate of cheeses. “If he hadn’t been out so late snogging with his _girlfriend_ …”

Gabriel arched an eyebrow, not sure what to make of Plagg’s comment. “I take it last night’s apology went well, then?”

Adrien smiled sheepishly, lightly fingering the bruise on his neck barely covered by his shirt collar. “Last night went perfect. I have a girlfriend!”

“You’ve had girlfriends before,” Nathalie snickered into her coffee as she gave Adrien a hard time.

“I finally have the girlfriend I want!” Adrien amended with a giddy laugh, unable to contain his euphoria any longer.

“Congratulations,” Nathalie conceded with a pleased grin as she reached out to pat Adrien on the knee.

“I’m happy that you’re happy, Adrien,” Gabriel added, pouring another cup of coffee and passing it to his son.

“Thank you. Thanks. She’s so wonderful; I can’t believe my luck that this perfect girl has agreed to date me,” he sighed deliriously, causing both Nathalie and Gabriel to smile knowingly.

As Adrien leaned forward to accept the coffee cup from Gabriel, Adrien’s shirt collar shifted, exposing the passionate desolation Marinette had wrought down Adrien’s neck.

“Oh my goodness,” Nathalie sighed. “Look at your collarbone.”

Adrien’s hand flew to his neck, and he smiled proudly even as he blushed. “Is it that noticeable?”

“Come here.” Nathalie shook her head.

He bared his throat to her obediently, pulling the neckline of the shirt down with a finger.

“That’s kind of impressive.” Gabriel looked on with a bemused smile. “Miss Dupain-Cheng has a good sense of aesthetics and balance even in this medium. She should have signed you.”

Adrien cleared his throat and tugged the neckline a little lower to reveal a simplistic M on his chest above his heart.

Gabriel laughed. “Weren’t you wearing your suit? How did she even get at your chest?”

“The suit has a zipper…with a bell she apparently likes to play with.” Adrien blushed, still not entirely sure if he felt comfortable having this kind of conversation with his father, despite the fact that Gabriel had recently been abducted by aliens and replaced with a father like the one Adrien had always wanted.

“Fair enough,” Gabriel allowed, wondering if Miss Dupain-Cheng had any similar souvenirs from the previous night and if his son was remembering to be safe and making mature decisions while in his love-addled state.

“You can’t go out of the house like that,” Nathalie decreed, finishing her inspection. “You look positively debauched.”

Debauched. Marinette had debauched him. Adrien smirked, liking the sound of that. “It’s just a love bite. My first one too, and I’m actually rather fond of it.”

“Your fans are going to riot. Perhaps it would be prudent to be discrete,” Gabriel suggested.

“It wouldn’t be decent to go out like that,” Nathalie added, informing, “You’re only allowed to look like you’ve been ravished for photoshoots.”

Gabriel frowned deeply. “Just what kind of photoshoots do you imagine him doing?”

She rolled her eyes. “Gabriel, he is eighteen, and you’re still treating him like a child. Adrien is a very attractive young man. It would only be natural for him to start doing more mature poses to capitalize on his growing sex appeal.”

Adrien wrinkled his nose. “Nothing too sexy. I have the most magnificent girlfriend on the face of the earth, and she sees the magazines that I’m in. I don’t want to cause misunderstandings.”

“I am uncomfortable with the fact that my child is no longer a child,” Gabriel announced, sounding as if he had not realized the truth in that statement until just then.

Nathalie patted Gabriel on the arm and slipped her hand into his before turning back to Adrien. “Chat Noir is the one dating Miss Dupain-Cheng, correct?”

“That’s right,” Adrien confirmed, sitting back in the armchair and taking a sip from his coffee cup.

“And you didn’t tell her your identity?” Nathalie verified.

Adrien shook his head. “Not…yet. It didn’t seem like a good time what with…all the… Soon, though.”

Nathalie nodded. “Well, in the meantime, it might be a good idea for her not to see Adrien with bruises that she gave to someone else. It might give away your identity or cause misunderstandings.”

Adrien blinked, fingering his neck once more. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I didn’t think you had,” Nathalie chuckled. “You obviously have other things on your mind.”

Adrien laughed happily, blushing anew. “Yep.”

“I’ll help you find a shirt or a scarf that hides the evidence after breakfast,” Nathalie offered, her normally impassive face shifting into an easy smile which was becoming more common in the past weeks. “You do remember that you have a brunch meeting today at ten-thirty, right?”

Adrien nodded. “With the designer that won that last competition, right? To go over details for the shoot?”

“That’s correct. You’re meeting her at Angelina across from the Tuileries.”

“That will be nice,” Gabriel hummed. “Maybe the two of you could go for a walk afterwards. If I remember correctly, your schedule is open until this evening.”

Adrien shrugged. “I’d rather just talk business with the designer at the restaurant and be done. I’d kind of like to go see Marinette today as Adrien, so, if it’s all the same, I think I’ll skip the walk.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a funny look.

“I don’t believe that Adrien has spoken with Miss Dupain-Cheng in the past two weeks,” Nathalie informed, elucidating the matter. “If I remember correctly, you were avoiding her after the incident with Chat Noir?”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed. “I really need to go and apologize for being such a flake.”

“Well, hurry and eat a little something to tide you over until brunch, and we can have you on your way,” Nathalie urged.

“Which designer won the competition?” Plagg wondered, picking up on the fact that Nathalie and Gabriel knew something that Adrien didn’t.

“A last-minute entry,” Gabriel chuckled. “We expect great things from her. Now, finish your cheese, Plagg.”

“ _Oooh_ ,” Plagg trilled. “I see. Don’t have to tell me twice.”

 

Adrien checked his phone for the time once more. The designer was seven minutes late, and Adrien was slowly losing patience. He really wanted to get out of this restaurant and see his girlfriend. Chat Noir’s girlfriend.

Shoot. It was going to be really, really hard not to kiss her.

His fingers drummed an impatient rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat on the tabletop as he considered texting Marinette. He eventually decided against it. It would be better to see her in person.

“I feel like it’s been two whole weeks since I’ve seen the sun. Adrien Agreste, where have you been?”

Adrien turned to see Marinette herself in the cutest skirt and blouse coming up behind him. He stood and nearly tripped on his chair in his haste. “M-Marinette,” he breathed reverently, unable to keep a radiant smile from lighting up his face and the rest of the room.

“Ah, there’s the sun,” she chuckled, leaning in for the customary bise. “I missed you.”

“Not as much as I missed you,” he assured. She had no way of knowing how hard he had pined for her during their week-and-a-half-long separation, despite the fact that it had been his own doing. She had no way of knowing how he had missed her as he lay in bed the previous night, how he had woken up missing her.

“I was just thinking about you,” he confessed. “What are you doing here?”

She snickered, and realization hit him.

“You’re the designer that won the last competition. You didn’t tell me,” he pouted.

“I would have told you if you hadn’t been screening my calls.” She rolled her eyes and walked around him to the empty chair.

He rushed to pull it out for her.

“I was just really busy,” he explained lamely.

She rolled her eyes again, not buying it.

“…I’m sorry,” he added. “I was going to drop by the bakery today after this meeting and try to make up for neglecting you the past two weeks.”

Marinette shrugged. “Mmhm.”

“I seriously was,” he insisted. “I’m finally free for a decent chunk of time this afternoon, so…I really have been busy.”

She smiled knowingly. “Adrien, you’re always busy, but even during Fashion Week you make time to take my calls.”

“I…” Words failed him as his neck and cheeks began to redden. “I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sorry for being late,” she relented. “I didn’t want to arrive first and risk you seeing me and bolting.”

He frowned. “I would never stand you up, Marinette.”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how bad you wanted to avoid me, so I thought it was safer just to arrive a little late and ambush you. I don’t actually need to talk to you about the shoot, by the way. I already went over all the details with Nathalie. I had to actually get down on my knees and beg her to help me set you up, by the way. She’s surprisingly loyal.”

Adrien blinked. “Literally get down on your knees?”

“Literally,” Marinette assured. “So let’s get down to business. Why have you been avoiding me the past two weeks? What did I do? Please tell me so I can fix it.”

Adrien blanched. “Nothing. It wasn’t anything that you did, Marinette.”

She sighed. “Okay. Then what did _you_ do that made you too ashamed to show your face?”

Adrien’s heart stopped beating. He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out.

“Is this about Marie?” Marinette guessed. “I have to confess, I am a little disappointed that you got another girlfriend so soon after things went south with Elise. I thought you would maybe take a break for a while, but—”

“—Marie was the one who approached me,” Adrien blurted out in his own defence. “And I told her no. I told her I was in love with someone else, but she said that was okay and that she just wanted a casual relationship, someone to hang out with. I told her no, but she kept asking and asking and asking, so I…”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I just gave in and gave her what she wanted because I still haven’t learned my lesson about setting boundaries, but I told her that I wouldn’t be doing anything physical with her. I told her we’d just be hanging out like friends, and she said okay…but then she’d hold my hand while we were walking or put her hand on my thigh or try to seduce me…” He looked down at the table.

“And you didn’t break it off why?” Marinette groaned.

“I felt bad for her,” Adrien muttered. “I told her again that I wasn’t interested in that because I was in love with someone else, but…I didn’t have the heart to just break up with her. She obviously really liked me and…I don’t know. Maybe she thought that she could change my mind, but… Eventually she got the idea when I couldn’t stop calling her ‘Marinette’, and she broke up with me. I should have just kept telling her no. I never should have agreed to something I knew wasn’t going to end well, but she was so persistent, and I really suck at telling people no, especially when they’re so earnest.”

He looked up and met Marinette’s gaze. “It wasn’t like Elise, though. You can be disappointed that I didn’t have the backbone to say no when I should have, but I didn’t do anything to be ashamed of. I didn’t lead her on. I didn’t lie to her. I may still be a screwup, Marinette, but I am getting better…painfully slowly.”

Marinette nodded. “Okay. Okay…just…promise me you’ll learn from this?”

“I will,” he swore.

“It kind of sounds to me like you shouldn’t be dating anyone right now,” she sighed.

“Don’t worry,” he laughed. “I don’t plan on dating anyone else for the foreseeable future.”

 _“Besides you,”_ he mentally added.

“So…if you didn’t do something you were ashamed of, and I didn’t do anything to make you upset with me, why have you been avoiding me the past two weeks, Adrien?” She looked at him pointedly.

His brain scrambled to cobble together a plausible lie, but, halfway through, decided that he couldn’t. He didn’t want to.

Adrien took a deep breath. “Marinette? I can’t lie to you anymore. You’re probably going to be surprised, and you’re most likely going to be upset with me. This is maybe going to take some getting used to, but…I just want you to remember that everything I said last night, everything I said two weeks ago when this all started, I meant with everything that I am.”

Everything that I am.

Marinette frowned. There was that oddly familiar phrase again.

She parted her lips to ask what he was talking about, but he continued before she could get the enquiry out.

“I did do something I was ashamed of,” he confessed. “And then I ran, and I was scared to face you. I didn’t have the courage to come back and apologize and try to fix things until last night.”

Marinette frowned, completely at a loss. She hadn’t seen Adrien in two weeks. What was he talking about?

“Princess,” he called softly. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t find the strength to tell you sooner.”

“Adrien, what—?”

He took her hand, entwining their fingers and leaning in to kiss each one as he had done the night when he’d first confessed. Once done, he looked up through his eyelashes at her, smiled adoringly, and whispered, “My Goddess.”

Marinette inhaled sharply, her face draining of color and contorting in panic. Her grip on his hand tightened reflexively.

“I’m sorry I was afraid to tell you it was me.” He squeezed her hand in return. “This is probably really weird when you’ve only ever thought of me as a friend, but…Marinette, I’ve been in love with you for a couple months now.”

She choked, still staring at him in shock.

He resolutely kept going. “You saved me during one of the blackest times in my life, and I fell stupid in love with you. You’re all I can think about sometimes. I know you said you can’t return my feelings right now because of that other guy, but…I hope me being Adrien doesn’t change what you said about wanting to love me back and starting to fall in love with me too. Will you keep being my girlfriend?”

Marinette finally found her voice. “No.”

The bottom dropped out of Adrien’s stomach. Black pinpricks started to punch holes in his vision. “N-No?”

“No. This cannot be happening,” she laughed hysterically, reaching across the table to pull off his scarf and tug down his collar to reveal an intricate pattern of bruises down his neck and collarbone, culminating in five delicate dots forming an M above his heart.

Marinette laughed harder. “Nonononononono.” She rested her head on the table.

Adrien watched helplessly, trying to keep breathing. He attempted to calm himself down by reasoning that Marinette was just surprised. Maybe ‘no’ didn’t really mean ‘no’ to him. Maybe it was a general ‘no’. Maybe, once she’d gotten used to the idea that he was Chat, she would apologize for scaring him like that, start calling him Minou and petting his hair, and then they could go make out on her balcony again.

“I need some air,” Marinette whispered, getting up abruptly and heading for the door.

Adrien rushed after her, pausing briefly only to throw down twenty euros on the table.

“Wait!” he called.

He caught up to her at the crosswalk, grabbing her as she almost walked out into traffic. He took her hand and guided her across the street to the Tuileries.

She didn’t protest. Once they were in the park, she tugged him along until they reached a quiet area by one of the ponds that felt strangely secluded in the middle of the busy park. She took a seat on a bench under one of the many trees sectioning off and shading the area.

Marinette let out a weary sigh, slouching forward, letting her head hang.

“You’re disappointed that it’s me,” Adrien mumbled.

“Yes,” she answered honestly without much feeling in her voice. “Four months ago I would have been ecstatic. Now…”

“Because I’ve been an ‘emotional Hindenburg’,” he sighed, rubbing at the bruise on his neck.

“Because you’ve shown me an exhaustive array of all the ways you can be childish and selfish and thoughtless and cruel,” she corrected. “I will always love you as your friend, Adrien, but these past few months…there have been times when I really didn’t like you much.”

“Oh.” Adrien struggled to swallow. His mouth was dry. It was getting harder to breath. “But…I’m…I’m getting better, aren’t I?” He looked away as tears began to leak from his eyes.

She nodded. “Yes, but…you’re still not there yet.”

“But I’m _getting_ there,” he pleaded. “Ladybug utterly wrecked me, Marinette. This hasn’t been easy. You’ve seen how hard this has been. I told you how much I was in love with her.”

Marinette winced as if she had been slapped. “I am so sorry, Adrien.” She was beginning to cry too.

“It’s not your fault,” he sighed, reaching for her hand.

She pulled it away. “No, it is, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s not, Marinette.”

She shook her head vehemently and turned to face him. “Adrien, it is _literally_ my fault.”

“Marin—”

“—Look at my earrings,” she insisted. “Adrien, have you ever once seen me without these earrings in the four and a half years you’ve known me? You haven’t. Because I _can’t_ take them off. The same way you can’t take off your ring.” She held his gaze unfailingly, even as tears steadily streamed down her face.

“Oh,” he breathed as it all clicked and he saw her, both of her.

She took his breath away and made him dizzy and deliriously happy and unspeakably afraid all at once. He was in more trouble than he had originally suspected because she had ruined him twice already, and he was very much eager to let her do it again.

“So…I’m guessing your ‘personal guardian deity’ is named Tikki, and this is what you meant when you said you’d introduce her to me later?”

Marinette nodded, her expression guilt-ridden.

“My Lady?” he whispered, gently cupping her face and brushing away the tears.

“Hi, Chaton,” she choked. “I am _so_ sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he insisted, desperate to make her tears stop.

A part of him knew he should be furious or hurt or…something negative. He should have some kind of negative emotion towards her, but…when he looked at Marinette, all he could feel was love and awe and longing.

After all, she was going to tell him, right? She had promised to share her secrets with Chat Noir. Why waste time being upset when he could be basking in her magnificence? Being in love felt so much better than being mad.

“I didn’t think I could love you any more than I already did, Marinette,” Adrien chuckled, “but then I go and find out that you’re twice as perfect as I thought you were, and I am so gone on you, it isn’t even funny.”

“Adrien,” Marinette sighed, pulling away. “Stop. I’ve hurt you.”

“I’d die for you. What’s a little pain? Please keep being my girlfriend, Princess.”

“Adrien, I’ve needlessly hurt you for _years_. I’ve been such an idiot,” she moaned, covering her face with her hands.

He pulled her hands away and squeezed them gently. “I forgive you. Now, forgive _me_ , and don’t break up with me, Marinette. I swear I won’t let you down again. We can get through this.”

Marinette shook her head. “I’m in love with you.”

The words sent explosions detonating in a chain reaction through each and every cell of his being.

“I’ve been in love with you for four and half years, Adrien. _You_ are the other guy I always turned down Chat for. It’s _you_.”

“You’re in love with me,” Adrien echoed giddily. “This is perfect. I am so in love with you, Marinette.”

He leaned in with the full expectation that they would be kissing and starting their happily ever after together.

“Stop,” she hissed in frustration, pulling away yet again. “Just stop, okay?”

“S-Sorry.” He blinked in surprise, confused by her seemingly negative reaction. “But…isn’t this good? We’re both in love with each other. Don’t we…forgive past wrongs, say ‘I love you’, and then…you know. Get married in a few years or…?”

She stared at him, honestly bewildered by his naiveite. “Adrien…real life doesn’t work like that.”

She was tempted to add, “Just look at your parents” by way of extreme example, but she feared it might be too cruel.

“I don’t understand,” he replied in a small voice. “I love you. You just said that you’re in love with me. What else is there?”

Marinette wilted. “Adrien. _You_ are the guy that I told you about last night. Do you remember how I said that even if he returned my feelings, I couldn’t be with him for my own good and for the good of our friendship? That’s _you_. I can’t be with you.”

“I…”

The world was melting. The trees, the pond, the plaster statue displayed in the exedra, the flowers…all of it was swirling together.

“I don’t understand,” he repeated. “I…I’m getting better,” he offered, as it was the only thing he could say in his defence. “I’m really sorry for everything I did. I didn’t know what I was doing. You and Nino said I should date other people, so I did. Okay, I admit that I did it wrong, but as soon as I figured out that I was doing it wrong, I stopped. And then Nino said I should just date one person for a while, so I started dating Elise…and yes, I screwed that up too, but…I realized that what I was doing was bad on my own, and I apologized, and I won’t do it again. Haven’t I done what you guys told me? What more do I need to do before you’ll be in a serious relationship with me?”

Marinette bit her lip, gazing at him in pity as he desperately pled his case. He looked so lost. She was tempted to pull him into a hug and kiss it better. Only she knew that she couldn’t. For her own sake, she couldn’t. “Adrien, while it’s true that you did everything that was asked of you, you simultaneously missed the entire point of the exercise. Yes, you’ve gotten better, but it’s not enough.”

Adrien choked in disbelief. “Okay. Okay. Fine. Then…tell me what else I have to do.”

“Adrien, I don’t know,” she confessed, trying to be gentle. “Be more emotionally stable. I don’t know what you’re going to have to do to get there, but it’s clear that you can’t really be with anyone in the state you’re in now.”

He forced himself to take a deep breath before he started to hyperventilate. “This…isn’t fair,” he whispered. “I’m a mess because I loved you, but you didn’t love me, so I tried not to love you, but then I fell in love with you again, and now you love me too, but…that’s still not good enough? You can’t be with me because you’ve literally driven me insane? How is that my fault?” he laughed, feeling his chest tighten and tears sting once more. “Not that I think it’s your fault. It’s not your fault you’re…there’s not even a word for how beautiful and amazing and magnificent you are. I’m not blaming you, but I don’t see how you can penalize me for this either.”

Marinette worried at her bottom lip as she internally warred with herself. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to throw her better judgment out the window. She wanted to pull him down on top of her then and there and have him kiss her like he had the night before.

She had to get away from him.

She stood.

He looked up at her with eyes full of desperation, hurt, and confusion.

“Adrien, I’m sorry, but this is too much. I can’t do this,” she declared, putting her foot down. “I’m flattered, really, but I think you’re deifying me. I can’t be with someone who has those kinds of unrealistic expectations of me. I may be freaking awesome, but can’t live up to that. I am not a goddess. I’m a human being who makes mistakes and screws things up and hurts the people who are important to me. Until you can see me as I actually am and get your emotional health under control, I can’t be with you, no matter how much I want to.”

He opened his mouth to protest, argue, reason with her, but the only word that came out was a broken, sad little, “Please?”

“No, Adrien.” She shook her head, looking heartbroken.

“Please don’t leave me,” he tried again.

“Adrien,” she sighed in exhaustion. “No. I’m not leaving you. I will always be your friend…but your friend is all I can be right now. Okay?”

He laughed bitterly. “Do I even get a say in that? Do I have the option of saying, ‘no, that’s not okay, Marinette’?”

She stared at him without responding.

“Sorry,” he backpedaled, shrinking. “I’m sorry. I meant ‘yes’. I meant ‘okay’. Okay. Whatever you say. Whatever you want. I’ll do whatever you want. I swear I’ll respect your wishes, so…” He looked up at her questioningly, eyes full of supplication.

“Don’t leave me” was heavily implied.

“I need space,” Marinette decided. “And time.”

“Of course,” Adrien readily agreed. “Whatever you need. I’m sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing,” she entreated. “It makes me feel miserable.”

“Sorry,” he replied automatically before wincing, realizing what he had done. “Sor—” He clapped a hand over his mouth.

She smiled sadly.

“So…” He bit his lip. “I just have to…keep getting better? Not idolize you so much? Give you space for a while? And then you’ll go out with me?”

She grimaced, thinking, _“Adrien, I don’t want to hurt you, but I may never be able to be with you.”_

“Maybe,” she answered instead. “We’ll see.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”

There was an awkward silence.

“So…did you…maybe want to go back and get breakfast—as just friends—or…?” He knew it was stupid to even ask, but if he didn’t, he knew she was going to leave, and he didn’t want her to leave because then she would need “space”, and he got the impression that that did not include Chinese food and watching anime on her couch or visiting her as Chat Noir to sit on her balcony and talk about whatever random thoughts entered their brains.

And he wished he had never told her. He wished he had just lied about why Adrien had been avoiding her and kept his mouth shut…and kept her. Kept her and proved to her as Chat Noir what a good boyfriend he could be. Proved to her that he was good enough.

Marinette shook her head, her smile tight and forced. “Adrien, I need you to not call or text me for a few days, okay? Don’t talk to me at school. Don’t drop by the bakery. Just give me some space, okay?”

He couldn’t find his voice to answer. He was going to cry. She was going to leave, and as soon as she was out of sight, he was going to break down into ugly sobs on a park bench in the middle of the Tuileries, embarrassing himself, her, and his father and the company. He was going to get akumatized this time. It had been nothing short of a miracle that Papillon hadn’t gotten him the last time after he’d first confessed as Chat Noir and she’d broken his heart by telling him there was someone else. He was going to get akumatized, and she was going to have to fight him, and then all of Paris would know that Adrien Agreste had gotten his heart broken, and he’d have to slink home with his tail between his legs.

Adrien nodded in lieu of a response. He reached up to rub at the still-tender line of bruises running down his neck, and it offered some small measure of comfort.

“Hey,” she called softly. “Make sure to talk to Nino, okay. If you need anything, go straight to Nino. He figured out my identity a while ago, so you can tell him everything, if you want.”

Adrien made a small, wounded noise.

Marinette pursed her lips. “Plagg?”

“I really don’t like you right now,” Plagg growled from within Adrien’s shirt, not deigning to poke out his head to speak with her.

“I know,” Marinette sighed. “Just make sure he gets home, okay?”

“I will,” Plagg scoffed savagely. “No thanks to _you_.”

“Thank you,” Marinette muttered. “Adrien?”

Reluctantly he met her gaze.

“Please, please take care of yourself.” She leaned in and pressed an affectionate kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later.”

She left.

Adrien cried.

No black butterfly appeared.

Plagg offered empty words of comfort. He didn’t expect them to help. They did not help.

It was half an hour before Nathalie and Gabriel showed up, alerted by posts on social media of Adrien Agreste’s latest heartbreak.

“Come along,” Gabriel coaxed, helping Adrien to stand. “Let’s get you home.”

Gabriel took one side, and Nathalie took the other. Together they guided him out of the park and to the waiting car.

Adrien rested his head on Nathalie’s shoulder and continued to sniffle softly, almost out of tears.

Hesitantly she wrapped her arm around him, hoping it would do something to comfort her charge.

“It’s okay,” Gabriel assured, at a loss for words.

Plagg snorted. “It is obviously not. Is that the best you’ve got, Gabe?”

Gabriel frowned. “It’s…going to be okay?” he tried.

Plagg rolled his eyes.

“Shh,” Nathalie whispered, obviously distressed and uncomfortable assuming this role. “Shh. Once you’ve calmed down, we can talk about it, and I can figure out some way to fix this,” she offered.

Adrien started to cry harder.

Plagg, Nathalie, and Gabriel exchanged looks.

“We suck at this,” Plagg decreed.

An hour later once Adrien had calmed down, he refused to say what had happened and only asked, “What does it mean when someone says they need space? What is space? Is that five days? A week? She said not to talk to her for a few days, but after that, can we still hang out, or…?”

No one knew the answers to those questions.

Adrien claimed he wasn’t hungry and retired to his room for a nap while Plagg filled the others in on the situation.

“I’ll clear his schedule for the rest of the weekend,” Nathalie sighed. “We all know he’ll be impossible to get out of bed until it’s time for school on Monday…if then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. But we knew this was coming, didn't we?
> 
> Question: Have you ever before seen “You’re disappointed that it’s me” followed by “Yes”?
> 
> Did you have a favourite line? A line you didn't like? What was the best part? What part hurt the most? Did you like the chapter? 
> 
> I don't like it as much reading it again as I did when I was writing it. I went and sat at that spot in the Tuileries last time I was in Paris. It was after I hit up the Japanese bookstore nearby. I called my mum as I sat and watched the waterfowl drift along.
> 
> Welcome to Angstville, by the way. I vacation here regularly. It's quite nice in the summer.
> 
> In other, unrelated news, I just got home from fencing, and I'm a little sore from holding my arms up for an hour. ^.^; It's been a while since I've done this. Do you think I should fence right- or left-handed? I can't decide. :/
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	14. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is trying really hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there everyone. Welcome back for Day Fourteen.
> 
> Coming up we have Adrien going back to school (Fifteen: Judge), Nino being awesome (Sixteen: Hole), Gabriel doing his best (Seventeen: Dad), Elise (Eighteen: Meeting)...and then probably the graduation party (?:Crowd). Something to look forward to. ^.^

“Nathalie, I need you to give me back my Miraculous,” Gabriel declared resolutely at breakfast Tuesday morning.

Plagg arched an eyebrow suspiciously.

Nathalie paused with her coffee cup halfway to her mouth and sighed. “Gabriel, if it’s really bothering you not being able to sense other people’s emotions that much, maybe you should see someone for your anxiety.”

Gabriel openly scoffed. “Therapy is for weak-willed people looking for someone to whine to. Therapy is for people looking for excuses, people who lack the willpower to solve their own problems. Do I look like someone who would talk to a therapist?”

“No, Gabriel,” Nathalie muttered wearily. “Of course not.”

“Of course not,” he harrumphed. “Why would I pay good money to divulge my private affairs to some charlatan gossip? What a ludicrous idea, Nathalie.”

“Of course, Gabriel,” Nathalie mollified, making a mental note to get him a book on dealing with anxiety and slip it in with the guidebooks he was reading on parenting. She’d say it was for helping Adrien.

“Besides, I’m fine,” Gabriel argued. “While it _is_ slightly unsettling not to feel everyone’s emotions like I used to, it’s actually kind of nice not to have that leakage, to only have to deal with what I am personally feeling. I’m getting fewer headaches, and I’m actually sleeping nights, so…”

“That’s good, Gabriel. I’m glad you’re handling this transition so well,” Nathalie praised. “But…then, why do you want your Miraculous back?”

“For Adrien,” Gabriel explained. “I was thinking that if there were to be an akuma attack, Chat Noir would have to get out of bed to fight, wouldn’t he? I just hate to see him so lifeless like this, Nathalie. There has to be something we can do.”

Nathalie pursed her lips. “While your idea is sound in principle, Chat Noir is in no shape to be out fighting akuma. He’s dehydrated from crying three days straight and weak from hardly eating just as long. If he goes out there, he’ll only get hurt.”

Gabriel slumped back into the loveseat, his rigid posture collapsing.

“It was a good idea, Gabe,” Plagg comforted as he stuffed a piece of Brie, rind and all, into his mouth.

Nathalie set down her coffee cup with a sigh. “I’m going to go see if he’ll get up for school today.”

“He was out cold when I left about twenty minutes ago,” Plagg informed.

“Let me go,” Gabriel volunteered. “He has to get up. He’s spent long enough wallowing.”

“Be nice, Gabriel,” Nathalie pleaded. “He’s still feeling raw.”

“I’ve _been_ nice the past two and a half weeks. Now it’s time to be reasonable but firm,” Gabriel stated with determination. “He’s getting up, taking a shower, and eating a real meal. I might not make him go to school today, but I’m going to make him get out of bed and take care of himself. I’m at least making him move to the couch. We can’t let him carry on like this indefinitely. This is not healthy.”

Nathalie began to massage the bridge of her nose. “Please at least be gentle.”

“He’s not made of glass,” Gabriel insisted.

“He might as well be,” Plagg muttered.

“and he’ll start getting better as soon as we stop treating him like he is,” Gabriel concluded, getting to his feet and starting for the door.

Plagg grabbed another chunk of Brie and followed along after him.

Once they were out in the hall, Plagg arched an eyebrow at his companion. “There’s no way that you’re actually this okay,” he hummed. “You’re even better at putting on a ‘This is fine’ face than Adrien.”

“Excuse me?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow back at Plagg as Plagg floated along beside Gabriel.

“You’ve got to be a wreck on the inside,” Plagg concluded. “There’s no way you’re not what with finding out about Adrien…finally letting go of your wife…”

Gabriel looked away. “…I am fine.”

“Uh-huh.” Plagg nodded slowly. “Sure.”

“I am. I’m not someone who lets silly emotions get in the way when there’s a job to be done. I don’t sit around and wallow in my feelings; I take action,” Gabriel explained. “How else do you think I clawed my way up out of poverty to become the success I am now? Sometimes you just have to keep your eye on the goal and do whatever it takes to get there.”

Plagg hummed thoughtfully. “I can see how this ‘all or nothing’ thinking got us to where we are currently…. It’s okay not to be okay, you know.”

“That’s what Nathalie says,” Gabriel sighed. “She’s concerned that I’m not letting myself fully grieve for Emilie, but what she doesn’t seem to understand is that I have a son who needs me right now. I don’t have time to be mourning a wife who’s been gone for years. I have the rest of my life to spend missing Emilie. Right now, I need to keep it together for Adrien.”

Plagg nodded. “While I’m biased in favor of doing everything possible to make Adrien feel better, I doubt that it’s healthy to keep stuffing something that big down like you are.”

“That’s my problem, not yours,” Gabriel snickered.

“Just see to it that it doesn’t _become_ my problem,” Plagg sighed. “The last thing Adrien needs is his father having an emotional meltdown.”

“I have things under control,” Gabriel insisted as he knocked perfunctorily at Adrien’s door before going in. “Adrien?”

There was no response from the eerily still form in the bed.

“Adrien,” Gabriel called again, going over to gently shake Adrien’s arm. “Time to get up. You need to get ready for school.”

Adrien made a groggy, disoriented sound. His eyes flickered open briefly before sliding shut once more.

“I can’t,” Adrien mumbled, voice like molasses with sleep.

“Adrien,” Gabriel warned, tone firm and authoritative. “I’ve let you do whatever you’ve wanted these past three days. I’ve had Nathalie cancel all of your obligations, and I’ve allowed you to stay home from school,” Gabriel listed patiently.

“Now, there are only two or three weeks left of high school, and I must insist that you attend. You will get out of this bed, you will make yourself presentable, you will eat a decent meal, and you will attend the entirety of the remainder of the school year unless you are actually physically ill,” Gabriel decreed.

“I know you’re struggling right now,” Gabriel attempted to sympathize with Adrien’s situation like the parenting guidebooks had suggested. “I know this is a very hard thing that I am asking you to do, but you’re a young adult now, and adults regularly have to do unpleasant, hard things. Now, I need you to get up, Adrien. I know I am not being kind right now, but am I being reasonable? Is my request reasonable?”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien mumbled, eyes still closed.

“So you’ll get up?” Gabriel brightened, thinking that the parenting guidebooks were working.

“I literally can’t right now,” Adrien moaned.

“Adrien, you know how I feel about the improper use of the word ‘literally’.”

“No, I really can’t. I woke up when Plagg left for breakfast, and I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I took some allergy meds to knock myself out,” Adrien explained in a sleepy slur, vaguely motioning towards the nightstand.

Gabriel looked and found that the pills had fallen to the floor. He picked them up with a sigh, stuffing them into his jacket pocket. “Adrien,” Gabriel chided.

“Sorry to be disappointing,” Adrien murmured. “I don’t think I can stand up straight right now.”

“You’re not disappointing,” Gabriel assured, sad that his son would even think that. “Just…don’t abuse pharmaceuticals like that again. It’s disconcerting.”

Adrien made a grunt of assent. “Sorry,” he whispered softly, drifting off to sleep once more.

“I’ll be back in two hours to wake you again, and, at that time, you will get up and get ready for school,” Gabriel informed, his tone brooking no argument.

Adrien made none.

“…It’s going to be okay,” Gabriel gently whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to his son’s forehead. “We’re going to get through this, Adrien.”

“Dad?” Adrien tried to open his eyes, but he couldn’t manage it.

“Yes, Son?”

“I know how you feel about counseling, but may I please go talk to a therapist?”

Gabriel gave a start. “Wh-What? Why would you ask that?”

“Because when you’re sick, you go to the doctor,” Adrien muttered groggily. “I’m very, very sick, Dad.”

Adrien did manage to open his eyes that time to look up sadly at his father.

That look, coupled with the new English appellation of “Dad” which seemed so much more warm and intimate than the French “Père”, made Gabriel’s heart clench.

“If I don’t get better and get Marinette to forgive me and take me back…”

Adrien swallowed hard, eyes slipping closed once more as he rubbed at the bruises still prominent and purple down his neck.

“…I’m afraid I’m going to end up killing myself, accidentally or otherwise, and I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to feel that desperate. I don’t want to do that to the people that love me. I don’t want to get to that point, so…can you help me?”

“O-Of course,” Gabriel rushed to acquiesce. “Absolutely. Anything. Whatever you think you need.”

“Sorry,” Adrien mumbled. “I’m not trying to scare you. I just… _I’m_ scared at how dark it is inside my own head. I don’t want to get to the point where depression and desperation become suicidal thoughts and actions. I want to get better, not worse.”

“We’ll get you there,” Gabriel promised reaching out to smooth his son’s hair. “We’ll get you better. I’ll talk to Nathalie, and we’ll get you in to see a therapist as soon as possible.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Adrien mumbled with a light smile before promptly drifting off to sleep, unable to fight the effects of the allergy medication in his system any longer.

Gabriel stood there gazing down at the wreckage of his son for a good two or three minutes, contemplating once more how they had gotten to that point.

Plagg settled down on the pillow next to Adrien, despite having his own personal pillow. He snuggled up next to Adrien’s cheek and licked it protectively.

“At least he knows he’s sick,” Plagg sighed. “At least he wants to fight it.”

Gabriel took a deep breath. “I wish Emilie were here. This is terrifying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, no, Adrien is not suicidal, nor is he going to become suicidal. He'll get better; he's just really low right now. We go up from here.
> 
> So, I have some thoughts about Gabriel. I don't imagine it's very healthy having everyone else's strong emotions leaking into your mind at all hours of the day for four years. I suspect that that might be deteriorating his sanity and making him more grumpy and unreasonable. I, therefore, imagine that having the Miraculous taken away and only having to deal with his own emotions again would do Gabriel a world of good. Those are my thoughts, anyway.
> 
> Thanks for reading. See you tomorrow!


	15. Judge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien goes back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! First off, I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful feedback. We've had a lot of different opinions about Marinette and Adrien's behaviours and decisions in recent chapters and some really great discussions. Thank you all so much for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks.

Gabriel snapped something about sartorial trends in Italian that Adrien didn’t quite understand. He had heard his father rant heatedly about fashion in Italian often enough to the point where Adrien himself was able to thoroughly insult designers, models, lighting specialists, the sound people, the critics reviewing a show, and the owner of the venue, but the comment Gabriel had just made was more subtle; thus, it went completely over Adrien’s head.

 _“Maybe I should learn how to say something useful in Italian like, ‘Where is the train station?’ or ‘Does this have meat in it?’,”_ Adrien thought as he watched the Seine fly by outside the car window.

Gabriel put his line back on mute and sighed, “This call is a waste of time. The idiot has no conception of the direction current trends are pointing for next season. Why, just the other day, I was speaking with a few of our new interns, and Ma—aa…”

Gabriel stopped dead, slowly turning to scrutinize the damage he had done.

Adrien smiled sadly. “Go on. What did Marinette say?”

Gabriel gulped. “…Neoclassicism is making another comeback. And she’s absolutely right.”

Gabriel cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. Are you okay? Are you going to be okay going to school today? Are you going to be okay seeing her? Am I pushing you too hard? We don’t have to do this.”

Adrien chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know. There’s only one period left today, so…I’m sure I can tough it out for one period. As for Marinette…”

He covered his face with his hands. “God, I _want_ to see her. I want to see her more than anything. Is that masochistic?”

Plagg sighed, poking his head out of Adrien’s shirt collar. “A little bit, Kid.”

Adrien blew out a long sigh, his hand trailing down his face to rub at his neck.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” Adrien mumbled.

“Not pathetic,” Gabriel assured. “Just pitiable.”

“I can live with ‘pitiable’,” Adrien decided, distractedly tracing the bruises with a finger.

Gabriel’s lips pressed together in a thin line. “It won’t be like this for much longer. Things are going to get better.”

“I hope so,” Adrien mumbled, leaning his head to rest against the windowpane.

“Did Nathalie tell you we were able to schedule you to see a counselor at six this evening?” Gabriel inquired.

Adrien’s head whipped around, and he stared incredulously at his father. “What? Really? So soon? I thought we’d have to sit around on a waiting list for a few months or something.”

Gabriel shook his head gravely. “We didn’t really have time to be waitlisted. Measures might have been taken to circumvent the waiting list.”

Adrien’s expression slowly morphed into a frown. “What did you do? Do I want to know?”

“Let’s just say,” Gabriel sighed. “They’ll soon begin construction on the Emilie Agreste Memorial Mental Health Wing thanks to our generous donation.”

Adrien pursed his lips. “Part of me feels bad for cutting in line, but there’s also a part of me that reasons that they’ll be able to help more people with a new, updated wing.”

Gabriel shrugged. “I’m not concerned with being a good person. I’m concerned with being your father.”

“Mother would be pleased to have something named after her.” Adrien smiled nostalgically and began to giggle. “She would probably make some snide remark about giving her name to a psych ward.”

Gabriel began to laugh even as his heart throbbed. “Yes, she would, wouldn’t she? Emilie always had something snarky and irreverent to say.”

“…Dad?”

“Hm?” Gabriel was still getting used to the new moniker.

Adrien smiled with green eyes full of gratitude. “Thank you so much. You’ve been so great the past two and a half weeks, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I’d be absolutely lost right now without your support…. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you said things were going to change.”

Gabriel reached out to run a hand through Adrien’s hair. “I’d given you no reason to believe me.”

“Thank you for today,” Adrien whispered. “I know you think psychologists are quacks, so it means a lot to me that you’ve gone to so much trouble.”

“I am willing to do anything you think we need to do to get you better, Adrien, regardless of my personal beliefs. At this point, I hope that I’ve been wrong this whole time and she’s actually able to help you,” Gabriel confessed.

Adrien nodded. “Yeah. Me too…but still. Thank you, Dad.”

Gabriel shrugged. “All I did was throw money at the problem like usual. This was a team effort. Nathalie spent all day finding a doctor and making the phone calls, and Plagg covered Nathalie’s desk while she was doing that, so…”

Adrien awkwardly tried to look down his shirt at the kwami. “Really, Plagg?”

Plagg floated out to shrug, landing on Gabriel’s shoulder. “I mean, you were out cold, so it’s not like you needed strict supervision. It wasn’t so hard to answer the phone and play around on the computer between poking my head in to check on you.” Plagg cleared his throat and recited, “‘Gabriel Enterprises. You’ve reached the desk of Nathalie Sancoeur. This is her assistant Plagg. How may I help you?’ And then you just have to tell them what day you need what where. Nathalie made me a cheat sheet. It wasn’t too hard since Nathalie has everything so organized.”

“Wow, Plagg,” Adrien snickered. “I didn’t think you had it in you to be useful.”

“I surprised myself,” Plagg admitted.

“He’s actually a very skilled resource manager,” Gabriel praised. “He reworked our invoice system.”

Adrien’s eyes widened in surprise.

Plagg shrugged. “I had a kitten who was an accountant for a law firm back in the late eighteen-hundreds. The principles are the same. I just had to learn how to work the computer, but I’ve seen you do that plenty of times, Kid.”

Adrien nodded dumbly as they pulled up to the school and the car stopped.

Gabriel looked at the building and then at Adrien with a dubious expression. “You’re sure you’re okay to do this?”

Adrien shrugged. “I’m at least going to try. I’ve got this. I mean, I get pummeled by akuma thrice a week, so how bad can this be?”

Gabriel winced, thinking,  _“Not anymore, you don’t.”_

Gabriel leaned in to press a kiss to Adrien’s forehead. “Have a good day…. I’m proud of you.”

With a genuine smile, Adrien stepped out of the car and made his way into the school.

He snuck into Madame Mendeleiev’s Calculus class through the back door, hoping to escape notice by sitting at the back of the room, but Mendeleiev herself foiled his plan.

“Monsieur Agreste, so nice of you to join us,” she remarked sarcastically.

Nearly the whole class turned to stare at him.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Madame,” Adrien replied, head down, refusing to look at anyone so as not to witness their reactions to seeing him.

Apparently, the akumatization sensitivity training the teachers had to take had not made an impression on Madame Mendeleiev.

Adrien could feel his cheeks burning as he buried his eyes in the textbook and tried not to fuss with the scarf covering up the marks on his neck.

His classmates started whispering, and as much as Adrien actively tried not to hear, Chat Noir’s heightened senses affected him residually even outside of the mask.

“Wow. He looks like crap.” Juleka.

“Did you see the pictures online of him crying at the park Saturday?” Max.

“Look at that scarf. No points for guessing what that’s covering up.” Alix.

“Someone saw some action. Maybe he was so bad she broke up with him.” Kim.

“Serves him right for the way he’s been treating Marinette.” Mylène.

“Has your brother said anything yet?” Rose.

“How is he? How does he look? Does he look okay?”  _Marinette_. Marinette obviously unable to look at him herself and asking Alya to do reconnaissance.

Adrien heard Alya draw in a sharp breath. “He’s…fine,” Alya lied.

Marinette sighed. He could almost see her rolling her eyes. “Alya?”

Alya blew out a weary breath. “Honestly? I think you wrecked him. If anyone was ever being held together by rubber bands, it would be him.”

“Oh,” Marinette replied in a barely-there whisper. “G-Great. Thanks.”

God, he hoped she didn’t look at him. He hadn’t thought he’d looked  _that_  bad, but, apparently, the situation was dire, and he didn’t want her to see him like that.

Tomorrow he’d put on more makeup. He would smile so hard and look everyone in the eye and stand up straight and be the Adrien Agreste that everyone saw on billboards. Tomorrow he would fake it so well that no one would suspect a thing.

But in that moment, he felt like a wounded seal watching the sharks circling round. He was not the Adrien Agreste on the perfume bottle. He was just that dorky loser Adrien whose life was currently rimming the drain.

He sank lower in his seat, hunching his shoulders to hide his face. He kept his head down until Madame Mendeleiev called for order and resumed the lesson.

He considered sneaking back out of class and heading to the nurse’s office until all the other students had left for the day. He’d been wrong. Battling akuma might be _physically_ challenging and painful, but that was nothing compared to the mental anguish of sitting in that classroom, feeling like a freak show and having everyone whisper about him.

“Don’t stop breathing on me, Kid,” Plagg whispered. “Come on. In and out.”

Adrien took a shallow inhale. It was all his lungs could handle.

“Hey. No hyperventilating,” Plagg chided, concern softening his voice. “Kid, this was a bad idea. Let’s go home,” he suggested.

But Adrien couldn’t move. He was too afraid to get up and leave, knowing it would draw even more attention to himself. He was afraid to run away and show them how scared he was of them and what they would think and what they would whisper behind his back. He was too terrified to move, to flee and let them know they had beaten him.

He was afraid of what Marinette would think. He had to convince her he was emotionally stable. He had to prove that he was the kind of guy that she would want to get involved with. Running out of class crying would not accomplish those goals, so Adrien stayed and focused on not letting anyone see what a disaster he was.

After a few minutes, he tentatively peeked up at Marinette. Or, at least, the back of her head. Her hair was up in a bun, and she was wearing a black lace choker she had made out of some of the fabric scraps he had once given her.

Adrien lightly touched the bruises she’d left on his neck and thought that it was nice that she had a gift from him around her neck too.

 

The bell had barely rung when Adrien bolted from his seat, hoping to get to his locker and get out before anyone could look at him or say anything.

His plan failed. 

He couldn’t remember his locker combination. The information was just gone. He tried several strings of numbers that seemed to have some potential, but none of them worked. It could have been the fact that his hands were shaking so badly, he wasn’t certain he’d entered the numbers he was intending to in the first place.

“Breathe, Kid,” Plagg reminded, phasing down Adrien’s arm and through the locker to pop the door open.

“Thank you,” Adrien mumbled meekly, feeling the edge come off his panic.

Until someone yanked his scarf off from behind.

“Hey, Agreste.”

Adrien spun to find Kim looming over him with a predatory smirk. “Wow! It looks like someone really mauled you. What happened?”

“Kim, could you please give me my scarf back?” Adrien reached for it, but Kim pulled it away, balling it up and holding it over Adrien’s head.

Adrien was five-nine in shoes while Kim had reached six foot three, and those few inches made all the difference.

“Make me,” Kim snickered.

Adrien stood on his tiptoes to no avail. “Please, Kim?”

“Nope,” Kim rejected the request gleefully. “You know, I don’t know what Marie ever saw in you. She’s so over you, by the way,” Kim added savagely.

“W-What?” Adrien blinked stupidly, hands dropping to his sides. “Marinette…is…?”

Kim shoved Adrien back into his locker door.

Adrien caught himself on one of the shelves inside the open locker and looked up wide-eyed at Kim as the other boy growled, “You bastard!  _Marie_! Marie, that girl that you dated. Marie who was head over heels in love with you, you self-absorbed prick! You should be shot,” Kim spat, looking down at Adrien in disgust. “Guys like you should be taken out back and shot. I hope whoever gave you that hickey makes you suffer. I hope she toys with your heart like you did Marie’s.”

Adrien didn’t even have the presence of mind to flinch when Kim drew back his foot to kick Adrien.

Thankfully, the blow never landed.

“Back the hell off, Kim,” Marinette snapped, charging Kim like a rhino and shoving him away from Adrien while Kim was off balance.

“The hell, Marinette?!” Kim snapped.

Marinette stomped her foot, putting herself between Kim and Adrien. “You heard me: Back off,” she repeated, an eerie calm in her voice that spoke of someone who was master of the situation. “You mess with him, you deal with me.”

Kim shifted uncomfortably under Marinette’s intense glare. Upon brief consideration, Kim put his hands up, unwilling to go up against Marinette. He tossed the scarf at Adrien’s feet as he walked away, muttering under his breath.

The rest of the locker room went back about its business once the show had ended, but Marinette and Adrien remained motionless. He stared as she took a deep breath and forced her muscles, her jaw, her fists to unclench.

She didn’t turn to face him, and he was glad of it because he was positive that he looked pathetic. That he _was_ pathetic. And she was just so cool and brave and wonderful.

Had she hurt him? Yes. Would he let her hurt him again? Gladly. Over and over and over if only that pain could be interspersed with happiness like she had made him feel when she’d smiled at him, called him Chaton, returned one of his puns with a pun of her own, kissed him…

She had told him not to speak to her. He wondered how strictly she’d enforce that rule.

“Thank you,” he ventured in a small, timid voice.

She visibly deflated.

He almost apologized, but she spoke first, “I will  _always_  have your back. No matter what.”

Without another word or a glance behind, she walked away.

But her words, that simple promise, meant the world to him. He shut the locker door and fled before anything else could happen to kill the hope inside of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one kind of hit home for me. I don't know why I wrote this. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
> 
> See you guys tomorrow!


	16. Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino does his best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry that the chapter is a little late tonight. My friend is in from out of town, so I spent the afternoon bowling with him. I hope to catch up on replies to comments soon, but I'm still trying to keep ahead of myself so that I can post a new chapter every day. There will at least be an update tomorrow and probably on the eighteenth too. We'll see after that. Nineteen will probably be posted this week, but I'm thinking twenty is going to be a big chapter at the graduation party, so...
> 
> Anyway. In the meantime, thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I appreciate the support!

Adrien survived Wednesday by hiding out in storage closets and sneaking into class through the back door just seconds before the teacher. He sat in the last row so no one could stare at him, and he carried all the things he needed for the day in his satchel so that he didn’t have to return to his locker and risk running into anybody between classes.

Lunch was tricky. He fled at the bell and hid until it was safe for Chat Noir to emerge and head up to a rooftop to eat undisturbed.

Thursday followed a similar pattern.

Adrien was beginning to think that maybe he could survive like this for the remaining two weeks of the school year when Nino ruined his plans on Friday.

“Gotcha!” Nino declared victoriously as he grabbed Adrien by the arm.

Adrien yelped and struggled frantically to escape.

Seeing the terror on his friend’s face, Nino released his hold. “Whoa. Chill, Mec. Hey!”

Adrien made a run for it, heading for the storage closet down the back hallway off of the gym.

Nino gave chase only to find Adrien cowering behind a rack of folding chairs. “Hey,” he called softly. “Adrien, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. What’s going on?”

Adrien curled in on himself, trembling as he gasped, “D-Don’t look at m-me.”

Nino backed away slowly and took a seat on the other side of the chair rack. “Okay. I’m not looking at you. …Can we talk about this?”

Adrien didn’t respond.

Nino pursed his lips. “You breathing over there?”

“N-No,” Adrien answered honestly.

“Okay. Let’s do that first. Can you take a deep breath for me?” Nino coaxed and listened to Adrien inhale. “Now exhale slowly, all right?”

Adrien did as requested.

“Good. Good job. Now do it again, okay?”

Nino waited, listening to Adrien for a couple breaths before remarking, “You know, I’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been answering your phone, and every day when I stopped by your house, they told me you were sick.”

“I…don’t have my phone. I’m not allowed to talk to Marinette, so…Nathalie has it locked in a drawer…so that I’m not tempted,” Adrien explained, shame filling his voice.

“I see,” Nino whispered. “Well, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”

Adrien gulped and replied in a tiny voice, “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re…” Nino trailed off because Adrien was obviously not “okay”. “…not dead or something,” Nino finished lamely.

Silence fell between them again, and Nino let it be for a while.

“…Is there anything you need from me? Seriously. Anything. Even if you think it sounds dumb, go ahead and ask,” Nino offered.

Adrien didn’t respond right away. “…Can I have a hug? I know guys don’t hug, but…”

“Guys not hugging is a stupid rule,” Nino snorted, getting to his feet and going over to sit beside Adrien, wrapping an arm around his friend and pulling Adrien in.

Adrien circled his arms around Nino’s waist, tucking his head under Nino’s chin.

Nino gave Adrien a squeeze, resting his head against Adrien’s and assuring, “Mec, you can have a hug whenever you need one. Anything else you need?”

Adrien shook his head. “…You’re not going to press for an explanation?”

“You don’t owe me one,” Nino replied simply.

“I feel like I do.”

“But you don’t,” Nino chuckled.

Adrien made a disgruntled noise.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nino prompted.

“I think you already know what happened,” Adrien mumbled.

“I’ve heard the heavily redacted, hysterical-Marinette version, but that wasn’t what I asked you. Do you _want_ to talk about it?”

Adrien considered for a moment before snuggling in closer. “There’s nothing to talk about. I screwed everything up. Marinette doesn’t want to date me. I’m walking wounded here. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I don’t think that’s what actually happened, but…okay,” Nino easily agreed. “We’ll leave it alone for now, but if you change your mind and do decide that there’s something to talk about, just let me know, okay? For now, do you want to go get some lunch, or do you want to stay here a little longer?”

Adrien raised his head to look curiously at Nino while still maintaining a loose hold. “Get lunch…with you…and Alya and Marinette? I’m allowed to come back?”

Nino winced. “Uh…Sorry. Just with me. I don’t think…I don’t think lunch with the girls is a good idea.”

Adrien pulled away, nodding as he wrapped his arms around his knees and hugged them into his chest. “Yeah. Okay. No…I’m good. You should go eat with the girls, Nino. You don’t have to share my exile with me. Go eat with your…your girlfriend.” The word got stuck in Adrien’s throat.

“Dude, no,” Nino insisted. “And you’re not in exile.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “I think that’s kind of the definition of exile when you’re not allowed to go back to someplace you really want to be. You should go have lunch without me.”

“Adrien,” Nino sighed. “Look. I’m going to tell you a secret. Even if I wanted to go have lunch with the girls—which I _don’t_ because I would never leave a buddy hanging like that—I can’t.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow in confusion. “You ‘can’t’.”

Nino shook his head. “Marinette would kill me. She is seriously out of her mind with worry because of you. She told me Wednesday to go eat lunch with you—again, not that she needed to because I was going to anyway—but you disappeared so fast, and I couldn’t find you. Same thing on Thursday. Today, Marinette took me by the collar and told me that I had better track you down and make sure you weren’t eating alone otherwise she’d take my Miraculous and give it to my brother Noël. So, you see, I couldn’t eat lunch with the girls even if I wanted to.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. “Y-Your Miraculous? Did you just say your _Miraculous_?”

Nino’s mouth rounded into a little ‘o’. “Shoot. She didn’t tell you about that part? She told me she’d told you that you could talk to me because I knew everything. I thought she’d…”

Adrien shook his head in a comically slow fashion.

“Well.” Nino pursed his lips. “I guess both the cat and the turtle are out of the bag now.”

Adrien paled. “She…told you about me?”

Nino waved his arms vehemently. “Nonono. I figured that out myself from context.”

Adrien frowned incredulously. “What context?”

Nino rubbed at the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “Well, last Friday she texted me about dating Chat Noir, and then Saturday afternoon I texted her teasing about her sexy kitty boyfriend, but she flipped and said she absolutely could not date Chat Noir, but then she wouldn’t explain. I asked if it had anything to do with Adrien-you, and she flipped some more about how you’d confessed to being in love with her and how things were a mess. At that point, I kind of put things together and realized the only way that the situation made sense was if you and her friend Minou were the same person.”

Adrien’s face lost all remaining color.

“I also realized that I had helped steer her off a cliff by suggesting she date Chat Noir,” Nino groaned.

“Oh,” Adrien replied softly. “…Thank you for saving my butt the other day with that silly putty akuma.”

“Any time, Mec…. I am going to be a wreck from now on knowing it’s you out there,” Nino realized. “This is going to suck.”

“Sorry in advance,” Adrien muttered.

“You’d better be when you literally give me a heart attack,” Nino snorted.

“…Your gamer tag finally makes sense. NinjaTurtleIRL…. Isn’t that a little obvious?” Adrien snickered.

“It’s been three years, and you haven’t figured it out,” Nino countered smugly. “Is ‘LeChatDeLaPrincesse’ any better?”

Adrien winced.

“Come to think of it, you’ve had that handle for a couple years now, haven’t you? But you only started liking Marinette romantically a few months ago. What’s up with that?” Nino quirked an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Okay, so maybe I’ve had a low-grade crush on her for a while. Chat and Marinette started hanging out two, two and a half years ago, and…I don’t know.” Adrien shrugged.

Nino nodded. “Many guys have found themselves in a state of ‘I don’t know’ with Marinette. It’s a common reaction.”

Adrien sighed, resting his chin on his knees. “Yeah, but how many guys has she driven past the brink of desperation into lunacy?”

“You’re not crazy, Adrien. You’re just in love. Trust me. I know they feel similar, but there is a difference,” Nino assured.

“…I got my father to allow me to see a therapist,” Adrien remarked in a voice just above a whisper.

“Dude, that is awesome!” Nino gave Adrien’s upper arm a celebratory clap. “I am really excited for this new leaf your dad has been turning over lately!”

Adrien grimaced. “All it took was telling him I was afraid I’d end up killing myself if things didn’t get better.”

Nino’s elation quickly dissipated. “You shouldn’t tell people that…unless it’s true.”

Adrien gulped and nodded. “I don’t ever want to get to that point, but with the way things are going…I am afraid of eventually getting there.”

Nino wrapped his arms around Adrien once more and squeezed tight. “We are going to get you better, okay? We’re going to keep you safe, so don’t worry about the future. Let’s focus on the here and now. All right?”

“‘Kay’,” Adrien mumbled into Nino’s neck. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ve got you,” Nino promised.

They stayed like that a good minute before Nino tentatively pulled back to ask, “You doing okay now? You want to get some lunch, or is there anything else we need to talk about?”

“I’m ready for lunch, but I don’t want to go down to the lunch room with everyone else,” Adrien admitted.

Nino nodded. “All right. I’m going to go get food, but then I’ll meet you back up here, and we can eat together wherever you want. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Adrien affirmed with a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Nino rolled his eyes fondly as he got to his feet. “Silly boy. You don’t have to thank me. I love you, Mec. I’m here for you.” With a wink, Nino was off, leaving Adrien to consider what a great friend he had been blessed to find.

…And the fact that Marinette was still looking out for him, worrying about him eating lunch alone when she wasn’t in a place where she could eat with him herself.

Hope swelled in Adrien’s chest.

 

Adrien told Nino to head back to class first after the lunch break and that Adrien would be along soon. When Adrien snuck into class through the back door at the very last minute, he found Nino sitting in the back row in the seat next to the one right by the door that Adrien had been occupying the previous two days.

Adrien blinked owlishly.

“Can I sit here?” Nino inquired, prepared to be told no. “It’s okay if you want to be left alone, but I thought you could use some company.”

“You don’t want to sit up front by Alya?” Adrien pressed, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

Nino waved away Adrien’s concern “Not until my best bud can sit up there next to me.”

“Sometimes I want to kiss you,” Adrien chuckled. “Thank you, Nino.”

“Any time,” Nino assured as he tried to keep his blush under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the saddest for me. When my first boyfriend and I broke up in uni, I kind of lost my entire friend group. I wish I had had a Nino to come find me when I was hiding, too afraid to be seen by anyone. I wish someone had eaten with me. It would have been good to be found.
> 
> See you tomorrow!


	17. Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Adrien watch a movie and talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm still Mikau, and I'm glad you're still reading. Thank you to everyone who's been commenting, leaving kudos, and bookmarking this story.
> 
> Your support for last chapter was particularly touching. Thank you so much guys. You're all very wonderful, and I'm grateful to have you.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

“It’s a Saturday, and you’re eighteen. Shouldn’t you be…I’m sure I don’t know… _doing_ something? Perhaps with friends?” Gabriel peered over the back of the couch down at Adrien.

Adrien closed volume fourteen of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and set it on top of the stack of manga on the coffee table. He’d spent the morning binge reading.

“Nino and Alya are on a date,” Adrien sighed, sitting up. “Nino offered to cancel and hang out with me or let me come with them, but…”

Gabriel nodded. “Right. Well, what are your other friends doing?”

Adrien’s cheeks turned red, and he dropped his eyes to avoid Gabriel’s gaze as he muttered, “Marinette doesn’t seem to be talking to me again yet.”

Gabriel winced. “Sorry…. But what about everyone else?”

Adrien looked up, quirking an eyebrow. “What about everyone else who?”

Gabriel’s brow slowly began to form trenches. “Your other friends. What are they doing? The other people you spend time with.”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t really spend time with other people. I mean, I’m friendly with everybody else in my class and a couple of others at school, but we’re not the kind of friends that make plans together or anything.”

Gabriel’s frown deepened. “What about Miss Bourgeois? Miss Tsurugi?”

Adrien grimaced. “It’s been a while since Chloé and I were really friends. We’ve kind of grown apart, and Kagami is great, but…things have been kind of awkward since I started dating. She used to like me, and I think I disappointed her and destroyed the mental image she had of me, so…she’s kind of not talking to me unless it’s about how she’s kicking my butt at fencing. Besides, we were never really the kind of friends who, I don’t know, went bowling or went to an exhibition.”

Gabriel’s lips pressed into a thin line. “What about that Elise girl you were spending time with for a while? The other model. You two seemed close. You haven’t done anything with her in almost a month.”

Adrien cringed. “Elise was my girlfriend.”

“Ah.” Gabriel wilted slightly. “That’s right…. So…you don’t have anyone to do something with.”

Adrien shrugged. “There’s Plagg.”

Gabriel was silent for a moment. “…Perhaps we need to get you some new friends.”

A small smile tugged gently at Adrien’s lips. “Dad, you don’t get new friends like you get a new car. Don’t worry. I’ll probably make more friends in university.”

 _“But that doesn’t help you now,”_ Gabriel reasoned.

“Are you…sad that you don’t have anyone to do something with?” It was at times like this that Gabriel missed his Miraculous. He had never been adept at reading others’ emotions, and the brooch had helped immensely.

Adrien shrugged. “I spent the first thirteen years of my life with a grand total of one friend. I’m used to being alone, so it doesn’t really bother me too much. I’m fine spending the day reading manga. I’m reading it in Japanese too, so it’s not like I’m just lying around reading comics; I’m doing language study. It’s fine, Dad. The thing that I’m sad about is the fact that I’ve single-handedly wrecked my friend group.”

“I’m sure you haven’t,” Gabriel insisted, his grip on the back of the couch tightening.

Adrien shrugged again. “Nino and Alya are stuck having to divide their time between Marinette and me, and it’s my fault.”

“No. That’s Miss Dupain-Cheng’s doing,” Gabriel corrected with a hint of annoyance.

Adrien shook his head slowly. “I know you love me, Dad, but don’t give me a free pass because of it. I’ve spent enough time trying to make excuses for myself. It’s time I finally accept some of the blame. Sure, it’s Marinette’s wishes keeping us apart, but I’m the root cause of the problem.”

Gabriel sighed, reaching out to smooth Adrien’s hair. “Listen. I have a project I need to get done, but I can work off my tablet if you maybe want to watch a movie together. I can at least listen to the audio if you pick something in French, English, or Italian. Is that something you’d want to do?”

Adrien blinked in stunned silence for a beat before he could compose himself enough to react. “Really? You’d want to watch a movie with me?”

“Sure. Of course,” Gabriel assured with as much authenticity as he could manage despite feeling out of his depth and off balance. “I like spending time with you…. I need to work on making time to do that more often.”

Adrien’s grin rivaled exploding stars with its brilliance, and Gabriel decided that feeling awkward and off balance was worth it to see his son smile like that.

“I like spending time with you too…. Can we watch a Studio Ghibli film?” Adrien was practically bouncing in his seat.

“Whatever you want. I’ll go get my materials while you set it up.”

Gabriel returned ten minutes later to find Adrien all ready with a bowl of popcorn.

“I want to watch Howl’s Moving Castle. Is that okay?” He wriggled in excitement.

“Certainly.” Gabriel took a seat on the couch, grabbing a handful of popcorn and powering on his tablet.

Adrien bit his lip. “Would you prefer French or English audio?”

Gabriel shrugged. “It makes no difference to me. Which do you usually watch in?”

Adrien blushed, smiling sheepishly. “Japanese?”

With an eyeroll, Gabriel chuckled, “Of course you do. English, then.”

Adrien nodded, going into the settings menu and adjusting the audio options.

“Emilie really liked these movies,” Gabriel remarked offhandedly.

“We used to watch them together,” Adrien added quietly, fond yet wistful.

“Her favourite was…something about a valley and the wind.”

Adrien raised an eyebrow. “Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.” He nodded. “That’s a good one.”

“Do you have a favourite?” Gabriel prompted.

“Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke.” Adrien smiled.

“I liked The Cat Returns or Whisper of the Heart,” Gabriel replied softly. “She used to make me watch these with her. Before you. …Félix…”

Adrien whipped around to stare in bewilderment at his father.

“…never liked cartoons. He wouldn’t watch anime with Emilie. It made her sad. Félix was an odd child,” Gabriel concluded.

“He…He was always an adult, even when we were little,” Adrien tentatively chuckled, unsure if he were allowed to talk about his brother now too or if only Gabriel could.

Gabriel nodded.

Apparently, everything was okay. The world hadn’t imploded.

“I think he had to be,” Gabriel sighed. “God knows neither Emilie nor I were. Your brother had a bumpy childhood.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Adrien whispered.

The Agreste family had already been established when Adrien was born. Adrien couldn’t even begin to fathom living hand to mouth, financial instability, moving around a lot, small apartments on the outskirts of Paris…

“I spoke with your brother’s wife the other day,” Gabriel announced down at his screen.

“Bridgette didn’t mention it,” Adrien replied in confusion. “She called me last night.”

“Does she call you often? Nathalie mentioned that you talked, but…” Gabriel tentatively peeked up.

Adrien shrugged. “Usually once a week. More often when Noëlle is being a brat,” he snickered. “Sometimes Noëlle refuses to go to sleep unless Bridgette calls and has me sing Noëlle a lullaby.”

Gabriel nodded slowly. “I’d like to meet Noëlle. I told Bridgette that. It’s my understanding that you’ve never met her in person?”

Adrien shook his head. “Just through FaceTime.”

“I told Bridgette that they should come visit sometime…that I’d cover expenses if they would like to come visit for a week or two.” Gabriel watched as Adrien’s face lit up with tentative hope. “Félix didn’t want to talk to me, though.”

Adrien grimaced. “Félix doesn’t talk to me either. Apparently, he feels like he doesn’t have the right to speak with me after he quote, unquote ‘abandoned’ me. He passes on messages through Bridgette, though.”

“I have the feeling he simply did not want to speak to me,” Gabriel chuckled. “Bridgette seemed interested in visiting, though. I told her she and Noëlle could come without Félix. She said she hasn’t been back in Paris since they moved to Marseille, so…maybe she and Noëlle will come.”

“I’d love to see them,” Adrien chuckled giddily.

“Yes,” Gabriel affirmed tentatively, betraying his apprehension. “That would be nice.”

 

Gabriel noted, as the movie came to a close, that Adrien looked sad. “What are you thinking about?”

Adrien blushed, a sheepish smile overtaking his face. “Marinette.”

Gabriel nodded knowingly.

“I was just wondering where she is and what she’s doing. I haven’t talked to her in a week, and before that I’d spent a week and a half avoiding her because of the kiss with Chat Noir, so…” Adrien sighed miserably.

“I miss her so much,” he mumbled. “At school she can’t even look at me, and I just…I want to see her. Even if we can’t talk or hang out, I want to see her. I want to make sure she’s doing okay because this is hard on her too.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “ _She’s_ the one making things difficult. No one would have to feel wretched if she would just stop this nonsense and date you already.”

Adrien smiled softly, reaching up to rub at his slightly faded bruises. “Dad, I am an emotional black hole at this point, and I’m in no shape to date anyone. She was right to say no…even though I wish she had said yes. Please don’t be mad at Marinette for doing what she thought was best. She’s usually right…. She’s more level-headed than I am.”

Gabriel snorted. “She’s brainwashed you…but as you wish. I do, however, reserve the right to bring this episode up later once you are better and you two are married.”

“I’ll look forward to that glorious day…. Right now, it seems so far off.” Adrien sighed longingly. “God, I miss her so much. I wish I could just text her.”

Adrien looked questioningly at his father. “Do you think she’s had enough ‘space’? Have I waited a reasonable amount of time where I could ask her if we could start talking again? I don’t want to be annoying or violate the boundaries she’s set, but…she’s gotta be missing me too at this point…right? She probably misses me and wants to see me too, doesn’t she?”

Gabriel sighed, averting his eyes. He couldn’t take the sadness and desperation on his son’s face. “I don’t know, Adrien.”

Adrien slumped back into the couch, pulling his knees into his chest. He blew out a long sigh. “I hate this so much.” His voice strained through building tears that burned the back of his throat.

Gabriel rested his hand on Adrien’s head and began to rub gently as Plagg had suggested.

Adrien closed his eyes and leaned into his father’s touch. “Th-Thanks.”

“Mmhm. Just calm down, okay?” Gabriel coaxed. “Focus on your breathing.”

Gabriel had to admit that the book Nathalie had gotten him on anxiety and depression had been a valuable acquisition.

Adrien took steady, even breaths as Gabriel continued to massage.

“Would it help or hurt you to actually know what Miss Dupain-Cheng was doing, do you think?” Gabriel asked after a few minutes.

Adrien shrugged. “Help…so long as she’s not on a date with some stupid emotionally healthy guy.”

“She’s supposed to be at work,” Gabriel informed. “She’s helping with a photoshoot, managing the models, double-checking the looks before they’re photographed. I’ve actually assigned her a little more than I think she can handle. I’m hoping she surprises me. She seems to do well in the face of adversity. She thinks quickly on her feet.”

“You have no idea,” Adrien sighed affectionately. “I’d forgotten she was interning with Gabriel. You’re not being hard on her because of me, are you?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, giving Adrien’s head a pat before withdrawing his hand. “I’m being hard on her because I expect great things from her and I want to give her opportunities to grow.”

“Oddly generous of you to take it upon yourself to mentor her,” Plagg snickered. “I sense an ulterior motive.”

“Perhaps.” Gabriel shrugged, lips curling into a faint smirk.

“What kind of photoshoot is it?” Adrien inquired, feigning interest in the smaller details in order to get the information he truly wanted.

“A feature article for one of the usual magazines. They’re modeling sundresses,” Gabriel answered offhandedly.

“Anything you designed yourself, or are they pieces you oversaw and signed off on?”

“Mostly pieces I oversaw, but there is one dress that I did completely on my own. I’m quite pleased with how it turned out,” Gabriel reported with a hint of pride.

“Is it blue?” Adrien snickered.

Gabriel’s eyebrow arched. “Yes. How did you guess?”

Adrien shrugged, shifting so that one of his legs stretched out in front of him while the other leg was still pulled into his chest. “Nathalie looks good in blue. You’ve been designing in blue a lot lately.”

Gabriel cleared his throat and looked away. “Well. This particular dress is a peacock pattern, so…predominantly blue with greens and browns as well.”

Adrien nodded. “It sounds lovely…. So, where are they having the photoshoot today?”

Gabriel opened his mouth to respond but then closed it before he could divulge the location. “Why do you ask?”

Adrien shrugged, trying to play it as nonchalant as possible. “Just curious. I bet the Jardin du Palais Royal would be a good backdrop for summer dresses. Over by the fountain?”

Gabriel didn’t answer as Adrien studied his father’s face intently for any kind of tell.

“Or…maybe the Jardin de Luxembourg? Posing with the statues?” Adrien tried.

Gabriel’s brow creased.

“Parc Morceau?” Adrien asked when no hints were forthcoming. “Bois de Boulogne? …Or are you doing an indoor shoot?” He was acutely aware of the fact that he had begun to sound desperate.

“Adrien, I am not telling you where Miss Dupain-Cheng is. You need to leave her alone,” Gabriel instructed.

Adrien deflated with a heavy sigh. “I just want to see her.”

“Yes,” Gabriel snorted. “And then once you do, you’ll just want to say hi, and if you do, she’ll say something that unintentionally hurts you, and we’ll be back at square one. Adrien, no. Do you really want her to break your heart in every park in Paris?”

Adrien instantly perked up. “So she _is_ at a park.”

Gabriel groaned. “ _Adrien_.”

“If she’s at a park, I can just check them systematically,” Adrien strategized, bouncing in excitement.

“Not if I forbid Victor to drive you anywhere,” Gabriel interjected.

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s a good thing that I don’t need a car to get around, isn’t it? Plagg, transform me.”

Gabriel glared intently at a smirking Chat Noir. “Adrien, this is a bad idea.”

“I kind of know that, Dad,” Chat sighed, shrugging in resignation. “Ladybug is the one with the good ideas. I just destroy everything…but I want to see her.”

Gabriel exhaled slowly, carding a hand through his hair. “Very well. Just don’t go like that. I don’t want you parkouring off of rooftops after she’s upset you. I’d rather let you go as Adrien and have a safe way to get you home. Detransform and go and get your phone from Nathalie. I’ll have Victor take you to the Place des Vosges.”

Adrien’s face brightened as he caught Gabriel in a hug. “Thanks, Dad.”

“I know I’m going to regret this,” Gabriel muttered, patting his son gently on the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a lot of fun with Gabriel Knows. ^.^ I hope you are too.
> 
> Next is Elise. I don't have the chapter done yet, so I'm not sure if it will be complete to post on Tuesday 06/18/2019. We shall see.
> 
> See you soon!


	18. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien tries to be discrete at the photoshoot.  
> Elise takes that plan to hell in a handbasket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to Day Eighteen.
> 
> Introducing: Elise.

_“Phalanges…metatarsals…the one that’s the same as the ancient writing system….”_ Elise O’Leary bit her lip but then stopped when she realized it was messing up her lipstick.

Makeup would be furious if she got sent back to them…again.

It hit her: _“Cuneiforms. Then…cube something…. Cuboid…calcaneus…talus…and one more.”_

“—ise. Elise?”

Elise whipped around to see Marinette looking absolutely frazzled. “Sorry. I was trying to remember something. What did you say?”

“I said that Victoire is having a little trouble with her shoot. It will be at least twenty minutes before we’re ready for you, if you want to go sit down. I’ll come get you when it’s time,” Marinette informed, checking her notepad and beginning to chew on the inside of her cheek.

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

Marinette nodded and started on her way out of the dressing tent.

“Hey,” Elise called after her.

Marinette nearly tripped as she stopped and looked up. “Hm?”

“Are you okay, Sweetie?” Elise tentatively inquired. “You don’t look so great.”

Marinette put on a weary smile, trying to fake it. “I think Monsieur Agreste is trying to assassinate me,” she chuckled. “He expects a lot out of his interns…and I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately. I had a fight with a friend that’s really weighing on me, so…” She shrugged, pretending it was no big deal.

Elise nodded. “Not…what was her name? …Alya?”

Marinette shook her head. “Another friend…. I hurt them pretty bad, so…”

“…I’m sorry,” Elise mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

Marinette attempted another brave smile. “I have to go, but thanks for asking, Elise.” She waved as she turned and strode out of the tent with purpose.

Elise sighed and pulled off her shoe to look down at her foot where she had labeled the bones to help her study for her test on Tuesday. “Navicular,” she read. “Navicular. That was it. That was the one I missed.”

She looked to the side at her reflection in the mirror and blew out a frustrated puff of air. Did she really need to be able to name all of the bones in the foot to be a good pediatrician? Probably not, but she did need to be able to pass her test to maintain her grades and keep her scholarship.

With another sigh and a toss of her long, auburn hair, Elise made her way outside with the intention of watching Victoire’s portion of the shoot.

Plans changed, however, when she spotted a familiar blonde boy some ways away on the periphery of the park, leaning against the trunk of one of the trees in the corner by the playground, surreptitiously watching the photoshoot from afar.

Elise bit her lip, momentarily weighing the pros and cons before deciding on “screw it”.

Adrien didn’t even seem to notice her approach, he was so absorbed in the action. An obvious look of longing was plastered on his face. Coupled with his intermittent sighs, it was easy for Elise to diagnose lovesickness…and that was interesting.

Before they had started dating, Adrien told her that he was already in love with someone else whom he was trying to get over, and when he’d broken up with Elise, he’d admitted that he was still so far gone on the other girl that he wasn’t able to be in a relationship with _her_. Now, either Adrien had gotten over the one girl and fallen hard for another in the month since he and Elise had broken up, or the girl Adrien was stuck on was present at the photoshoot.

That was _very_ interesting.

Elise looked back at the shoot, taking in Victoire trying to look fresh and full of vitality when she was so obviously hung over. Victoire was twenty-six and probably not the object of Adrien’s affections.

Eponine, a cute blonde of nineteen, was leaning against the fence encircling the park with twenty-year-old Coralie who was twirling a long strand of her brunette wig round and round her finger. Both girls were nice enough. Coralie was a bit of an airhead that Elise couldn’t really see Adrien interested in, and Eponine mostly concerned herself with yoga, manicures, and jocks. While by no means dumb, Eponine was a little too shallow for Adrien.

That left Simone with her dirty blonde hair and her big brown eyes. She was witty and well-read. A little quiet but nice once you got her talking. She could possibly be Adrien’s type.

Elise looked back and forth between Adrien and Simone.

Yes. It definitely seemed that Adrien was gazing wistfully in the direction of where Simone was having her outfit straightened and fussed over by a very harried looking Marinette.

…Marinette.

Marinette whom Adrien talked about constantly. Marinette whom Adrien always spent his time with. Marinette, Adrien’s very best friend.

“Oh,” Elise gasped as many things that had occurred during the month and a half she had dated Adrien took on new significance. All the times he already had plans “with a friend”…who suddenly wasn’t Nino. All of the times she’d caught him smiling at his phone over an incoming text…

It stung a bit, but knowing that it had been _Marinette_ that Elise had lost out to made it more bearable. Marinette had gone out of her way to befriend Elise after she and Adrien started dating, and Marinette had always been there to talk and explain whenever Adrien did something frustrating or weird. Marinette had been a sort of “users’ manual”. Marinette had been unfailingly kind and supportive.

Marinette hadn’t known about Adrien’s feelings for her.

Maybe Marinette _still_ didn’t know.

“Adrien?” Elise called.

Adrien jumped, head whipping around. His facial features did somersaults from surprise to terror to absolute panic as he registered her identity.

“E-Elise?!” he squeaked and then quickly cleared his throat to correct his pitch. “What are you doing here?”

The fear and mortification on his face were without price. Absolutely adorable.

“Working,” Elise chortled. “Some of us have to pay our own way through medical school, Candy Floss,” she teased, laughing harder as his face went crimson.

“S-Sorry,” Adrien choked.

“No worries,” she assured, coming to stand next to him.

He tensed.

She laughed. “Take it easy. I’m not going to bite you.”

Adrien did not lower his guard. “Sorry. It’s just…the last time I saw you…”

He had been breaking up with her.

“I just kind of expected you to hold a grudge or something. Not that I think you’re the type of person to hold a grudge,” he quickly backpedaled, waving his arms frantically, panic in his eyes. “I mean, I know what an awesome person you are, but—”

“—Adrien,” Elise did him the kindness of cutting him off. “Relax. We’re good.”

Still he squirmed. “…Yeah?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” she stressed. “It’s been a month. I’ve moved on.”

“…Oh.” Adrien re-crossed his arms, looking back out at the photoshoot. “Good. That’s good. I…It kind of slipped my mind that other people do that. Move on…. I just thought you’d hate me because I was so horrible to you.”

Elise shrugged, flipping her waist-length red hair over her shoulder. “You weren’t that bad.”

Adrien shot her an incredulous look. “I was emotionally cheating on you for the entire duration of our relationship.”

Elise shrugged again. “And yet, you are not the worst boyfriend I’ve ever had. I’ve had guys physically cheat on me, and they didn’t feel bad about it. I’ve dated emotionally abusive guys before. I’ve dated guys who were only with me because they wanted to sleep with me. In the grand scheme of things, you being a total flake and always cancelling or forgetting about plans was annoying and at times hurtful, but… You _told_ me you were in love with someone else that you were trying to get over. I thought you’d gradually fall for me and things would work out, but…”

Adrien looked away. “Sorry.”

Elise shook her head slowly. “I liked when you brought me flowers. I liked that you actually listened when I talked to you and seemed like you cared about what I had to say. I liked that you felt bad about lying to me. I liked that you brought me candy when you felt bad about lying to me. Adrien, I kind of knew that things weren’t working after three weeks of dating you. It was stupid of me to hold out hoping you’d change.”

“I’m still sorry I dragged you into my quarter-life crisis,” Adrien sighed.

“Don’t be,” she chuckled, cheerily informing, “Dating you increased my public visibility and made marketing myself easier. I’ve gotten a lot more job offers since I started dating you.”

Adrien gave an ironic snort at that, a tentative smile starting to peek through his apprehension. “Well, at least things worked out for one of us.”

The mirth slowly drained out of Elise as she frowned in concern. “Things not going well for you, Candy Floss?”

Adrien shook his head. “I’m kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel.” He glanced back to where Marinette was straightening Coralie’s wig.

Elise looked too, pursing her lips. “Things aren’t going well with Marinette?”

Adrien jumped, terror coming back onto his face. “W-What?”

“She’s the girl you’re in love with, isn’t she?” Elise smiled hesitantly.

Adrien stared abashedly, his mouth hanging open. “How…?”

“Deductive reasoning,” Elise confessed. “I saw you watching the shoot and looking like a lovesick puppy, so I figured you had either magically managed to fall in love with someone else or that the girl you were in love with was one of the models or staff. It made sense that it was Marinette.”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed miserably. “It makes so much sense that it’s Marinette.”

“You should tell her how you feel,” Elise urged, giving Adrien’s arm a playful nudge. “You two are such close friends, I bet it would be an easy transition to dating.”

Adrien paled. “Elise—”

“—No, seriously,” she insisted. “Marinette adores you. We used to talk about you all the time when you and I were dating, and she always stood up for you and really seemed to _understand_ you. She already loves you; I bet she could fall _in love_ with you if given a little push. Come on. I’ll totally be your wingman.”

“Elise,” Adrien groaned softly. “Thank you. I appreciate it, but things are really, really complicated with Marinette right now.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Fine. If you want to languish in love with her when you two could be happy, that’s none of my business, Candy Floss. Go ahead and wait until you’re ready, but, in the meantime…” She grabbed his wrist and started pulling him closer to the shoot. “at least come say hi.”

“W-What?” Adrien tripped forward after Elise. “N-No! No, no, no. Elise!”

She’d gotten him several meters before he regained his balance enough to dig his heels in.

“You don’t understand. I can’t—”

“—Hey, M&M!” Elise shouted, waving.

Marinette looked up and froze, alarm and guilt seizing her as she caught sight of Adrien.

Plagg pinched Adrien in an attempt to remind his chosen to breathe, and the only thing that kept Adrien on his feet was the intense need to look dignified in front of Marinette.

Elise missed the cues completely and called out again. “Marinette, come over here a second. Look who came to say hi!”

Marinette briefly debated telling Elise she was too busy to talk, but the anxious look on Adrien’s face gave her pause. If Marinette made excuses, it might seem dismissive and make Adrien feel rejected. As much as Marinette really couldn’t handle Adrien right at that moment, she also couldn’t hurt him by walking away. She didn’t want to hurt him again. She’d already done enough.

Tucking a stray bang back behind her ear, Marinette resolutely made her way over to Adrien and Elise. “H-Hello,” she greeted shyly.

“H-Hi,” Adrien managed in a very small, fragile voice. He cleared his throat. “Hi, Marinette.”

Elise frowned.

Marinette bit her lip and glanced off to the side. “So…what brings you here, Adrien?” She had meant it to sound friendly and polite, as if she were interested in learning what he was up to, but it came out a little tense because of her nerves, and it ended up sounding accusatory.

“I am so sorry,” Adrien whispered contritely, rushing to get the words out. “I didn’t mean—I was never going to talk to you. You weren’t supposed to know I was here. I didn’t mean to interrupt your work, and I’m really sorry about this. I know you told me not to text or call or talk to you, and I swear I wasn’t going to. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just—”

“—Marinette, Adrien, I am so sorry,” Elise interrupted, and both parties turned to gawk at her in confusion.

“Marinette, _I’m_ the one who invited Adrien,” Elise explained, trying to undo the damage she had unknowingly caused.

A nonplussed frown slowly formed on Marinette’s face. “ _You_ did?”

“Yes,” Elise insisted. “We were going to get coffee together, so I asked him to meet me here so we could go after the shoot.”

Marinette balked at this. “What?! Are…Are you two…getting back together or something?”

Elise laughed heartily. “No. Absolutely not. We just ran into each other and decided we wanted to try to reconnect as friends. So…coffee.” Elise shrugged by way of explanation. “But I told him the wrong time on purpose so that he’d show up during the shoot and see me all dolled up. You know. Just a little harmless revenge. Show him what he’s missing out on.”

Marinette nodded, slowly processing Elise’s words. “Oh. Okay. That makes sense.”

“I’m so sorry, M&M.” Elise reached out and clasped the hand in which Marinette was not currently gripping her notepad. “I had no idea that this was going to be a problem. I never would have done something like this if I had known.”

“No, Elise,” Marinette assured, giving the older girl’s hand a squeeze. “It’s okay. It’s no one’s fault.” Marinette tentatively turned to Adrien who sucked in a sharp breath. “Adrien, I’m really glad that you’re making plans with friends.” She hesitated, wondering if it would help or hurt before she added, “I’ve been really worried.”

Adrien blushed, nervously fingering the bruise hidden under his scarf. “Thanks. Um…speaking of making plans with friends…” He knew the answer was no even before he asked, but… “It’s Saturday. I know we skipped last week for obvious reasons, but…would you want to get Chinese and watch anime tonight, or…?”

Marinette winced, and Adrien regretted saying anything. She looked down at her shoes as she kicked at the dirt. She shook her head sadly.

“Th-That’s okay,” he rushed to assure, spiting out the lie as fast as he could. “I mean, I figured, but…maybe…maybe next week?” he inquired hopefully.

Two weeks was enough “space”, right?

Marinette grimaced. “Adrien…probably not next week.”

“O-Oh.” Adrien’s throat felt dry. “That’s…Okay. Yeah. That’s…”

Adrien had expected this to blow over much, much sooner.

“…fine. I mean, let me know if you change your mind. I’m…” His tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth. “I’m always an option,” he whispered with a paste-on smile.

Marinette closed her eyes and took a measured breath. It looked as if his words had physically pierced one of her lungs.

“But if you don’t change your mind, I’ll still be free the Saturday after that, so…” he tried.

Marinette slowly shook her head, prying her damp eyes open to meet his. “Adrien? I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. Right now, I can’t tell you how long it’s going to take for things to go back to the way they were before. When I know, you’ll be the first person I tell, but…until then, I really need some space, okay?”

“You think this is going to take longer than three weeks?” Adrien squeaked in dismay.

Marinette shook her head more vehemently. “Adrien, I don’t know. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I’m sorry.”

Adrien wilted, whispering, “So am I.”

He never should have told her the truth. He should have kept his identity to himself.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Marinette whimpered.

It was the same thing Ladybug told Chat Noir every time before she said something she knew was going to hurt him.

“Noted,” Adrien mumbled. “So…I guess I’ll…not call you…and keep not texting you and not talking to you.”

“Please,” Marinette entreated. “…And keep making plans with your other friends instead.”

Adrien made a half-hearted noise of agreement directed down at their feet.

Marinette cleared her throat. “I have to go.”

Adrien’s gaze snapped up. The words “please stay” were on the tip of his tongue because even though she was telling him things he didn’t want to hear, at least she was talking to him…and she wouldn’t be talking to him again for upwards of two more weeks once she walked away.

She put on a brave, tired smile.

Now that he really looked at her, he realized that Marinette looked exhausted, that deep, bone-weariness that Adrien had been feeling lately.

They were in the same boat. She found this draining too. She didn’t really want to do this either.

He returned her smile with a melancholy yet hopeful one of his own. “Okay. Thanks for taking the time out to say hi.”

“Sure.” She shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. It was good to see you. It’s just your father is a bit of a slave driver, so I can’t chat for too long.”

“He’s really impressed by you,” Adrien hurriedly informed, stealing just a few more seconds with her. “He admires your work, and he wants to keep seeing you grow and succeed.”

Marinette stared at him speechlessly, and it was several beats before she found her voice. “Did he say that?”

Adrien shrugged. “More or less.”

A genuine smile finally broke through Marinette’s guilt and weariness. “Wow. Thank you.”

“You earned it,” he assured fondly, wishing they had more time. He’d sit with her and tell her about all the ways in which she was talented and worthy of praise and attention.

Adrien threw in one of his patented winks and did an internal victory dance as he watched her blush.

She still had feelings for him. Maybe he hadn’t ruined everything.

Marinette smiled bashfully, holding his gaze for a few electrically charged seconds before turning to Elise. “Seven minutes, okay?”

Elise nodded awkwardly.

“Have fun getting coffee.” Marinette gave a little finger wave as she turned to go.

Adrien waved back even though Marinette couldn’t see.

“Sorry for all the drama,” Adrien sighed to Elise as he watched Marinette walk away, unable to take his eyes off of her.

“Adrien, I am so sorry that happened,” Elise returned, feeling awful for what she’d unwittingly dragged him through.

Adrien shrugged. “It’s my fault for being somewhere I’m not supposed to be…. Thanks for covering for me being a creepy stalker, by the way. I swear I just…I wanted to see her. I haven’t seen her in forever. She’s avoiding me at school, and I’m not allowed to call or text or email or anything, so…I just wanted to see her and make sure she’s doing okay.”

He looked up tentatively. “Does it seem like she’s doing okay?”

Elise bit her lip but then caught herself and stopped before she could mess up her lipstick. “No. I just asked her today, since she’s looked a little run down this past week, and it sounds like she’s pretty torn up over…whatever happened with you.”

Adrien frowned. Part of him was glad he wasn’t the only one suffering, but a bigger part deeply regretted that he had brought this upon his Lady. He knew how wrecked he was feeling, and he didn’t want to drag her down with him.

“I told her I loved her. Like, three weeks ago. I kissed her and then I ran off and I avoided her for a week and a half because I didn’t have the spine to face her. Last week she cornered me, and we finally talked about it…and things blew up,” Adrien explained. “She has feelings for me too, but…apparently, I’m not emotionally stable enough to date, and there was this other guy she was interested in, but I kind of ruined her chances with him, so I think she’s disappointed in me, and…like I said, it’s really, really complicated.”

“Oh, Candy Floss,” Elise whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Adrien shook his head. “Thanks, but I’ve done it all to myself. I haven’t really been thinking the past four months, and that’s gotten me into all this trouble…. I appreciate the sympathy, though.”

“…Adrien, would you actually want to go get coffee after this?” Elise tentatively proposed. “Marinette has to see us leave together so that the story appears to check out, but what’s to stop us from actually getting coffee? Unless you’re busy.”

“I…” Adrien considered the offer for a moment. “I don’t actually have anything to do. My father has cut my workload to practically nothing, and my friend group is a little compromised because of the Marinette situation, so…I could actually really use a friend, if you’re willing to hang out with a walking dumpster fire.”

“I’d be happy to spend time with you, Adrien,” Elise chuckled, giving Adrien a playful nudge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That wasn't as bad as it could have been, right? What do we think? 
> 
> What do we think of Elise? I had fun with her. I also had fun memorizing the names of the different bones making up the foot. #Mikau Does Too Much Research (I almost wrote on my own foot to see what that would actually look like.... I still might. Mummsie would flip; she hates it when I write on myself.)
> 
> I don't know if I'll have an update for you tomorrow. I'm sorry. I tried to keep out in front of myself, but... I guess, in the grand scheme of things, I've written about 45,000 words in the past nineteen days, so... ^.^; Updating eighteen days in a row is pretty impressive, I think.
> 
> I'll see you guys again as soon as I can. In the words of Alya, "Restez connecté!"


	19. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien struggles with the concept of "loving yourself".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Good to see you again. Did you miss me? I missed you. I'm still working on catching up on comments. Sorry again about that. Thank you for reading and commenting and leaving kudos and bookmarking anyway. As always, your support is sincerely appreciated. It makes me so happy to know that people are enjoying my work.
> 
> Okay, so the update plan for the week is Monday 06/24/2019, Wednesday 06/26/2019, and Friday 06/28/2019. We'll go from there. Chapters have gotten longer, so it's no longer possible to get one up every day. Thanks for your patience.

Coffee was extended into a walk down to the Seine, and as Adrien and Elise strolled, talking animatedly, they heard the iconic cry of André the ice cream man.

Elise visibly perked up, gaining another inch so that she almost stood as tall as Adrien.

“You want ice cream? After that grande vanilla bean frappuccino you just drank?” Adrien snickered. “Aren’t you worried about your girlish figure?”

“Stuff it. Curves are sexy, Candy Floss,” Elise snorted, grabbing his arm and tugging him towards the ice cream cart.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Adrien chuckled, deigning to be led.

André greeted them warmly and asked for their order.

“Surprise us,” Elise decreed, as excited as a wriggling child as she watched André scoop out three different flavors: cookies and cream, birthday cake, and cookie dough.

“For a sweet girl who deserves a sweet sweetheart,” André announced.

Elise gave a squeal of delight as she accepted her cone.

“He’s got your number,” Adrien teased.

“Leave my sweet tooth alone, Agreste.” Elise playfully stuck out her tongue at Adrien before putting it to work on the ice cream.

“And for the young gentleman?” André prompted.

Adrien shook his head. “You know best, André.” He fully expected to be given his usual.

André nodded. “Right now, it seems to me that you need this: lemon for his hair, mint for his eyes, and cherry for his lips.”

Adrien blinked owlishly as he exchanged the money in his hand for the ice cream cone. “Uhh…Thank you?”

“Be well,” André responded before turning to the next person in line.

Adrien and Elise took their ice cream and went to sit down with their feet dangling over the edge of the embankment with the river down below them.

“That was odd,” Adrien remarked. “Typically, I get Marinette-themed ice cream, but today…my true love is apparently a man with blonde hair, green eyes, and cherry lips.”

“Sounds like a hunk,” Elise giggled, happily lapping at her own sugar bomb. “I wouldn’t be complaining.”

Adrien shrugged. “Actually, I could definitely go for a Prince Charming right about now,” he sighed. “I wouldn’t mind if some hot guy wanted to sweep me off my feet and kiss it all better.”

Elise nearly choked on a cookies and cream chunk when she realized that Adrien was serious. “O-Oh?”

Elise’s brain conjured up the first green-eyed blonde male it could think of, and Elise had to admit that the image of Chat Noir kissing Adrien better was…not bad, to say the least.

“Actually working to rescue yourself from depression is hard,” Adrien continued obliviously. “If someone else could do the heavy lifting for me…I wouldn’t say no. Somehow, I don’t think that’s how this works, though.”

Adrien frowned, staring at his ice cream intently. “I typically like people with black hair and blue eyes. I don’t know what this is all about.” He gestured vaguely to the cone.

Elise squinted, studying the treat and looking back and forth between the cone and Adrien until it suddenly clicked. “Oh, Candy Floss. It’s  _you_.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

“It’s you,” Elise reiterated. “Your hair, your eyes, your lips… I think André was trying to tell you that you need to love yourself right now.”

Adrien stared at the ice cream pensively. It really was a distorted reflection of himself.

“Weeping angels,” he cursed softly. “I don’t _want_ to have to love myself. I want someone else to do that for me.”

“I know you’re partially joking,” Elise hummed, voice low and reassuring. “but be serious with me for a minute?”

“Sure.” Adrien took a bite of the lemon ice cream on top.

“How is someone else going to love you if not even you love you?” she prompted.

“What is there to love?” Adrien asked in earnest. “But if anyone could do it, it would be Marinette.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Okay. Yeah. Marinette is a beast at everything she sets her mind to, but…come on. How is that fair?”

Adrien didn’t answer.

Elise let it go, seeing that she had made her point.

“…What does that even mean ‘love yourself’?” Adrien mumbled into his ice cream. “How do you ‘love yourself’? I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen that in real life before.”

“First off, _you_ need to start being nicer to Adrien,” Elise announced, sending him a disappointed pout. “You’re such a jerk to him.”

Adrien gawked at his companion. “I don’t understand. I _am_ Adrien.”

“And you’re a first-class jerk to Adrien,” Elise confirmed with a sage nod. “Think of it like this. Pretend that you’re two different people.”

“Done,” Adrien snickered.

“Okay. Would you ever tell another person ‘what is there to love about you’?” she inquired, leaving Adrien floored. “Would you say something like that to me?”

“No!” Adrien’s cheeks burst into flame. “No, absolutely not.”

“Then why is it okay for you to say things like that about yourself?” Elise challenged.

Adrien’s mind went blank. All he could come up with was “because it’s true”, but he didn’t think Elise would like that answer.

“You can’t think of a good reason, can you?” Elise nodded knowingly. “So watch what you think and say about yourself. Think of you as a person separate from yourself and be nicer. That will be your first assignment. After that…how do you express your love for others—romantic love or otherwise?”

Adrien thought for a moment. “Well, these past four months I’m doing a pretty lousy job, but…when you love someone, you buy them gifts and spend time with them. You tell them you love them. Is that what you mean?”

Elise nodded encouragingly. “Yes. That’s exactly it. You compliment the other person and you help take care of them. You do them favors and do thoughtful things for them just because. Those are the kinds of things you need to start doing for yourself, Adrien. That’s how you love yourself…and if you start loving yourself, maybe you’ll slowly come to like yourself too.”

Adrien scoffed reflexively. “Somehow, I doubt it. I’ve sort of become the kind of guy who deserves to be taken out back and shot recently. I don’t think it will be so easy to like me.”

Elise gave Adrien’s leg a swat. “Be nice. There you go again. You would never say something like that about another person.”

“But it’s true!” Adrien whined. “I’m kind of disgusted with myself as of late.”

“Okay,” Elise sighed, gathering her patience. She wished Marinette was there to explain this to him.  _She_  would be able to get through to him. “Here’s an example. If you thought someone was fat, would you say that out loud?”

“No.” Adrien scrunched up his nose.

“And what if I was a skank? What if I really was? Would you call me a skank to my face?” she demanded.

“…No.” Slowly the pieces were beginning to come together.

“Why not, if it’s the truth?” she pressed.

“Because you just don’t say things like that about other people,” Adrien muttered, realization dawning upon him. “Oh.”

“Yes!” Elise stressed in excitement for the breakthrough.

“So…I shouldn’t talk that way about myself either,” Adrien concluded.

“Yes,” Elise confirmed. “Be nice to yourself.”

“That…might take some practice,” Adrien murmured into his ice cream, licking up the side to keep it from dripping.

“I mean, you have time,” Elise informed.

Adrien nodded. “…Thanks…. How do you know this? Is this something they teach you somewhere, and I just missed out on the lesson because I was homeschooled, or…?”

Elise laughed, smiling sadly. “It’s something I had to learn myself. This one guy I was dating really messed me up. I wasn’t even in love with him or anything. I just…I had unrealistic expectations of relationships in general, and I ended up relying on him for my self-worth. It didn’t end well, and I kind of had to build myself back up from the ground level. It’s like what you’re doing. Marinette can’t be your everything. She may secretly be Superman, but she can’t support you in your entirety. You have to find your own happiness apart from her, your own value separate from being with her. You have to be able to be okay without her in order to be okay with her.”

Elise looked up with a bashful smile. “Sorry. Do I sound too preachy? It’s just…this is something I had to do for myself too, so I can’t help but see myself in you.”

“No.” Adrien shook his head vigorously. “Thank you. I think I really needed to hear that.”

Elise nodded, looking back out at the Ile de la Cité. “Good. I’m glad you think what I said was helpful. I know everyone’s case is different, so yours won’t work out in exactly the same way that mine did, but…I hope you eventually get there, Candy Floss. You’re a sweet kid, and I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you,” Adrien whispered. “…You’re really awesome…especially after how I messed up with you.”

Elise shrugged. “You’re young. Youth is a time to make mistakes, and at least you apologized for yours.”

“You say that like you’re not young anymore,” Adrien observed.

Elise shrugged. “I’m twenty-one. I feel old at the moment. I’ll feel like a kid again tomorrow. Age ebbs and flows. I think that’s part of growing up. I’ll be young so long as I can enjoy ice cream like this.”

“Until it gives you diabetes,” Adrien snickered with a wink.

Elise poked him with her elbow. “You know, that drives me nuts when people say that. That is NOT how you get diabetes. Diabetes is genetic. Cavities is what I need to be worried about.”

Adrien put up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, and she joined in.

The laughter died down, and Adrien bit his lip. “So…I don’t suppose you’re free this evening?”

“I don’t have anything planned. I was just going to put away two weeks’ worth of laundry so that I’m not living out of the laundry hamper. Why?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you like Chinese food and anime? Marinette and I usually meet up for Chinese and anime on Saturdays, but…and I kind of miss that,” Adrien confessed. “I was wondering if you…?”

Elise considered for a moment. She had no problem with Chinese or anime, but…it was probably for the best if she avoided becoming a substitute. “Chinese food isn’t really my favourite, and anime…meh. I’ll tell you what, though. If you want to get sushi and show me a couple episodes of that Doctor Who show you were talking about, I thought that sounded interesting. How does that sound?”

Adrien’s face lit up. “That sounds awesome! Let me call my dad and make sure it’s okay for you to come over!”

 

Elise left around eight, refusing the offered ride and Adrien’s attempts to walk her home.

“I’ll text you in twenty minutes once I get there,” she chuckled, mussing his hair as she turned to go.

“Can I call you sometime?” he called after her at the gate.

She looked back at him with a puzzled expression. “You mean to hang out again?”

He nodded tentatively.

“Sure. I’ll get coffee and ogle David Tennant with you anytime!” she chuckled. “You can help me memorize all the internal organs for my exam too.”

“Deal!” he agreed enthusiastically.

Gabriel poked his head out of his office as Adrien shut the front door. “That was your ex-girlfriend?”

Adrien nodded. “Elise O’Leary. She’s great. She really helped out today. I had a lot of fun.”

Gabriel frowned. “Great…in a romantic way?”

Adrien laughed and shook his head. “Great in the sense that she’s a good friend. Completely platonic.”

Gabriel hummed. “Then I don’t have to be concerned about leaving you two alone in your room?”

“Nope,” Adrien confirmed. “The remaining shreds of my virtue are safe with Elise.”

Gabriel frowned even more deeply at the self-deprecating jest.

“Don’t make that face,” Adrien sighed. “I’m kidding. I haven’t slept with anyone, and I’m not going to. I’m only interested in Marinette.”

Gabriel pursed his lips. “You’re not considering dating anyone else?” he sought to confirm.

“No, Dad. I’m finished dating. I’m just spending time with friends now. I’m okay,” he assured.

Gabriel nodded slowly. “All right. That’s good to hear. You look okay.”

Adrien laughed. “Thanks. You look okay too. Goodnight, Dad. I love you.”

Gabriel smiled tentatively. “I love you too, Son.”

 

Adrien toweled off and pulled on his pajamas, padding across the expansive bathroom on his way to turn in early. He caught sight of his reflection in the massive mirror and stopped to consider himself.

He cleared his throat. “So…”

Compliments. He did this all the time. Why was this suddenly so hard?

“Just…be Chat Noir,” he coached. “…and talk to Adrien.”

He took a deep breath, let it out, and settled into character.

“Hey there, Handsome,” Chat purred, giving Adrien an appreciative once over.

Adrien frowned. “Handsome…isn’t really the best nickname.”

“Well, what do you want me to call you?” Chat sighed. “Beautiful? Hot Stuff? Beau Gosse?”

Adrien winced at the pet name Marinette usually used when she was in a teasing mood.

“How about Sweetheart? Does that sound sleazy?” Chat tried. “Hey there, Sweetheart. What’s a guy like you doing in a mansion like this?”

Adrien looked unimpressed and uncomfortable.

Chat frowned. “Sweet Prince?”

Adrien chuckled. “Like what Horatio calls Hamlet? ‘Goodnight, Sweet Prince’.”

Chat’s frown deepened in exasperation. “God, you’re difficult. How am I supposed to flirt with you if we can’t even get past pet names?”

“Were you supposed to be flirting with me?” Adrien wondered. “You’re supposed to be complimenting me.”

Chat shrugged dismissively. “Same thing. I’m supposed to be loving you—which you are making extremely hard. You know, I have a feeling that normal people don’t have to put this much effort into giving themselves compliments.”

Adrien averted his gaze. “God, I suck at this.”

Chat was silent for a minute or so as Adrien collected his thoughts.

“Hey,” Chat called softly. “Dri.”

It was an old nickname his mother and brother had used for him. El, Em, Fé, and Dri. Only Bridgette and Noëlle called him that now.

Adrien looked up.

“You have beautiful eyes,” Chat whispered. “Like verdant fields of young wheat. Your eyes are like spring, full of the promise of rich abundance, waiting to burst into bloom…. I’d like to be the one to make you bloom,” Chat added, voice low and silky and inviting.

Adrien giggled. “Chat Noir, you’d have to take me to dinner first. I’m not that easy.”

Chat rolled his eyes. “You play hard to get, but I know where all your buttons are.”

Adrien rolled his eyes in return. “What was the point of this exercise again? Were you supposed to be trying to get me into bed with you?”

Chat pursed his lips. “…No. Sorry. It’s just…it’s hard to give compliments without flirting, and I know I can push you harder than anyone without crossing a line when it comes to being suggestive, so…”

“It’s okay,” Adrien sighed. “So…I have beautiful eyes…. Try again?”

“Sure,” Chat easily agreed but then failed to continue.

“Well?” Adrien prompted.

“I’m thinking. This is hard,” Chat whined. “I mean…yeah. You look great. Plenty of people want to throw you down on a bed and use you up, but is that really a compliment? Does the fact that you’re sexually attractive give you self-worth? Doesn’t that just make you feel objectified?”

Adrien sighed. “I figuratively suck at this. I can’t even do positive self-talk right. Is it really so hard to say ‘Gosh, Adrien. You’re a really nice person. I like you.’?”

“You don’t think you’re a nice person,” Chat mumbled ruefully. “And I think that telling yourself that you suck is counterproductive.”

Adrien had no words with which to respond.

“Adrien?” Chat called, attempting to get them back on topic.

Adrien met Chat’s gaze in the mirror.

“I love you,” Chat whispered tenderly.

Adrien let out a weary laugh. “Liar,” he accused without heat.

Chat fell silent, a wounded expression casting a shadow over his face.

A stab of guilt got Adrien in the gut. Chat was trying. Adrien was not.

Adrien cleared his throat. “I…I like your jokes. You’re really funny.”

Chat looked up tentatively.

“I like that about you,” Adrien continued. “You make me laugh. I like that you’re goofy.”

Chat leaned in closer in interest. “Go on,” he purred.

“And you’re brave,” Adrien continued. “You’re always willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of Paris. That’s really noble.”

Chat chuckled ironically. “We both know whom I’m really sacrificing myself for, and it has nothing to do with Paris.”

“Still,” Adrien argued. “Your dedication and willingness to take those hits is admirable. You are brave, regardless of your motivation. I like your bravery. You’re cool, and you do a good job of being a superhero. It’s not easy fitting in time to save Paris what with everything else going on in your life, so it’s actually super impressive that you make the effort to show up every time. I like your dedication.”

“I’m not the only one who’s dedicated, you know,” Chat softly reminded. “Mr. Fencing-Chinese-Piano-Basketball-Model-Superhero. You’re pretty impressive yourself.”

Adrien scoffed. “Yeah. Way to go me and my time management skills. Big deal,” he whispered sarcastically. “Especially when Nathalie does all the hard work of making the schedule.”

“Okay, but still. Maybe it is a big deal,” Chat reasoned. “I mean…not only do you do those things, but you’re actually pretty good at them too. Except maybe basketball. Because you’re so short.”

“I’m five-nine in shoes,” Adrien retorted. “That is a respectable height. I’m average height for a French male.”

“How tall are you without the shoes?” Chat snickered.

“Average height,” Adrien repeated defencively. “And I  _am_  good at basketball because I’m fast and I can jump. Aren’t you supposed to be making me feel good?”

Chat smirked hungrily. “If you want me to make you feel good, we’ll need to take this next door into your bedroom. I’m not opposed to doing this standing up, but…”

Adrien stared at Chat in disbelief. “Are you even serious? What is wrong with you?”

“I’m eighteen,” Chat pouted. “My hormones are maddening. It’s normal to think about sex all the time. Don’t pretend you’re all pure and innocent, Agreste.”

Adrien blushed, muttering down at the granite countertop. “At least have standards.”

“You meet my standards,” Chat teased.

“I don’t think we’re doing this loving ourselves thing right. It’s supposed to be about my self-esteem.” Adrien reached up to rub at the green remains of the bruises on his neck.

“At least you’re trying,” Chat encouraged. “At least you got out of bed today and did something fun. Just…keep trying, okay?”

Adrien took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay. I can do this. I just…have to do the same things I do to show other people I love them.”

He looked up at his reflection and grinned. “Will you go out with me?”

Chat quirked an eyebrow. “Depends. Are you going to treat me better than you’ve treated your posse of girlfriends?”

“Yes,” Adrien promised. “I’m going to be so good to you. I’m going to tell you how wonderful you are and buy you flowers and pain au chocolat and manga. I’m not going to say mean things about you. I’m not going to be judgmental or hyper-critical or demanding. I’m…I’m going to take care of you.”

Chat looked dubious. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to try.” Adrien bit his lip. “Because I desperately want someone to love you. More than anything, I want someone to love you as much as I…” He gulped. “…I want someone to love you, so why not me? Why can’t it be me?”

“You’re the only one who’s stopping you,” Chat whispered.

“No more,” Adrien promised. “So will you go out with me? …I’ve always wanted to date a superhero.”

Chat laughed. “You and me both…. Okay. All right, Adrien Agreste. I’ll go out with you, but I reserve the right to dump you if you don’t keep your word.”

“Deal,” Adrien assured, leaning in to brush his lips to Chat’s.

The mirror was cold and unyielding against his mouth.

Adrien blinked, pulling back. He scrunched up his nose. “This is really, really silly,” he sighed.

_“Yeah, but did it seem to help? Did it make you feel better?”_ his inner voice prompted.

“A little?” Adrien ran a hand through his still-damp hair.

_“Then maybe you should keep doing it.”_

“What? Talking to myself like a crazy person?” Adrien snorted.

_“Talking to yourself like you_ are _a person.”_

Adrien studied his reflection, considering this for a moment.

Without replying, Adrien turned and headed into his bedroom. He needed to go for a run to clear his head. There hadn’t been an akuma attack in about a month, and Chat was itching to stretch his legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter was silly and yet meaningful. I know that loving myself and taking care of myself is something I really struggle with. Literally on Saturday my mum told me that I needed to put some effort into taking care of myself, and I replied, "But...I just don't care enough about me for that to be a motivating factor. If it were my kids, I would, but...". So, you see, I'm bad at this, and Adrien is bad at this too. He'll get better.
> 
> QUESTION: Show of hands, please. Who has a two to four year-old human child? I ask because I'm strongly considering a chapter with Bridgette, Félix, and Noëlle. Adrien and Noëlle, of course, will be all over each other because Adrien is a doting uncle and Uncle Dri is Noëlle's favourite person. This presents a problem because I have no experience with human children. My kids are biologically canine, so the developmental stages are different. I've been looking at one of my brother's textbooks on child development, but reading about something and experiencing something firsthand are utterly different, so I was hoping for someone who would be able to tell me "this is how two year-olds speak", "this is how a two year-old would act" to help me if/when I write this chapter. Thanks in advance!
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys. See you on Wednesday!


	20. Impulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien tries really hard not to call Marinette and unexpectedly makes some progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Good to see you again. Thanks for joining me, and thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos. Thank you as well to everyone who has bookmarked this story. I'm so excited that you guys are enjoying this! Thank you as well to everyone who responded to my question about child development. You were all very helpful, and I really appreciate you taking the time to do that.

“Plagg?” Adrien called as he returned to his bedroom. “Wanna go for a run? I’ll give you extra cheese.”

His proposal was met with metaphorical chirping crickets.

“Plagg?” Adrien checked under Plagg’s pillow and pulled open the sock drawer. “Plagg?”

With a frown, Adrien sank onto his bed. _“Maybe he’s with Dad?”_

Gabriel and Plagg has been spending an inordinate amount of time together recently. Adrien was kind of worried that they were becoming friends.

“Guess I’m not going on a run,” Adrien grumbled, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand and texting Gabriel: “Is Plagg with you?”

Within ten seconds, he had a reply: “Yes. Do you need him?”

Adrien contemplated his response. If Adrien said yes, Gabriel would be concerned because he would worry his son was either planning on sneaking out to go run on rooftops or because Adrien needed Plagg to fight an akuma. There hadn’t been any attacks since Gabriel had learned Adrien’s secret identity, so they had yet to deal with the reality that Adrien would sometimes be in danger for the safety of Paris (read as: Marinette).

Adrien sighed exaggeratedly as he typed, “No. Thanks!”

“Nope. Definitely not going for a run right now,” he pouted, staring up at his phone.

He pursed his lips.

His fingers were itching to text Marinette even though he knew it was a bad idea.

He called Nino instead, but Nino didn’t pick up.

With a frustrated growl, Adrien sent Nino a text: “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got my phone back. Talk to you later!”

Adrien chewed on the inside of his cheek, reminding himself that he had promised Marinette he wouldn’t text her.

_“You don’t want to look like a desperate stalker, do you?”_ his inner voice warned. _“You’re lucky you got away with that stunt you pulled today going to the photoshoot.”_

With another sigh, Adrien tapped into a prior string of texts between himself and Marinette and read through some of the old messages. While some of the exchanges brought a smile to his face, they simultaneously inspired melancholy as they reminded him of what he had lost, the intimacy he and Marinette had shared that his revelation had ruined.

Adrien dropped the phone on the bed and threw an arm over his eyes. “This sucks.”

He allowed himself a moment to wallow before he grabbed the phone and tried Nino again.

Nino did not pick up.

Adrien rolled over onto his stomach to more efficiently glare down at his screen.

The phone lit up with a text from Nino: “u need me mec”.

Adrien momentarily considered responding, “Yes, I’m bored”, but he knew better. Nino hadn’t answered Adrien’s calls because he was in the middle of something, but he had sent a text to check in, and if Adrien said that he needed Nino, Nino would drop everything and be there for Adrien. Adrien knew better than to abuse the privilege that Nino had given him.

“Nope. Just bored,” Adrien answered. “Thanks!”

“w alya” Nino lied. “talk later?”

“Later!” Adrien confirmed and then began scrolling down through old text conversations with other friends. The options were fairly limited as there were only seven or eight people whom Adrien texted, and two of those people were Nathalie and Gabriel.

He spotted a brief text exchange with Chloé from May when he’d wished her a happy birthday.

He called her on an impulse, thinking,  _“Marinette wants me to spend time with other friends? I’ll spend time with other friends.”_

“Adri-chou, did you call me by mistake, or did you want something?” Chloé snorted into the receiver as soon as she picked up.

Adrien bit his lip. “Hey, Chlo,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I’d assumed you’d forgotten that I was alive. I haven’t heard from you in over a month,” she accused.

“Yeah,” Adrien muttered. “Listen, Chloé. I’m really sorry that I dropped off the face of the earth on you. I’ve kind of been going through some things.”

“You mean girlfriends?” she sniffed, sounding personally offended.

Adrien winced. “Yeah. Okay. That’s fair.”

“…What happened?” Chloé inquired, voice softening as the edge came off her resentment. “A couple months ago it seemed like you were imploding, but then you started dating that redhead for a while and were stable again until you broke up with her a month ago, and then you went back to spiraling out of control. And this past week you kept disappearing. Like, even more than usual. What the heck is going on with you?”

Adrien took a deep breath and sighed. “I was in love with someone. I  _am_  in love with someone. To an unhealthy degree. Imean, to the point where I can’t be happy without her and whatever she does is fine, even if what she does is rip my beating heart out of my chest and stomp on it. I got a therapist, and she said that, basically, I need to tone it down and live for myself instead of for the girl I love, so…it’s pretty bad.”

“Wait,” Chloé demanded. “We’ll come back to the girl in a minute, but you got a therapist? Since when does your father allow you to see a therapist? Your father loathes therapists. He thinks they’re scam artists. I mean, that’s what he told Daddy when I started seeing my therapist. Are you sneaking out of the house and getting counseling on the sly, or how does that work?” Chloé scoffed incredulously.

“My Dad has actually been changing the past month. He’s really putting an effort into parenting. I told him I was concerned about possibly becoming suicidal and wanted to see somebody to help me get better, and he made it happen. I don’t think his opinions about therapy have changed, but we’ve kind of got our backs up against the wall as far as my mental health goes, so he’s willing to try anything at this point,” Adrien explained.

Chloé silently attempted to digest the information she had been given. “…You’re not actually thinking about killing yourself…are you?” she finally asked in a small, scared voice.

“No. We’re not at that point yet,” Adrien assured. “Well…I mean…okay. So last Saturday was really rough, and I may have briefly thought, ‘She’s never going to be with me, and I’m not able to love anyone else; I’m going to be alone the rest of my life. I’d rather be dead than live like that’, but I wasn’t seriously planning to do anything with that thought, so…”

Adrien fleetingly noted that this was the most honest, deep conversation he’d had with Chloé in years…since they were fifteen and her parents officially divorced. It felt bizarre and yet comfortable. Before Marinette and Alya and Nino, there had been Chloé for the longest time, and it felt good to go back to that familiarity.

“…Who’s this girl that messed you up?” Chloé seethed. “What did she do to you?”

“Nothing,” Adrien stressed. “It’s complicated. She’s liked me for as long as I’ve liked her, but we’ve kind of bungled things over the past four years.”

“—Four years?!” Chloé interrupted. “God! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“You don’t like her, and I wanted to keep my feelings secret so they didn’t mess up the friendship because I thought she was in love with someone else,” Adrien fibbed, reframing the situation from being in love with Ladybug to being in love with Marinette all along.

“I like her less now,” Chloé hissed. “Keep talking.”

“So, I loved her,” Adrien resumed, “and she loved me, but we didn’t know how the other felt, so…we were a mess. We accidentally hurt each other a lot…but then, four months ago, I decided I needed to get over her. She suggested I date other people casually, not realizing that she was the one I loved, so I tried to do what she said…only I messed it up and only managed to fall even deeper in love with  _her_. So…yeah….”

Adrien threw an arm over his eyes again and sighed. “Last week I told her I loved her, and things blew up. She said once I get my mental health under control and stop worshipping her, maybe we can try dating.”

Chloé pursed her lips and thought very, very hard. “…I’m going to arrange for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to be assassinated.”

“Chloé!” Adrien scolded. “I didn’t say it was Marinette. Please don’t hurt her. She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s not obligated to date me, even if we are destined to end up together. This isn’t her fault.”

“So it _is_ Marinette,” Chloé growled. “The little twit. Seducing you and then playing with you like a yoyo for years. She has some nerve.”

“Please don’t say anything,” Adrien begged. “I’m working really hard to fix things with her. Things might still work out fine. I just have to hang in there and work on getting better so that I’m in good enough shape to be with her.”

“I don’t think I want you with that spazzy, obsessive klepto,” Chloé countered. “Adrien, I know you love her, but she is literally insane. Totally one of those stalker fans. She’s been obsessed with you for years.”

“…Really?” Adrien blinked, sitting up.

“Yes,” Chloé insisted. “I know she puts on that Little Miss Perfect act out in public, but, trust me. I’ve known her since we were little. She’s a walking train wreck.”

“So am I,” Adrien whispered. “…I still want to be with her, even if she isn’t perfect.”

Chloé groaned. “She’s not just not perfect, Adrien. She’s crazy.”

“So am I,” Adrien reiterated.

Chloé threw up her hands, collapsing onto her bed in defeat. “Fine…. Fine. You love her. Whatever. Just be prepared to be disappointed, and make sure she signs a prenup. I’ll hold your hand through the divorce, but you better believe that I’m going to be screaming, ‘I told you so’ the whole time.”

Adrien had to chuckle at that as he got up to lean against his window and look out at the city. “You really think she’ll agree to marry me?”

“Oh my God,” Chloé screeched. “You are hopeless! I can’t do anything with you.”

“I’m glad you still want to try,” Adrien replied softly, regret seeping into his voice. “…It hasn’t just been the past few months that I’ve been MIA on you, Chlo. I think I’ve been slowly drifting away from you for the past few years. I made new friends and fell in love with Marinette, and I didn’t put the effort into making time for you anymore. I’m really sorry for that.”

Chloé shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, stop. No mushy stuff. I don’t do mushy.”

“But I really am sorry for neglecting you,” Adrien whispered. “I know we don’t have as much in common as we used to, but I should have kept working at our friendship. I shouldn’t have given it up so easily.”

“Stooop,” Chloé sighed in frustration.

“I miss you.”

Chloé bit her lip.

His tone was so sweet and tender and full of longing for  _her_. Finally. But too late. She’d loved this boy for so long…. Three years prior, his words would have sent her to the moon. Now…they just made her nostalgic with a touch of wistfulness.

“Yeah,” Chloé sighed. “I miss you too, you dope.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” Adrien held his breath.

“I’m free. Why?” She could always cancel with Sabrina.

“I want to take you to lunch and then shopping,” Adrien proposed. “It’s been forever since we went shopping.”

“Oooh!” Chloé squealed. “I could definitely go shopping. Let’s take my car. I’ll pick you up at twelve-thirty?”

“Perfect,” Adrien agreed. “I’m excited to see you.”

“Yeah,” Chloé chuckled. “Yeah…I’m excited to see you too.”

They said their goodbyes and rang off.

The euphoric feeling of making up with Chloé and having plans for the next day only lasted a few minutes, however, and then Adrien was back to thoughts of Marinette.

He chewed on his lip as he looked down at his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He paused, his finger hovering over the number for a minute before pushing the button.

“Hey. Wayem? This is Adrien Agreste. How have you been?” Adrien greeted cheerfully and then pulled the phone away from his ear at the enthusiastic reply.

“Good, good. Thanks. So, I was wondering if you were available to grab dinner together one night this week. My treat. I have doctor’s appointments Tuesday and Thursday, but the rest of the week is wide open.”

Adrien arranged to meet with Wayem for dinner on Wednesday, exchanged a few more of the usual pleasantries, and wrapped up the call.

And then it was back to missing Marinette. She’d looked tired at the photoshoot—still ravishing and radiant…but tired. From what little Elise would say, it seemed like Marinette was having a hard time with the situation between herself and Adrien too.

Adrien wanted to call and comfort her. He wanted to suit up and go to her balcony to tell jokes and throw popcorn at one another and try to cheer her up…but his hands were tied. As the source of her torment, he was powerless to help.

And yet his fingers burned to text her.

He scrolled down to the Ts in his contacts and called Kagami instead.

“Adrien Agreste,” she greeted neutrally, on her guard.

“Hi, Kagami. How are you?” Adrien began tentatively.

“I am well. And you?” she inquired perfunctorily.

“I’m…hanging in there,” he replied sheepishly, unwilling to lie despite the fact that he knew she was only asking because she felt obliged to.

“Did you need something, Adrien?” she asked to move the conversation along. Her tone was polite, but Adrien could guess that that was only for the sake of preserving the relationship between their families.

“I need to apologize to you,” Adrien admitted with a sigh.

“A-Apologize?” He’d thrown her off balance. “Whatever for?”

“For disappointing you. I’m sorry if I hurt you, Kagami. I know that probably doesn’t mean much, especially four months after the fact, but I wanted you to know that I _am_ sorry,” Adrien informed penitently.

Kagami didn’t respond right away. “…Thank you,” she eventually mumbled. “I suppose there is that expression ‘better late than never’.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien repeated. “I haven’t really been myself these past few months. I decided to try to give up on the girl I’ve been in love with for the past few years and kind of ended up having a quarter-life crisis over it. When I was dating all those girls, I was so desperate to try to get rid of my feelings for the girl I love that I wasn’t thinking about how my actions might affect the people who cared about me…. I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings, Kagami.”

“…Honestly? I’ve known about your feelings for Marinette Dupain-Cheng for two or three years now,” Kagami sighed. “I don’t know why I kept hanging onto the hope that you’d change your mind…. I’m the one who chose to keep giving you the power to hurt me…. I’m glad that you are sorry that you hurt me, though.”

“I had kind of hoped that maybe we could be friends going forward,” Adrien proposed but then hastily added, “I completely understand if you don’t want to have anything more to do with me than you have to, though.”

Kagami considered silently for a long while before posing a question. “Answer me this. When you were on your serial dating streak, why did you never ask me to go out with you? Am I not pretty enough? Too severe? Boring? Why not me when pretty much anyone else seemed to do?”

Adrien laughed sharply at the ludicrous idea. “Kagami, I respect you too much to casually date you. You’re very attractive, and you’re witty, and I enjoy spending time with you, but I would never fool around with you like that…especially when I know you have genuine feelings for me. I respect you too much to treat your feelings lightly.”

Kagami pursed her lips and breathed deeply. “…That’s…a very good answer. So…the real problem isn’t that there’s something about me that’s lacking. The problem is that you already love Marinette.”

“Yes,” Adrien confirmed.

Kagami hummed thoughtfully. “Obviously, I’m not happy about that fact…but it is a fact I can live with…. Very well. Let’s be friends.”

“Awesome,” Adrien trilled. “Thank you, Kagami. Hey. Monday after school are you free? I feel like it’s been forever since you kicked my butt up and down the piste. Would you be interested?”

“I would be delighted to put you through your paces,” Kagami snickered. “I’m free after six.”

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up then. …Maybe afterwards I could take you to dinner?”

“Yes to dinner so long as I pay for myself,” Kagami haggled. “I don’t want there to be any confusion about this friendship; you can pay when dinner is a date.”

“Got it,” Adrien chuckled awkwardly. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Kagami assured.

The call ended with a triple beep.

“Well,” Adrien sighed. “That’s Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday taken care of. Tuesday and Thursday are counseling. That leaves Friday and next weekend for Nino and Alya…and maybe Marinette.”

He shook his head, trying to get that line of thought out.

Maybe he could even do something with Elise or his father and Nathalie after counseling…or take Chat Noir on a date. There were plenty of things to do that were not ‘wallow in self-pity over Marinette’.

_“That would make her happy,”_  he reasoned.  _“She’d be proud that I’m trying.”_

He stared down at his phone, wondering how upset she’d be if he texted her.

With a groan of annoyance and frustration, Adrien marched out of his room in his bare feet and made his way to his father’s atelier.

“Come in,” Gabriel called.

Plagg looked up from where he was comfortably curled atop Gabriel’s shoulder. “Everything all right, Kid?”

Adrien smiled disarmingly as he made his way over to lean against the table, facing his father at the podium. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks. What are you two up to? Plotting to take over the world?”

Plagg snickered but did not comment.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No, Adrien. We are not plotting world domination…. That was last month. This month we’re attempting to build a time machine. Do try to keep up, Kitten.”

Adrien had to clap a hand over his mouth to hold in the resulting chortle. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Dad. I like the snark.”

“Glad I could amuse you,” Gabriel chuckled. “…Did you need something, Adrien?”

Adrien held up his mobile as if it were the woman caught in the act of adultery, exposing the phone to ridicule, shame, and judgment.

“This,” Adrien intoned. “needs to be taken away from me. I have a problem, and this phone is enabling me. I need you to take it away before I do something stupid like text or call Marinette.”

Gabriel stepped down from his dais and held out his hand for the phone.

Adrien reluctantly relinquished the device with a sigh. “Thanks. Sorry.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a comforting pat on the head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he assured. “I’m proud of you. It’s very mature of you to identify a problem and take steps to resolve it. You’re doing very well, Adrien.”

“Thank you,” Adrien breathed. “Because I feel like a failure. It’s like I can’t even do simple, common sense things right that everyone else knows how to do instinctively.”

“Nah.” Plagg flew down to rub against Adrien’s cheek. “You’re all right, Kid. You’re doing fine.”

“It’s as Plagg says,” Gabriel confirmed. “…What have you been up to since Elise left?”

Adrien shrugged. “Today—I’m assuming Plagg already told you all about today.”

Gabriel nodded.

Adrien sighed. “Marinette apparently needs more space than I had originally anticipated. Today she said that it might be a couple weeks still before she’s ready to hang out again.” 

Adrien shrank in misery as he relived that moment: the pain on Marinette’s face as she had to keep telling him no. The sharp explosion in his chest as she brought the knife of “no” down over and over.

“Marinette said that I should hang out with other friends instead, and, as you and I determined this afternoon, that means Nino and Alya.”

Gabriel nodded, wondering if there was some way, magical or otherwise, to get Marinette to want to be with Adrien sooner. His better judgment, informed by the stack of parenting guidebooks he’d been reading, told him not to meddle.

“But I was thinking about how you said I should get some more friends,” Adrien continued, oblivious to Gabriel’s mental tangent. “So I called some people and made plans with them for the coming week. I hope that was okay,” Adrien added, suddenly questioning himself. “I knew Nathalie had cleared my schedule for this week besides the counseling appointments, so I thought…”

“No, that’s wonderful, Adrien,” Gabriel stressed. “That’s fantastic that you took the initiative to reach out to people. …With whom did you make plans?”

Adrien brightened a little at the praise. “Well, tomorrow I’m having lunch with Chloé, and then I’m taking her shopping. Monday after school I’m fencing with Kagami, and then we’re going to have dinner together. Wednesday, I’m meeting Wayem for dinner—you remember Wayem?”

Gabriel frowned and made an educated guess. “Your rather enthusiastic fanboy?”

Adrien nodded.

“You’ve been very industrious in making plans,” Gabriel observed.

A sheepish smile broke out on Adrien’s face. “Well, I was trying to keep from calling Marinette, so I called other people.”

Plagg settled on top of Adrien’s head. “You must have been pretty desperate.”

“Yeah?” Adrien bashfully admitted. “That’s kind of why I came to enlist aid.” He turned to his father. “I’ll need that back tomorrow morning, by the way. You know, in case Chloé or someone texts me about plans. And Nino said he would touch base with me too.”

“You can have the phone back at breakfast,” Gabriel promised.

“Okay,” Adrien sighed, not knowing if he’d be able to handle having the phone and not contacting Marinette. “Thank you, Dad.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“…And thank you for allowing me to have Elise over today,” Adrien added.

“You’re welcome,” Gabriel replied cordially, pleased that he and his son were finally communicating successfully after so many years of Gabriel feeling at a loss when he spoke with Adrien.

“I had a lot of fun hanging out with her, and she had some really great advice,” Adrien continued. “Unfortunately, she’s an expert at dealing with breakups and self-esteem issues, so…” Adrien bit his lip, hesitating. “…Do you think I could have her over again sometime?”

Gabriel took a moment to consider. “Yes, I don’t see why not. Elise seems like an acceptable friend. I’m glad that things went so well with her today.”

Adrien drew a breath. “Do you think…maybe I could have other friends over sometime?”

“You mean like Monsieur Lahiffe.” Gabriel sighed.

“And others. Once I make more friends.” Adrien smiled uncertainly.

Gabriel frowned. His gut reaction was to say no, but he had a feeling that the parenting guidebooks would encourage him to say yes and allow his eighteen-year-old some autonomy.

Gabriel hated the concept of autonomy.

With another sigh, Gabriel offered a compromise. “We’ll take it on a case-by-case basis. Ask me first, and then I’ll try to say yes.”

“Thank you, Dad!” Adrien cheered as he wrapped Gabriel in a hug.

Gabriel gave a start in surprise at first, but his arms quickly returned the embrace. They were slowly but surely growing accustomed to the action.

“You’re welcome…. I’m trying,” he added in a small, humbled voice.

“Thank you for trying,” Adrien whispered into Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Thank you for giving me another chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to do this when I was upset. I wasn't tempted to call anyone in particular, but I would call and talk to other people to distract myself from being depressed and crying. It actually worked pretty well. Usually by the time I'd talked to the third person I was feeling better enough to go do something else.
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys. I'll see you on Friday!


	21. Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One week after the breakup, Marinette...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Still Mikau. Thanks for coming back for more! I'm still working on replying to comments. Sorry for the delay. In the meantime, thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks.
> 
> Today we have a Marinette-centric chapter. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (By the way, the next update will be Monday 07/01/2019. I have drafts of Twenty-Two and Twenty-Three done, so there should at least be updates Monday and Wednesday of next week. Twenty-Four is going to be a doozy, so...I may have to break it up into multiple chapters. We shall see. It's the graduation party.)

Nino’s ears were a little sore where he’d gotten his cartilage pierced earlier that day. He’d been wanting to do it for a while, and the events of the previous week had given him more than enough reason to finally put a set of holes in his ears.

He sighed as he gripped Marinette’s earrings tightly in his palm for a third time that week, on the lookout for black butterflies as Marinette lay curled up on the couch beside him, trembling and choking on sobs, her head resting on Nino’s thigh.

When Nino’s phone rang for the second time in five minutes, he sighed and pulled it out, expecting his mother or Alya.

He had two missed calls and one text from Adrien.

Internally, Nino cursed.

Adrien’s text seemed innocuous enough…but then why the second call?

“Sorry,” Nino muttered to Marinette. “It’s Alya. Let me just text her to tell her I’m busy. Hopefully it’s not important.”

Marinette made a little noise of acknowledgement through her hiccups.

Nino texted Adrien back, asking if he needed anything. Nino prayed that he didn’t because Nino could NOT deal with both of them at the same time.

Fortunately, Adrien did not seem to be in crisis. Unfortunately, Adrien was the best actor that Nino had ever seen, and text was not a good medium through which to determine emotional state.

Nino posted a mental sticky-note on the fridge in his mind palace reminding him to call Adrien back as soon as Marinette was stable.

It was several minutes later that Marinette began to sniffle as she rode out the worst of her meltdown.

“Starting to feel better?” Nino inquired softly.

Marinette nodded, rubbing away the remnants of tears.

“Do you think you’re okay to take your earrings back?” he wondered.

Marinette shook her head. Her voice trembled as she confessed, “I don’t really want to deal with her right now. Keep her a little longer for me? Please?”

Nino nodded, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “You two still not talking?”

Marinette closed her eyes and sighed. “Not a lot. She’s unapologetic, and I’m mad at her. I mean, I get that she’s thousands of years old and that my one, measly human love life isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. I get that she’s looking at the bigger picture and trying to do what’s best for all of humanity…but would it really have killed her three years ago to say, ‘You know, Marinette, you really need to cool your jets with Adrien and maybe think about giving Chat Noir a chance. Wink. Wink.’? Would it really have been the end of the world if she had taken me aside after I talked with you about dating Chat Noir and told me why I couldn’t date Chat Noir? Did she have to let things get so screwed up? Did she have to let me emotionally torture Adrien for four and a half years?”

Nino didn’t respond, letting Marinette vent without passing judgment one way or the other.

Marinette groaned, rolling over onto her back. “I know I’m being unfair. I know I’m just passing the buck and not taking responsibility for my own actions, but…maybe things would have ended better if I’d had a little better guidance…or maybe not. Maybe I would have screwed things up on my own just as bad…. I just…I suck.”

Nino pulled out Marinette’s ponytail holder and began running his fingers through her hair. “No, you don’t.”

“I feel like I suck,” Marinette muttered. “This whole time…” She choked on an unexpected sob and burst back into tears.

Nino kept petting her hair soothingly.

She got ahold of herself once more a minute or two later and coughed, “S-Sorry. Nino, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you have to do this. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being there for me lately. I swear I’m going to find some way to make this up to you.”

“Hey, no,” he insisted. “Shh. Like, don’t even. It’s…” He shook his head as he stared resolutely down at her. “Cupcakes, you have been there for Paris unfailingly for almost five years now. You’ve earned the right to ask someone to step up for you, and I am honored that you trust me to have your back. Am I exhausted and mega stressed? Yes. Of course I am, but let me assure you that there is nowhere I would rather be right now than sitting on this sofa having your back. Okay?”

She grinned up at him broadly, wiping away her tears once more. “You rock, Nino. You know that? I’m making you an MVP ribbon or something because you seriously rock.”

“I could live with that,” Nino chuckled until a thought hit him. “…Though…we probably shouldn’t let the cat see it. He might get his feelings hurt.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Nino winced at his mistake.

Marinette curled back up on her side, and Nino could feel fresh tears seeping into his jeans.

“Sorry,” Nino whispered.

“It’s okay. You’re right.” Her voice was shaking and barely audible.

“Wanna talk about something else for a bit?” Nino suggested. “How was your day? …Or is that a bad question to ask? I mean…I guess something upset you or pushed you over the edge, and that’s why I’m here, right? Sorry.”

She shook her head. “Today was…I don’t know. I was at work most of the day.”

“How’s that going?” Nino prompted.

“I don’t know,” Marinette chuckled bitterly. “There are times when I think I’m doing a really good job and times when I’m worried that I’m making a mess of everything…. I think Gabriel Agreste is punishing me for what I did to Adrien. He gave the other interns one or two tasks apiece today ranging from simple to moderately difficult, but he gave me four really involved assignments…but then…when we all checked in at the end of the day, I reported to him and he _smiled_. He smiled and told me what a good job I’d done…like he was happy that I had succeeded or something. Like I keep saying, I don’t know. I was super stressed today, and then Adrien showed up at the shoot, and—”

“—What?!” Nino choked. “What the hell was he doing there?”

Marinette shrugged. “Apparently, Adrien and Elise are friends now, and they were meeting up for coffee after the shoot…only Elise told him the wrong time, so he ended up there early, and she dragged him over to say hi to me, not knowing that we’re currently on the outs.”

Nino swore under his breath. “What happened?”

“Nothing, actually,” Marinette responded with a touch of residual surprise. “She dragged him over, and we said hi to each other, and…he did mention that his father was impressed by my work, so that was nice, but…” She rolled over onto her back once more and threw an arm over her face. “He asked me if I wanted to get Chinese and watch anime tonight.”

“And you told him no and he looked crushed and you felt like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” Nino surmised, taking off his hat to tug at his close-cropped hair. He cursed softly.

“Mm,” Marinette confirmed. “And when I said no, he asked if maybe next week we could hang out…. I can’t freaking hang out with him right now, Nino,” she growled in frustration. “I’m in no shape to spend time with him because you know what I’m going to do the minute I’m alone with him? I’m going to kiss him. I’m going to rip his clothes off and have sex with him because the guy I’ve been crazy about for _years_ now is madly in love with me, and I _want_ him. I _want_ him, but I can’t have him because we’re both freaking wrecks, and I have to be the mature one in this relationship because—through no fault of his own—he _can’t_.”

She smacked her hand down against the sofa with another growl.

“God, the look on his face today, Nino. He’s desperate. Chat has always been desperate, but at least before he had a little more self-respect. He’d get upset or mad at me. Nowadays, Adrien is just so…it’s like I can do no wrong. And that’s _scary_. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been hurting him senselessly for years; all that is forgiven, and that’s not _right_ , Nino. He can’t just let me get away with it. This isn’t…healthy. This isn’t what a healthy relationship looks like, and I don’t want…I don’t want us to hurt one another, so…I can’t say yes before we’re both ready and have it blow up in our faces and then not even be able to be friends afterwards. So I can’t be with him right now…. I can’t be around him…right?”

She lowered her arm and gazed up searchingly at her friend, as if asking for permission to give in and be with Adrien anyway.

Nino looked at her pityingly. “Yeah. I honestly think you two are bad for each other right now. If he’s making you feel this unstable, you need a break. I can say for certain that _you_ are toxic to _him_ at the moment, so it’s probably a good idea to leave him alone and let him heal.”

Marinette studied Nino for a minute before closing her eyes with a sigh. “I miss him.”

“I know,” Nino muttered.

“I miss him so much,” Marinette laughed. “We’re supposed to be cuddling and finishing up Ouran High School Host Club right now. I’m supposed to be with him.”

She lowered her arm just enough to peek up at Nino. “Can I change my mind? Can I say I’m sorry and take it all back and tell him I want to be together?”

“No,” Nino snapped with all the severity of a wolf protecting her cubs. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you leave him the eff alone. Don’t you dare keep jerking him around. You’ve made your decision, and now you’re stuck with it, okay? No waffling. Now, I _love_ you, Cupcakes, and I’m not mad at you. I’m not blaming you, but the truth is that you’ve wrecked him—whether you meant to do that or not. He is a wreck, and he needs you to stay the heck away from him while he picks himself back up, okay?”

She slipped her arm back up over her eyes and nodded soundlessly.

“What he needs is to learn to be okay without you—without anyone. What he doesn’t need is you to come back in and coddle him so that he thinks it’s okay to stop working on his mental health since he got what he wanted. The last thing we need is him using you as a crutch instead of actually getting emotionally healthy. We’re done with that, so you stay on your side of the line and work on coming to terms with all the Chat-Adrien-Marinette-Ladybug stuff, and I’ll try to keep him on his side of the line so he can work on…” Nino blew out a slow stream of air. “…all his crap.”

“…I wish I could be there for him,” Marinette muttered. “Some partner I am.”

“You _are_ there for him,” Nino insisted. “From a distance because that’s where you have to be right now, just one week after the apocalypse, for your own mental health—which, may I remind you, is not that great. He knows you care about him, Marinette.”

“Does he? I told him I was disappointed that he was Chat.” Marinette winced. “He’s probably got ‘I can’t love you’ drilled into his head just like I have ‘She’s just a friend’ stuck in mine. We’re both real pieces of work.”

Nino gave Marinette’s hair a tussle. “Stop thinking about it. Time to think happy thoughts.”

Marinette snorted. “…Wanna watch Code Lyoko?”

“Sure thing, ma pote,” Nino chuckled.

“…And can we maybe order Chinese?” she asked in a small, embarrassed voice.

Nino decided to be indulgent. “Yeah. We can do that.”

“And can you order shrimp lo mein and let me pick the shrimp out in exchange for my bamboo shoots?” Marinette pressed her luck.

Nino raised an eyebrow. “You two are weird. Why…?” Nino cut himself off, pursing his lips.

Marinette shrugged. “Well, you know how Adrien doesn’t really care for meat or seafood or poultry much? He actually doesn’t mind shrimp, but he only eats, like, half the shrimp they give him, so I pick out the other half. I don’t dislike bamboo shoots, but I don’t really like them that much either. Adrien really likes them, though, so…it just kind of works out.” She smiled sheepishly.

Nino nodded.

“And for fortune cookies, I get the cookie; he gets the fortune. He has a collection,” Marinette chuckled, a real smile finally coming to her face.

Nino smiled softly. His heart really went out to his friends.

_“Don’t worry,”_ he wanted to assure them. _“We’ll get you two back together soon.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I know a lot of you don't like Marinette at the moment. I'm wondering if that's because you don't understand where she's coming from? Maybe this helped put her actions in the context of her not-so-good headspace? It's kind of weird for me because near the beginning of the story when Adrien was having his crisis and dating around, a lot of people were really out to get him, but now it seems like a lot of people have turned on Marinette now that she's freaking out and trying to avoid an unhealthy relationship and trying to prioritize her own mental health. 
> 
> I've decided that it's okay if readers are upset with the characters. I'm not aiming to portray perfect automatons that always do and think and say the right thing. This is still fictionalized, but I'm trying to present more realistic depictions of messed-up human beings. Real people don't always get it right. Real people can be very ugly. It's not always easy to understand or to like real people. But real people are interesting.
> 
> I hope I've created something interesting.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll see you all again on Monday 07/01/2019 when Marinette and Adrien have a phone conversation.


	22. Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette calls Adrien.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there guys. Happy Monday and welcome back for more Daisy! Please insert here my usual apology for being behind on replying to comments. -.-; I have a long weekend coming up, so I hope to catch up a little then. In the meantime, thank you, as always, for all of your thoughtful comments, your kudos, and your bookmarks. There has been some really fantastic discussion in the comments that I've been so happy to see.
> 
> And now on with the show.

Twenty-Two: Step

“You know, I seriously don’t blame Rose,” Elise snickered, setting the bowl of popcorn down on Adrien’s coffee table. “I would totally leave my boyfriend for David Tennant too.”

Adrien cast a sideways glance at his friend. “You’re seeing someone?”

Elise rolled her eyes. “No, Candy Floss. You put me into retirement.”

Adrien winced. “Sorry…about that.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Please. You have since become my dorky little brother, and I love you. It was more…after the string of boyfriends I’d had, you were just the last straw. I’m a big girl capable of making mature decisions. I’m fine.”

“I wish I were a big girl capable of making mature decisions,” he snorted. “I’m still stuck in remedial Emotions 101 courses. I can’t wait until I achieve emotional maturity.”

“You’re getting there, Adrien,” Elise gently encouraged, prodding his calf with her socked foot. “You’ve made leaps and bounds of progress in the past two weeks…. Do you have any Pop-Tarts?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Just the box you smuggled in last time. I had to hide it in the back of the cabinet. If my dad found it…” Adrien shuddered. “For my dad, Pop-Tarts might as well be a type of drug. I might as well be hiding boxes of cocaine in my cabinet.”

Elise cocked an eyebrow and chuckled, “‘Boxes’ of cocaine?”

Adrien smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know. What does cocaine usually come in? Bottles? Vials? Jars? I know it’s not a pill—right? It’s…like…a powder?”

Elise didn’t even try to hold back her laughter. “Oh, my pure baby boy. Someone has obviously never done drugs.”

Adrien kicked Elise’s foot. “Oh, like you have?”

Elise shook her head. “No, but I’m a lot less sheltered than you are, Candy Floss. Some of the other models I’ve met have been drug users, and I dated a guy once who did drugs. I’ve been drugged once or twice at parties, but—” Elise stopped abruptly at the look of horror on Adrien’s face. She fluttered her hands ineffectually. “Candy Floss, it was fine. Someone just spiked my drink is all. I was with friends, and they took care of me, so nothing happened, and it wasn’t a big deal, so don’t even worry about it.”

“How can that not be a big deal?” he mumbled, feeling sick.

She reached out and gave his scalp a comforting rub. “Shh. This world is a rough place. It _is_ a big deal, but if I used up mental energy on all the times something was unfair or wrong or someone tried to take advantage of me, I wouldn’t have the time or energy to enjoy the good things in my life. Like Pop-Tarts.” She smiled disarmingly. “Now, be a dear and go fetch them? Pretty please?” She batted her eyes.

Adrien sighed, letting it go. He pushed himself up from the couch. “Pop-Tarts coming right up.”

“Thank you!” Elise trilled in delight. “You are seriously the best.”

Adrien had just opened his mouth to retort when his phone on the coffee table began to ring. “If it’s Nino, could you pick up and tell him we’re busy?”

Elise bit her lip. “It’s not Nino.”

Adrien arched and eyebrow. “Who is it?”

Elise looked anxious. “…Marinette.”

Adrien cursed, hoping over the back of the couch to land on the seat. He looked between his phone and Elise in utter panic. “What do I do?”

“Answer your phone,” Elise snorted in exasperation.

“But what if she called me by mistake?” Adrien squeaked. “What if she didn’t mean to call me and I pick up and it’s really awkward and she doesn’t want to talk to me? I will be _crushed_ , Elise. Crushed. Gutted. Absolutely gutted. Yeah, I’ve been getting a lot better recently, but I’m still insanely in love with her, and I haven’t built up enough resilience to be able to take rejection again.”

“I swear, Adrien,” Elise grumbled, reaching for the phone. “You’re almost as bad as _her_ when it comes to catastrophizing. I’m going to do you a favor.”

Elise picked up the phone and answered the call before Adrien could tackle her and put a stop to it. “Hi there, M&M! It’s Elise. How are you doing, Sweetie?”

Marinette nearly dropped her phone. “E-Elise?” She’d psyched herself up so much to talk to Adrien again that her subverted expectations had her panicking. “I…uh…I called…why are…where is…?”

“I’m actually over at Adrien’s house,” Elise confessed, helping the poor girl out. “I was getting ready to leave,” she lied, “and I asked to borrow this book he was talking about, but it’s in the study or the library or whatever those rich people call it, so he went to go fetch it.”

Adrien frowned and mouthed, “What are you doing?”, anxiety plain and clear on his face.

Elise ignored him. “I’m sorry for answering his phone like this, but he left it sitting on the coffee table, and when I saw it was you, I figured I should pick up because I know how much he misses you.”

Adrien made an x with his arms and shook his head violently.

Marinette made a choking sound on the other end of the line. “M-Misses…me?”

“Of course, Sweetie. You two are best friends, and he hasn’t seen you in weeks. I’m doing my best to fill in, but I’m a poor substitute,” Elise laughed airily.

Adrien frowned, a sad look in his eyes. Elise could almost hear him say, “That’s not true”.

She waved away his concern on her behalf. “I’m sure he’d be delighted to talk to you as soon as he gets back from getting the book and sees me out the door. Did you need something in particular, Marinette, or can I just have him call you back after I leave?”

“Oh…uh…It was nothing in particular. I just…I miss him too. I was just calling to check in and see how he was doing…. Just…you know. Hear his voice,” Marinette explained, face going vermilion.

Elise hummed softly. “Yes. I’ve been there. I know the feeling. I’ll make sure he calls you back, Sweetie. You take care now.”

“Thanks, Elise,” Marinette mumbled.

Elise ended the call with a smirk. “She misses you too,” she snickered. “She was just calling to check in on you and because she wanted to hear the sound of your voice.”

Adrien’s face flushed. “O-Oh?”

“Candy Floss, she is _so_ stuck on you.” Elise gave him a playful shove.

“Yeah?” Adrien chuckled, wearing an embarrassed yet pleased expression as he rubbed at his neck where the bruises were no longer visible.

“Definitely,” Elise giggled. “Okay. Now, let’s get down to business. You need to wait at least four or five minutes before you call her back.”

Adrien blanched. “Call her back?”

Elise nodded solemnly. “I said you were going to call her back. If you don’t, she’ll think I’m a bad person because I forgot to tell you, or she’ll think she’s not important to you because you didn’t care enough to actually return the call. You’re familiar with how ridiculous Marinette can get with worst-case scenarios. Save her the panic attack and call her back.”

“But…I can’t just have a phone conversation in front of you. That’s rude. We’re supposed to be hanging out and spending time together,” Adrien argued.

Elise rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Adrien, I’ll just text with Chloé or something. Don’t even worry about that.”

“But what do I say to her?” Panic ratchetted up the pitch of Adrien’s voice.

“Words. Sentences maybe. Preferably in French. Honestly,” Elise sighed. “Candy Floss, you just need to chillax and talk to her. You’ve talked to her thousands of times; you know how to do this. You talked to her well enough at the photoshoot the other week. You’re _fine_.”

Adrien pursed his lips, not buying it.

“If you want,” Elise offered, “put the call on speaker, and I’ll sit here with you and help you out if you get stuck on what to say.”

Adrien stared at her incredulously. “Do people do that?”

Elise shook her head slowly. “Girls do that all the time. But you’re not going to need me. You know how to talk to Marinette.”

Adrien gulped. “It feels different somehow now.”

Elise gave Adrien’s head another pat while she kept track of the time.

Once four minutes had passed, Elise picked up Adrien’s phone, unlocked it, and dialed Marinette so that there was no way for Adrien to chicken out.

“H-Hello?” Marinette greeted timidly, picking up on the first ring.

Elise pantomimed taking a deep breath.

Adrien did. “Hi, Marinette. How are you?”

Elise gave him a thumbs up.

“Oh, hi. Hi, Adrien. I’m good. I’m hanging in there,” Marinette chuckled nervously, struggling to find her footing. “How about you?”

“I’m tolerably well, actually,” Adrien replied, heart soaring at the sound of her chuckle. “Elise said you’d called? Did you need something, or…?”

Marinette gave a start. “Oh! Oh, no. I didn’t exactly need anything. I was just…I missed talking to you, and I thought…maybe now, since it’s been a couple weeks, it would be okay to check in.”

“I miss talking to you too,” Adrien confessed, his voice giving a little too much away.

Marinette flushed but did not comment. “So what have you been up to lately?”

Adrien shrugged, drawing up his knees to his chest. “Oh, lots of things. Dad has let up on the extra curriculars, so I have a lot more time now to do things I actually want to do…which, ironically, turned out to be watching dramas in Chinese, fencing with Kagami, and playing arrangements of popular music on the piano, if you can believe it. It’s more fun when I get to choose my activities myself.”

Marinette laughed along with him at this. “Oh, Adrien.”

Adrien melted. “Sometimes I can even get my dad to play four-handed pieces with me now that he’s making a conscientious effort to be a real parent.”

“That’s wonderful!” Marinette congratulated. “What else have you been doing with yourself?”

“Nathalie, Dad, and I are doing family activities. We’re having breakfast together every day and some dinners. Sometimes we watch movies or play board games. Nathalie is a bit of a card sharp, and Dad and I think she cheats at Mario Party too,” Adrien informed eagerly. 

He had so much to tell her, so much to catch her up on. They’d missed a lot the past month.

“Dad and I were talking about me going back to modeling too,” he continued with more reservation.

He wasn’t sure if he should say, “so maybe we’ll be working together” or “I’m looking forward to seeing more of you at work”. He wasn’t sure if this phone call meant he was allowed out of exile yet. Maybe this was his probationary hearing. If so, he shouldn’t sound so excited about being allowed to interact with her. He had to play it cool and prove that he was stable enough to be permitted visiting rights.

“But not as much as I used to,” Adrien added instead. “I was promised no more rigid schedules, but…Dad kind of would like for me to continue to be the face of the brand.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Marinette wondered, biting her lip.

“Ambivalent,” Adrien decided. “I don’t really like modeling much. Sometimes it’s fun, but most days it’s a pain. It pays well, though, and the fame will be useful later…and Dad and I worked out a compromise. If I keep modeling at a reduced rate and go to university for Business, I’m allowed to study Theatre too.”

“What?!” Marinette squealed, jumping to her feet to bounce in glee. “Oh my gosh! Adrien, are you serious?! He’s going to let you act?!”

“Any roles I want to take have to be run by him and the marketing team to ensure compatibility with my public image, but, yes. He’s going to let me act.”

Marinette screamed in delight. “Oh my God! I am so freaking happy for you! This is wonderful! This is really, really wonderful.”

She wanted to hug him. She wanted to bake him a cake and throw him a party to celebrate, but…she wasn’t sure she could do that without crossing lines and setting them both back in their recoveries. And, of course, the matter had recently become even more complicated on her end. She couldn’t risk messing things up for all involved parties.

“Congratulations, Minou,” she whispered, voice full of conflicting emotions.

“Thanks, Princess,” Adrien purred, heart swelling at the token of intimacy he’d been rewarded with. “…So what is Milady up to recently?”

He was tired of listening to the sound of his own voice. He wanted to hear hers.

“Oh, end of high school scramble,” she sighed, collapsing back down onto her chaise. “Helping my parents. The usual blah blah blah. My internship is keeping me pretty busy too. You know, I can’t tell if your father hates me or if he wants me to succeed. I mean, he is constantly setting me up to fail, but then he looks so pleased when I manage to pull it off anyway. I don’t get him.”

“He’s trying to challenge you so you’ll have opportunities to grow,” Adrien explained. “At least, that’s what it sounds like when he talks about you.”

“You think?” Marinette sighed. “Maybe that’s a part of it, but I seriously think he derives a sadistic pleasure from watching me struggle.”

Adrien hummed thoughtfully before admitting, “Yeah. Okay. That may be part of it too, but I’ve specifically told him I will never forgive him if he bullies you because of me, so if he’s being a jerk—you know, outside of the normal parameters of figuratively being a boss from hell—tell me, and I will casually remind him not to mess with you.”

“Thanks,” Marinette chuckled tiredly. “It’s not like that, though. He’s tough, and he makes me work hard, but he’s not cruel. He’s not completely unreasonable. Not _unreasonably_ unreasonable, I mean. He’s definitely unreasonable, but he’s not unreasonable to just me. It’s been a good experience working with him.”

“I think you are the only person on the face of this earth with that opinion,” Adrien chortled. “I don’t even think Nathalie would agree with you, and she’s marrying him.”

“…What?” Marinette sat up, pulled the phone away from her ear, and stared at it.

“…Oh.” Adrien frowned. “God, it has been  _forever_  since I last talked to you. My parents are getting married in a couple months. After years of me badgering Nathalie, they’re finally getting married completely out of the blue.”

“Wow,” Marinette mumbled, shocked. “Wow. That’s… Congratulations. You must be really excited.”

“I am,” Adrien chuckled, unable to keep from grinning. “It feels like, after years of being an orphan to my father’s grief over losing my mother, I finally have a family again. It’s really—” Adrien’s voice caught in his throat unexpectedly at the overflow of emotions. “It’s really nice,” he finished. “After watching you guys and  _your_ families over the years, it’s nice to finally feel like I have one too. Like…you have no idea what it feels like to finally have something that you’ve wanted so bad while everyone else just took it for granted.”

“Oh, Minou,” Marinette cooed.

He could almost feel her arms around him from the tenderness in her voice.

“Oh, Adrien,” she whispered. “I am so happy that things are finally falling into place for you. You deserve this. You’ve deserved this all along, and it just killed me that there was nothing I could do to give it to you.”

Her hands ached to run through his hair. She wanted to hold him and nuzzle his neck. It almost physically hurt not to be able to touch him.

“Thanks,” Adrien chuckled, recovering his composure. “So…aren’t you working on the new Gabriel bridal line?”

“Oh my gosh!” Marinette sucked in a long breath. “Is this what that’s for?!”

Adrien laughed harder. “Yeah. Dad thought it would be a good publicity stunt. Nathalie is not thrilled. …Have you seen the best man’s suit?”

“Yes?” Marinette cocked her head to the side, wondering what he was getting at.

“That’s me…so you should design yourself a dress to match.”

Elise flicked Adrien’s arm and shook her head.

Adrien looked back at his friend in innocent confusion. “Er…is it too early to ask you to be my date?”

Elise buried her face in her hands, whispering, “‘Plus one’. Not ‘date’.”

“Or we could just go as friends if you’d rather be my plus one,” Adrien attempted to correct. “I just thought that in a few months… Sorry. Um…maybe I should ask you again closer to time?”

Marinette did not respond.

Adrien paled. “Sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to… Look, you’re probably invited anyway. We don’t have to go together. You don’t even have to associate with me if you somehow still need space in a few months. I just assumed…”

Elise grabbed Adrien’s arm and whispered, “Candy Floss, slow down and breathe. Play it cool.”

Adrien nodded, breathing in time with Elise.

“Sorry,” Marinette finally replied. “I’m sorry. I don’t… I was thinking about…” The dress she would design to match his suit. The delicate purples and blues and greys of the wedding’s color palette and the butterfly and peacock theme.

She had been thinking about Adrien. Adrien in that suit…Adrien out of that suit…and the intervening stages between the two.

“I don’t know yet,” Marinette answered honestly. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

“I’m getting better, you know,” Adrien mumbled sullenly. “I wish you could see that.”

“I can,” Marinette assured. “I can tell just from talking to you that you seem happier than you have been since you decided to give up on—” She broke off suddenly as she remembered that it was she who had kicked off this dark time in his life.

“Yeah, but the problem is that you haven’t talked to me in forever,” Adrien pressed. “I know Nino and Alya are probably keeping you in the loop, but how are you going to be able to tell when I’m good enough if you don’t talk to me?”

“Good enough?” Marinette echoed. “What do you mean ‘good enough’?”

For you to want to be with me, was on the tip of his tongue.

Elise squeezed his bicep.

Adrien took a breath. “You know. Well enough,” he explained in an attempt not to look pathetic. “Better.”

Marinette was quiet for a moment.

Adrien could hear her inhale deeply and slowly release the breath before she responded, “Adrien, I know you have no way of knowing this, but I’m kind of a wreck. Not just right now but in general. Sometimes have been better than others, but you’re not the only one who needs to work on yourself. I’ve got a lot that I’m sorting through, and I need some time on my own to get things straight. I know you think I’m wonderful, but I’m telling you right now that I suck, and I don’t have things as together as I might pretend to in public. You’re not the only one with issues. You are not the only reason a relationship isn’t a good idea right now. I am at least half the problem…and I’m sorry I’m not better. I know I’m really letting you down, especially lately.”

She was right. He had been feeling let down by her lack of presence in his life when he most needed her support, but he wasn’t about to tell her that to her face.

“No, Princess,” he whispered. “You’re fine. You’re perfect, so don’t worry about it. I’ll be here when you’re ready for me.”

Guilt drenched Marinette like a tidal wave. Her voice stuck in her throat.

“So…” Adrien sighed when enough time had passed to be able to tell that Marinette was not going to respond. “I’m guessing you wouldn’t be interested in getting coffee together and catching up?”

“No,” Marinette replied in a small voice. “I don’t think that would be a good idea right now.”

She couldn’t see him and not touch him, and she knew that as soon as she touched him, they’d happily fall over into the abyss together. And Marinette wasn’t free to do that.

“Yeah, didn’t think so,” Adrien grumbled, some of his frustration leaking into his voice.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“…And…am I allowed to call you now or text you or…? No?” he tried.

She bit her lip. “Not texting. Maybe…if you want to call me from time to time…I can’t promise that I’ll always pick up, but…”

His heart broke a little. Was she just saying that to placate him? Would he call and call and call and never get a response? That’s kind of what it sounded like, but maybe he was being overly pessimistic.

“Okay,” he agreed because what other choice did he have?

There was silence and pain.

Elise wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in to rest his head on her shoulder.

He snuggled into her neck.

She gave him a squeeze.

“…So…” Marinette spoke tentatively. “Have you done anything fun lately?”

He sighed and accepted her attempt to return the levity to their conversation. “I mean, yeah. I’ve been hanging out with friends a lot, trying to get out of the house. Keeping busy. Actually, on Thursday, I went with Elise, Nino, Chloé, and Kagami to a karaoke bar, and that was a ton of fun.”

“That’s…an unusual assortment of people,” Marinette replied, blinking in amazement.

“Nino’s putting up with Chloé for my sake and vice versa, but I think they’re starting to come to an understanding,” Adrien explained. “Chloé and Kagami might be bonding over a shared dislike of you, though,” he shamefacedly admitted.

“I see.” Marinette grimaced. “I can’t say that I’m surprised. Oh well. So long as you’re all having fun together.”

“We are,” Adrien confirmed. “Thursday was pretty great. We sang a lot of eighties songs. Elise is a fan, so…and Nino and Chloé were a little drunk, so they went with it. Kagami was a surprisingly good sport. She’s actually a karaoke champ…and can really hold her liquor.”

“What did you sing?” Marinette giggled, curling up on her chaise and hugging her throw pillow to her chest.

“Madonna’s Like a Prayer, It’s Raining Men with Elise and Chloé, Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero—You know, after I sang that, some guy in his late twenties came up to me and offered to be my hero,” Adrien snickered.

“Oh my gosh!” Marinette cackled. “No!”

“Yes!” Adrien insisted. “He was all over me. Back at the table, I could see Nino getting ready to march over and fight the guy. Kagami had to hold him back.”

“What happened? What did you say?” Marinette prompted.

“I was kind of stunned. I mean, guys have flirted with me before, but…usually they don’t get so into my space. I sort of just went with it and flirted back a little?” Adrien admitted, blushing anew at the memory of the other man’s hand on his hip, on his butt.

“What?” Marinette choked.

“Apparently I still struggle with saying no to unsolicited affection,” Adrien groaned. “The attention was kind of nice, especially since I’ve been feeling so low lately, but then he told me he was secretly Chat Noir and invited me back to his place to show me all the different tricks he could do with his baton—”

“—You are not serious—”

“—and I told him that I’d slept with Chat Noir before and that Chat actually preferred to be on the receiving end of things.”

Marinette burst out laughing. “You didn’t!!! You didn’t!”

“I totally did,” Adrien snickered proudly.

“And what did he say?!” Marinette demanded.

“He asked if I was serious, and I said yes.” Adrien shrugged. “Then I excused myself and went back to singing.”

“I cannot believe that,” Marinette snorted.

“Why not? I mean, he was cute, but I don’t sleep with guys, so at that point there  _was_  no point in talking to him anymore. I didn’t want to lead him on or anything.”

“I can’t believe you got hit on like that,” Marinette rephrased.

“You would if you had seen what I was wearing,” Adrien teased. “The first word out of Nino’s mouth when he saw me was, ‘Meowzzah’.”

Marinette broke into a giggle fit all over again.

“Seriously. Chat Noir isn’t the only guy whose butt looks good in leather pants. And the shirt I was wearing was so tight and so thin, it might as well have been body paint. Chloé dressed me, and Elise did my makeup. The words ‘sex kitten’ might have gotten tossed around a little. Nino started it, but Kagami and Chloé quickly picked it up.”

“And your father let you leave the house like that?” Marinette scoffed.

“Chloé made me change at her house…but I’m sure my dad has seen photos by now, so I’m really wondering why I haven’t been grounded yet. I mean, he’s gotten dramatically more chill this past month, but I know I crossed a line Thursday. Maybe Nathalie interceded on my behalf or something? God forbid he actually let me go out there and make my own choices…I think. I don’t know. The rules seem to have changed lately, but I haven’t received an updated copy of the rulebook yet. Dad’s been reading a lot of parenting guidebooks, so maybe…I don’t know. I had a lot of fun, though, and if he wants to ground me later, that’s fine. At least I got to have fun like a normal eighteen-year-old for a little while.”

Marinette hummed thoughtfully. “I’m glad you got to have fun…. Did you sing anything else?”

“Total Eclipse of the Heart with Nino at Elise’s insistence,” Adrien chuckled, eagerly slipping back into the narrative. “And I actually got some requests from total strangers too, so I ended up singing a lot more than I had intended. The crowd seemed into it, though. I’m sure there are photos and videos on the internet because people definitely recognized me. Like I said, I’m surprised I haven’t gotten in trouble yet.”

“What did you tell your father you were doing?” Marinette had to wonder.

Adrien smirked. “Going to do karaoke with friends. I might have given him the impression that I would be doing so in a private room, but…I was surprised that he said yes in the first place.”

“That…Yeah…” Marinette muttered, trying to wrap her head around a Gabriel Agreste who was not unreasonable, domineering, and controlling.

“Have  _you_  done anything fun recently, Princess?” Adrien’s voice brought her back into the conversation. “I know you said you were super busy, but have you managed to squeeze something purely enjoyable into your schedule?”

Marinette blushed, guilt surging up her sternum. “I’m…yeah. Yeah, I have. You know that band that Rose and Ivan are in?”

“Kitty Section? What about it?”

“Well, I’ve been hanging out with them a lot. I’ve been working on promotional posters, new costumes, their album cover…going to get crêpes with the band…going dancing with the band. Jagged sent me tickets for his concert the other night, and I went with…with Luka, the guitarist. You remember Juleka’s older brother Luka?”

Adrien perked up. “Of course I remember Luka. He gave me guitar lessons for a while. He’s super cool!”

“Yeah, well, Luka was the only one able to go, so…so I went to the concert with Luka, and we got dinner and went for a walk afterwards, and…I had a really nice time. It was fun,” Marinette whispered almost plaintively.

Elise shifted uncomfortably, picking up on something that Adrien had missed.

Adrien lifted his head from her shoulder to give her a quirked eyebrow and a questioning look.

Elise smiled reassuringly, shaking her head and pulling him back into her.

Adrien settled against her and easily dismissed the incident.

“That’s good, Marinette,” Adrien replied cheerily. “I’m glad you got to do something fun, even though you’re really busy.”

“Y-Yeah. Thanks,” Marinette responded, an uncertainty to her voice. “Actually, I’ve been hanging out with Luka a lot lately. And the others, of course, but…Luka and I have been friends for a while; I just haven’t been spending a lot of time with him the past few years for one reason or another, but…recently I’ve been thinking it would be good to reconnect with him and a couple of my other old friends, so…Luka and I have been reconnecting.”

“That’s good!” Adrien encouraged. “I’ve been doing the same thing with Chloé and Kagami and Wayem, and I think that’s really helped me, widening my support system…. You know, it’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Luka too. Maybe once you and I are okay again, you, Luka, and I can all do something together.”

Marinette went stock still.

Elise squeezed Adrien a little tighter, sighing quietly as she nuzzled his hair.

“I’d love to see him.” Adrien chattered on obliviously. “I’ve always kind of had a platonic crush on him. He’s _super_ cool.”

“Haha. Yeah,” Marinette laughed through her internal panic. “I’m sure…I’m sure Luka would love to see you too. He thinks you’re really interesting—Listen, it’s been great talking with you, Adrien, but I have to go,” Marinette informed hurriedly.

“Oh,” Adrien replied softly in disappointment. “Well—”

“—Take care, okay?” Marinette cut him off in her rush to escape before she could be found out and end up hurting him even more. “I’m so glad things are going well. I miss you.”

She rang off before he could get a word in edgewise.

Adrien blinked down at the phone for a beat before lifting his head to blink at Elise. “What do you think that was about?”

Elise ruffled Adrien’s hair. “Oh, you know Marinette,” she chuckled nervously. “She’s such a spazz. She probably forgot she was supposed to be helping her parents or she left something in the oven too long or she suddenly remembered she needed to cancel her Netflix subscription or…you know.”

Adrien shrugged, sitting up. “Yeah. I am intimately acquainted with the varied ways Marinette can be a total spazz…but I think that went well, don’t you?” He looked up at his friend cheerfully, eyes sparkling in excitement.

Elise smiled sadly, muttering a subdued, “Yeah. Yeah, that went great, Candy Floss. I’m proud of you.”

Adrien frowned interrogatively. “What?”

Elise shook her head. “Nothing.”

“No. Seriously. What?” Adrien repeated. “What’s that look for? What did I screw up?”

Elise shook her head again. “Nothing. It’s not you. It’s…”

She didn’t have the heart to tell him what she suspected. She hoped she was wrong.

Elise wrapped her arms around him in a boa constrictor squeeze as she assured, “You did great. I can tell what good friends you and Marinette are, how close you are. Your friendship will weather this, Candy Floss. You’re going to get through this,” she whispered, praying she was right.

“Yeah,” Adrien agreed, nuzzling her auburn hair and relishing the easy affection. “I’m a lot better already. I’ll be ready when Marinette is. Thanks for your help, Lise.”

“Anytime.” Elise gave Adrien another squeeze and let him go. “Ready for another episode of Doctor Who?”

Adrien checked his phone for the time. “Aren’t we supposed to be memorizing tendons and ligaments and stuff? For your test on Tuesday?”

Elise frowned. “But…David Tennant.”

“But…your scholarship,” Adrien echoed, trying to keep from smiling. “Don’t make me have to pay for your med school. You know I’ll do it.”

Elise hissed like a cat. “Don’t you dare. I would never let you,” she scolded. “That is not the reason I’m friends with you, Adrien Agreste.”

“I know,” Adrien tittered. “That’s why I’d gladly do it. I don’t have a lot of people like you and Nino in my life. I want to take care of you like you take care of me…and financial backing is one way I can do that.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Shut your pie hole and go and get me the Pop-Tarts. I need sugar to study for my test.” She grabbed her bag from under the coffee table and pulled out her textbook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You there. Yes, you. I DARE you to write the missing chapter at the karaoke bar. In the alternative, if you're artsy (as I know some of you are), you should try your hand at drawing Adrien's karaoke outfit. Just a suggestion, but I would love to see your interpretations of the karaoke chapter and or Adrien's outfit. ^.^
> 
> Anyway. How did you like the chapter? I had fun with this one, particularly recounting Adrien's karaoke adventure. I had a friend once who liked eighties and nineties music. If not for her, I wouldn't have heard most of the songs mentioned, so if you like eighties music, thank Amy. If you don't like eighties music, blame Amy. It seemed like something Elise would like. She's the one who mostly picked songs for everyone. Adrien wanted to strangle her by the end, but he was a good sport about it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys. See you on Wednesday!
> 
> Songs:  
> (Adrien) Holding Out for a Hero: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GPZDX9_2oE  
> (Adrien and Nino) Total Eclipse of the Heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_NdBiLlVl8  
> (Adrien, Elise, and Chloé) It's Raining Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x6leDGV7gs  
> (Adrien) Like a Prayer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OECKknqIie0  
> (Adrien and Nino - this one didn't make it into the chapter, but they sang it and dedicate it to Alya) Livin' La Vida Loca: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltRgb4SJ1uk


	23. Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Tikki talk things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you enjoy today's chapter.

Meanwhile, Marinette was screaming into her throw pillow.

Tikki floated down and landed on Marinette’s knee. “It’s not that bad,” she tried to comfort her chosen.

Comforting Marinette had been a Herculean effort as of late. The freak outs and the breakdowns had only been getting worse, and, most of the time, Marinette couldn’t even identify why she was upset. The random, unpredictable, nameless panic (horror, dread, guilt) Marinette felt was wearing her down.

Marinette removed the pillow from her face to stare, lost, at Tikki. “Adrien thinks it’s great that I’m hanging out with Luka. He wants to hang out the three of us together. Can you imagine that? ‘Luka, this is the guy I’m still hopelessly in love with. Adrien, this is the guy I’ve been low-key crushing on for a few years now. And we’re dating! Surprise! I know you didn’t think there was anything more I could do to grind your heart into dust, but, guess what? I found a way!’”

Marinette groaned as she picked the pillow back up to resume smothering herself.

“Marinette,” Tikki called softly. “You owe it to yourself to give other people a chance. You spent years turning down others for Adrien, and there have been plenty of times when you regretted it. You’ve been thinking ‘what if’ about Luka for a long time now. Leave your baggage from Adrien at the door and let yourself be fully present with Luka.”

“Easier said than done,” Marinette retorted, but the pillow muffled her voice. “I’m afraid I’m not being fair to Luka.”

“You told him there was someone else when he asked you out,” Tikki reminded. “He went into this with his eyes open.”

“I don’t think I was as clear as I should have been about how big of a deal the someone else was,” Marinette muttered.

“Being with Luka makes you happy,” Tikki argued. “Let yourself be happy, Marinette. You don’t have to feel guilty about being happy.”

Marinette snorted. “I feel like I do when it’s at someone else’s expense.”

“Adrien doesn’t know,” Tikki reasoned. “You’re not hurting him.”

“Yet,” Marinette spat. “He’s going to find out.”

Tikki pursed her lips. “…Maybe…maybe just focus on yourself right now. As much as Adrien isn’t emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship at the moment, I don’t really think you are either. You’ve gotten better in recent years, but you’re about as guilty as he is of obsessing and idolizing. Until you’re able to accept him—not just as the gorgeous, smart, kind model but also as the damaged, jealous, self-sacrificing mess that he is—with all of his baggage in tow, you have no business being with that boy. You’ll only make him worse if you’re not healthy yourself and willing to be in a real relationship that’s going to take work.”

Marinette tucked the throw pillow behind her and laid back with a sigh. “Time to put my big girl pants on and get to work, huh?”

Tikki nodded. “Get out of your own head. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and sorry for others and just put that effort into fixing things already.”

With another sigh, Marinette nodded resolutely. “All right. Time to do better…. Do you think maybe I should get a guidance counselor or something? Nino mentioned that talking things out might help. I’ve been talking to him, and I know he doesn’t mind, that he’s happy to be there for me, but…it’s really not fair to poor Nino.”

“I think a guidance counselor might be good, Marinette. You can at least give it a try and see if it helps,” Tikki encouraged.

Marinette nodded again. “It couldn’t hurt. Okay. All right. I’ll talk to my parents.”

“Good.” Tikki hesitated before tentatively floating up to nuzzle Marinette’s cheek. “You’re doing a good job, Marinette. I’m really proud of you.”

Marinette chuckled and returned the nuzzle. “Thanks, Tikki.”

They both breathed a sigh of relief as they separated, smiling shyly at one another.

Their bond had been stretched to the limit over the past month. Trust had been broken, but things were slowly beginning to feel okay again and gradually return to normal.

“…So…you talked to Adrien,” Tikki remarked, unsure if she was allowed to speak on the topic.

Marinette nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I did, and, except for the part at the end, I think it went really well.”

Tikki nodded in enthusiastic agreement. “Yes, you two sounded like your usual selves. It…it was good to hear you sound happy.”

Marinette grimaced. “I haven’t been very happy lately, have I?”

Tikki slowly shook her head. “Only when you’re with Luka, really. I mean, you do have your moments now and then, but…it’s like you’ve had a little black cloud following you around these past few weeks.”

Marinette smiled sadly. “I feel…weighed down.”

Tikki went to curl up on Marinette’s shoulder. “You’ll bounce back.”

“I hope so,” Marinette sighed.

“…Adrien seems to have bounced back rather quickly, considering how devastated he was at first,” Tikki cautiously remarked.

“Yeah,” Marinette hummed contemplatively. “I honestly thought Nino was lying to try to make me feel better, but…Adrien is an optimistic person to start with, and he’s had a whole life full of personal tragedies to practice bouncing back from…. I didn’t mean to be more of the same for him.”

“Shh. Go back to blaming me for that,” Tikki coaxed.

Marinette tipped her head to rest against Tikki. “No. I always get on Adrien’s case for blaming others for his problems. I shouldn’t be a hypocrite.”

Tikki pet Marinette’s cheek. “Let’s do something else. Let’s do something fun.”

“I’m too tired for fun,” Marinette groaned.

Tikki bit her lip and decided to take a calculated risk in hopes of distracting her chosen from her sullen mood. “Then how about we look up those photos of Adrien at karaoke on Thursday. There are always surreptitious photos of him on social media. I bet you could just Google ‘Adrien Agreste karaoke’ and get a bunch of photos and videos.”

Marinette narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her brow as she considered Tikki’s proposal. “That…I mean…I _am_ curious about his outfit, and I’d be interested in hearing him sing, but…wouldn’t it be wrong to ogle photos of another guy—especially _that_ guy—while I’m dating Luka? That’s not cheating, is it?”

Tikki rolled her lips back over her teeth and bit down thoughtfully. “Hmm. I think…it’s okay. You’re not flirting with Adrien or exchanging physical affection. You’re just looking at photos.”

“I feel like it’s possible to mentally and emotionally be unfaithful,” Marinette grumbled. “I mean, I wouldn’t want Adrien to be looking at pictures of other girls and thinking of girls besides me, so…”

Tikki winced. “You mean Luka.”

Marinette’s face went as red as Alya’s favourite lipstick. “Yeah. That one. That’s the one I meant.”

“Then don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Tikki sighed. “I’m not a human being, Marinette. I don’t fully understand your system of values and morals, so _you’re_ the best judge of this. Don’t do anything you think is wrong.”

“Well, as evidenced just now by my slipup, apparently I’m already the kind of scum that emotionally cheats on her wonderful, sweet, kind, understanding boyfriend, so what more harm could looking at some pictures do?” Marinette scoffed in frustration with herself as she opened up Google on her phone.

The first search results came back and fried Marinette’s brain. “Ngh,” she whimpered.

Tikki floated up to take a look. “Oh my,” she snickered. “I can’t believe Plagg let him go out like that. No wonder he was getting hit on so aggressively. I’m no expert in the attractiveness of human beings, but he looks like a desirable mate. That outfit really displays all of his assets: strong arms, core strength, toned—”

“—Yes, Tikki. I can see his assets, thank you. No need to draw any more attention to them,” Marinette groaned. “…I’m just now realizing that I have totally screwed up my life.”

Tikki arched an eyebrow. “Why? What do you mean?”

“I could be having sex with _that_ right now, and I’m not,” Marinette whined, jabbing a finger at her screen. “Clearly, I have committed some egregious error.”

Tikki rolled her eyes. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You know as well as I do that a relationship is more than just lust. You want more from him than that, and you know it.”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed. “And he gets enough of being objectified on a daily basis, but…guys aren’t the only ones with hormones, and I’ve wanted him for literal _years_.”

“Well, you don’t need to be sleeping with _anyone_ right now. Being someone’s mate complicates things, Marinette. It’s messy. I’ve seen it before, and I’m telling you that you don’t need those kinds of complications.”

Marinette grumbled sullenly. “Nino and Alya manage just fine.”

“Nino and Alya have excellent communication and honesty on their side,” Tikki retorted.

“But…my partnership with Chat is unshakeable,” Marinette argued. “We communicate with glances and minuscule muscle twitches. We’ve taken nonverbal communication and made it into an art form!”

“You and Adrien may be in perfect sync when you fight together, but, out of battle, you’re not on the same page. You’re not even on the same chapter. You might not be reading the same book!” Tikki scoffed. “Your _verbal_ communication could use some work. And your honesty.”

“Are we forgetting whose fault the honesty issue is? I’m as honest with him as I can be,” Marinette argued.

“You don’t trust him.”

“I trust him more than anyone!” Marinette laughed bitterly. “I trust him with my life.”

“But not your heart,” Tikki countered. “Okay. To be fair to you, you did need some space to sort through your feelings for Adrien and Chat after you found out they were one and the same. That was fine. You did the mature thing to recognize you weren’t ready to be in a relationship even though you wanted to. But now that you’ve processed your feelings and realize you still love him, what are you doing?”

“I’m dating Luka for some stability…to try to see if I can be happy with somebody else…and so that I don’t have regrets about never dating other people,” Marinette recited from the list she had written out before agreeing to date Luka.

Tikki nodded diplomatically. “Okay. Yes. That too, and that’s good, Marinette. That’s healthy, but what I was going to say was that you’re hiding. You’re scared to accept Adrien as he is. You’ve wanted him so long and imagined what it would be like to be together, and now that it’s happening, you’re scared because it isn’t anything like you’d dreamed it would be. He’s not exactly the person you thought he was, and you’re intimidated by the amount of work you’re going to have to put in to make a relationship with him work. And that’s okay,” Tikki assured.

“That’s okay,” she repeated. “It’s fine to be scared. It’s normal to have doubts. It’s okay if you decide you really don’t want to be in a relationship with Adrien after all. You have the right to make that decision. If you decide it’s too hard or too draining or too overwhelming, it’s perfectly okay to say no.”

“Then why are you scolding me?” Marinette muttered.

“Because you’re not dealing with the problem; you’re avoiding it. It was fine to create some space between you and Adrien when you were sorting out your feelings and coming to terms with things, but now you’re just avoiding him because you don’t want to take the next step and deal with the issues,” Tikki accused as kindly as she could, hoping to help Marinette see where she needed to go from there to start fixing things.

Marinette frowned. “But Nino said that I should keep away from Adrien so he could get better and not end up using me as a crutch.”

“Ask Nino if he still thinks that’s the case, but that was, what? Two weeks ago? And Adrien sounded like he’d made huge improvements on the phone just now. I think it’s time to start trying to repair the friendship.”

“I don’t know if I can go back to how things were with Adrien without cheating on Luka,” Marinette admitted with a sigh of disappointment in herself. She was supposed to be _better_ than this.

“Well, don’t jump back in where you left off. Give the both of you a little more room than that—no snuggling, no texting each other until early in the morning, and no more pseudo-dates—but start actively trying to be friends with him again. Maybe hang out in a group?”

Marinette made a soft, reluctant sound. “Maybe…maybe next week.”

“Don’t put it off,” Tikki warned. “You’ll never actually carry through if you start procrastinating now.”

“I called him today, didn’t I? I talked to him of my own free will. That’s progress, isn’t it?” Marinette whined. “This is hard! I’m really, really terrified of screwing this up and hurting him even more!”

Tikki flew in to softly pet Marinette’s hair. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re doing well, but I know you’re capable of pushing yourself a little harder. It may not be pleasant, but it will be worth it. Your friendship with Adrien is worth it.”

Marinette made a small noise of agreement. “I’ll…talk to Nino…in a day or two.”

“I’m going to remind you to do so,” Tikki warned. “You can do this, Marinette. You’re Ladybug.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel much like Ladybug,” Marinette groaned, waking up her phone screen to stare at the photos of Adrien.

She sighed dreamily and wondered what it would feel like to run her hands over his—

“—This is definitely cheating on Luka,” she decided, forcing herself to close the window with the photos. She clicked open one of the videos instead to listen to the music.

The one she selected ended up being Adrien singing Mama Mia.

Guilt flooded Marinette’s chest at the sincerity with which Adrien sang the words.

She skipped to another video, the one of Elise, Chloé, and Adrien singing It’s Raining Men. She watched Nino and Adrien’s duet after that and was in the middle of Adrien singing Like a Prayer when her phone rang.

Marinette fumbled the device and had to retrieve it from under her chaise. She glanced at the screen, and even more guilt was heaped on top of the generous serving she was already wading through.

It was Luka calling.

“H-Hey!” she greeted, injecting false cheerfulness into her voice. “Hey. I was just…I was just thinking of you.”

She had got to get her life in order. Things could not continue like this. She was only hurting everyone involved by being indecisive and hesitating.

She remembered Tikki’s advice to be fully present with Luka.

“Hey, are you free this evening?” she suddenly interjected. “If so, let’s go on a date. I can make dinner for us, and we can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie or maybe go for a walk by the Seine. You could play me your newest song, and I could show you the designs I’ve been working on…. I’m kind of feeling a little down, and I…I want to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On an unrelated note, I have Electra's exit aria from Idomeneo stuck in my head because I'm trying to find a good video to show you guys when Adrien mentions it later.
> 
> Also, you need to go read Karaoke Bar: Chapter 21.5 by TransientPokemonMaster: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460023 (Thank you so much!!! ^o^) It’s lovely!
> 
> See you on Friday!
> 
> Mamma Mia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwDOUY_VLG0


	24. Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Adrien have an awkward but necessary father-son talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Welcome back for another chapter. Thank you so much to all of you readers for coming back again and again, and thank you especially to everyone who has left comments and kudos or bookmarked the story. I'm always grateful for your support. Unfortunately, replying to comments has really gotten away from me. :/ I'm going to keep trying to catch up, but, in the meantime, know that I do really appreciate your comments. A lot of the feedback is terribly interesting. I must say, I'm really surprised and pleased that people are so emotionally invested in this story!

Gabriel really wanted to akumatize someone. Honestly, he needed the stress relief because the deadlines were closing in on him, and the backers kept changing their minds, and he was about ready to tear his hair out.

He briefly considered taking up yoga or meditation. He’d read something about those being good for stress in one of the books about anxiety he’d read to help Adrien.

Gabriel looked down at his screen and sighed. He’d been working on this last-minute project for the past three hours, and he really needed a break. He couldn’t take a break if he wanted to go to sleep at a decent time. 

He really wanted to go whine at Nathalie. She would have something constructive to say.

He was also tempted to go find Plagg. Plagg had elevated kvetching to an art form, and Plagg would definitely have a snarky and poignant remark that would make Gabriel’s personal deadline hell a bit more bearable.

It was at this time that Gabriel was surprised to find himself thinking about Nooroo. The little kwami had always been so…oddly enough, supportive. Tentatively encouraging Gabriel…only to be snapped at, fussing over Gabriel’s health and well-being (to be forcibly silenced), worrying when Gabriel pushed himself too hard, hesitantly trying to comfort Gabriel when he failed time and time again…Nooroo had been unwavering in his dedication to his master. And Gabriel had treated Nooroo as a tool, a thing with no thoughts or feelings.

Gabriel had never thought of kwamis as sentient beings before meeting Plagg, and now—

There was a knock at the atelier door.

“Come in?”

Adrien tentatively peeked his head inside. “Hi, Dad. Is now a good time?” 

Adrien mentally crossed his fingers because it hadn’t been a good time the past week and a half, and now he only had two hours until he had to leave if he were going to go.

Gabriel looked down at the urgent email that required an immediate response. He pursed his lips. “Is this important?”

Adrien wilted slightly and was forced to admit, “…No. No, it’s not important. I just had to ask your permission for something.”

“Then why don’t you ask Nathalie?” Gabriel proposed, delighting in the fact that he now had an official co-parent in his fiancée to whom he could cede authority without society criticizing him for neglecting his child.

“I already did,” Adrien begrudgingly confessed.

Gabriel’s brow creased in confusion. “And…?”

“She said yes, but then she said I needed to go ask you because you would most likely say no,” Adrien informed out of the side of his mouth, reluctantly releasing the information.

“Can this wait?” Gabriel looked back down at his screen and the additional emails that had arrived that he’d need to deal with. “I’m actually quite busy at the moment, and I don’t really have time for—”

Gabriel stopped dead when he realized he was about to tell his son that he didn’t have time for him.

Gabriel closed his mouth, really looked at Adrien—hopeful yet not truly believing, battered dog wondering if he was going to get kicked _this_ time—and sighed. “Give me ten minutes to finish this email correspondence. Can this wait ten minutes?”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien replied, brightening incrementally.

“All right. Go wait for me in the dining room in the seating area. If I’m not there in ten minutes, please come back and remind me that part of the reason I’m even running this fashion empire in the first place is to provide for my son. I get caught up in the work and forget sometimes,” Gabriel confessed with a weary sigh.

Adrien grinned, practically glowing at being reminded that he was important. “Thanks, Dad.”

It was concerning how easy it was to make that boy happy.

 

“All right,” Gabriel sighed, taking a seat across the coffee table from Adrien. “What did you need to ask my permission for that Nathalie thinks I’m going to veto?”

Adrien bit his lip. “So…there’s this party.”

“Oh,” Gabriel groaned. “I see.”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed.

“Keep talking,” Gabriel urged. “I’ll try to be open-minded.”

“Chloé’s throwing a graduation party tonight since…well, you know. We graduated high school this morning,” Adrien continued awkwardly.

Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek. “How many people are going to be there?”

“One or two hundred-ish?” Adrien guesstimated. “The people from our year mostly and their dates and plus ones.”

Gabriel nodded. “And where is this party taking place?”

“Chloé rented a boat. They’re going to do the same stretch up and down the Seine as the bateaux mouches from the Eiffel Tower to just past Notre Dame.”

“And will there be drinking?” Gabriel continued his investigation.

Adrien winced. “Well…we’re all eighteen now, so…”

“If you were allowed to go, would _you_ be drinking?” Gabriel changed the question.

Adrien opened his mouth to vehemently deny any intention of wrongdoing, but Gabriel cut him off.

“—Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear. How am I supposed to trust you on your own if we can’t sit down and honestly discuss expectations and guidelines and-and…I forget what else the parenting guidebooks said, but the gist of it was that you were supposed to be able to tell me you were thinking about having sex, and then I was not to overreact and forbid it and lock you in your room as would be my natural inclination, but I was instead to make sure that you were having safe sex instead of going behind my back. I assume that the same principles apply to allowing you to go to parties or karaoke or what have you.”

Adrien winced again, trying not to think too hard about this very awkward conversation they were having. “Okay. Fine. So if you let me go to the party, I’ll probably sip at a glass of wine or two depending on if there’s food to have with it, but, regardless, I’m not going to get drunk because I know being drunk in public is against the rules for very good reasons. Even if it weren’t, I can’t get drunk because what if there’s an akuma? I have to be sober enough to fight. If I’m not, who’s going to protect Ma—My Lady?”

Gabriel nodded slowly. “That’s…very mature of you.” His son seemed to be constantly surprising him now that Gabriel took the time to notice.

Adrien shrugged. “A lot of people count on me to keep them safe; I don’t have the luxury of being a stupid teenager. Besides, I’d never forgive myself if I were irresponsible and something happened to Ladybug because of it…. I love her too much to risk it.”

Suddenly, from the look in Adrien’s eyes and the expression on his face, Gabriel thought he knew who Ladybug was, and it was a very scary thought.

“Wouldn’t you do the same for Mother or Nathalie?” Adrien tried to make Gabriel understand, not knowing the truth of how far exactly his father had gone for Emilie.

“Of course,” Gabriel replied softly. “…So…I gather that I don’t need to worry about your comportment, if I allow you to go to this party?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not advertently going to get myself on the front of the gossip rags. I was just planning on dancing and chatting with friends. And, I mean, it’s been years since I’ve done a boat ride down the Seine, so that sounded like fun,” Adrien tentatively made his case.

Gabriel snickered, “So no dancing on tables or singing in public tonight?”

Adrien’s face went strawberry red. “There was no table dancing the other night either,” he protested. “I know that if I want to dance on tables, I’ll have to do so as Chat Noir because Adrien Agreste would never get away with it.”

“Is dancing on tables something you would be interested in?” Gabriel had to wonder.

Adrien pursed his lips in thought for a moment before replying. “…Yes? It looks like fun.”

“…Don’t they often dance on tables in musicals? Perhaps we could find you a suitable musical to participate in,” Gabriel offered, trying to be supportive without having a solid grasp of how one managed that.

Adrien stared at his father, wondering how the man had transformed so much in such a short amount of time and, furthermore, _why_. Had it been because of Adrien’s struggles as of late? If Adrien had known that all it would take to get his father’s attention would be to have a mental breakdown, Adrien would have done so years earlier.

“I…would really, really like that,” Adrien replied in a small voice that hinted at how afraid he was to believe the proposal was a genuine one, lest he wind up disappointed yet again.

“Perhaps the four of us can watch some musicals together to try to find a good fit?” Gabriel suggested. “If Plagg doesn’t mind musicals.”

Truthfully, the prospect of theatre coming back into his life without Emilie along with it was an uncomfortable one for Gabriel, but…if it was important to Adrien…if theatre was something Adrien really wanted to do…

“Could we actually?” Adrien gawked openly at his father. “You’d be okay with that?”

Gabriel shifted, unsettled. “I’ve decided to work on being okay with it. If you’re serious?”

Adrien nodded. “I’ve always loved acting. These past few years…” He swallowed down the upwelling emotion. “I’ve missed it. I would really like acting to be a part of my life again, even without…”

Gabriel took a deep breath. “…Your mother would be proud of you. She…Emilie could chatter on about plays for hours…. I’m sorry that she’s not here to share this with you. I’m sorry that I can’t…can’t talk about theatre like she could.”

Adrien shook his head and smiled softly. “It’s okay, Dad. It’s not your fault.”

Gabriel was about to reply that it really was, even if Adrien couldn’t understand that at the moment, but Plagg poked his head out of Adrien’s shirt collar and fixed Gabriel with a knowing look.

“Gabe,” Plagg intoned. “What have we been talking about? Emilie isn’t your fault, okay?”

Gabriel grumbled in dissent. “We shall have to continue our debate on the subject of what exactly I am to be held accountable for at a later date, Plagg, as we still find ourselves in disagreement.”

“I’m going to win this debate,” Plagg warned. “But not in front of the kid.”

Gabriel gave a snort, and Plagg disappeared back down Adrien’s shirt out of habit.

Adrien furrowed his brow. “Do I want to know?”

“I don’t know,” Gabriel answered honestly. “You’d probably want to know but then regret knowing. I’ll tell you in a few years, though. If or when you ever decide to move out. It will perhaps be easier to tell you if you’re leaving anyway.”

Adrien’s frown deepened. “Now I’m concerned. You haven’t killed anyone, have you?” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Gabriel’s eyebrows inched together almost imperceptibly…because he _had_. All the people killed when akuma destroyed buildings. All the people drowned when akuma put Paris underwater. The people frozen when Paris was encapsulated in ice. _Adrien_. Gabriel had killed Adrien so many times, it made him sick to even think about it.

Gabriel needed to buy Marinette some really high-end supplies in order to thank her for handing Gabriel his own behind and reviving his son so many times.

“Dad?” Adrien eyed him warily.

“No one is currently deceased by my doing,” Gabriel finally replied. “…Where were we?”

Adrien bit his lip, studying his father for a moment longer before shaking off the odd occurrence. “I was wondering…why did I never get in trouble for karaoke last week? I deliberately misled you and did something I knew you wouldn’t approve of.”

Gabriel took a deep breath and switched the cross of his legs. “That. Is a good question. By all rights, I should have grounded you and taken away privileges. The guidebooks recommend punishing you with the natural and logical consequences of your actions, so I was thinking I should say no the next few times you asked to do something to show you that when you’re dishonest with me, you lose my trust.”

“Sorry,” Adrien mumbled, casting his eyes downward.

“That makes two of us,” Gabriel sighed softly, his words painted with remorse. “I was disappointed that you felt the need to be dishonest with me. I know we’ve historically struggled with communication, but I thought we were doing better lately.”

“I _really_ wanted to go,” Adrien whispered plaintively at his feet. “I was having a tough day at school. I gave eating in the lunchroom with Nino and Chloé and Sabrina another shot, and…it was pretty stressful, so, later, when Nino suggested karaoke with the gang…I really wanted to go,” Adrien repeated. “And you would have said no.”

“Of course I would have said no,” Gabriel sighed. “And I would have been wrong.”

Adrien cautiously looked up, a dozen questions in his gaze. “Really?”

Gabriel nodded. “You are aware that we monitor social media for mentions of you, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Apparently, Nathalie was informed not long after you arrived at the bar that you had been sighted there. She analyzed the situation and made the decision not to inform me until three quarters of the way into the night. I was exceedingly displeased, as I’m sure you can imagine; however, Nathalie interceded on your behalf. The feedback on social media was overwhelmingly positive. There was no dancing on tables or public displays of intoxication. The song choices, while full of sexual undertones were not explicitly or inappropriately sexual. You were behaving well, and you even sang well. No disgrace brought upon the company. No stain on your own reputation. Just…you being a normal teenager. It was almost as if you were a mature young adult who could be trusted to go out in public unsupervised. Nathalie showed me the videos and pictures, and I was proud of you.”

It took Adrien a minute to formulate an answer through his shock. “Really?”

“Yes,” Gabriel insisted, meeting his son’s gaze. “I was proud of how you could go out and have fun but still make responsible choices on behalf of yourself and the company. It reflects well on how Emilie and Nathalie raised you. I was proud that, even though you’ve been somewhat more restricted than your peers throughout your life, you didn’t take advantage of your newfound freedom and go wild as soon as you were able. And while I still am not comfortable with the idea of you going out to bars and such establishments, it’s good to know that I can trust you to go and beave in a manner befitting yourself and your family. I never would have known that if you had been completely honest about your plans.”

“So that’s why you didn’t say anything,” Adrien muttered in understanding.

Gabriel nodded. “I didn’t want to condone your dishonesty by praising you for your actions, but it would have been wrong to punish you for doing something that, as a technical adult, you had the technical right to do.”

“So…the party tonight?” Adrien inquired tentatively.

Gabriel pressed his lips into a thin line. “While you _have_ proven that you can be trusted to comport yourself appropriately in an informal social setting…I still have my reservations about allowing you to attend this event. Is Miss Dupain-Cheng going to be there?”

Adrien winced. “Maybe? Chloé said she’d invited the whole year, so I assume Marinette was invited, but it’s not like I’ve been able to ask her about whether she’s going. I haven’t spoken with her since she called me a week ago, so…” Adrien gave a half-hearted shrug.

Gabriel’s frown deepened. “Well, which friends are you going to be spending the party with? I suspect Miss Bourgeois will be busy with her hostess duties and will not be able to spend the entire evening with you. How about Miss Raincomprix?”

Adrien’s shoulders rose up to meet his ears. “Sabrina doesn’t exactly…like me. She’ll be nice and hang out with me if we’re together with Chloé, but I doubt she’d spend time with me on her own.”

“Is there a reason she doesn’t like you?” Gabriel pried, wondering if there was anything he could do to fix it for his son. “Did you two have a fight?”

Adrien gradually shrank further. “So…Sabrina doesn’t like it when other people are around Chloé. She gets kind of jealous, so the fact that I’ve been friends with Chloé longer bothers her, and now that Chloé and I are spending time alone without Sabrina…”

Gabriel raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Does Miss Raincomprix not understand that it is possible to be friends with more than one person at a time?”

Adrien averted his gaze. “Okay, so…pretend that Sabrina is Chloé’s boyfriend and Chloé is spending all this time and being affectionate with another guy—me. Does that make the situation make more sense?”

Gabriel’s eyes widened. “Does…Is… _Is_ Miss Raincomprix Miss Bourgeois’s…boyfriend?”

Society nowadays disconcerted Gabriel at times. Emilie would have smacked him for being a homophobe, but Gabriel couldn’t help but feel that two women dating each other wasn’t quite right.

Adrien shook his head like a dog shaking off water. “Chloé isn’t interested in Sabrina like that. She likes guys…I think…and Ladybug…and maybe Kagami, if Elise is to be believed…but Chloé doesn’t like Sabrina, and I don’t even know that Sabrina actually has those kinds of feelings for Chloé either, but the situation between Sabrina and me is a similar kind of hostility.”

“I…see.” Gabriel did not, really. “So…is Miss Tsurugi going to be attending?”

Adrien kept averting his gaze. “Uh…Chloé invited her, even though she doesn’t go to our school, but Kagami’s mother said she couldn’t go.”

Gabriel nodded. “Was Miss O’Leary invited? I realize she is not a student at your school either, but I’ve noticed that you, Miss O’Leary, Miss Bourgeois, Miss Tsurugi, and Monsieur Lahiffe have been spending time together often as of late.”

Adrien nodded. “Elise was invited, but she already had plans with her dad’s family visiting from Ireland, so she’s not going to be able to make it.”

Gabriel’s brow scrunched. “Then…whom are you to be spending the evening with? Miss Césaire?”

Adrien grimaced. “She’s…probably going to be with Marinette if she’s there. I mean, I’m guessing Alya will be there because Nino is DJing, and Alya never misses one of his gigs, so if Marinette isn’t at the party I’ll hang out with Alya, but…”

“So…you’ll primarily be spending the party with Monsieur Lahiffe?” Gabriel tried to pin down the answer.

Adrien shrugged. “Nino will be busy working. Chloé is actually paying him to DJ, so he probably won’t have a lot of time to spend with me, but I can hang out near the DJ booth, and we can talk between songs.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to ask a question that had been buzzing in the back of his mind since he had seen photos of his son dancing with Nino Lahiffe a week and a half before…but Gabriel lost his nerve to ask.

“What?” Adrien’s brow creased. “What’s that face for?”

Gabriel opened and closed his mouth twice more before managing to form the words, “What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Monsieur Lahiffe?”

Adrien’s eyebrow arched. “Nino’s my best friend. Why?”

Gabriel’s eye twitched. “Well…he’s always been very protective of you…very vocal about how not a good parent I am…and I know he and Miss Césaire have been dating for some time, but…the videos of you two singing together…and the pictures of you dancing…it just…it looks a little…intimate, to put it delicately.”

“O-Oh.” Adrien blushed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “You think? Um…Well…Nino’s just a friend, so…do friends not…act like that? Nino, Alya, Marinette, Chloé, Elise, and Wayem are all really affectionate, and those are the only close friends I’ve ever had besides Kagami, and I just thought she was different because of her Japanese upbringing, so…”

Gabriel bit his lip, wondering if his son was right. Gabriel hadn’t had many close relationships himself, and he wasn’t exactly familiar with how young people interacted. “Perhaps you’re right,” Gabriel conceded. “Perhaps that _is_ how people of your generation express friendly affection, but to someone of my age, two young men hanging on each other like that is…”

“Is…this a problem?” Adrien inquired, voice shaking with nerves, a cold panic on his face.

Gabriel thought carefully before responding. “Not…necessarily…. Adrien…do you…are you…interested in men?”

Adrien choked, spluttering, “I mean… No?” He winced. “Not…like that. I know there are a bunch of different labels; I’m not sure which one applies to me, but while I do find men attractive from the waist up, I’m not interested in sleeping with guys, so…okay?”

“…Okay.” Gabriel nodded. “Thank you…for talking about that with me.”

“Sure.” Adrien shifted uncomfortably. “You’re welcome.”

“Adrien?” Gabriel called hesitantly.

Adrien cocked his head to the side.

“I would love you anyway,” Gabriel assured. “If you did…if you _were_ … I would still love you,” Gabriel stressed, trying to get his point across even as he tripped over his words. “I just don’t think I could…accept…your boyfriend, if you were to have a boyfriend. The parenting guidebooks say that I cannot forbid you from dating men, but…I would very much like to forbid you from dating men.”

Adrien smiled sadly. “I don’t foresee this being a problem. There’s only one person I’m interested in dating, so…”

Gabriel swallowed hard. “R-Right. Okay…. Good.”

There was an awkward beat before Adrien took it upon himself to steer the conversation back to less treacherous waters. “So…party?”

“Right.” Gabriel cleared his throat. “Adrien, I’m not so sure about this. Maybe if the party were on a stationary vessel or if more of your friend group were going to be present or if Miss O’Leary were there to supervise, but…I’m not sure that it’s a good idea for you to be trapped onboard with no way to escape as Adrien in case something happens that upsets you.”

“Please?” Adrien begged. “I’ll be fine. Plagg will be with me.”

“Kid, I’m always with you,” Plagg scoffed. “Fat lot of good it does most of the time. I’m not so sure about this party either.”

“Come on,” Adrien wheedled. “It’s probably going to be the last chance I have to hang out with all of my schoolmates before we go off our separate ways for university and life and everything. Even if it’s challenging and makes me a little anxious like eating down in the lunchroom, I still want to go.”

Gabriel reached up to run a hand through his hair. “I’m going to regret this,” he sighed.

Adrien brightened. “I can go?”

“You may go,” Gabriel groaned, taking off his glasses to rub at the bridge of his nose. “But you call me if there’s any kind of issue at all. I’ll be up half the night working on this project anyway, so don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Dad! You rock!” Adrien cheered, bouncing to his feet.

Gabriel reluctantly stood. “I’m not so sure about that…. You know the rules?”

“No drinking to excess, no making out with anyone in public, always be courteous and polite,” Adrien listed. “behave in a way that reflects well on the company and the Agreste name, always act as if you’re on camera because you just might be…” Adrien cocked an eyebrow at his father. “Am I forgetting anything?”

Gabriel smiled wanly. “I think that will suffice for tonight. Please be safe, and please, please have a good time.”

“I’ll do my best,” Adrien assured, secretly delighting in the fact that his father had just said “please”—a previously unheard of word—three times in the same sentence. “You know, providing Chloé doesn’t get anyone akumatized.”

“She’s gotten better about that in recent years,” Gabriel remarked, walking with Adrien out into the foyer. Lila had been picking up the slack.

“Yeah, but she’s still got a higher body count than almost anyone, and all her usual victims will be in attendance, so…”

“Well, maybe you’ll get lucky and Papillon will stay quiet a little longer,” Gabriel offered.

Adrien hummed softly. “I wonder if he’s on an extended holiday or something…. Is it totally weird that I kind of miss him?” Adrien glanced hesitantly up at his father.

Gabriel winced. “What? Are you bored? There are dozens of much safer things to do than fighting supervillains. Don’t miss Papillon.”

Adrien shrugged, making for the staircase up to his room. “Thanks again, Dad!”

Gabriel watched his son go, praying this party wasn’t a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, if you haven't already read Karaoke Bar: Chapter 21.5 by TransientPokemonMaster, you should go do so. It will give you a break from the drama and a good chuckle: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460023
> 
> I had fun with this chapter. I always have fun with Gabriel. He's really trying, even though he's completely out of his element. It was actually a bit of a slog in places trying to get Gabriel and Adrien to actually talk about some things. They kept squirming and complaining about how awkward this was and how they really didn't want to be having this conversation. I think, in the end, that I won, but I hope this chapter doesn't feel too awkwardly written as a result of the characters awkwardness. ^.^;
> 
> The next update will be on Monday, 07/08/2019, so I'll see you guys then. Look forward to the start of the party arc.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	25. Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Graduation Party: Part One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Welcome back for the first graduation party chapter. Updates this week are going to be Monday 07/08/2019, Wednesday 07/10/2019, and Friday 07/12/2019.
> 
> I did not catch up at ALL on replying to comments over my long weekend. -.-; I did get a lot of writing done, though, so at least there's that. Thank you all so much for your lovely comments, kudos, and bookmarks!

“A-Adrien. Mec. What are you doing here?” Nino’s normally caramel-brown skin turned the color of a latte that’d been made with too much milk and too little espresso.

Adrien frowned as he came to a stop by the DJ’s booth. “Am…I not supposed to be here? Chloé invited me, so…”

Nino laughed nervously, pasting on a smile and waving his hands. “No. No, I just meant…did you sneak out or something? Because I didn’t think old Gabe would ever let you actually come.”

Adrien shrugged. “It took a little bit of convincing, but…here I am with parental leave and everything.”

Nino bit his lip as he cast a glance around the packed dancefloor for Marinette and Luka. “That’s…that’s great, Mec. Hey. Listen. Who are you hanging out with?”

“No one so far.” Adrien reached up to run a hand through his hair but stopped when he remembered the styling gel. “I was just kind of cruising the perimeter. I’m not actually sure what I’m supposed to do at an informal party like this. I’ve been to so few, and, here, there are no backers to schmooze with, no press to impress, no influential models or designers or potential investors… This is all kind of weird for me.”

Nino pushed the pause button on his panic to smile fondly at his friend. “My Dude, at a party, you dance and drink and eat and talk and laugh. In uni, if your old man continues to mellow, I’m taking you out and socializing you. We are gonna hit up so many parties.”

“I don’t know if I like parties,” Adrien chuckled sheepishly, taking in the writhing mass of bodies covering the enclosed portion of the lower deck of the ship. “There are a lot of people…and I think I have a touch of agoraphobia.”

“Hey, no worries,” Nino replied soothingly, resting a hand on Adrien’s arm. “Nothing bad’s going to happen; I’m with you.”

Adrien smiled shyly, eternally grateful for Nino. “Thanks, Man.”

Nino winked. “Why don’t you hang with me for a bit, if you’ve got nothing better to do? Obviously, I have to do my job, but we can talk in between.”

Adrien nodded, giving Nino’s fedora a playful flick. “Sounds good.”

Adrien spent about a third of the party with Nino before splitting off.

“I should go find Chloé,” Adrien informed. “I saw her briefly when I got here, but she said to come grab her later because she wanted to hang out. She said I owe her a dance because I’m the only guy here who can dance the girl’s part too, and she wants a chance to lead instead of just being led around.”

Nino snorted in laughter at that. “Oh? So you do it backwards in heels too?”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t mean to brag, but I’m multitalented. Dancing in heels sucks, though.”

Nino lifted an eyebrow. “Seriously, Bro?”

Adrien nodded earnestly. “A couple years ago Helen Griffin, the English fashion designer, brought her son and her son’s friend with her for a vacation while she was doing a runway show here. One of her models broke a leg the day before the show, though, so her son’s friend filled in.”

“How does this explain how you can dance in heels?” Nino wondered.

“The model was female. The son’s friend was male…and the best cross-dresser I’ve ever seen. He may have taught me a few things,” Adrien chuckled.

“Oh, yeah?” Nino snickered. “Do you make a pretty girl, Adrien Agreste?”

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Adrien assured. “Now, I’m going to go find Chloé. You behave yourself.”

“Uh, wait!” Nino caught Adrien by the arm. “Hey. So…” His brow creased in obvious concern. “Look. You remember Juleka’s brother Luka, yeah?”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah? What about him?”

Nino pursed his lips. “I can’t explain right now, but steer clear of him if you happen to see him tonight, okay?”

Adrien’s eyebrow quirked in confusion. “Why?”

“Trust me,” Nino stressed. “Please?”

“But…why?” Adrien repeated.

“I have a really good reason,” Nino promised.

“Okay. What is it?” Adrien snorted.

Nino winced. “I’ll tell you later?”

Adrien stared at his best friend without replying.

“It’s a really, really good reason.” Nino failed to sound convincing.

Adrien shrugged. “I mean…if you say so. See you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” Nino sighed in defeat. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

Adrien raised a hand in parting as he set off to find Chloé.

This actually proved to be a simple task. Chloé’s party dress was a shimmering black, white, and lemon yellow that stood out on the edge of the dance floor, far from the mosh pit.

“Hey, Chlo!” Adrien called. “Great party.”

Chloé squealed with delight, leaving Sabrina mid-sentence to throw herself into Adrien’s arms. “Adri-chou!!!” she trilled like the Queen of the Night from Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

Adrien braced himself for impact and caught her in a crushing hug.

“I thought Nino was going to hog you all night,” she snorted, placing air kisses to the sides of his cheeks. “I’m so glad you finally snuck away.”

She pulled back slightly to take in his black pinstriped shirt, grey vest, and green tie appreciatively. “Again, I _love_ the outfit.”

“You’re looking pretty radiant yourself,” Adrien replied with a wink.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Chloé snickered, taking him by the hand and tugging him towards the dancefloor. “Come. You owe me at least half a dozen dances for keeping me waiting so long.”

“Uh…what about Sabrina?” Adrien looked helplessly at the redheaded girl who was currently glaring at him.

Chloé looked back over her shoulder and smiled.

Sabrina perked up instantly.

“Sabrina, be a dear and go get Adri-chou and me some refreshments. We’re going to be parched when we’re through.”

“I don’t need anything, Sabrina,” Adrien assured even as Chloé dragged him off. “Sorry!”

Sabrina’s hands balled into fists, and Adrien began to worry about the girl getting akumatized and coming after him. He wanted to reassure Sabrina, but he really didn’t know what to say. “There’s nothing romantic going on between me and Chloé”? “Chloé can be friends with more than one person at a time”? “You’re still her best friend, Sabrina”? Nothing he could think of seemed accurate or adequate for the situation he found himself in.

In any case, Chloé led Adrien around the dancefloor for half an hour before complaining that her shoes were bothering her.

Adrien and Chloé made their way back to where Sabrina was waiting like a faithful dog with refreshments for the both of them.

“Thank you,” Adrien replied sheepishly as Sabrina sullenly pressed a drink into his hand.

Sabrina gave a little snort of indignance before turning to take off Chloé’s shoes and massage her feet while Chloé made herself comfortable in one of the chairs set up along the periphery.

The trio chatted for another twenty minutes before Adrien, feeling very much like a third wheel, made his excuses and headed off to find more friends to spend time with.

He walked around for a while and didn’t bump into anyone he had ever been particularly close with. He danced one song with Aurore and another with Mireille before he ended up leaning against the far wall, sipping at a glass of champagne and watching the dancers.

“Doing okay?” Plagg whispered from Adrien’s collar.

“Yeah,” Adrien mumbled into his champagne flute. “This is actually going really well. I’m having a lot of fun.”

“Maybe text your father and let him know?” Plagg suggested. “He was feeling pretty anxious about letting you go, and it would probably help him concentrate on his project if he knew you were okay.”

Adrien nodded and obediently fished out his phone.

Text sent, Adrien looked back out at the crowd, searching for a friendly face. “You know,” he realized, “I haven’t really talked to most of the people here in a couple months. Not since…when I was trying not to be in love with Ladybug anymore,” he whispered into his glass. “I’ve been too busy; first, with dating all those different girls. Then, with Elise and Marinette, and, recently…”

“You’ve been avoiding other people,” Plagg finished.

“Yeah. I—Oh, wow,” Adrien gasped, completely forgetting what he had been about to say.

“Wow what?” Plagg peeked his head up to see.

“I think I just fell in love all over again,” Adrien giggled, admiring Marinette as she danced with Alya and some of the other girls from their class.

Marinette’s hair was up in a high bun, and dark blues and soft pinks painted her lips, cheeks, and eyes, making the cerulean of her irises pop. Her navy blue, satin dress fell just above her knee in two tiers. It had a sweetheart neckline that hugged every curve just right, and the delicate lace up her arms and across her chest looked like it had been airbrushed onto her skin. She was light and air and sky and sea and perfection, a water nymph deigning to set foot on land.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Plagg growled. “No. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” Adrien countered dreamily. “Plagg, don’t try to tell me you’ve never felt like this before. It’s like when you haven’t seen Tikki in forever and then, all of the sudden, there she is, and you just feel drawn to her because you belong together. You’re two halves of the same whole, and you can’t help but need to be near her.”

“You’ve gone and made it all soppy and gross,” Plagg snorted. “And you have no business mooning over that girl and waxing poetic. You’re supposed to be getting over her so you can function like a normal human being.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Plagg, destiny chose Marinette and me for one another. I’m _never_ getting over her. I’m just…I’m in the process of learning how to love her healthily.”

“Melting at the sight of her is healthy?” Plagg challenged.

“Oh, hush. I haven’t seen her besides inadequate glimpses at school in weeks, and she looks ethereal. I’ll get better about melting when I can be around her more often,” Adrien reasoned.

Plagg snorted skeptically.

“Maybe I should go talk to her,” Adrien proposed.

“God, help me,” Plagg groaned. “Kid, no. No talking. Tonight’s going so well. Why ruin it?”

“I’ve made so much progress, Plagg. I’ve been spending time with friends, taking Chat Noir on dates, giving Chat compliments, feeling better about myself and the situation in general…plus, my therapist said the other day that I was really improving. I’m…I’m okay now for the most part,” Adrien insisted, trying to prove himself. “Maybe where I am now is good enough to try to rebuild things with Marinette.”

“Kid,” Plagg sighed in warning. “Please don’t do this. I don’t want you hurt again.”

“I’m going to ask her to dance,” Adrien decided, deliberately not hearing Plagg. “I’ll walk up to her next slow song and ask for a dance, and we’ll go outside on the upper deck and dance under the stars as Paris drifts by, and it will be soooo romantic. It’ll be great. I’ll tell her I still love her and still want to be with her and that I’m ready to forgive each other for our mistakes and work together to figure out what we need to do to make a relationship work.”

“Kid,” Plagg pleaded. “Don’t. I mean, how crushed are you going to be if she says no at any point during that scenario? What if she doesn’t want to dance with you? What if _she’s_ not ready to forgive and move forward? What if she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you right now? Kitten, just drop this and go hang out with hat-boy again. You’re having a really good night, and I don’t want Marinette ruining it for you.”

Adrien sighed, not responding as he watched Marinette sadly. His body ached for her, and their month of separation had done nothing to quell the love he’d harbored in his heart for her for four and a half years.

“Why can’t real life be like the fairytales?” He muttered ruefully down into his glass. “Our eyes are supposed to meet from across the room, and we’re supposed to be drawn together like magnets. We’re supposed to waltz across the floor, lost in our own little world with bubbles and pastel colors, and she’s supposed to love me. We’re supposed to get married and live happily ever after. Why the hell can’t that just happen already? I played by the rules. I did the ‘princess in a tower’ schtick for _years_ , and now I want my Prince Charming already. I’m not supposed to have to rescue myself. I’m not supposed to have to learn self-love and fight to make Prince Charming want me. This is stupid. My life is stupid…. Real life is garbage, Plagg,” Adrien hissed, downing the entirety of his champagne.

“Kid,” Plagg cooed sympathetically. “Go back and hang out with hat-boy. Please. He’ll—Oops.” Plagg ducked back into Adrien’s collar just as Alix came into hearing range.

Adrien looked up, eyeing his classmate warily as she approached.

Alix raised a hand in greeting and turned to lean up against the wall next to Adrien. “Sup, Wallflower?”

“Uh…nothing much.” Adrien shrugged, looking back out at Marinette. “You?”

“I got sick of Kim bellyaching about…” Alix paused and glanced sideways at Adrien. “Did you hear that your ex, Marie, has been sleeping around a lot since you two broke up? Some guy got her knocked up, and now Kim’s in a tizzy about it since she still comes crying to him about everything. He fell for her when he was trying to get over Chloé, and I’m not sure Marie’s been any kind of improvement. You heard about any of this?”

“I’m not very well connected as far as the rumor mill goes,” Adrien admitted.

Alix gave a snort of amusement. “Probably better that way because—I mean…have your ears been burning lately? Everyone’s been spreading rumors about you for the past couple months.”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably, neck and ears going red.

“Sorry,” Alix amended, actually sounding contrite. “I didn’t think you’d care. Haven’t people been talking about you since the day you were born? I thought famous people had tougher skin.”

“My love life is kind of a sore subject,” Adrien mumbled, flagging down one of the servers to exchange his empty champagne flute for a glass of red wine.

Alix slowly nodded in understanding as she caught where Adrien’s gaze was focused. “Yeah. I’m really sorry to hear about that. It only started going around about a week ago that Marinette was the one that left you crying on that park bench last month. Until then no one really knew what was going on with you, but now…” Alix trailed off. “I guess that’s a sore subject?”

Adrien took a big gulp of his wine.

“Sorry,” Alix muttered. “Uh…So…Well…Your outfit looks pretty rad. I like the hair. It’s kinda Chat Noir. It’s cool.”

Adrien blinked, shifting his gaze away from Marinette to study Alix’s outfit: a black suit jacket and a lime green tie paired with a pink button down and blue jeans.

“Thanks,” he chuckled. “You’re looking pretty cool yourself.”

Alix beamed. “I don’t wear dresses. I mean, I’m not…I’m not a typical girl, so when the rest of the gang went dress shopping, Marinette helped me pick out something that was more me.”

Adrien smiled sadly. “She’s a good friend like that.”

Alix bit her lip. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out. I’m actually kind of pissed after all those years and all that effort and all of those schemes to get you two together that I got dragged into.”

“We’re not done yet,” Adrien mumbled, looking back to Marinette. She laughed at something Alya had said, and Adrien couldn’t help but smile at the warmth that her laughter sent rushing through him. “We’re just on a break while we work some things out. We’ll be back together in no time.”

“Ha! Someone’s delusional,” Kim barked as he swaggered up to Adrien and Alix.

“Kim, back the hell off,” Alix snapped, moving to put her deceptively tiny frame in between Kim and Adrien.

“What?” Kim snorted. “It’s the truth.” He glowered at Adrien over Alix’s head. “Marinette is so over you. After five years of waiting for you to get wise, she’s finally moving on.”

Adrien kept his eyes trained on Marinette and tried to breathe normally. He took another sip of his wine and muttered into the glass, “You’re wrong. She loves me, and we’re _meant_ to be together; we’re just spending some time apart to work a couple of things out at the moment. I’ll be happy to invite you to the wedding in two or three years.”

Kim burst out laughing. “Wow. You’re worse than I thought. You really believe that, don’t you?”

“Kim,” Alix growled in warning.

“News flash, Agreste,” Kim snickered. “She dumped you. Like, permanently. Welcome to the Reject’s Club.”

“Y-You’re wrong.” Adrien’s grip on his glass stem tightened. His heart was beating in his ears. He could hear the blood rushing, leaving him lightheaded.

“Am I? She spent years turning other guys down because of you, and now she’s rejected you too. Am I the only one who sees the poetic irony here?” Kim drawled.

“You’re drunk, Kim,” Alix spat, putting her hands on his chest and trying to push him back.

Kim didn’t budge. “I mean, look at you. You’re over here making eyes at her, and she hasn’t looked your way once all evening, has she?”

Adrien took another drink to avoid answering. She just didn’t know that he was there at the party in order to look for him. Still, he felt dizzy.

“Has she?” Kim challenged.

“Kim, you’re being a total ass. Stop before you get him akumatized, will ya?” Alix shoved harder. “Just because your slut got herself preggers, that doesn’t give you the right to use Adrien as a punching bag.”

“Why not?” Kim hissed down at Alix. “He deserves it. Someone should show him that he can’t just get away with treating women like toys. He can’t just play with them and then toss them aside once he gets tired of them even if his dad does have enough money and power to bribe and threaten them into silence. Alix, look at all those girls he was sleeping with a couple months ago,” Kim argued. “And he didn’t just hurt them. The whole time Marinette was so depressed. You should know that better than me, Alix. You spend more time with her than I do, but the whole time he knew how Marinette felt about him, and he still ran around with all those women, all the while rubbing it in Marinette’s face and still pretending to be her friend.”

“I didn’t know how Marinette felt about me,” Adrien protested, finally meeting Kim’s eye. “If I had, I never would have—and I didn’t sleep with any of those girls I dated, Kim. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so casual about relationships, but those girls were using me at least as much, if not more than I was using them.”

“Well, what about Marie?!” Kim snarled. “You slept with her! She told me her first time was with you, and then you started mistreating her and ignoring her and pushing her away just as soon as you’d got what you wanted from her, you spoiled rich brat. You can’t just treat people like that!”

Adrien’s face twisted in bewildered amazement. “Kim, I’m sorry to tell you this, but Marie lied to you. I never so much as kissed her.”

“You’re the one who’s lying!” Kim started to lunge but was held back by Alix. “ _Marinette_ knows the truth, at least. Marinette knows what a slug you are, and she’s never going to be with you. She doesn’t want you, Agreste, so leave her the hell alone. You’re only kidding yourself if you think she could love scum like you!”

Adrien’s pulse quickened. He couldn’t breathe.

He could barely feel Plagg’s claws as they gently pressed into Adrien’s shoulder. He felt numb.

Adrien reached up to rub at his neck where the bruises had long ago disappeared.

“Kim, I swear I’m going to kick you in the nuts if you don’t stop,” Alix barked.

Kim was too drunk to listen to reason. “No one’s ever going to love you because I’m gonna make sure everyone knows what a liar and a coward and a sleazewad you are! What are you even doing here?”

The room was spinning.

“No one wants you here,” Kim continued, lashing out at Adrien in his own heartache. “No one likes you. Not even Lahiffe. People only talk to you for your money. No one actually likes you. No one—”

“—Excuse me.” Alix grabbed Adrien’s glass and splashed what little was left of the wine in Kim’s face. “Go outside and sober up, Kim. You’re an ugly drunk, and no one likes  _you_  this way.”

Adrien bolted, darting through the crowd of dancers, rushing for the doorway out to the uncovered part of the deck at the stern.

“Adrien!” Alix called after him, but he didn’t dare stop.

Adrien couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stand to be around so many people. He was going to pass out. He needed air.

He knew all of the awful things Kim had said weren’t true. He knew Kim’s words were born out of spite and hurt, but objectively knowing that didn’t stop those words from cutting Adrien deep.

And so he ran, glancing back over his shoulder periodically to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He ran right into someone.

The impact jarred Adrien, sending him stumbling until two strong yet oddly gentle hands steadied him, half holding him up as Adrien’s legs gave out.

“Whoa, there. You okay?”

In a panic, Adrien tried to pull away, but the hands held him fast.

It was probably for the best, as Adrien’s balance was shot, the room was spinning, and his vision and hearing were going in and out.

“Hey. It’s okay. Calm down. Deep breaths, okay?”

Adrien looked up and saw blue: cyan eyes and teal hair. He took a gulp of air that came out sounding like, “Luka”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun-dun-duuuuuun. But, seriously, you all knew that Luka was going to be at this party, didn't you? I mean...the foreshadowing. That being said, breathe. Next chapter isn't the slaughter that you're thinking it's going to be. Next chapter is a fun chapter for the most part.
> 
> Ahem. But. Yeah. Kim. He gets better once he realizes he's been duped. Alix was fun to write, though. I've liked her a lot since Season One, and she's only gotten more interesting since then.
> 
> Chloé was also fun. I hope I get to write more of her later. I have some ideas, but my outline gets fuzzy after the Graduation Party Arc, so we'll see what actually happens.
> 
> There's actually a bit of an Easter egg in this chapter if you've ever read my Detective Conan/Magic Kaito fanfiction. One of the character's mothers is mentioned in passing but not shown or named in the series, and since I used that character a lot, I had to fill out his backstory, so I made his mother an English fashion designer named Helen Griffin. The character's name is Hakuba Saguru (in the Japanese order because he's half Japanese), and his friend is Kuroba Kaito (a phantom thief and canonical cross-dresser).
> 
> But yeah. Thoughts? Feelings? Favourite lines? Misgivings about the future?
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll see you guys on Wednesday, 07/10/2019 for the Luka chapter.
> 
> References:  
> Chloé sounds like The Magic Flute Queen of the Night Aria: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuBeBjqKSGQ  
> Marinette's dress (the body of it at least): https://www.siaoryne.com/products/lovely-red-8th-grade-prom-dress-short-graduation-homecoming-gown-sp6652


	26. Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien runs into Luka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Happy Wednesday. I've somehow managed to get sick. -.-; I'm going to miss fencing today, so I'm super bummed. Thank you, as always, for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks!

Luka smiled faintly down at Adrien. “Come on. Let’s get you some air.”

Adrien found himself being half-carried towards the exit as the alcohol he had consumed too quickly hit him all at once. His feet weren’t doing what he wanted them to do, and his mind felt pleasantly fuzzy like the world was covered in pillows. (That thought alone was enough to tell him he’d had too much too fast.)

Thankfully, the uncovered area at the stern of the boat was deserted with no one to witness Adrien’s muddled state.

“Here.” Luka sat him down on one of the folding chairs and knelt in front of him to loosen Adrien’s tie and undo the top few buttons of Adrien’s shirt.

Adrien’s eyes slipped closed as he enjoyed the brief sensation of being touched. Luka’s long musician’s fingers brushed Adrien’s throat like butterfly kisses, and it was nice to be fussed over.

“Just breathe,” Luka coached, settling down on the chair next to Adrien’s. He placed one hand on Adrien’s shoulder to steady him and began rubbing soothing circles on Adrien’s back with the other.

Adrien nodded, concentrating on filling his lungs with air.

They sat like that in silence for what could have been one minute or five or fifteen.

When he could finally breathe normally again, Adrien opened his eyes and looked sheepishly at Luka. “Thank you. And sorry. I was just—I didn’t…I mean…”

“It’s okay,” Luka assured, gradually retracting his hands. “Panic attack?”

Adrien gulped and nodded. “How did you know?”

Luka shrugged, smiling sorrowfully. “Jules has been having them since we were little…since our dad walked out on us. Unfortunately, I’m an old hand at helping people through panic attacks.”

“Sorry,” Adrien whispered.

Luka shook his head. “You’re fine. I mean…you know what it’s like.”

Adrien gulped and nodded yet again.

“You going to be okay if I’m gone for a sec to get you a glass of water?”

“Oh, you don’t have to…uh…” Adrien trailed off, mind going blank, as Luka cupped Adrien’s cheek in his hand, studying Adrien’s unfocused gaze and splotchy coloring.

Luka pressed the back of his hand to Adrien’s forehead. “You’re still overheated…. Have you been drinking?”

Adrien looked away. “Maybe a little bit? I sort of…had a little too much a bit too quickly on an empty stomach.”

“Will you be okay on your own for five minutes?” Luka inquired again without passing judgment. “I want to go get you some water and a snack.”

“Okay,” Adrien begrudgingly agreed, cheeks coloring. “Sorry. Thanks.”

“No worries,” Luka chuckled softly. “You trigger my protective big brother instincts. Be back in a minute, okay?”

Adrien nodded in a daze, watching Luka go.

“I don’t like this,” Plagg sighed, coming out to lick at Adrien’s face like a mother cat.

Adrien closed his eyes and leaned back, resting his head against the wall behind him. “Which part? The one where I’m just barely on the right side of ‘drunk’ or the one where Prince Charming finally showed up to rescue me?”

“ _All_ of this,” Plagg scoffed. “The part where you’re vulnerable and emotional and being taken care of by that guy who hat-boy told you to steer clear of at all costs.”

“I don’t know what Nino was on about,” Adrien sighed. “Unless he was worried about Luka sweeping me off my feet in my current susceptible state. I mean, Luka is obviously wonderful. I don’t see why I should stay away from him.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Plagg hummed. “…You doing okay?”

“Not really,” Adrien chuckled. “I guess I deserved all that for being an idiot all these years with Marinette and then going off the wall and dating all of those girls?”

“Nah,” Plagg snorted. “What does that jock-guy know? Nothing. He knows nothing about you, so he should just back off.”

“I’m probably not going to see him again after tonight anyway, so it most likely won’t matter,” Adrien muttered.

“If you carry what he said around with you, that’s going to matter in your everyday life. Let it go, Kid. You’ll be better for it.”

Adrien hummed softly, enjoying the heady feeling that his mind was full of cotton.

 

Luka returned, as promised, just minutes later with a glass of ice water and a small plate of finger foods. “Here.” He pressed the glass to Adrien’s cheek. “This should cool you down. Take slow sips, all right?”

“Thank you so much, Luka,” Adrien sighed, accepting the glass and dutifully taking a cautious drink. “I’m sorry again. I’m betting this wasn’t what you had in mind for the evening.”

“No,” Luka chuckled, retaking his seat beside Adrien. “The original plan included coming up with plausible excuses to wander off and not be too intrusive while my date spent the evening celebrating with her friends. Honestly, spending the evening with Adrien Agreste on a romantic, starlight boat ride is an improvement. I mean, how many guys can say they’ve done that?”

Adrien laughed sheepishly. “Including you and me? Two. …Well, I’m glad to hear I’m not a huge damper on your night.”

“Nah,” Luka assured, holding up the plate of hors d’oeuvres for Adrien to select something. “Will you eat any of this? I wasn’t sure what you like other than Marinette mentioning you weren’t a big fan of animals.”

“Oh, I’ll eat anything. What I like isn’t really relevant, but thank you for being so considerate.” Adrien smiled judiciously, picking up a fig and goat cheese puff pastry. “…You and Marinette talk about me?”

Luka shrugged. “I’ve been taking her to lunch lately on weekends to make sure she remembers to eat, and I seem to be picking a bunch of places you two have been before. Apparently, you guys have elaborate eating rituals where you get half her salad and she gets half your fries and she picks certain vegetables out of her dish and gives them to you while you give her your cucumbers and pickles and-and what have you. It takes her a while to decide what she’s going to get at a restaurant because you’re not there to eat your part and order the corresponding dish. It’s kind of adorable.”

“Are we that bad?” Adrien smiled sadly through a blush.

“Yes,” Luka snickered. “It’s like I’ve only got one half of a set. I’m going to have to take you with us next time.”

Adrien gazed nervously down at his bite-sized pastry. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time together…but…I mean…if Marinette would be okay with me tagging along, I’d like to hang out with you two. I was just talking to Marinette last week about how it’s been forever since I’ve seen you and how the three of us needed to spend some time together.”

Luka nodded. “I wouldn’t be opposed to you coming with us sometimes. I like you, Adrien. I’d like to be friends, and I know what a big part of Marinette’s life you are, so I’ve kind of accepted that as long as she’s in my life, you’re going to be a part of that too.”

“T-Thanks.” Adrien took a big gulp of water and almost choked.

Luka thumped him on the back. “Easy. Small, slow sips, remember?”

Adrien nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Luka inquired after a minute. “Your face is still red, but your coloring is more consistent now.”

“Tired,” Adrien confessed, taking a slice of bruschetta from the plate. “Panic attacks just kind of wear me out. Still tipsy, but my head isn’t spinning like it was. I don’t know how much of this is the alcohol and how much is anxiety. I mean, I just had, like, two glasses, but I don’t really drink, so my alcohol tolerance is pretty much nonexistent.”

“You’re pretty cohesive,” Luka offered. “You’re slurring a bit and speaking a little slower than normal, but you don’t really seem drunk besides the lack of focus in your eyes and diminished motor control.”

“I think the fresh air is helping. And the water and the food.” Adrien turned to look up at Luka with deep gratitude in his eyes. “Thank you so much for this. I’m really sorry I’m a mess, but I seriously appreciate you taking care of me. You didn’t have to do this.”

Luka smiled warmly, shrugging a shoulder. “We all need a little help every once in a while. And, like I said, you trigger my protective big brother instincts. …Did you want to talk about why you’re a mess? Would that help at all? I mean, I saw you earlier, and you seemed like you were fine hanging with Nino, dancing with Chloé. Did something happen?”

Adrien shook his head. “Girl problems, mostly. One of my classmates has it bad for an ex-girlfriend of mine, and he’s choosing to take out his frustrations with her on me. Maybe I deserve a little of his anger because I’ve certainly made mistakes, but there was no need for him to get so aggressive and pick mercilessly at the scabs of all of my insecurities.”

Luka rested a hand on Adrien’s back, rubbing soothingly.

Adrien melted at the touch. “I need to find some way to bottle you so I can have you with me whenever I’m feeling like rubbish.”

“You still have my phone number?”

Adrien’s eyelids fluttered open. “Yeah?”

“Call me sometime,” Luka instructed. “I’m serious. Let’s be friends.”

“…Why would you want to be friends with me?” The words easily slipped past Adrien’s liquor-loosened lips.

Luka cocked an eyebrow. “You’re interesting. You’re funny. You’re a talented musician. I like you. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend?”

Adrien smiled ironically. “I may not be an emotional blackhole anymore, but I’m kind of still an emotional whirlpool right now. People don’t usually volunteer to get close to that.”

Luka shrugged. “I’m sure you’re better when you haven’t been drinking and haven’t just had a panic attack. I saw you earlier this evening, and you looked like someone I’d want to know. Besides, I liked spending time with you before when I was teaching you guitar, and I want to get to know the person Marinette is always talking about.”

Adrien could feel his cheeks burning in pleasure at the flattery. “Okay,” he conceded. “Sure. Let’s be friends.”

They fell into a reflective silence as the boat sailed by the Ile de la Cité.

“So,” Luka sighed. “What have you been up to lately? It’s been about a year or so since we last really talked, hasn’t it?”

Adrien nodded. “Yeah. Almost two years. I guess a lot has happened since then, but nothing’s really coming to mind. I mean, except for the past month or so, I’ve been doing pretty much the same things I was doing when you were giving me guitar lessons: modeling, fencing, piano, Chinese, basketball, hanging with friends when I can squeeze it in…”

“What’s changed in the past month or so?” Luka inquired conversationally.

Adrien grimaced, meeting Luka’s gaze. “So…I’ve kind of been trying to recover from an emotional meltdown.”

Luka winced.

“Are you familiar with opera?” Adrien asked.

“I’m a lover of all types of music,” Luka assured. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I was going to say that my meltdown was just short of the level of Electra in her exit aria in Mozart’s Idomeneo, if you’re familiar with the work.”

 Luka winced again. “Wow. Complete with your mother and her lover killing your father and your brother killing _them_ and getting driven mad by the furies for matricide all while the guy you were in love with announces his marriage to someone else?”

Adrien laughed softly. “Perhaps I was being a little overdramatic comparing my own mental breakdown to hers.”

Luka shrugged, with a comforting smile. “Opera is full of extremes. That allows it to explore the whole range of human emotion. It doesn’t have to be realistic as a whole so long as the emotions ring true. The point is that you identified with Electra’s desperation and pain and anguish. You saw some of what you were feeling in her…at least, that’s what I’m guessing. I don’t mean to tell you what you felt.”

“No,” Adrien was quick to assure. “No,” he breathed. “That’s it exactly. That’s…really deep.”

“Is it?” Luka chuckled softly.

“Yeah,” Adrien stressed.

Luka smiled. “Don’t look too impressed. I probably paraphrased that from some article I had to read for class or one of my professors.”

“You study music?” Adrien leaned in slightly.

Luka nodded. “And literature with an emphasis on nineteenth century Russia.”

“Do you think you’ll be a professional musician? I know Marinette was talking about Kitty Section gaining traction, but I didn’t think Juleka, Rose, or Ivan wanted to go into music as a career, so…”

Luka shrugged, looking out at the Right Bank. “There are a couple other groups that I play with. I do some paid gigs from time to time. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make a living off of it, but I’d like to. I want music to always be a part of my life, even if that’s teaching or giving lessons while I do something else more stable. I’m kind of at a point where I need to think realistically about the future and being able to provide for a family in a couple years. We can’t all be Jagged Stone.”

“But maybe just being Luka Couffaine will be enough,” Adrien offered innocently.

Luka turned to meet Adrien’s gaze and smiled. “I like your bright-eyed optimism. Don’t let the world crush that out of you, okay?”

“I’m serious,” Adrien insisted. “I’ve heard you play; you’re magnificent.”

“One guitarist doesn’t make a popular band,” Luka chuckled, pleased at Adrien’s sincerity.

“But your music is beautiful,” Adrien argued as if by virtue of this alone the world should surrender a place in the annals of history to Luka.

“You’re cute,” Luka laughed, shaking his head.

Adrien stopped breathing.

Did Luka mean that Adrien was cute in a dismissive sort of way? Like “that’s cute”, “that’s funny”, “that’s hilarious that you would say that”, or “you must be joking”? Or did Luka mean that Adrien was… _cute_?

 Was Luka flirting with him? Did Adrien _want_ Luka to be flirting with him? Sure, Adrien thought Luka was attractive…as attractive as Adrien _could_ find another guy, but…between Luka and Adrien it could only be flirting. It would only be making out. Adrien wasn’t interested in a relationship with a guy, but…flirting felt good. Flirting made him feel desirable…desired. With Marinette, there had been so much rejection, so many nos. It was nice to get a “yes, you’re wanted”. It was nice to be sitting there with Luka, Luka’s eyes on him alone, Luka fussing over him, Luka taking care of him, Luka being nice, Luka touching his arm and back, and…

It was everything that Adrien needed in that moment, especially with Kim’s insidious words still ringing in Adrien’s ears.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the starlight or Paris all lit up or Adrien’s insecurity or his deep well of affection deficit. Maybe it was the kindness and fondness in Luka’s eyes, but Adrien decided that if he ended the evening making out with Luka, that was okay. If he didn’t, that was also okay, but he decided to allow himself the option. It was time to stop blaming himself and berating himself and holding himself up to unreasonable standards. It was time to just let himself feel good within safe parameters. He wasn’t going to let himself feel bad about anything that happened between him and Luka that night.

Luka was still talking. “…wish I had my guitar with me. I’d play you my new song.”

“Maybe I can come over sometime and you can play for me then,” Adrien suggested, popping a pitted olive into his mouth. “I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to musically since the last time I heard you play.”

“Well, I’ve been super inspired the past two weeks, so there’s plenty of new material to sort through.” Luka shrugged. “I don’t know if any of it’s good or not, but the inspiration is solid. Maybe you can help me separate the chaff from the wheat because my eyes are a little clouded recently, so I’m probably biased.”

“Maybe you could help me brush up on my rusty guitar skills while we’re at it?” Adrien proposed.

“I bet you’ll pick it back up in no time,” Luka snorted. “I’ve never seen someone learn an instrument so quickly before.”

Adrien laughed sheepishly, pressing his water glass to his neck. “I mean, the concept is similar to the violin, and I spent the first eight years of my life in close proximity, so…”

“You played violin?” Luka quirked an eyebrow.

Adrien shook his head. “…My…My older brother Félix. He used to take part in competitions. I used to watch him practice for hours.”

Luka’s eyes widened. “I always thought you were an only child. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine…” Luka shuddered, thinking of Juleka.

In his slightly addled state, it took Adrien a minute to catch on. “Oh! Oh, no. He’s not…he’s not dead; he’s just…estranged. He and my parents had a big falling out, so…I haven’t seen him in a decade, and I wasn’t allowed to talk about him until recently.” Adrien looked away. “That sounds bad. I guess it is bad. Um…but…my dad reached out to my brother’s family a few weeks ago, and it’s looking like maybe they’ll be reconciled eventually, so…”

Luka gently nudged Adrien’s shoulder with his own.

Adrien blinked, looking up into Luka’s kind blue eyes.

“It’s okay.” Luka gave a muted grin. “ _Everyone’s_ family is a little screwed up in one way or another. I mean, _mine_ of course, but even Marinette’s family, and they seem perfect at first glance. As you know, her grandpa didn’t speak to her dad for twenty years because of the interracial marriage thing, so… Don’t worry, Adrien. I’ll only ever judge you based on _you_ , not your family.”

Adrien searched Luka’s eyes and found only honesty. “Thanks,” he whispered, turning away to smile into his water glass.

“Sure…. You know, I’ve been learning to play that old keyboard these past few years,” Luka delicately switched topics. “I know I’m nowhere near as good as you are, but maybe, sometime, do you think you’d deign to play a duet with me? I’ve been watching these guys on YouTube who do four-handed renditions of songs from video games, and I thought that might be something you’d be interested in, since I remember Marinette mentioning that you two were both big gamers.”

“Yeah, that would be totally awesome!” Adrien agreed enthusiastically, taking a carrot and ricotta tartelette from the snack plate while simultaneously palming a cube of cheese. He ate the tartelette himself and surreptitiously slipped the cheese to Plagg. “What kind of music are you working on for the piano? Is there anything in particular you like to play or a piece that you’re learning?”

“I like jazz a lot. Right now I’m working on a couple of things, but the one I like most is Ravel’s Pavane pour une Infante Defunte. I’m a big fan of Ravel.”

Adrien scrunched up his nose and laughed. “You’d get along well with my father. Dad adores Ravel.”

“And you?” Luka prompted.

Adrien shrugged. “Depends. A lot of his music is lovely and technically beautiful, but I don’t personally get caught up in it like I do Rachmaninov or Mahler or Shostakovich.”

Luka shook his head. “Ravel’s Miroirs No. 3, ‘Une Barque sur l'Ocean’ just floors me. Like, my insides melt and I go into a trance it’s so gorgeous. I feel it here.” He placed a hand over his heart. “Is there a piece that does that to you?”

Adrien pursed his lips and thought for a moment. “…Vivaldi’s Winter from The Four Seasons. The first allegro non molto part in particular is just jaw-dropping for me. I used to love when my brother would play it.”

Luka nodded his approval. “I once saw Avi Avital do the solo part on the mandolin, and it was phenomenal. Vivaldi’s music itself is arresting, but that performance in particular…it passed by in the blink of an eye I was so enraptured.”

“Isn’t it amazing how music can do that to you?” Adrien sighed dreamily.

“Is it any wonder I want music in my life always?” Luka chuckled.

“…You know, I misjudged you,” Adrien admitted bashfully. “You’re a lot more complex than I originally gave you credit for. I thought you were only into contemporary music like Jagged Stone. I didn’t realize you liked opera and classical music too.”

“And rap and folk music and big band and ska…Gregorian chant, enka, salsa… Honestly, I enjoy some more than others, but I think there’s value in all music because music is the highest form of expression of the human experience. Music does something that words alone can’t.”

“Is that something you’re probably paraphrasing from one of your professors, or can I gush about how deep you are now?” Adrien hummed.

Luka laughed heartily, giving Adrien’s shoulder a playful nudge. “I honestly think I sound pretty pretentious. I’m glad you’re impressed, though.”

“You’re very impressive,” Adrien mumbled shyly.

“Thanks.” Luka grinned as he studied Adrien’s face.

Their eyes locked, and Adrien gradually leaned in.

“Are you feeling okay?” Luka inquired, noting the dilation of Adrien’s pupils and the distracted look in the younger boy’s eyes.

Adrien jerked back slightly. “Fine. Yes. Good. I mean…I can still feel the alcohol, but it’s more of a buzz or a hum now whereas before it was overwhelming, so…better. Thank you.”

“Good. You’re looking and sounding better.” Luka smiled, eyes crinkling.

“What color is your hair originally?” Adrien blurted out.

Luka blinked in confusion but answered anyway. “It’s black. Why?”

Adrien grimaced. “It…figures.”

Blue eyes and black hair yet again.

“I don’t know why exactly. I was just curious since you’ve had your hair dyed since we met. I figured it might be black because it looks like you have black lowlights, and Juleka’s hair is black, so…do you maybe want to dance with me?” The words slipped out before Adrien could put them in check.

Luka’s eyebrow slowly arched. “Dance?”

Adrien’s cheeks were already burning, so he decided to go all in. What was the worst thing that could happen? “Yeah. Dance. Together.”

“You…dance with other guys?” Luka inquired hesitantly, making sure he understood what Adrien was proposing.

Adrien shrugged. “I mean…sure. Why not? Girls dance together all the time. Why can’t guys?”

Luka’s brow furrowed. “I feel like two guys dancing together is different than two girls.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be,” Adrien countered, beginning to pout slightly. “It’s really stupid that girls can do things that guys aren’t allowed to without being judged. That’s part of the reason why I’m a feminist.”

“Oh?” Luka smiled curiously.

“Yeah,” Adrien insisted. “True feminism is about equality. It means girls can open doors for me or give me flowers without that being weird. It means I can be a stay at home dad or talk about my feelings or cry in public without being called a wimp. It means I can dance with another guy without it necessarily having to mean we’re gay.”

“Down with the patriarchy. I’m all for that.” Luka winked teasingly. “So…what I’m hearing is that you want to dance with me to make a feminist statement.”

Adrien’s cheeks burned pink as he smiled up sheepishly at Luka. “Honestly? You’re really wonderful, and I think you’re cute, and I want to dance, so…” He bit his lip nervously.

Luka’s eyes widened. “Like…dance as in ballroom like you were doing with Chloé earlier?”

Adrien gulped. “More like…contemporary dance. Like how Juleka and Rose dance together.”

Luka’s mouth slowly dropped open of its own volition. “I…thought you were straight.”

Adrien looked away, his entire face to the tips of his ears going red. “I mean, I am. For the most part. I think. I think I am. I’m not…” He looked up searchingly at Luka. “It’s not like I would sleep with you, but…if you kissed me, I would kiss you back, so…I don’t know what that means.”

Luka nodded, giving Adrien an appraising look and thinking, _“That…lends new meaning to his blush and the dazed expression. If only he’d said something before two weeks ago.”_

“Sorry,” Adrien backpedaled. “I didn’t mean to make things weird. Earlier when you said I was cute, I must have misunderstood because I thought—”

Luka rested a hand on Adrien’s knee. “—You didn’t misunderstand anything,” he assured. “I would very much be interested in dancing with you if you’re feeling well enough, but…does your father allow you to dance with other guys?”

Adrien grimaced. “Technically? I think my dad is homophobic, but, _technically_ , he didn’t say anything about it being against the rules to dance with men. It’s only against the rules to make out with anyone, so I think I can dance with you so long as I don’t make out with you…and even then, I think it’s only against the rules to make out with you if someone gets it on camera,” Adrien added with a tentative wink.

“I’ll take that under advisory,” Luka chuckled.

This was weird. This was entirely foreign to Adrien. He’d spent years flirting shamelessly with Ladybug and getting nothing back. Flirting with Luka was sort of empowering. The encouragement of Luka’s smile felt good. It felt really, really good to flirt and not be brushed off.

“There’s just one thing.” Luka fixed Adrien with a solemn expression, taking his hand from Adrien’s knee. “Right now, we’re flirting, and I’m fine with that. You can flirt with someone just for fun and not really mean anything by it or expect anything to come from it. If we’re just flirting for fun, that’s fine. I can do that. This is only a problem if you’re at all serious. As you know, I have a girlfriend, and I’m crazy about her, so nothing more than friendly flirting is going to happen between you and me. If any of this meant anything to you, I don’t want to lead you on. Okay?”

The concerned look in Luka’s eyes, so full of care, was oddly touching.

Adrien smiled awkwardly, blushing as he laughed off Luka’s reservations. “No worries necessary. I mean, not that you’re not attractive, but…I’m not interested in a relationship. I’m just…” He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he attempted to find the right words. “I kind of got my heart crushed, and the rejection still sort of stings. Flirting and having someone else flirt back makes me feel better, so…platonic flirting is all I really want right now anyway.”

“All right,” Luka agreed with a nod. “Sounds good to me. Give me your glass of water and see if you can stand up.”

Adrien did as requested and carefully got to his feet. He stood still for a minute, making sure of his balance before giving Luka a thumbs up.

Luka smiled, resting his hand at the small of Adrien’s back just in case Adrien lost his footing as he guided Adrien back to the main room.

“Fair warning,” Adrien remarked as they made their way to the dancefloor. “I’ve been told that I’m a bit of a slutty dancer. I believe Nino’s exact words were that I turn dancing into a full-contact sport, so if I do something that makes you uncomfortable or if there’s someplace you don’t want my hands, please, please just tell me.”

“Likewise,” Luka insisted, his own hand moving to Adrien’s hip.

Nearly half an hour flew by on the dancefloor. Mentally, Adrien checked out, losing himself in the throbbing of the music, the warmth and press of the other dancers, the smell of sweat mixed with dozens of perfumes and aftershaves, the contact between his own body and Luka’s. He didn’t have to think about Marinette or his family situation or learning to love and care for himself or university coming up in a few short months…so he didn’t. He melted into cyan eyes, strong hands, and his own heartbeat, only mentally coming up for air when a slow song interrupted the thrumming beat in his veins.

Luka and Adrien blinked at one another, each unsure of what to do.

Luka smiled sheepishly. “May I have this dance? I mean…while we’re making a feminist statement about two guys dancing together and everything.”

Adrien laughed heartily as he wrapped his arms around Luka’s waist. “Down with the patriarchy.”

“I’d hoped you’d say that,” Luka chuckled, slipping his arms around Adrien’s neck.

“As much as I’m enjoying your undivided attention, shouldn’t you check in with your date?” Adrien wondered. “I’ve been hogging you for nearly an hour now.”

Luka glanced over to where Marinette, Alya, Rose, Juleka, Alix, and Aurore were all dancing together, giggling and falling over one another. “Nah. She’s doing fine without me,” he assured with a doting smile.

“I didn’t even ask who you came with, since you’re not in our class,” Adrien realized. “Juleka?”

Luka shook his head, lacing his fingers at the back of Adrien’s neck. “Girlfriend. Honestly, I probably shouldn’t have come. I mean, tonight is supposed to be about what she and her friends have all accomplished. It’s not supposed to be about us as a couple, but I guess Marinette felt like since she could invite a date, it might be weird or hurt my feelings if she didn’t invite me? I told her I was more than perfectly happy to hang on the sidelines while she had fun with her friends, so…”

Luka looked back at Adrien and frowned at the pallor of the younger boy’s face. “You okay?”

Adrien’s feet stopped moving as he stared blankly into concerned blue eyes. “You…Marinette…is your…girlfriend.” The words fell from his lips like tiles from a crumbling building.

Luka’s frown deepened in confusion. “She didn’t tell you?”

Adrien laughed, smiling sheepishly as the walls slammed down. “Sorry. Yes. Of course. Of course she told me. I mean, I’m one of her best friends; she tells me everything. Why wouldn’t she tell me? She told me immediately. Okay, maybe she called Alya first and they screamed in excitement about it for a while, but I was second on the list as far as people she told. Sorry. I just…you know. Mental breakdown recovery lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and that just…slipped. Because we don’t exactly talk about you much. I mean, we _do_ talk about you. She told me about your date the other night and-and dancing and going for crepes with you and the Jagged Stone concert and everything, but…you know. Mostly we talk about other things.”

Luka nodded slowly, unable to shake the feeling that something was definitely off. “Right.” He decided that the easiest thing to do was just go with it and ask Marinette later. “Sure.”

“Like…we talk about her internship with my dad and my parents’ wedding coming up in a few months and what I do with my free time now that my schedule isn’t so strict,” Adrien continued, suddenly feeling like he had something to prove, like he needed to demonstrate that he was still a relevant part of Marinette’s life even if she wasn’t talking to him anymore…even if she was cheating on him with other guys.

“We talk about everything,” Adrien insisted. “Sometimes we stay up texting until early in the morning just talking about nothing. She bounces ideas off of me, and I’m always the first one to see her new designs.”

It would be like that again in no time. Marinette was bound to miss him eventually and realize what a stupid mistake she was making dating other people. Destiny had literally—literally—chosen them for one another. Everything would be fine if Adrien could just avoid having a total meltdown on the dancefloor.

Adrien pulled Luka in closer, resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder because Adrien really, really needed someone to ground him and physically hold him together in that moment and he was forced to work with what he had at hand.

“You doing okay?” Luka inquired, resting his head against Adrien’s.

“Yeah. Yeah, totally fine,” Adrien lied. “Just a little tired. Just… Actually, no.”

Luka lifted his head and tried to angle his neck to catch a glimpse of Adrien’s expression. “What’s wrong? What do you need?”

Everything.

Marinette to love me.

“Sorry. Anxiety,” Adrien explained haltingly. “All of the sudden something just reminded me of…”

“Shh. It’s okay,” Luka whispered soothingly into Adrien’s ear. “Just breathe. Do we need to go back outside to get some air?”

Adrien shook his head. “No. Sorry. I just…stay like this, please?”

“Sure.” Luka began to rub at Adrien’s neck gently. “Um…sometimes with Juleka it helps if I distract her by talking about something else. Do you want to talk or…?”

“I don’t know,” Adrien answered, preoccupied by his thoughts. He wanted to get away. He wanted to transform and run home and make a pillow fort and hide under the covers until the world decided that it was done kicking him while he was down.

“Okay…. Well, let’s try it, and you just tell me if it’s helping or not. Um… Oh. Hey, speaking of Marinette’s new designs, what do you think of the latest ones?”

Adrien’s mind locked up as he tried to come up with something he could say to make it sound like he’d actually seen the designs that Luka was talking about. “Oh… Er…I’m not sure. I mean, I always love everything that Marinette does. I don’t know that these are her most creative designs ever, but I do like them. She’s taken the necklines in an interesting direction.”

“Necklines?” Luka hummed thoughtfully.

“Hemlines,” Adrien corrected, hoping that there was something unique about the way that Marinette had done them. “I meant hemlines.”

“Oooh. Yeah. I see what you mean. With the way they’re gathered and kind of…not toga-y, but sort of…like ancient Greece.”

“Precisely!” Adrien lied. “Marinette and I were just talking a couple weeks ago about how Neoclassicism is making a comeback in fashion.”

Luka was quiet for a moment. “…I’m just now realizing that I don’t know too much about fashion.”

“Honestly, I don’t either,” Adrien sighed. “Let’s talk about something else?”

“Sure,” Luka easily agreed. “Will I see you tomorrow at the party?”

“P-Party?” Adrien looked up to meet Luka’s gaze.

“Marinette’s party?” Luka clarified.

Adrien’s heart sank. “Oh. Yeah. I’d forgotten.” He smiled winningly. “Unfortunately, I have a thing tomorrow, so I can’t make it. I mean, it’s an all-day thing, so I can’t even get away for a little while. I had to choose between coming tonight and coming tomorrow, and I couldn’t risk making Chloé mad by picking Marinette’s party over hers, so…Marinette understands.”

Luka nodded. “That’s a shame that you’ll miss it.”

“Yeah,” Adrien muttered. “I really would have liked to come.”

“I’ll have to throw a party sometime and invite you,” Luka suggested as the slow song came to an end. “We’ll have to work together to find a date you can make.”

“That would be…great, actually. Thank you, Luka.” Adrien was oddly touched by the offer. He wondered if Luka would be so nice if he knew the true nature of the relationship between Adrien and Marinette.

“Sure.” Luka tentatively pulled away as the pumping dance beat resumed. “You feeling better?”

Adrien nodded, giving Luka his most convincing smile. If he could only hold on for a few more minutes…. “Yeah. Thanks. All better now. I don’t know what that was, really.”

Luka shrugged, returning the smile.

“I think I’m going to head to the upper observation deck, though, and get some fresh air.” Adrien tried to make a graceful escape.

“I’ll come with you,” Luka offered.

“Nah, I’ll be fine on my own,” Adrien deflected. “I’ve had a great time with you, Luka, but I think I really have kept you to myself for too long. You should go check in with Marinette.”

“You’re positive?” Luka studied Adrien skeptically.

“Definitely, but, again, _thank you_. This was fun.” Adrien leaned in to give Luka an air kiss but got more cheek than he had intended. “I’ll call you sometime, yeah?” Adrien called over his shoulder with a wave as he fled in a calm, collected fashion.

Adrien forced himself not to run until he made it to the stairwell to the upper deck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being drunk is one thing I've never researched, so please excuse the poor portrayal of drunkenness. I based if off of when my blood sugar is low (I have Juvenile Diabetes, for those of you who didn't already know). When my blood sugar goes low, I'm fine, I'm fine, and then suddenly I am definitely not fine and I need to sit down before I end up on the floor and everything is really funny except I have a hard time processing what people are saying to me, and then I start speaking in other languages and get really upset when people don't understand what I'm saying because I think I'm speaking English, but I'm not. And then, all of the sudden, my brain comes back online, and I'm fine again. For those of you who know, is that anything like being drunk?
> 
> How did you like my portrayal of Luka? I had fun with him. I went back and rewatched the episodes with him in them to try to solidify my idea of him. There wasn't a whole lot to work with, but I think I had enough to make a character. I hope you liked him. It was interesting to work with someone new. (For those of you wondering, no, Luka and Adrien are not going to be a couple.)
> 
> I've noticed that the Graduation Party Arc is also the opera references arc. Last time we had The Magic Flute, this time it's Idomeneo, and next time will be Carmen. Maybe you could tell from this chapter, but Mikau likes opera and classical music. ^.^;
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you on Friday 07/12/2019.
> 
> References:  
> -The professor Luka is inspired by is Dr. Robert Greenberg. He is fantastic, and I highly recommend his lectures.  
> -Electra's exit aria in Mozart’s Idomeneo (This is when Electra finally goes mad after losing the guy she loved to another woman. These two performances are my favourites. I love the maniacal sung laughter at 5:19 and 5:59 respectively): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dvPlf8O_xs or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5-_e3xG6c4  
> -Frank & Zach Piano Duets (Death by Glamour): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzWe9PoeD44  
> -Ravel Pavane pour une Infante Defunte: (piano version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPHSHZssOLs (orchestra version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKkeDqJBlK8  
> -Ravel Miroirs No. 3, Une Barque sur l'Ocean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTYUyDjVCRU  
> -Vivaldi Four Seasons Winter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGdFHJXciAQ  
> -Avi Avital (I believe he did the song he plays at 7:44 as an encore when I saw him last): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S19Q4e4Q4Kk


	27. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien has had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry this is a little later than normal. I wanted to go over it one more time before posting. I only made six little cosmetic edits, but...
> 
> Anyway. I will have the next chapter for you on Monday 07/15/2019. Until then, have a wonderful Bastille Day for all those celebrating.
> 
> Also, thanks in advance for all of your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Thankfully, the upper observation deck was empty.

Seeing that the coast was clear, Plagg came out of hiding and flitted nervously about Adrien’s head. “Kid? …Kitten?”

Adrien made his way past row after row of plastic seats to the railing at the stern of the ship.

“Adrien?” Plagg called. “Talk to me…. Please.”

Adrien paced for a minute before going to crumple up behind the last row of seats so as to be hidden from anyone else who happened to come up to the top deck. He rested his forehead on his knees and pulled them into his chest.

“Do you want me to call Gabe? Or Nathalie?” Plagg tried. “I could go get Nino.”

Adrien shook his head.

“Kid, we’ve got to do something,” Plagg reasoned. “You can’t just…”

Adrien shook his head again, more insistently this time.

“…Kitten,” Plagg cooed wearily.

“This is a nightmare,” Adrien mumbled. “I can’t even hate the guy she’s cheating on me with because he’s so freaking wonderful.”

“Adrien.” Plagg nuzzled Adrien’s ear. “Listen. Just…forget about her already, okay? She’s no good for you. We’ll find you someone better. University will be full of other girls…or boys, if, after tonight, that’s something you decide you want to explore a little more.”

“Plagg?” Adrien looked up, meeting his kwami’s eyes. “I don’t _want_ anyone else.”

“…Not even Luka?” Plagg groaned at Adrien’s stubbornness. “Because you seemed pretty into Luka, and he looked pretty into you too.”

Adrien closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his knees once more. “Luka is great, and, yes, I find him attractive, but tonight was mostly about the affection and the attention and my usual problem with just wanting someone to touch me. Would I make out with him? Yes. Do I want to be in a relationship with him? No. There’s only one person I want.”

“But _why_?” Plagg whined. “Why, oh, why do you want her?”

“Because I love her,” Adrien answered simply. “That’s reason enough.”

Plagg wanted to tear his hair out. “You’re only giving her the power to hurt you. Didn’t your therapist say something about not doing that and not forgiving people who hurt you over and over again and self-respect and not making someone else the source of your happiness and-and…a bunch of other things that implied that you need to find someone else?”

“Plagg, my therapist is trying to teach me that I don’t need _anyone_ else, that I can be okay on my own. I’m choosing to be on my own until Marinette is ready to be with me, so drop it, please,” Adrien whispered bitterly, beginning to tremble.

Plagg nuzzled his neck, trying to be supportive against his inclination to scream, “Yeah, you’ll be on your own until you can’t take it anymore and end up sleeping with someone you have no business sleeping with. Then you’ll feel bad about yourself, and it will just be the past five months all over again”. He knew it wouldn’t do any good telling Adrien that now when he was struggling just to hold himself together.

“I want off,” Adrien whimpered, no longer fighting back the tears. “I want off this rollercoaster. I want to get to the part where she loves me already, where it doesn’t hurt anymore, where I get to be in a loving, stable relationship. I want to get to happily ever after all ready because— _this_ —this sucks. This isn’t how you write a romance novel; this is a tragedy, and it’s not even a good tragedy because there are no swordfights or evil masterminds, and I thought I was Hero from Much Ado About Nothing, but am I actually Ophelia from Hamlet? I don’t even—”

“—Kid!” Plagg snapped, cutting Adrien off. “Kid, I need you to breathe. Stop talking and take actual breaths of air. And stop identifying with Ophelia when we’re in the middle of a river. You’re freaking me out.”

“S-Sorry.” Adrien took a stuttering breath and looked up. “Plagg?”

“Yeah, Kitten?”

“Luka’s better than I am,” Adrien informed in a small voice.

Plagg scoffed. “Luka doesn’t save Paris from eminent doom on a weekly basis. You may be a little smitten with him, but don’t go putting him up on a pedestal. You have a bad habit of doing that with people you like.”

Adrien shook his head. “No. Luka’s…a better boyfriend than I am.”

Plagg rolled his eyes. “You haven’t even seen the two of them together. They could be a train wreck. They probably fight all the time. Marinette is a disaster; I bet she sinks whatever relationship she’s in.”

Adrien glared meaningfully at his kwami.

Plagg sighed in resignation. “Kid, she hurt you. Why can’t I talk smack about her?”

“That’s my future wife and the mother of my children you’re talking about,” Adrien answered tersely even as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Plagg wisely kept his mouth shut on the issue. “Luka’s not better than you.”

“Yes, he is,” Adrien mumbled, dejected once more. “I can tell just from how he was with me. I can only imagine how much more attentive and affectionate and sweet he is with her.”

“Do us both a favor and stop imagining it,” Plagg groaned softly in frustration. “She may have hurt you, but you’re the one actively torturing yourself on her behalf. Stop it.”

“But what if she likes him better?” Adrien continued regardless. “What if she decides she wants to be with him? I have to do something. I have to—I don’t know—win her back. I have to…”

All of the sudden, Adrien came to a stop.

Plagg could see him shutting down, see the emotional shutters lowering.

Adrien wiped the tears from his eyes and got to his feet, going back over to the railing to stare out unseeingly at Paris as the ship made its way back to the dock across from the Eiffel Tower.

“Kitten?” Plagg called tentatively.

“I don’t think she loves me anymore,” Adrien whispered.

Plagg held back the instinctual quip of, “Kid, I don’t think she ever really loved _you_ at all” in favor of alighting on Adrien’s shoulder and nuzzling Adrien’s neck once more. It didn’t look like it was helping, but Plagg had to believe that the little bit of physical affection he could offer was doing some good. Because what else could he do for the kid?

“Maybe we need to call your father,” Plagg suggested.

“And if she doesn’t love me,” Adrien continued single-mindedly, “what’s the point of any of this?”

“Adrien, let’s not get all existential,” Plagg advised. “She’s just a girl. She’s not worth all this.”

“She is to me,” Adrien whispered. “I love her so, so much, but…she doesn’t love me.”

“Adrien, let’s call and talk to someone,” Plagg prompted, trying to remember the other coping strategies Adrien and his therapist had talked about. “You’re doing that vicious circle thing. How about you try that STOP technique: Stop. Take a deep breath. Observe the situation…. What was the P again?”

Adrien didn’t respond.

“Kitten?”

Nothing.

“Adrien, come on,” Plagg pleaded. “This is the part where you have to fight. You have to decide that you don’t want to give in to the negative emotions. You have to decide that you want to fight them.”

“What’s the point?” Adrien wondered. “Why fight at all when you’re only going to wear yourself out until you go under anyway? It’s easier just to let yourself drown.”

“Okay, I propose a moratorium on all mentions of drowning for the next hour. We’re on a ship, and you’re making me uncomfortable.”

Adrien shrugged, looking down at the Seine. “I’m tired, Plagg. She’s not talking to me—not _really_. I’m not invited to her party tomorrow, so she obviously doesn’t want me around. She’s cutting me out of her life. She’s moving on. There haven’t even been any akuma attacks where I could remind her that I’m useful. Even then, the team’s big enough now that she doesn’t really need me. She’s got Nino and Alya and Chloé and all of the others to pick from. I’m practically obsolete. She’s cutting me loose. I guess her feelings for me weren’t worth much after all…. _I_ wasn’t worth much.”

“Kid, Kid, Kid, stop,” Plagg commanded, tugging at Adrien’s sleeve.

The marble blankness of Adrien’s face and the eerie calmness to his voice scared Plagg. Nothing good could come of this. Plagg knew the calm before the storm when he saw it. Adrien was on the verge of an implosion or an explosion, and, either way, it was going to be a gory mess.

Plagg vastly preferred the explosion route, and he had an idea of how to get them there. “Okay. Adrien, stay here and don’t do anything—stupid or otherwise. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Adrien didn’t respond, and Plagg flew off like a bullet, phasing down through the ship to the lower deck and searching the dancefloor for his intended target.

Plagg spotted Alya and Marinette over by the refreshments table and made the minimal effort not to be seen as he raced towards them. He flew right up in Marinette’s face, startling both girls as he growled, “ _You_.”

“Chat Noir’s kwami?” Alya’s eyes went wide, and she reached for her phone.

“You, come with me,” Plagg ordered savagely before turning on Alya. “And _you_ never saw me.” He raised a claw threateningly. “My kitten isn’t the only destructive one around here. Capiche?”

Alya nodded slowly, taking a step back.

Plagg looked back at Marinette with a glare. “Come on.” He phased into her left shoulder where he usually hid on Adrien. “Upper deck. Run.”

To her credit, Marinette took off her heels and ran. “What happened?” she whispered as she flew past the other party guests. “Akuma?”

“I wish,” Plagg snorted. “Unfortunately, _you_ happened to him, and now he’s almost as bad as an opium addict. We just met your boyfriend, by the way.”

Marinette almost tripped on the topmost step. Her breath caught as she spotted Adrien sitting on top of the railing with his legs dangling dangerously over the side. She kept running, ignoring the discomfort of bare feet on the rough metal deck.

Plagg cursed, flying to his chosen’s side. “Kitten, you get down off that railing this instant!”

Adrien shrugged. “I’m not going to fall.”

“You don’t know that,” Plagg retorted. “You’ve been drinking!”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m sober now.”

“Don’t care. Get down because you’re raising my blood pressure.”

“Adrien?” Marinette called tentatively, and Adrien almost did lose his balance and fall at the sound of her voice.

Slowly, he turned, looking at her over his shoulder.

“You brought _her_?” Adrien grumbled at Plagg.

Plagg shrugged. “I thought it would be more beneficial for you to explode at her than implode on yourself.”

With a sigh, Adrien pinwheeled his legs over the railing to face Marinette, hoping that he looked cool, trying not to let his face show how very much in love with her he still was, especially with her in that dress.

“Good Evening, Princess.” He summoned up all of his Chat Noir composure in order to keep it together.

“Good Evening,” Marinette echoed uncertainly. “Plagg came to get me?”

“I didn’t send him.” Adrien shrugged in what he hoped looked like indifference.

Marinette sighed, taking a few tentative steps forward. “I can tell you’re doing a lot better. You’ve got some of your spunk back. You’re doing that thing where you’re hurt, so you act like you don’t care. It’s actually a relief to see some of your old Chat Noir petulance.”

The un-gelled hair at the back of Adrien’s neck stood on end. “You know, this is supposed to be a technique to save face so that you don’t know how bad you’ve hurt me. It kind of loses all meaning when you see right through me like a pane of glass.”

Marinette smiled sadly. “I know you well, Chaton.”

A sarcastic grin twisted its way across Adrien’s face. “If you know me well, you know how it felt to find out that you have a boyfriend…from your boyfriend.”

Marinette winced, his words a steel dagger hitting her in the stomach and jerking up viciously. “I’m sorry you found out like that. I was going to tell you.”

“When?” Adrien laughed bitterly. “When you sent out the wedding invites?”

“Soon. In the next week. After school let out so that it wouldn’t mess up the end of high school for you if it upset you,” she mumbled, eyes angled down at the deck.

“‘If’? _If_ it upset me?” Adrien’s teeth ground together. “Marinette, why in the world would I be upset? It’s not like this whole thing with you has upended my life for the past month or anything. You could have told me at any point. Why didn’t you _really_?”

“Luka asked me out just a little over two weeks ago, and I thought about it for a couple days before I said yes. It was still pretty new, and I was still trying to figure things out when I spoke to you on the phone last week, and I’ve spent this week talking with Nino, trying to figure out how and when and who should tell you,” she explained, glancing up at him hesitantly. “I didn’t want to hurt you any more than was necessary. I just…”

“Nino knows about this?” Adrien’s voice cracked somewhere between anger and hurt. “How long has Nino known about this?”

Marinette looked away. “I asked him not to tell you right away. We were trying to figure out the best way to tell you.”

Adrien nodded as hurt won out. “I guess that’s why he was so spooked when I showed up tonight. He knew you were going to be here with Luka and he was afraid I’d find out. That’s why he told me to steer clear of Luka…. I guess this is why my therapist said I should have my own friends separate from the ones we have in common. I need someone who’s just on my side and isn’t stuck with conflicting loyalties between us like Alya and Nino. Chloé would have said ‘screw you, Dupain-Cheng’ and told me the second she found out. Kagami and Elise would have told me.”

“Please don’t be mad at Nino,” Marinette begged. “He’s doing his best to be there for the both of us. It’s just hard, and he’s not perfect.”

“I’m not mad at Nino,” Adrien assured. “I’m mad at _you_. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I was _going_ to tell you,” Marinette sighed. “It wasn’t a good time. I hadn’t talked to you in forever, and I didn’t want the first thing I said to you to be that I was seeing someone because I still want to be friends with you when this is all over. I was going to tell you once we were talking again and things were a little less precarious.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, propping his elbows on the railing behind him and leaning back. “And whose fault is it that we aren’t talking in the first place?”

Marinette pressed her lips together in frustration. “At the risk of sounding childish, you started it.”

“Excuse me?” Adrien scoffed. “You’re the one who needed ‘space’—whatever the hell that means. You left me alone, totally devastated, at a park to get akumatized. Who started what now, Milady?”

“Before that, I mean,” Marinette growled, temper simmering. “You forget that I had to trick you into meeting me at that restaurant that day because you had been avoiding _me_ for a week and a half after Chat Noir kissed me. _You_ , Adrien Agreste, were avoiding _me_ while you figured out whatever you were figuring out after that kiss. You didn’t answer my calls. You ran away before I could talk to you between classes. You cancelled Chinese and anime night because you were trying to work through things and you couldn’t be around me while you did that. Now, I ask you, is that any different from me needing some time away from you to process all the crap that I had just found out that day? Why is it okay for you to shut me out while you get your head in order, but it’s suddenly the betrayal of the century when I need to do the same thing?”

Adrien looked away, muttering, “I didn’t avoid you for a whole _month_ …. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

“I was as there as I was able to be, Minou,” Marinette whispered sorrowfully, taking a few cautious steps forward. “I’m sorry. I wanted to be there, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t for both of our sakes.”

The want in her eyes was clearly visible as those ocean blue orbs glimmered in the moonlight, wet with her regrets.

Like a magnet, he found himself irresistibly drawn to meet her. His arms wrapped around her, and she didn’t resist. Her hands came to rest on his hips as he squeezed her tight, burying his face in her neck, intoxicated by her warmth, her scent, the softness of her skin against his.

“I needed to think about things,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “I’d given up on Adrien, and I was ready to try to love Chat, but then you were the same person, and I couldn’t handle that. It took lying awake night after night after night after night for me to unpack all of that. Four and a half years of mistakes and guilt and trauma. Four and a half years of fighting by your side and not knowing it. Four and a half years of tripping over myself over you, the torment of not being able to tell you how I felt, the fear of ruining the friendship once I was finally able to be actual friends with you…guilt for hurting you for so long. Guilt for thinking that I loved Adrien when what I quote-unquote ‘loved’ was just a façade…or, at least, not the real you, not the whole you…. I’ve been thinking about so many things, trying to wrap my head around all of this stuff. Is it any wonder it took weeks? And then it was awkward to try to fix things between us because it felt like I’d taken too long…. You’re not the only one who felt like I had abandoned you.”

Adrien nuzzled her neck, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her bare back. “You overthink things, Princess. You let yourself get trapped in vicious loops too.” He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers. “It’s okay. We’re back together now.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

Marinette squeaked, pushing him away.

Adrien blinked down at her in confusion.

“Adrien, I’m dating Luka,” she gasped, eyes full of terror and desire warring for dominance as she fought not to give in and kiss him back. She _wanted_ those arms around her; she wanted those lips on hers.

“You shouldn’t be dating him,” Adrien scoffed, countering her retreat with a step forward. “You love _me_ —I saw it in your eyes, Marinette. You _love_ me, and I love you. There’s no reason why we shouldn’t be together.”

“Except that I’m already in a relationship with someone else,” Marinette retorted, crossing her arms, closing herself off.

Adrien shrugged. “Break up with him.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “I am not breaking up with him. Luka is marvelous and sweet and thoughtful, and he deserves more consideration than that. This isn’t like those girls you casually dated, Adrien. I’m in an actual relationship.”

Jealousy flared in Adrien’s chest. “But you shouldn’t be. You don’t love him.”

“Maybe not, but I sure am infatuated with him,” Marinette snorted, “and when I told him I’d go out with him, I promised I’d give things between him and me an actual chance. Maybe I’m doing a crappy job of being emotionally faithful, but I’m not just going to toss him aside on a whim.”

“I think I’m more than just a whim,” Adrien riposted.

“ _You_ are a nearly five-year-long unhealthy obsession,” Marinette laughed, voice high and piercing. “And _I_ am a crazy, phone-stealing, neurotic stalker who is trying to rehab herself. You should be getting a restraining order instead of trying to date me.”

“Please note that I am holding back on making a joke about yoyos and leather belts and ‘restraining’,” Adrien snickered, just to see her blush.

Marinette pointedly avoided his gaze. “Adrien, you’re being unreasonable.”

“ _You_ are the unreasonable one. Why the hell would you want to date a guy that wears that much makeup?” Adrien grumbled, tired of her excuses. He was so sick of being told no when they both ultimately wanted the same thing.

Marinette turned back to shoot him an unamused look. “Says the guy who also wears a lot of makeup on a regular basis.”

“It’s different. I wear makeup for work.”

“You’re wearing makeup right now.”

Adrien pressed his lips together petulantly. “So are you.”

Marinette’s eye twitched. “This is the stupidest argument we’ve ever had.”

Adrien cleared his throat. “Do you remember about two years ago when we had that argument about your hair?”

Marinette groaned, her hand going to her forehead. “This is the second stupidest argument we’ve ever had,” she amended. “Stop being jealous of Luka. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I’m dating him, and you’re not going to talk me out of it.”

“You can’t date him,” Adrien countered resolutely.

Marinette balked at the sheer audacity. “You don’t get a vote. Sorry.”

“I feel like I _should_ when I’m the one getting cheated on,” Adrien snapped.

“Cheated on? How do you figure?” Marinette laughed, exasperated. “I’ll be the first to admit that you’ve been cheated in our relationship, Adrien, but I can’t cheat _on_ you if we’re not dating. And we’re _not_ dating. I am not and have never been yours.”

“Weren’t you?” Adrien snickered, pain and rejection flooding back into his voice. “For eleven and a half hours, weren’t you?”

Marinette sighed, going over to lean against the railing and look out at Paris. “Adrien, that doesn’t count.”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Adrien growled. “Those were some of the happiest hours of my life, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You don’t just get to sweep them under the rug or wish them away. That _happened_. Even if you hit the eject button as soon as you found out who I was under that mask, for two weeks I had the bruises you’d left on my neck to prove that it happened. I’m still yours, Marinette, and, like it or not, you’re mine.”

Marinette shook her head, shook off his words. “I’m _Luka’s_ if I’m anybody’s.”

“I’m your soulmate,” Adrien snorted. “What’s the point of trying to date anyone else when destiny has already done the work for you? We were made for one another. Dating anyone else is necessarily cheating on me. I am inevitable.”

Marinette gave him a strange look. “Why do you say that? I don’t think any of us can know who our soulmate is.”

“Because it’s true,” he stressed, coming to stand by her at the railing. “I’m your Black Cat, and you’re my Ladybug. _Fate_ chose us for one another. Who are you to fight that?”

He smiled lovingly even as her eyes widened in shock.

“Knowing that we were fated to be together kept me going for years even when Ladybug told me no over and over again,” Adrien whispered tenderly. “I always knew I was yours, that you would realize it too someday…that, ultimately, we would be together.”

Marinette shook her head slowly, pity flowing over her features. “Oh, Adrien…no. That’s…not how it works. Just because we’re two halves of the same whole, balancing forces…that doesn’t mean that we’re meant to be together romantically.”

Adrien’s facial muscles slowly began to shift into a frown of confusion.

“Not all Ladybugs and Black Cats are destined to be couples. I’m sorry. I mean, some partners are siblings or parent and child. A lot of times Ladybugs and Black Cats are just really good friends. Adrien, I’m not necessarily your soulmate,” she replied as softly and as gently as she could.

Adrien laughed. He’d intended it as a scoff, but it came out more nervous than anything. “W-Who told you that?”

“Tikki did.”

Adrien rolled his eyes and snorted savagely, “Well, she lied to you. She lied to make you feel better because you didn’t want to be with Chat Noir at the time. We _are_ meant for one another. Plagg, tell her the truth.”

Plagg didn’t respond.

“Plagg?” Adrien looked around for his kwami, but the cat spirit was nowhere to be found.

“Adrien, I’m sorry,” Marinette whispered, eyes wet with the beginnings of tears.

“Don’t be sorry now. Be sorry later when you realize that it’s true,” he snapped like an injured dog backed into a corner. “We _are_ soulmates. Anyone can see that we’re meant to be a set. You have no business dating Luka.”

“Adrien,” Marinette sighed, closing her eyes and hiding her face in her hands.

“No. Stop acting like you know better than I do. I’m right on this. You _need_ me.”

“Not like that,” Marinette muttered into her hands. “Not right now.”

“You _need_ me,” Adrien growled. “And to prove it, next akuma attack, you’re on your own. Give your new boyfriend a Miraculous and see how much help he is. See if he can measure up to me. See if he’ll die for you, Marinette. See _how many_ times he’s willing to die for you.”

“I never asked you to!” she shouted, looking up as her mascara started to run.

“You didn’t need to!” he retorted. “I would voluntarily go down into hell and drag you back up with me. You didn’t need to ask me because that’s just what you do when you love someone. I would sacrifice anything for you.”

“I wish you wouldn’t!” Marinette snapped, rounding on him. “Do you have any idea what that does to me, seeing you die? Do you know how stressful it is for me when you let yourself get killed, trusting me to end the fight on my own and bring you back? Do you know how much pressure that is? Do you know what that does to me? Do you know how traumatic it is to watch someone you care about immensely get zapped or fade out of existence? Surely you do. You’ve thought _I_ was dead before, right? That all doesn’t go away with the Miraculous Ladybugs. I still remember it afterwards. I still stress about ‘what if I’d done one thing different’ and ‘what if I hadn’t been able to do it this time’ and ‘oh, God. What if I had actually lost him’. I have nightmares about you dying. I have enough nightmares to make an entire season or two of a TV show out of them. And that was before I knew you were the guy I was obsessed with. Is it any wonder I haven’t slept much this month?”

“Princess.” Adrien reached for her.

Marinette stepped back, shaking her head. “I’m dating Luka, Adrien, and I’m trying to be good. Could you not tempt me?”

“Princess,” he called again, need coating the word.

“No.” She swiped at her tears.

“Please,” he whispered. “No one can possibly love you the way I do. Wake up.”

“Adrien,” she warned.

“Marinette,” he echoed. “This is stupid. You’re just doing what I did trying to date other people. That was sucky advice, Marinette. I’ve already lived that nightmare, and I’m telling you to go ahead and spare yourself the trouble. Maybe you’re not ready to be in a relationship with me, but don’t date other people.”

“Adrien, I don’t expect you to get it because you’re understandably biased in this, but I feel like I need to do this before I make any kind of decision, before I make anyone any promises about who I want to be with for the rest of my life,” she explained, temper cooling.

“It’s going to be me,” Adrien insisted.

Marinette shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll be honest. Right now? I want you. I may not want you for necessarily all the right reasons, but I do want you. I’ve never been this crazy about anyone else. I’ve never dated anyone else. I’ve never let myself develop feelings for anyone else because for the last almost five years, there’s only been you. I’ve never kissed anyone else. No one has touched me but you because I’ve never given anyone a chance. I’ve never given myself that chance. So, after spending my entire adolescence pining for you, going back and forth between obsessing over you, despairing over you, nearly giving you up and trying to just be friends, and then falling flat on my face for you over and over again, my hormones are overwhelming. My patience is thin. My nerves are frayed. My brain is fried, and I’m very, very tired, Adrien. These past four and a half years, for as long as Ladybug has been treating Chat Noir like a yoyo, she’s been doing the same thing to herself. I need a break. I need to give other people a chance like I should have been doing all along.”

He shook his head slowly, reaching for her hand.

She drew it away.

“Just be with me already.”

She shook her head. “I need to do this. I know it seems stupid and pointless to you, but it’s important to me. _You’re_ important to me. I know you’re serious, Adrien, and if I tell you yes, I want to be as close to one hundred percent sure as I can be because I can’t afford to get things wrong with you. As my partner and my friend, I care about you too much to tell you I’m in it for the long haul and then end up bailing on you halfway. It took a long time for me to get this messed up. It’s going to take some time for me to straighten everything out. I’m not asking you to wait for me. I’m just asking for time to figure things out.”

“You really think you need more time to overthink things?” he grumbled sourly in his frustration. “You’re making a mistake.”

Marinette shrugged, turning back towards the railing. “Maybe I am.” She smiled tiredly, her gaze piercing him like sewing needles. “Human beings make mistakes, Adrien, and I am a human being. You were the one to deify me; I never claimed to be an infallible goddess. Maybe I’ll screw everything up and come crawling back to you begging for forgiveness when this is all over. Maybe I’ll find what I’m looking for. I don’t know what I’m doing all the time, Chaton. I just know that I can’t fall into your arms the way you want me to with the way that I am right now. I have to work on being a healthy me before I think I’ll be ready to work on any kind of healthy ‘us’ with someone else.”

Adrien looked away, turning back towards the Seine. “Why can’t it just be me? Why can’t we work on our individual problems while still being together as a couple?”

“As a couple?” She shook her head. “As a couple, I think making out and sex would be our top priorities. For me, at least, self-improvement would fall by the wayside. As friends would be better.”

“I don’t want to be just friends with you,” Adrien snorted.

“I don’t understand why you want to be anything more than just friends with me,” she laughed softly. “After everything I’ve put you through, I don’t understand why you even want to be friends with me.”

“I love you,” he answered breathily. “All of you. Your bravery and your strength, your cowardice and your weakness, your compassion and your temper and your enthusiasm and your clumsiness. Even when you infuriate me, I still love you.”

She looked away as guilt crawled once more up her sternum.

 “Even when you hurt me, even when you’re disappointed in me…even when I’m disappointed in you,” he whispered. “Real love withstands all that. Sometimes I don’t like you. Right now, I really, really don’t like you, Marinette, but I still _love_ you. I will _always_ love you because that’s what love is. When I told you I loved you, that was a promise to stand by you no matter what—good times and bad.”

Marinette crumpled, resting her forehead against the railing as the tears began to flow.

“Even though things are bad right now, we’re going to get through this because we love one another,” he attempted to reassure the both of them.

Marinette shook her head and forced herself to look at him. “Adrien, I’m so sorry, but…” she choked. “I don’t. I don’t love you like that.”

He blinked at her. “But…you said that you did.” His mind whirled, replaying the scene, trying to make sense of her words. “At the park, you told me that you’d been in love with Adrien. You told me that you loved me.”

She bit her lip, trying to hold back a fresh onslaught of sobs. “The kind of love you just described to me…that’s not what I meant. That’s not how I felt about you.”

He continued to stare at her uncomprehendingly. “Then…what _did_ you mean?”

Her gaze dropped to his tie in shame. “I meant that…I guess it would be more accurate to say that I had a crush on you. That I was obsessed with you. Maybe more with the idea of you than anything. Of course it wasn’t all fake. As I got to know you as a friend, I saw pieces of the real you. I saw less desirable aspects of you, and I still liked you. I was still really, really crazy about you. I thought about what we would name our kids and what kind of pet we would have and what our wedding would be like…but…that was really just schoolgirl daydreams. A couple months ago when you started dating all those girls, I didn’t like you so much anymore. I…I _didn’t_ stand by you. My feelings for you didn’t stand up to that test. I failed. I failed you.”

She took a deep breath and met his blank gaze. “I know what it means to love you as a friend. I know what it means to treasure you as a partner. I am eighteen years old, and I don’t have the first clue about what loving someone romantically really entails. I shouldn’t have thrown the ‘l’ word around so easily, Adrien, because right now it is frighteningly apparent that I don’t love you in the same way that you love me, and I am so, so sorry for that.”

“You… _don’t_ love me?” he clarified, trying to absorb all that she had said.

Very slowly, Marinette shook her head. “No, Adrien. I’m sorry. I thought I knew what love meant, but it’s obvious that I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’m sorry that I got it wrong.”

He kept staring. His world had been upended yet again, and he had no idea where he was standing. “Then…what…? How…How do you feel about me then? I don’t understand.”

“You’re really precious to me,” she assured. “Just because I’m not in love with you, please don’t think you’re not important. I do love you. Like I love Alya and Nino and my parents. I am interested in you romantically, but I think it’s more obsession and lust than the selfless, unshakeable love you described to me. I think it’s kind of obvious that my ‘love’ for you isn’t the kind where I put you first above all else.

“Maybe I’ll get there eventually,” she offered. “I don’t want to make any promises, though. I feel really old sometimes, but when I think about it, I’m still very young. I could live to be eighty. I could live to be one hundred. What’s eighteen years lived when there are dozens more to go? I have time to get all this stuff straight. I have time to figure things out.”

Adrien slumped against the railing. His entire body felt heavy. “Haven’t I waited long enough? Why am I being punished like this?”

“You’re not being punished, Adrien.” Hesitantly, she reached out her hand and rested it on the railing not far from his. “I’m sorry that it feels like you are. Sometimes, life just is unfair like this.”

He didn’t take her hand.

“Maybe you have waited long enough on me,” Marinette tried again. “Maybe you should stop waiting.”

Adrien scoffed at that. “If you’re about ready to tell me I should date other people, save your breath. I’m done. It’s you or nothing. Don’t bother trying to change my mind because I’m incapable of truly loving anyone else. My heart is yours. Period. Do whatever the hell you want with it.”

He turned in a huff, storming over to collapse roughly into one of the plastic chairs bolted down into the observation deck.

Marinette didn’t follow right away. She hesitated a full minute before slowly making her way over to sink into the chair beside him.

It was another minute or two before either of them spoke.

“You know what really gets me?” Adrien snickered bitterly. “I did everything I could think of to get you to love me, and none of that worked. Clearly, all I can do is continue to be patient until you realize how badly you’ve screwed this up, and then we can both apologize and finally be together. But what if you really fall for Luka between now and then? I spent, like, almost an hour with him tonight, and _I_ was contemplating making an exception about not being interested in sleeping with guys. How am I supposed to compete with him when I’ve already given it my best and all I’ve gotten for that is a ‘yeah, I want to sleep with you Adrien, but I’m not so sure about actually spending the rest of my life with you’?”

Marinette winced but didn’t respond. There were so many things she wished she could take back, so many do-overs she wished she could have, so many things she wished she could change between them so that she could be the woman this wonderful boy deserved.

“In what universe am I ever going to be good enough for you?” Adrien whispered sadly.

Marinette jerked, whipping around to frown intently, brow furrowed, lips pressed tight. “This one.”

Adrien turned slowly, arching an eyebrow.

“This universe,” she reiterated. “Adrien, you are already good enough. Yes, you have emotional and mental health issues that you need to work on to be healthier in general, but those don’t make you somehow…” She struggled for the right word. “…not enough or not good as you are right now. You are one of the sweetest, most selfless people I know. You’re loving and kind and fun, and you deserve love right now, exactly as you are, okay?”

He opened his mouth to reply, but words failed him.

She held his gaze. “How I feel about you—how _any_ other person feels about you—does not change that. There is no becoming ‘good enough’. You’re already there…. And you’re not making these changes in your life for me. You’re making them for _you_. You’re not becoming healthy as a means to the end goal of dating me, okay? I’m a flawed human being like you with my own crap to figure out. I am not something to pin your happiness on because I will only keep letting you down most of the time. You have to do this for yourself.”

Adrien snorted softly in resignation. “Every man for himself?”

“Pretty much,” Marinette sighed. “I don’t mean to say that you’re alone. Of course you’ve got your family and friends and everyone just like I have mine. There are plenty of people to support you, but you’re the one who has to do the actual work. No one can do it for you.”

“You sound like Nino,” Adrien groaned.

“Because I’m totally plagiarizing Nino. He’s given me the ‘you have to do the work yourself’ line a couple times…more than a couple times.” Marinette smiled sheepishly. “As he forced me to get up off the floor and put my earrings back in.”

“You took your earrings out?” Adrien gawked in astonishment.

“In case I got akumatized,” she explained. “Nino holds onto the earrings and keeps a lookout for black butterflies while I sob my eyes out periodically.”

Adrien frowned. “You…aren’t doing so great, are you?”

“Nope. I’ve got an appointment with a guidance counselor coming up next week,” she chuckled because what else could she do in the current mess she was in?

“That’s good. I think my therapist is really helping me sort things out,” he muttered.

“That’s good,” she returned.

A tentative silence fell between them as they both ran through their own lists of things they wanted to say to each other but didn’t know how.

“Do we have to do this?” Adrien sighed. “Do you have to date Luka? Can’t _we_ just start dating and pretend everything is fine? Maybe you don’t love me like I love you, but you still love me. You still have feelings for me. Maybe if we just dive into a relationship, you really will fall in love with me like you said you were starting to fall for Chat Noir.”

“And maybe I’ll just keep leading you on for another couple years before deciding that I don’t want to be with you romantically after all, and then our friendship will never recover,” she sighed. “I asked Nino if I could just say screw it and throw myself at you again, and he nearly blew a gasket. He said I’m stuck with the decision I made and that I wasn’t allowed to yank you around. I think he’s right. I think that if I’m going to be in a relationship with you, I need to do it right.”

“And how do you do this ‘right’?” Adrien sniffed doubtfully.

“Heck if I know,” Marinette sighed. “But I think it has to start with me seeing the real you and choosing you because of all the ways you’re wonderful _and_ screwed up. All these years, I don’t think I’ve seen you clearly. Just like how you keep insisting that I’m perfect, I’ve had you up on your own pedestal for a long time. I think it’s time for us to take down the idols and start seeing the shabby wrecks the other really is. There can still be great beauty in imperfections. Sometimes something is even more beautiful _because_ it’s not perfect.”

“Like how flawed, natural gemstones are worth more than lab-made synthetics?” Adrien chuckled. “Is that optimism, Milady?”

“That’s me giving it my best shot,” Marinette sighed, leaning back in her seat. “Adrien, I’m not promising you a relationship, okay? I don’t want you getting your hopes up only for me to crush you again because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m not telling you to wait around, and I’m not telling you that you can’t wait around. It’s your life, and you can do whatever you want. I just hope you’ll do something that makes you happy because, first and foremost, you’re a dear friend, and I want you to be happy.”

He gave her an ironic smile. He didn’t say anything, but she heard his meaning loud and clear: I will only be happy when you love me.

Marinette winced.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I’m stubborn. Falling in love a second time was rough. I don’t think I could do it a third time, and even if I managed it, it would probably just be with you all over again.”

Marinette closed her eyes.

“…You okay?” he asked after a minute.

“Not really,” she confessed. “Pretty miserable. I’m frustrated, and I feel like a horrible person. It’s like…if I don’t fall in love with you, I’m betraying you and making you unhappy forever, but if I just force myself to be in a relationship with you because I feel guilty, I’m betraying myself…while simultaneously not being fair to you. I feel doomed.”

“Sorry,” he repeated.

“Thanks. And sorry,” she returned.

They were quiet for a long time as the boat neared the dock.

“Do you think we can just be friends?” Marinette wondered up at the stars.

“I don’t want to be just friends,” Adrien replied softly yet firmly.

Marinette’s expression crumpled even as she kept her gaze up at the sky.

Silence fell between them once again.

“…Are _you_ okay?” She was afraid to ask but felt obligated to know.

“Nope,” he laughed. “I’m stuck in an elevator waiting to be rescued, but the elevator keeps dropping unexpectantly. Over and over, every time I plunge, I think, ‘This is it. I’m going to die’…but I never hit the bottom with you. I don’t know what floor I’m on or how many more until the end. I don’t know if anyone’s even coming to get me out.”

“Sorry,” Marinette managed in a small, horrified voice.

“Don’t,” he sighed. “Don’t pity me. Just focus on figuring yourself out.”

She nodded. “…How can you still love me after all that? I would hate me.”

“I do hate you,” he admitted in a deceptively calm voice, making her jump. “I hate you, and I’m mad at you, and I’m hurt, and I feel betrayed and cheated on and let down and tired. A part of me would love to go all Carmen on you, actually.”

“Carmen?” she interrupted.

“You’ve never seen Bizet’s Carmen?” He stared at her in horror. “I’ll have to take you sometime. She royally screws him up and then leaves him. The main difference between us and them is that all they have is lust. I _love_ you, Marinette, and I’d never be capable of hurting you. I’d kill myself first. Love and hate aren’t mutually exclusive. I hate you right now for the way you make me feel, but I still love you. I don’t think I can stop loving you, so if you decide you just want to be friends with me, you’ll have to get over that fact.”

She nodded, feeling like she had a steep upward climb ahead of her. “Okay. I’ll add it to the list of things to think about.”

“Can I ask one more thing of you?” he inquired softly.

“Sure.” She looked up at him with soft eyes, her heart aching for him.

“As soon as you know you’re in love with Luka and want to be with him, tell me?” he pleaded. “Let me down gently but _tell_ me this time. Finding out tonight from Luka was…kind of soul-crushing because this whole time I’ve been working on getting better, I was thinking that you’d be waiting for me at the end. False hope kind of sucks, Princess, particularly when you rip it away suddenly.”

“I’m s-sorry,” she hiccupped.

He shrugged. “You were never the only one in the wrong. This has been a team-effort screw up.” He leaned in and planted a butterfly kiss on her forehead. “Take care of yourself, feel better, and let me know when you figure things out.”

He got to his feet and carefully stepped past her.

She caught his hand.

They held each other’s gaze for a full minute before Marinette gave his hand a squeeze and reluctantly let go.

“Goodbye, Meinu,” Adrien purred sadly.

“Goodbye, Beau Gosse,” Marinette whispered, not liking the sound of finality to the words.

She watched his back as he walked away, and a large chunk of her heart went with him, even though her feelings didn’t yet match the depth of the love he felt for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Mikau struggles with the concept of a "drabble" on a fundamental level.)
> 
> Well. There's that. Now that I've destroyed everything, I have to work on building it back up. -.-; I had only meant for this to be a little ten-chapter drabble collection. What the heck happened? Are you enjoying this, though? It's completely run away with me. I hadn't intended there to be so much drama, but... Well. I hope you liked it.
> 
> I guess two quick notes on translations. Meinu is Chinese for "Beautiful" as in "Hello, Beautiful" (made up of the hanzi for beauty and woman). Beau Gosse is what Marinette calls Adrien when she leaves that embarrassing voicemail. Roughly, it means "handsome boy", but "gosse" is actually kind of slangy for "kid".
> 
> Thank you for reading. See you all on Monday 07/15/2019!
> 
> Randomness:  
> Friends, I have been contemplating Ladrien. I needed to not think about Daisy because the drama is exhausting, so I was considering making a sort of "bouquet", if you will, out of drabble collections of the four love square pairings just kind of as a writing exercise. I don't really do much with Lady Noir or Ladrien because Lady Noir isn't my favourite and Ladrien is just...I don't love it, but I think it would be an interesting challenge to see if I could make a pairing that I don't love work. I was thinking about it seriously last night, and I think I have the first six chapters of a Ladrien piece conceptualized. The collection would be called "By Any Other Name" (familiarly referred to as "Rose" for our purposes. Yes, I realize that that's a Romeo and Juliet reference instead of another line from Ophelia's flower speech, but...it FITS). Maybe in a month or two. I kind of want to get back to Rejects and Happenstance. I miss writing Marichat.


	28. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the party at the Agreste Mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! Happy Monday. I hope you all had a good weekend.
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. Thank you especially for all of your thoughtful and thought-provoking comments on last chapter. I love the discussions you guys are having! I wish I had more time to take part in them. :/ Maybe I’ll catch up on replies eventually. My life is kicking my butt right now. My coworker and one of our attornies are out, so I’m trying to keep things afloat until they get back. Fun times.
> 
> Anyway, updates this week are Monday, 07/15/2018; Wednesday, 07/17/2019; and Friday, 07/19/2019.

To be entirely fair, Gabriel would have finished the project earlier if he hadn’t been distracted by his concern over how Adrien was fairing at the party. Even after he’d received a text assuring him that Adrien was having a great time, Gabriel couldn’t seem to focus. There were just too many things that could go wrong. He’d almost asked Nathalie for his Miraculous back so that he could have Nooroo fly back and forth keeping tabs on Adrien.

“You’re still not done?” Nathalie blinked blearily at him from the atelier door a little after one in the morning. She wrapped the kimono-like dressing gown Emilie had bought her more tightly as she came over to stand next to him at his podium and rest her chin on his shoulder. “You’re sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

“I’m almost finished. Go back to sleep.” Gabriel turned to press a fleeting kiss to the side of her head. “What are you doing up?”

“I had my phone on in case Adrien or you needed anything. Victor texted me a few minutes ago to let me know that he and Adrien were on their way home, and the text alert woke me up.”

“Go back to sleep,” Gabriel repeated softly. “I’ll finish up in a minute and be in shortly after I see that Adrien makes it home all right.”

“Very well. You know where to find me should you need anything.” Nathalie kissed her fiancé on the cheek and headed back to bed.

Ten minutes later, Gabriel was just shutting down his computer for the night when he heard the front door open.

“Adrien?” He caught his son halfway up the stairs.

“D-Dad. I didn’t think you’d actually still be up. I was just going to wake you,” Adrien explained, descending back into the foyer.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Gabriel fiddled with his glasses as he strode across the room to inspect his son. “How was the rest of the party?”

“Fine.” Adrien shrugged, blank-faced. “A bit of a rollercoaster. After I texted you, I was talking with a girl in my class, Alix, and that went pretty well. I was actually thinking of inviting her over to try out the skatepark in the basement, if that’s okay.”

“Alix…Chronogirl? The pink-haired skater girl?” Gabriel confirmed.

“Uh…yeah.” Adrien nodded, trying not to linger too much over his father being more familiar with his classmates’ names when they had been akumatized than their given names.

“I don’t see that being a problem.” Gabriel agreed easily. “Please discuss a time with Alix and clear it with Nathalie. What happened after that?”

Adrien winced. “Some jock guy was being a jerk. There was a misunderstanding about one of my ex-girlfriends who he has a thing for. It’s not a big deal, so you don’t need to hire a hitman or anything. It was just kind of upsetting. Then I ran into…” Adrien cleared his throat.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Gabriel guessed.

“Er…not yet.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. “Then why are you blushing?”

“Uh…I’m not. It’s probably just the lighting,” Adrien lied. “Your eyes are tired from looking at your screen all night.”

Gabriel crossed his arms. “Is there another girl now?”

Adrien schooled his facial features into a nonresponsive mask. “No. No, there is not. Do you remember Luka Couffaine? Blue hair, my classmate Juleka’s older brother, I used to take guitar lessons from him until you found out and forbade it?” Adrien forced a smile.

“Silence. Yes?” Gabriel frowned. “You ran into him?”

“And got swept off his feet,” Plagg snickered.

“Plagg!” Adrien yelped. “That is not what happened!”

“The kid was feeling dizzy, and Prince Charming helped him outside so he could get some air. Then he sat with him and got him some water and snacks, and they talked and had a bonding moment over opera and classical music—apparently Prince Charming has a thing for Ravel—and then they _danced_ , if you can call _that_ dancing,” Plagg cackled, darting about so that Adrien couldn’t catch him.

“Plagg, if you say another word, I am never feeding you again!” Adrien threatened.

With a gleeful chuckle, Plagg landed and curled up on Gabriel’s shoulder.

Gabriel stared at his son in concern. “What _actually_ happened?”

Adrien blushed. He hadn’t intended to do more than mention Luka in passing. The whole “yes, I would kiss a boy, but you don’t have to worry about me dating them” thing was still extremely new, and Adrien really didn’t want to push his luck with this yet.

“So…some of the things that that jock guy that I mentioned before said to me were pretty hurtful and upsetting. They kind of triggered a panic attack, and I ran into Luka _literally_ , and it turns out he knows someone who has panic attacks, so he’s really good at talking people through them. He took me outside and helped me sit down and loosened my tie for me and sat with me and got me something to drink and something to eat, and he talked to me, and he was really kind and really considerate, and he said so many nice things to me. Like, genuinely nice things. He wasn’t just sucking up and trying to get in good with me because I have money. He wasn’t being fake, and he wasn’t just trying to get into my pants. I’ve dealt with all of those kinds of people before, and Luka wasn’t like that. He was just being himself, and I was kind of just being myself, and now we might be friends.”

Gabriel pursed his lips and cleared his throat. “So…he didn’t…try to kiss you or anything?”

Plagg let out a sharp laugh. “Other way around.”

Gabriel and Adrien both went wide-eyed.

“That is a lie!” Adrien squeaked. “Why would you even say that?!”

Plagg held up his paws in surrender. “I must have been mistaken. I thought I saw you making eyes at him and leaning in.”

“You _were_ mistaken,” Adrien grumpily assured, making a mental note to donate all the Camembert in his fridge to charity and replace it with cheap grocery store slices. “Making out with anyone—boy or girl—in public was expressly against the rules. I would never do something like that.”

“I thought you told Luka that it only counted if someone got it on camera,” Plagg hummed. “Or did I misunderstand the way that you winked at him too?”

Adrien’s face went white, and he buried it in his hands. “Why are you doing this to me?” he groaned. “Have I not had a bad enough night that you feel that you have to make it worse?!”

“I’m doing this because you’re in shock, and, pretty soon, the shock is going to wear off and you’re going to have another meltdown,” Plagg snorted.

Gabriel glanced back and forth between the kwami and his son.

“I think it might be helpful for your father to have the whole story straight,” Plagg explained.

“How is me flirting with another guy relevant?!” Adrien shrieked, glaring at his kwami.

As soon as the words left his lips and truly registered to Adrien, he clapped a hand over his mouth.

Gabriel grimaced in sympathy. “...Did Monsieur Couffaine flirt back?”

Adrien nodded, ears turning scarlet. He lowered his hand. “He said I was cute. That I was funny and interesting and someone he’d like to get to know. It wasn’t anything serious. We were just play-flirting. Nothing happened. It was just for fun.”

“I see.” Not for the first time, Gabriel did _not_ see, but he wasn’t about to ask for an explanation because it was apparent that they were on a very sensitive subject and that something _had_ happened with Marinette and that Plagg was positive that Adrien was going to be having an episode any time now. “And…you two danced?”

Adrien nodded.

“…Like those pictures of you dancing with Monsieur Lahiffe at the karaoke bar the other night?” Gabriel mentally winced at the thought of his son dancing so intimately with another man, a man that Gabriel did not know well, that Gabriel did not trust to act in his son’s best interests.

“A little like that,” Plagg answered on Adrien’s behalf. “A little more intimately, I think. They were both really into it.”

“Plagg, are you trying to get me akumatized out of sheer mortification?” Adrien groaned. “It didn’t mean anything. I was just having fun dancing with a friend who happens to be a guy, and we both think the other is attractive, but nothing is actually going to happen because I don’t sleep with guys, and he’s dating Marinette. Let’s talk about _that_ instead please.”

Gabriel nearly fell over. “Miss Dupain-Cheng is seeing someone?”

“Apparently she’s been dating Luka for two weeks now,” Adrien sighed.

“When did she tell you?” Gabriel demanded. “Why didn’t you mention this before?”

“I found out about an hour and a half ago from Luka while we were dancing. He thought I knew. I didn’t. Now I do. It kind of sucked because this really nice, attractive guy has been paying attention to me and making me feel good about myself for the past hour, and then he goes and says that he’s dating my girlfriend, but he’s so freaking wonderful that how the heck can I even be mad at him?” Adrien rattled off. “He obviously doesn’t know about Marinette and me from the way he was acting, so, apparently, I’m not the only one she has communication issues with.”

“What happened after you found out?” Gabriel prompted carefully, not needing his Miraculous to sense that Plagg was indeed correct and that another meltdown would be coming on presently.

“I made my excuses and calmly walked away to find somewhere I could be alone.” Adrien shrugged, all of his earlier animation draining out of him. “Then  _someone_ went to go get Marinette because they were afraid I was going to throw myself over the side of the ship and drown.”

Gabriel flinched. “Was…this concern unfounded?”

Adrien bit his lip. “Yes and no. The Seine is filthy. I know because I’ve been thrown into it on several different occasions, and I would never voluntarily jump in without good reason. If I were going to drown myself, I’d do it at the Bois de Boulogne.”

Gabriel’s heart sank as he realized, “You’ve thought about this.”

Adrien averted his gaze. “I wasn’t kidding when I told you I needed a therapist. …So…tonight, I was in a pretty bad place, and it’s probably for the best that Plagg got Marinette for me to talk to.”

“What did she say?” Gabriel didn’t really want to know. He genuinely liked Marinette, but it was difficult to keep liking her when she kept putting his son’s heart through the shredder.

Adrien shrugged again, slumping against the banister. “A lot of things. We talked for a long time about a lot of things that we should have spread over the years. It was all stuff that we needed to talk about at some point. Some of it really helped. Some of it made me feel worse than ever. We screamed at each other and then kind of made up, but then we yelled at each other some more and then sort of reconciled again. I think we both had some really good points, but we both spouted a lot of utter stupidity too.”

Adrien looked up at his father, not bothering to wipe away the tears slowly trickling down his cheeks. “I still love her madly, but tonight made me think that maybe I shouldn’t worship her so much. Yeah, she’s brilliant, and she works actual miracles, but she also makes mistakes and does really stupid stuff. Tonight, I thought, ‘God, she’s dumb. Like how does someone screw something up this badly?’ But then I kind of felt better because…I’m not the only screwup.” He scuffed thoughtfully at the marble floor with the toe of his dress shoe.

Gabriel tentatively rested a supportive hand on Adrien’s shoulder.

Adrien took a deep breath and continued, “I realized that she’s not unshakeable. She’s not infallible. She’s really messed up too; she just did a good job of covering it up. She doesn’t know what she’s doing all the time, and she doesn’t get it right every time either. Maybe…” He licked his lips nervously. “…she’s not so much better than I am after all. I think that’s…good…because that means she’s not as out of my league as I thought. She’s not unattainable…but…that’s bad because we’re stuck in this mess, and maybe she doesn’t know how to fix it either. I always count on her to make everything right again after I break something, but…maybe she can’t. Maybe I have to fix it myself, and that’s…scary. But I’m rambling. Am I making any sense?”

Adrien looked up searchingly at Gabriel for guidance.

Gabriel stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his son, pulling Adrien in tight. “You’re making a lot of sense. It sounds like it was good that you two talked, even if it was upsetting.”

Adrien crumpled into his father’s embrace, trembling as the tears started to come faster and more urgently. “She doesn’t love me.”

“You don’t know that,” Gabriel soothed as best as he could. He always felt so under water when it came to dealing with emotions. “Miss Dupain-Cheng cares about you a great deal; even I can tell…. Did she tell you that she doesn’t love you?”

Adrien nodded into Gabriel’s shoulder. “She said that she loves me as a friend but that she doesn’t think she knows what it means to love someone romantically the way that I love her. Before…she told me that she loved me, but today she said that she didn’t mean the same thing that I’d meant when I’d told her I loved her. I thought things were going to be okay because we were both on the same page with how we felt about one another, but… How can she not know what it means to love someone romantically? She sounded sincere, but…do you think she was just saying that to let me down gently because she’d changed her mind?”

Internally, Gabriel cursed. What did one say in situations like this? The guidebooks had not expressly dealt with these circumstances, and Gabriel was not confident in his ability to adapt advice for other situations to fit his own extemporaneously.

Gabriel was on his own.

“I think…it’s not very common for people your age to love as maturely as you do, Adrien.” Gabriel made his best attempt. “Honestly, when you told me you were in love a little over a month ago, I was shocked to hear you describe true love as taking care of sick children together and picking out shades of paint for a house and dealing with morning sickness. I don’t think most people your age really consider the quotidian minutia of sharing a life with someone when they say the word ‘love’. I think, at your age, ‘love’ means the euphoria of physical attraction and physical affection coupled with an emotional fondness. I am sure there are some exceptions, like yourself, but I would be willing to believe that Miss Dupain-Cheng was telling the truth when she said that she hadn’t meant the same things you did when you told one another that you loved each other.”

Gabriel bit his lip as he hesitantly added, “I’m sorry. I don’t know if that makes things better or worse.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien sniffled. “It hurts, but…at least she wasn’t lying to me…ostensibly.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Gabriel offered.

Adrien shrugged weakly. “I don’t even know. I’m so tired. I don’t… Everything’s still a blur. It’s all running together.”

“Do you want to go to sleep?” Gabriel tried. “Do you need me to sit up with you?”

Adrien shook his head. “I don’t know what I want. It’s all… Dad, I think I lost her.”

Gabriel was tempted to tell his son not to give up, but he was afraid of giving Adrien false hope. “Why do you say that?”

“Because she doesn’t love me,” Adrien mumbled hollowly. “She didn’t promise me a relationship after she gets her thoughts and feelings straight. She told me not to wait for her, and it sounds like she’s not waiting for me. It’s like all the bonds that were keeping us together have been broken. And now she’s dating Luka, and she’s going to fall in love with him.”

Gabriel squeezed Adrien tighter. “I could…I’m not sure. There has to be something nefarious I could do to keep them apart with as much money as I have. I could bribe someone or have someone dig up something on his mother or—”

“—Dad?” Adrien sighed, pulling back to look up into Gabriel’s eyes. “Thanks, but don’t. Luka’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserve to have anything bad happen to him just because he stepped on some rich brat’s toes. I wish I could hate him and blame him for everything, but I can’t. I like him…and I want Marinette to be happy, even if I kind of hate her right now. If Luka takes care of her half as well as he took care of me, I’m glad that she has someone like that in her life. I’m just…kind of wrecked over the fact that it isn’t me.”

Gabriel deflated. “…That’s very mature of you.”

Adrien shrugged. “I’ve thrown enough jealous, petulant fits over the years that I’ve picked up on the fact that nothing good ever comes of them. I don’t know if resignation to misery is necessarily any better, but I’m too tired to fight this right now.”

Gabriel frowned sympathetically. “There’s nothing I can do to make this better, is there?”

Adrien shook his head, stepping back out of his father’s hold. “No. I think things are just going to suck for a long time…. I’m going to jump in the shower and head to bed. I’m probably not getting out of bed tomorrow. We’ll see about Monday, but I’m not optimistic. I’ll go to my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday, though.”

“Shouldn’t we see if we can’t get you in sooner?” Gabriel wondered. “You seem fairly…lucid, I suppose, right now, but…this calm feels untenable.”

Adrien shook his head. “I need some time to process things before I can talk about them. I don’t really want to deal with people right now.” To accentuate his point, Adrien pulled out his phone and held it out to his father. “Could you take this? I turned it off because Nino’s kind of blowing it up. I don’t want to talk to him.”

Gabriel pocketed the phone. “Did Monsieur Lahiffe do something wrong in particular, or are you just avoiding people in general?”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone…but, yeah, I’m kind of upset with Nino. I’m trying not to be, but…he knew about Luka and didn’t tell me,” Adrien grumbled, kicking at the floor. “Apparently, they were trying to decide who was going to do it and how they wanted to do it, but…I mean, a best friend tells you stuff like that right away, right? I know he probably thought he was doing the right thing by waiting, but…” He shook his head. “I’ve decided that I’m mad at him. If he shows up here tomorrow, I’m not home. I’ll talk to him again on Wednesday. Maybe.”

“All right,” Gabriel easily agreed. “I’ll let the others know he’s blacklisted. Is there anything else?”

Adrien bit his lip and twisted his ring nervously around his finger. “I actually have a pretty big favor to ask.”

“Of course,” Gabriel assured. “What is it?”

Adrien slid the Miraculous off of his finger and held it out to his father. “I need you to hold onto this for me.”

Gabriel’s eyes went wide, and he took a step back, shaking his head.

Adrien took a step forward. “I’m not giving it to you. It’s still mine. I just need you to hold onto the physical vessel for now. I’m in pretty bad shape. I can feel my composure cracking, and I don’t see how I can avoid being akumatized this time. When that happens, I can’t be wearing the ring. I need you to keep Plagg safe for me. Please, Dad.” Fresh tears welled up and spilled down Adrien’s cheeks. “I would never be able to forgive myself if Papillon got his hands on Plagg. I need you to protect him until Ladybug can get here, okay?”

Gabriel pulled Adrien back into his chest and squeezed hard. He was too choked up himself to say a word. He held Adrien for a long time before pulling back and tentatively accepting the ring.

“Don’t worry about Plagg. I won’t let anything happen to him…to either of you,” Gabriel swore. “You just worry about yourself for now. Go to sleep, Adrien. Come and get me if you need anything during the night. Or send Plagg or use the landline in your room to call me. If you need anything at all, all right?”

Adrien nodded, clapping his father on the arm. “Thanks, Dad.” He turned and slowly trudged up the stairs. He paused at the top. “And thank you for letting me go to the party. Yeah, parts of it really sucked, but I had a lot of fun too. I was glad I got to go, so thanks for trusting me.”

Gabriel nodded, voice stuck in his throat. He wished the _whole_ party had gone better. He watched Adrien disappear into his room and then looked down at the ring in his palm.

“Funny,” Gabriel whispered, slipping it onto his finger. “I worked so long and fought so hard for this. Now, I don’t want it.”

“Life is ironic,” Plagg snorted.

“You should go with Adrien,” Gabriel urged.

Plagg shook his head. “Give him a moment of privacy. I’ll go in there in a sec to make sure he doesn’t space out and accidentally drown in the shower, but, for now, let’s give him a few minutes alone.”

Gabriel sighed, looking up in concern at Adrien’s door. “…Anything else I should know about what happened tonight?”

“He told you the important parts. I was concerned he was going to leave out the bits with Luka because you’re a little squeamish when it comes to romance between two guys,” Plagg mumbled.

“Is that why you bullied him into talking about it?” Gabriel wondered.

Plagg nodded. “I doubt there will ever be a relationship for you to worry about, but the kid really is drawn to that Luka guy. Maybe not right now, but eventually the kid might try to get closer to him. They’d make good friends, and Luka might prove to be a role model or confidant. I think it would be good for the kid to have Luka in his life, so I wanted you to know that there were feelings involved so you didn’t do or say anything to mess that up.”

“You could have explained it to me yourself later. You didn’t have to make Adrien talk to me about it when he obviously didn’t want to,” Gabriel scolded.

Plagg shook his head slowly. “Adrien needed to know that he could talk to you about guys he’s attracted to. He needed to know that you really meant it when you said you’d love him anyway if he were interested in other men. He’s in the middle of a crisis, and he needed to know that you had his back no matter what, especially when he’d just been let down by his close friends. He needed that conversation, even if he didn’t want to have it.”

Gabriel reflected silently for a moment. “…Well played, Plagg.”

“I get it right sometimes.” Plagg shrugged. “ _You_  got it right today.”

“I tried,” Gabriel snorted self-depreciatingly. “I don’t know that I was much help, and I still feel like it’s too little too late, but…he seems to appreciate that I’m trying.”

“He does,” Plagg assured. “He’s like a puppy. He forgives easily, and any kind of affection at all makes him ecstatic. He’s not hard to love…and you’re doing a lot better. I’m proud of you, Gabriel.”

Gabriel sighed. “Thank you, Plagg…. Will you go check on him now?”

“On it. I’ll keep you posted,” Plagg informed, flying up and through the bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’ll see you again on Wednesday, 07/17/2019.


	29. Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Couffaine siblings shrug at one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Happy Wednesday. Thank you for all the comments on last chapter! Thank you as well to those of you who left kudos and bookmarked the work. Welcome back for more.
> 
> Today's chapter was a little unexpected. When the random word generator gave me "sister", I thought, "What am I supposed to do with this?", but then Juleka tapped me on the shoulder and informed me that she needed to talk to her brother, so...
> 
> Happy reading? ^.^;

Luka tossed his tie onto the bed and was just starting to unbutton his shirt when a knock came at the cabin door.

“Come in?”

Juleka entered, raising a hand in greeting. With a little hop and a belly-flop, she landed on the bed.

Luka chuckled even as he arched an eyebrow. “What’s up, Jules? I was just about to sit down and write a song. I got some inspiration tonight, and some new music’s been twirling about in my mind. I want to pin it down before it Cinderellas away.”

Juleka rolled over onto her back, grabbing the tie and snapping it at him like a whip. “Does your Cinderella have blonde hair and green eyes?” she hummed mischievously.

With a sigh, Luka went to grab one of his guitars from its stand. He took a seat on the bed and started strumming experimentally until something low, seductive, and sensuous took shape, twisting around the notes like the gyrations of a belly dancer, inviting yet insistent.

“So…Adrien Agreste.” Juleka spoke up once more. “Not just eye candy after all?” She indicated the small poster of Adrien hanging amongst the band posters and personal pictures on the wall next to Luka’s bed.

Luka glanced up at the image. Adrien’s burgundy dress shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open. He had one hand on his waist, thumb gently tugging down his jeans and exposing the top band of his boxers. Adrien’s eyes positively smoldered, and the confident smirk sealed the deal. It was the first in a series of more mature poses that Gabriel had released for the previous year’s spring line.

Luka sighed. “I think this was a one-night-only deal. I’m guessing you saw us dancing?”

“Was that supposed to be dancing?” Juleka snickered patronizingly.

Luka rolled his eyes. “Like you don’t do the same thing with Rose.”

“Rose and I are in a committed, long-term relationship,” Juleka countered. “You’re just lucky your girlfriend didn’t see.”

Luka strummed a few notes, going back to the serpentine melody Adrien had put into his head. “I wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was just dancing. Just platonic flirting. We set mutually agreeable ground rules.”

“I would never dance like that with someone besides Rose,” Juleka snorted, flipping her raven hair out of her face. “And how can you platonically flirt with someone you’ve had a crush on for, like, four years? Does Marinette know you’re bi?”

Luka shrugged. “Hasn’t come up.”

“What if she had seen you?” Juleka pressed. “I can’t believe you’d risk things with Marinette after waiting so long to be with her for half an hour of physical gratification with that boy toy.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Luka groaned, setting aside the guitar to peer down at his sister. “When the guy you’ve had a crush on for a couple years blushes and looks up at you nervously and asks you to dance with him, what the hell do you do? There is only one answer to that question.”

“And it should have been, ‘Adrien, I have a girlfriend.’” Juleka’s amber eyes pierced him with their accusations.

“I reminded him of my relationship status when we set the platonic ground rules,” Luka offered, sticking to his guns despite knowing he wasn’t exactly in the right.

Juleka shook her head, pushing herself up to sitting with her back against the wall. “You lied. You were lying to Marinette, to Adrien, and to yourself pretending there was anything platonic about the way you danced with him.”

Luka put his hands up in surrender and went back to his guitar. “Guilty,” he whispered.

They fell silent as Luka returned to his tantalizing tune, expanding upon the twists and turns, remembering Adrien’s body against his own.

“As much as I don’t want you to be with Marinette because she’s going to hurt you, I don’t know if Adrien is any better,” Juleka sighed, flexing and pointing her toes. “There have been a lot of rumors going around about him these past few months.”

Luka clicked his tongue. “Who’s been spreading rumors? You know better than to gossip, Jules.”

She shrugged. “Lila’s the gossip monger in the class. The whole school talks about him, though. He makes it easy.”

“Don’t you guys have better things to discuss?” Luka sniffed, disappointed.

Juleka rolled her eyes. “It’s not the only thing we talk about. We do have lives, you know…. It’s just…he’s been kind of AWOL these past few months. Before, he used to hang out with everyone whenever his father let him, but a couple months ago he started saying that he had plans with his girlfriend. That was fine at first, but he had plans with his girlfriend _all the time_ , and when people would see him with a girl, it would always be a different one. Mylène asked Alya, and Alya said that Adrien was a slut and that he was going out with all these older girls. No one knows how many or which ones he was sleeping with, but…he’d been kind of weird and quiet up to that point. I mean, he was nice whenever he did get to hang out with other people, but all of the sudden he was acting like some rich playboy, and he couldn’t be bothered to make time for the rest of us.”

“I mean, I don’t know him well, but from the time that I’ve spent with him, that doesn’t sound like Adrien,” Luka hummed thoughtfully. “Did anyone ask _him_ about what was going on?”

Juleka shrugged. “No one really got the chance to talk to him. He ran off right after school either for extra curriculars or girlfriends, and during lunch and before school he was always with Alya, Nino, and Marinette. He couldn’t be bothered with anybody else.”

“So…you’re worried that Adrien is some philandering Casanova who’s going to break my heart?” Luka guessed. “Is that your concern?”

Juleka shook her head and shrugged again. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to be concerned about because the guy’s been such a flake these past few months. After dating all those girls, he seemed to be dating some redhead for a while, and then he dated the girl Kim was in love with for, like, a week, and it sounds like he royally screwed her over, and then Adrien turned into a total ghost. Like, he comes into class seconds before the bell, and as soon as class lets out, he disappears. He doesn’t come down to the lunchroom to eat with us, and as soon as school ends for the day, he’s gone. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with that kid, but I don’t think I want my brother involved.”

Luka pursed his lips. “Huh.” He tried to reconcile what he’d heard from his sister with what he had observed of Adrien that evening. “Had anyone considered that he might be going through an emotional crisis and be in need of a friend?”

Juleka drew her knees up to her chest. “Last I heard, the prevailing theory was drugs. Don’t get me wrong, we all _liked_ Adrien, but none of us was really close to him. He’s not an easy person to get close to.”

“Did anyone try?” Luka challenged.

Juleka shook her head. “We tried a few years ago. With his schedule, he doesn’t have a lot of time for close friendships. Recently…well, no one really wants to get caught up in whatever’s going down with him. We all have our own crap to deal with.”

Luka winced, remembering the look of confusion on Adrien’s face as Adrien asked Luka earnestly why Luka would want to be his friend.

Kids were so stupid and self-centered at that age…not that Luka could claim the high ground only two years ahead of them, but…

“It sounds to me like he was drowning and needed someone to pull him out,” Luka muttered as the chords slowly dipped into the minor key.

“That’s what he has Nino and Alya for.” Juleka mumbled.

“And Marinette,” Luka added.

Juleka pushed her hair out of the way to stare at her brother in confusion. “Well, yeah. _Before_ , I guess.”

Luka set aside his guitar to frown at his sister. “Before what?”

Juleka shrugged. “Before whatever went down between them a month ago.”

The hair on the back of Luka’s neck stood up. “What…happened between Adrien and Marinette a month ago?”

Juleka shrugged harder. “No one knows exactly. Nino, Alya, and Marinette won’t talk about it, and, like I said, no one can catch Adrien to talk to him, so…” The crease in Juleka’s brow deepened. “I thought your girlfriend would have mentioned it. Marinette hasn’t said anything about why she and Adrien aren’t talking?”

“They’re not talking,” Luka repeated uncomprehendingly, testing each word on his tongue, tasting it for meaning. “Since when are Marinette and Adrien not talking? The way Marinette talks about him, it sounds like they’re best friends.”

Juleka shook her head slowly, crossing her legs so that they were stacked one on top of the other in fire log pose. “Maybe a month or a little bit longer? They’re all weird around each other.”

Suddenly the room felt unnaturally cold. “How sure are you about this? The way Adrien was talking, everything between them was fine. Like, they’d just talked. He said she’d showed him the new designs she’d just come up with over the weekend, and she’d told him about our date on Tuesday, and she invited him to her graduation party tomorrow. He…”

He had been acting extremely off those last five minutes they’d been together. Luka had felt that something was wrong. The way Adrien had been talking fast, nervously, and the panic attack coming out of nowhere while they were slow dancing…while they were talking about Marinette. After Luka had said he was there with Marinette. After Adrien…had seemed surprised to hear that Luka and Marinette were dating.

Luka winced. “Oh, no. Jules, how sure are you that there’s something wrong between Adrien and Marinette?”

Juleka could only shrug. “About a month ago, there was a rumor that some girl had left Adrien crying on a park bench. A week ago, people started saying that it was _Marinette_.”

Suddenly Luka remembered what Adrien had said about having an emotional breakdown and having his heart crushed. It all lined up.

“I don’t know if that’s true or not,” Juleka continued, “but all Marinette will say is to leave Adrien alone and that he didn’t do anything wrong. She almost ripped Mylène’s head off for saying something about Adrien, and that got Ivan involved, and—”

“—Adrien is the other guy,” Luka gasped in realization. “Adrien is the guy that Marinette meant when she told me that she was still stuck on someone else, isn’t he?”

Juleka stared at her brother blankly, unimpressed. “Luka, don’t play stupid. You _knew_ Adrien was the guy she meant.”

“I _suspected_ ,” Luka corrected. “I did not know. Adrien was one of the possible suspects, and I knew they were doing the will-we-won’t-we thing when I first met them, but…I didn’t want to assume. Marinette didn’t name names, and I…” He shrugged impotently.

Juleka shook her head slowly in reproof. “With Marinette, it has only ever been Adrien.”

“And yet she somehow was the one to break his heart?” Luka muttered, trying but failing to comprehend. “…Did he know I was dating Marinette? Did she tell him?”

Juleka could only give her brother the nth shrug of the night.

“Shit,” Luka hissed, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand. “He couldn’t have known. There is no way he could have been so friendly with the guy who was dating the girl he liked. And I just sprung it on him like that. No wonder he freaked. _Shit_.”

He opened his latest text conversation with Marinette and typed, “we need to TALK re: adrien”. He followed that up with, “does anyone know if he made it home ok”.

“Who are you texting?” Juleka inquired, transitioning back down onto her stomach.

“Marinette,” Luka grumbled, glaring at his screen.

“Are you going to break up with her?” Juleka hummed in interest.

Luka looked up with a puzzled frown. “Why would I break up with her?”

Juleka rolled her eyes. “She’s in love with Adrien and conveniently left that part out?”

Luka matched his sister’s eyeroll. “She _told_ me she was stuck on someone and asked if I still wanted to date her. I’m the one who said yes. She didn’t want to talk about the other guy; I respected her privacy and the fact that I don’t have a right to her past, even if I am her present. Our relationship is two weeks old. There are things I haven’t told _her_ yet.”

Juleka averted her gaze with a silent pout.

“I’m worried about Adrien.” Luka blew out a frustrated sigh, falling back onto the bed beside his sister. “I shouldn’t have let him go off by himself when I could tell that something wasn’t right. Though, I was probably the last person he wanted to be around in that moment, but…”

Luka stared up at his phone, willing it to buzz with good news. He contemplated texting Adrien himself—he still had the number from when he’d given Adrien guitar lessons, provided the number hadn’t changed in two years—but he didn’t think Adrien wanted to hear from him, given the situation, even if Luka was only trying to determine if Adrien was safe.

“meet pont des arts tomorrow ten?” greeted Luka instead. Marinette then added, “alya saw him get in his car” and “ninos trying to reach him”.

Luka turned his head to glance at his sister. “Do you have Nino’s number?”

Juleka dug out her phone and opened up her contacts. “Maybe from a project or something? …Here.” Juleka handed the mobile over.

Luka typed the number into his own phone and hit dial, getting up to pace as he waited for Nino to pick up. He wasn’t kept waiting long.

“Adrien?” Nino asked frantically.

“Luka,” Luka sighed. “Have you heard anything from him?”

“He’s not answering,” Nino blew out a long, anxious breath. “I’m on my way to his house.”

“Shit,” Luka repeated for emphasis, running a hand roughly through his hair and pulling.

“Tell me about it,” Nino grumbled.

Luka could hear Nino’s feet slapping the pavement in the background.

“…So whose idea was it not to tell me about the Marinette-Adrien minefield situation? That would have been useful knowledge,” Luka hissed, taking his frustration out on Nino. “Better yet, whose idea was it not to tell Adrien?”

“Dude,” Nino growled, “talk to your girlfriend…. But maybe not tonight. She’s kind of rough. Alya said she and Adrien had a ‘confrontation’ after Adrien ran into you.”

The anger and annoyance quickly drained from Luka. He stopped pacing. “Is Marinette okay?”

Nino shook his head and sighed. “No freaking idea. She’s pretending she’s okay, but she doesn’t want to talk to Alya about it, so… Listen, Mec. It’s gonna be a long night for me. After I lay siege to the Agreste Mansion to make sure Adrien’s okay, I’m headed to Marinette’s. Can you sit tight, and I’ll text you as soon as I know something?”

“Yeah,” Luka whispered, suddenly exhausted. “That would be great. Thanks, Nino. Just…text me as soon as you know he made it home safe…and if Marinette needs me.”

“All right. I—Hold on. I just got a text.”

Luka heard Nino’s footsteps slow to a stop as Nino looked down at his screen and muttered under his breath, “Monsieur Lahiffe, thank you for your concern. Adrien has retired for the evening and will contact you at a later date.”

Nino snorted and was suddenly back with Luka. “The text was from one of Adrien’s parentals. It looks like he went to bed and dropped his phone off with them. Part of me wants to break into his room and see for myself that he’s okay, but…I guess I’ll let him sleep for now and check in first thing tomorrow. I’m gonna head over to Marinette’s and relieve Alya. Was there anything else you needed, Luka?”

“No,” Luka sighed again. “Thank you, Nino. Sorry to bug you.”

With a shrug, Nino turned around, headed back towards the bakery. “No big, Dude,” he assured. “Night.”

“Night,” Luka mumbled, letting the phone drop to his side as he trudged back over to sit on the bed.

Juleka frowned interrogatively.

“Apparently Marinette and Adrien had some sort of ‘confrontation’,” Luka explained. “Adrien is at home, and Marinette’s with friends.”

Juleka nodded slowly. “And you’re sure that this is something that you want to be involved with? These two?”

Luka picked his guitar up and resumed strumming thoughtfully.

“…Why can’t you get back together with that guy you were dating a couple months ago?” Juleka groaned. “He was nice and stable.”

“Baptiste realized he likes girls,” Luka reported without missing a beat.

“And the girl you were with before that? The art student?” Juleka tried.

“Claire also realized that she likes girls,” Luka snickered, amused. “Apparently I have that effect on people.”

Juleka pursed her lips, listening to the new tune Luka had started on. It sounded like loneliness and rivers and moonlight. It didn’t sound like Luka’s personal melancholy, though.

“I’m worried about you,” Juleka muttered.

“Don’t be,” Luka stressed. “I’ve survived breakups and messy relationships before. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m durable, Jules…and…Marinette and Adrien have always been my biggest what-ifs. My crushes on them don’t ever seem to go away, even when I don’t see much of them for months and months. Maybe this is good.”

“How can this be good? This looks like a train wreck,” Juleka grumbled.

“Maybe it does go down in flames,” Luka replied with a nonchalant dispassion. “But then I can stop what-ifing myself and maybe move on and find the person I’m supposed to be with. Things aren’t inherently good or bad, Jules; they’re just experiences. You have to work to find the good in things. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

“Forgive me for being a pessimist,” Juleka scoffed, sitting up and pulling out her phone. “…Are you and Marinette going to talk about Adrien?”

Luka nodded. “Tomorrow at ten, before her graduation party.”

“Are you going to tell her about _your_ feelings for Adrien?” Juleka pressed. “Marinette is my friend, and what you did tonight made me really uncomfortable. You’re my brother, and I don’t want to rat you out, but if something like this happens again…”

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb?” Luka mused. “It’s okay if that’s what you decide.”

“Just don’t cheat on Marinette, okay?” Juleka huffed, piling her hair on top of her head and then letting it fall.

“I wouldn’t cheat on Marinette,” Luka assured, finally looking up from his guitar and meeting his sister’s eyes. “What happened tonight with Adrien was a fluke. He probably hates me now, so don’t worry about it.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Juleka muttered down at her phone, scrolling through the pictures she had taken at the party. “He looked pretty into you. I was surprised because I thought he was totally straight, but…what if he _doesn’t_ hate you?”

Luka quirked an eyebrow.

Juleka held up her phone.

The bottom fell out of his stomach, and his face blanched.

As he flipped through the pictures, studying the images of Adrien and himself, his entire body felt warm. He bit down softly on his bottom lip.

“Where are your hands in this one?” Juleka chuckled.

Somewhere they shouldn’t be.

“J-Just on his thighs.”

“And where are _his_ hands in _this_ one?” Juleka hummed, arching an eyebrow in suspicion.

In Luka’s back pockets.

Luka’s face flushed. “At the small of my back. Juleka, you need to erase these. These shouldn’t exist.”

Shaking her head, Juleka swiped her phone back.

“You can’t just take pictures of people without their consent like this. Adrien’s father could sue you,” Luka hissed, trying to snatch back the mobile.

Juleka rolled her eyes, stuffing the phone down the front of her top. “Isn’t that just if I publish them? These are staying on my phone unless I see fit to send them to Marinette as evidence.”

“Juleka,” Luka warned. “Don’t. No one can see those. Erase them now.”

“Nope.” She let the syllable go with a petulant pop.

“Erase them, or I’m going to tell Mom that you’re sleeping with Rose,” Luka threatened.

Juleka stared at him, unimpressed. “Luc, I talked to Mom about it _before_ I started sleeping with Rose. If you think you can bully or blackmail me into deleting those pictures, you’re wrong. The only way you can save your own hide is by not cheating on Marinette again.”

Luka forced himself to take a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair and slowly let it out. “Jules, this isn’t about me.”

She gave him a dubious look as she waited for him to elaborate.

“This is about Adrien. Look, you and I, in the grand scheme of things, we’re nobodies. Very few people care whom we’re sleeping with. The populous at large doesn’t care if we date boys or girls or what. It’s not like that for Adrien,” Luka explained patiently but emphatically, trying to get his point across. “Say you send those photos to Marinette. What if she sends them to Alya? What if Alya sends them to one or two other people? What if people start talking about this? You said there were already rumors going around about Adrien. What if someone gets their hands on these photos and posts them online? There’s no going back from there. Sure, you only meant to send them to one person, but stuff like this has a way of getting out of hand quickly.”

Juleka averted her eyes, looking down at the bedspread as Luka made his case.

“Adrien is _internationally_ famous. Sure, it’s not rare for a male model to be gay or bi, but something tells me that Adrien’s father isn’t an open-minded guy, and I doubt this is how Adrien would want his father to find out…if he ever intends to tell his father at all…if this is actually even a thing,” Luka sighed. “Jules, Adrien is going through a rough time right now. He just got his heart broken, and he was a little tipsy tonight. When he asked me to dance…he was so nervous. I didn’t get the impression he had ever flirted with a guy before. When I said that I had thought he was straight, he said that he thought he was. Obviously, he’s still questioning and trying to figure himself out, and what happened with me was an experiment. Do you really want to risk burning him like this the first time he tests the waters?”

Juleka’s shoulders slowly squeezed up to meet her ears.

“I mean, you remember what it was like when you first started to think you had romantic feelings for Rose,” Luka pushed. “You remember how scared and confused you were, and that was even after I had come out as bi two years before and you already knew you had a loving, supportive family. Can you even imagine what it must be like for Adrien trying to figure himself out with the media always breathing down his neck waiting to jump on him for every little thing? Can you imagine going through what you went through without your family’s support? Because I’m not convinced that Adrien really has anyone backing him through this.”

Luka took a deep breath, the urgency leaving his voice. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to hate me now that he knows about me and Marinette, but…on the off chance that he doesn’t, I’d like to be there to support him. If he does decide he’s bi, I want to make things easier on him than they were on me. If you’ll remember, I didn’t have any gay or bi role models or mentors to help me and answer questions when I was figuring out who I was. If he doesn’t hate me, I’d like to be there for him as a friend.”

Juleka took her phone out of her top and tossed it on the bed beside Luka. “Look through and see if there are any you want to save for yourself as a kind of souvenir from your ‘one-night stand’ with Adrien Agreste before you delete them.”

Luka picked up the phone and slowly scrolled through, committing each one to memory. He selected only one, the most innocent, and forwarded it to himself.

Adrien had one hand on Luka’s shoulder while Luka’s left hand rested lightly on Adrien’s hip. Luka was smiling fondly as Adrien began to laugh, his mouth open in a wide, toothy grin, his eyes beginning to scrunch up cutely. It didn’t necessarily have to be romantic. It could just as easily have been two friends sharing an inside joke. Only Luka knew what he’d said to make Adrien laugh like that.

Luka deleted the rest and then cleared them out of Juleka’s recently deleted bin before handing his sister her phone back with a solemn, “Thanks, Jules.”

With the final shrug of the night, Juleka got to her feet and headed for the door. “He was always such a cupcake before whatever happened five months ago,” she muttered as she went. “He doesn’t deserve bad things to happen to him.”

She paused in the doorway, looking back over her shoulder. “Behave, Luc. Prove me wrong and be happy with Marinette, okay?”

“Doing my best,” Luka assured.

The door closed behind Juleka, and Luka was left alone with his thoughts. He fiddled around on his guitar for another half hour before he finally turned in for the night.

Sleep eluded him.

He tossed and he turned, and when he eventually managed to drift off, smiles, laughter, the warmth of another body, the secondhand smell of bakery, and two distinct pairs of eyes: one green and one blue haunted his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was interesting (for me at least writing these two). I hope it was interesting to read as well. What do you think of the characterizations? I went back and rewatched Reflekta to try to get a handle on Juleka's character, but I don't know that it helped. ^.^; Juleka is the other character (besides Plagg) that I have to listen to really closely because I have trouble understanding when she speaks. I also think rewatching didn't help because I imagine she acts differently when she's alone with Rose or her family, so the persona she displays in the show wouldn't necessarily be the same person she is when she's at home. I extrapolated a bit, so this is my educated guess at her character.
> 
> Pronunciation note: I had intended for "Jules" to be pronounced the French way, so not like "jewels" but like "Jules Verne".
> 
> Thoughts on Luka? I was actually a little surprised that no one expressed concern about Luka cheating on Marinette at the party. He's a little emotionally compromised when it comes to Adrien and Marinette, but he means well. I don't recall if we're told in canon how much older he is than the gang, so I've made him two years Juleka's senior. He's about twenty here.
> 
> Question: Do normal people use "re:", or is that just a legal thing? In the legal profession, we use "re:" or "in re:" as shorthand for "regarding" or "in regards to". 
> 
> Thank you for reading, everyone. I'll see you again on Friday, 07/19/2019!


	30. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino lays siege to the Agreste Manor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Lovelies! Two words: Bloody. Hell. I am currently in toxic tort hell. ^.^ National Coordinating Counsel wants dates of exposure in all three hundred plus of our cases by Wednesday. This is not a reasonable request, and I think they know that. Regardless, my team is just going to do the best that we can...considering we’re currently a member down. :/
> 
> Anyway, because I am going to be semi-living out of my office until the end of this project, there will not be updates next week. I will see you again on Monday, 07/29/2019.
> 
> Until then, your support, comments, kudos, and bookmarks are sincerely appreciated. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“You should eat something,” Plagg advised as he jumped around on the piano, picking out the notes to O Mio Babbino Caro.

“I’m sleeping,” Adrien grumbled, rolling over onto his stomach.

“You’re moping,” Plagg snorted.

“I have every right to mope. Last night was one of the worst nights of my life. …Do you have to play that song?” Adrien groaned. “It’s depressing.”

“It’s a beautiful song,” Plagg countered. “What’s wrong with it?”

Adrien sat up and sang along, “…ma per buttarmi in Arno.”

Plagg stopped playing. “…Are those the lyrics?”

“Yep,” Adrien snorted. “A little ironic, don’t you think? Especially considering your concerns about me throwing myself into the _Seine_ just last night over a broken heart. The Seine, the Arno. Same difference, really. Keep playing. I’ll sing you the rest.”

Plagg reluctantly obliged.

“Mi struggo e mi tormento!” Adrien crooned, dropping the notes down into the tenor range.

Even in the lower register, the sharpness of the pain and torment was visceral. Plagg could tell Adrien felt every word.

“O Dio, vorrei morir,” Adrien sang so that the notes wept.

“Okay, no.” Plagg quit abruptly, flying over to nuzzle Adrien for all he was worth. “Stop that. Stop wishing you could die. Bad song choice. Bad song choice.” He zipped down to tickle Adrien’s ribs.

Adrien burst out laughing and fell over backwards in bed. “S-St-Stop!” he shrieked as he tried to roll away from the onslaught. “Mer-cy!” he cackled.

Eventually, Plagg stopped and floated up to look Adrien right in the eye. “Kid, I love you so much. You know that, right?”

A touched smile curled onto Adrien’s lips, succeeding in making it all the way to his eyes. “Yeah.” He reached up to scratch underneath Plagg’s chin. “I know, Plagg. I love you too.”

Plagg landed on Adrien’s cheek and gave it a sloppy lick, ignoring the salty taste of dried tears. “Good. Glad that that’s settled. Now, let’s play something happy!” He soared back over to the piano. “What do you want to hear?”

“Whatever you want to play, Plagg, I’m sure it will be wonderful,” Adrien assured, settling back under the covers.

“Come on. Let’s have a request,” Plagg prompted, trying to keep the boy engaged so that he didn’t slip back into his melancholy.

“Habanera from Carmen,” Adrien mumbled into his pillow.

Plagg pursed his lips. “…That’s not a happy song.”

“Hooked on a Feeling,” Adrien proposed instead, having no skin in the game.

“…No. No love songs,” Plagg sighed, sinking down to sit on middle C.

“Javert’s Soliloquy from Les Misérables.” Adrien returned the sigh with interest.

Plagg banged his head against the keys. “Aaaaand we’re back to jumping into rivers. Tell you what. How about we put your sound system to use and go back to listening to Shake It on repeat until you’re fed up enough to get out of bed and eat?”

“Noooooo!” Adrien whined, picking up Plagg’s pillow and tossing it indiscriminately. “I’d rather jump into the Seine than listen to Metro Station.”

“Then you had better—”

Plagg was cut off by a knock at the window.

There was a beat.

“…Was that a bird running into my window?” Adrien wondered, coming out from underneath the covers.

“…A turtle,” Plagg observed.

“The hell?” Adrien sat up to find Carapace waving at him from the other side of the glass.

“The hell?” Adrien repeated as Carapace found the window pane that Adrien kept unlocked for Chat and hopped down into Adrien’s room.

“Detransformation,” Carapace muttered, leaving Nino to dart across the room to Adrien’s side. “Hey. Mec.” Nino kicked off his shoes and crawled across the bed to tackle Adrien. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Adrien’s hair, squeezing Adrien tight. “Adrien, I’m so sorry. That never should have happened.”

Despite himself, Adrien melted into the embrace and let his hand come to rest between Nino’s shoulder blades.

After a minute, Nino pulled back, letting Adrien sit up so that Nino could study him. “How are you doing?”

Adrien shook his head. “Since when does Maître Fu let you borrow Wayzz to sneak into people’s bedrooms?”

“Since I expressed frantic concern that Chat Noir was vulnerable to akumatization and since your father told me I wasn’t allowed to see you and that I was to leave the premises before he had security escort me. He said you didn’t want to see me,” Nino snorted.

“I told him to tell you that I wasn’t home,” Adrien sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You are currently on the list of people I will always love but don’t particularly like right now.”

Nino bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. “That’s fair.”

Adrien waited, but no further excuses or pleas for forgiveness followed.

Adrien arched an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to list all sorts of reasons why I should forgive you and why you were in the right?”

Nino shook his head. “No. You have every right to be mad at me. I’m not so sure myself that I got it right this time. I mean, I knew fallout from this was probably going to be bad, but… Look, Mec, I’m just here to make sure _you’re_ all right. _Us_ being all right comes second, so… What can I do? What do you need?”

Adrien pursed his lips and considered momentarily. “Could you please go get that pillow that I threw?”

Nino glanced about until he spotted it on the floor under the piano. “Sure.” With a shrug, he went to fetch it. On his way back to the bed, he noticed the pile of grey ash over by Adrien’s computer.

Nino stopped mid-step to gawk. “Dude. What happened to your desk chair? Did you Cataclysm it?”

Adrien smiled sheepishly. “Uh…accidentally, yes. The desk chair was collateral damage.”

Nino’s frown intensified. “What happened?”

Adrien rubbed at the back of his neck, shrugging and averting his eyes. “I may have been in the middle of Cataclysm-ing Ladybug in effigy in the form of all of my Ladybug merchandise when my father walked in and startled me, and I got the desk chair too.”

Nino’s mouth dropped open. “Holy crap. What did Gabe do when he found Chat Noir in your room?”

“Oh…” Adrien bit his lip. “So…about two months ago I might have actually… _told_ my dad about the whole Chat Noir thing?”

Adrien could feel Nino’s eyes boring into him.

Adrien met Nino’s gaze and rushed to explain, “It made sense at the time, and it’s worked out pretty well so far. I was kind of having an identity crisis moment, and having that conversation with my father is what led to us finally working on fixing our relationship. Maybe some of us have the luxury of not telling anyone, but I really needed my dad at that point, so I don’t regret telling him. If Ladybug has a problem with that, she’ll just have to get over it.”

Nino raised his hands in a placating gesture as he slowly drew nearer. “Mec, it’s okay, so calm down, all right? I think…I mean…She’d be a hypocrite for faulting you on this. I think you’re the only one who didn’t have someone who knew. Alya and I found out about each other when Ladybug didn’t have time to get us apart to deliver our Miraculouses separately, and I figured Ladybug out shortly after I became Carapace, so… I mean, Ladybug didn’t _tell_ anybody, I don’t think—she still hasn’t told Alya, for crying out loud—but I was able to be there for her because I knew. It’s only fair that you finally have people that know and can support you too.”

Adrien looked away, mumbling, “Nathalie totally figured me out a couple years ago, but…”

Nino sat back down on the bed and handed over the pillow. “So you accidentally Cataclysm-ed your desk chair?”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed, taking the pillow and smacking Nino lightly with it before tossing it once more. “Could you go get that please?”

Nino smiled wanly, getting back up. “Sure, Mec.”

“Last night, I was pretty sure I was going to get akumatized, so I gave my dad the ring to hold onto for me. Apparently, he could feel it through the ring when I transformed to take out my frustrations on inanimate objects, and he came to check on me, disturbing me in the middle of my destructive spree.”

Nino stooped to pick up the pillow a second time. He paused halfway up as something occurred to him. “How did you transform if your dad had your ring?”

“I didn’t relinquish ownership of the ring. I just gave him the physical ring to protect,” Adrien explained, accepting the pillow back from Nino. He gently hit Nino with said pillow before tossing it again. “One more time, please?” He smiled winningly.

Nino nodded. “As many times as we need to do this, Mec,” he assured, starting off after the pillow once more.

“You probably don’t know since you don’t get to keep your Miraculous for any real length of time, but there’s an instruction manual. If you read the manual, it talks about advanced techniques and stuff. It takes a lot of practice and concentration, but Black Cat holders can learn to Cataclysm multiple objects in one go or use Cataclysm multiple times before they have to detransform and recharge.”

Nino stopped at the foot of the bed to cock an eyebrow at Adrien. “How many Cataclysms can you do?”

Adrien looked away. “Only two or three. I’m still working on that. I poured most of my time and energy into mastering remote transformation and not necessarily needing to keep the ring physically on me to maintain transformation.”

“You can do that?” Nino breathed in awe.

Adrien nodded, a proud grin slipping onto his face.

“Can _Ladybug_ do that?” Nino wondered.

Adrien shrugged. “Yeah, but she doesn’t seem to be any good at it. I guess she’s working on other things? I mean, remote transformation was my first priority, but…I haven’t read _her_ instruction manual, so I don’t know what all she can do. Maybe she’s working on something that she deems more important, but…”

Nino’s brow creased. “Have you two talked about this?”

Adrien shook his head. “Oddly enough, it’s difficult to have complex conversations while you’re in the middle of a fight, and it’s not like she ever sticks around to talk to me long afterwards because of her timer. We chat sometimes when we meet up by chance while we’re both out in costume, but…when we do meet up, strategy isn’t the first thing on my mind, honestly.”

Nino made a mental note to ask Marinette if she had ever read her instruction manual.

He sat back down on the bed and handed over the pillow, prepared to be pummeled.

The third blow was as gentle as the others had been.

“I’m mad at you,” Adrien announced.

Nino nodded. “Okay.”

Adrien smacked him with the pillow again. “Like, what the hell? Are we or are we not best friends?”

“We are,” Nino confirmed.

“And yet you just let me walk right into that?” Adrien snorted, shoving the pillow into Nino’s hands as he picked up the other pillow for himself.

“I did,” Nino sighed.

“You suck,” Adrien pouted.

“Yeah,” Nino mumbled.

Adrien’s eyes narrowed into a glare as he raised his pillow over his head. “Fight back,” he commanded, bringing his pillow down.

For the next four minutes, a pillow fight ensued, eventually deteriorating into a wrestling match.

Adrien got the upper hand, pinning Nino and trapping his arms above his head. “You still let me win,” he grumbled, letting Nino’s arms go.

“You underestimate your own strength,” Nino laughed a little breathlessly.

Adrien sat back on his haunches, gazing sullenly down at his friend. “I’m not very good at staying mad at people. I mean, it even took me a little bit to decide that I was mad at you in the first place, and then you come here with your grand gesture, breaking into my room with your Romeo balcony act, and…I don’t want to be mad at you, Nino. I’m so freaking tired.”

“Hey,” Nino sighed, taking Adrien by the hips and gently flipping him over so that they were lying side by side. Nino propped himself up on his elbow and frowned lightly in concern down at Adrien. “You’re okay. Just…feel whatever you’re feeling, and that’s okay. Don’t try to make yourself feel any differently.”

“I’m disappointed in myself because my therapist is always telling me how important it is not to let people walk all over me, and yet…” Adrien closed his eyes. “Honestly, the most I can manage to feel is hurt.”

“Because your dad taught you that you weren’t allowed to get angry, so instead of blowing up at others, you turn whatever you’re feeling in on yourself.” Nino gingerly began to rub slow, soothing circles along Adrien’s scalp. “It’s okay, Mec.”

“It doesn’t feel okay,” Adrien mumbled. “You should have told me. If there have to be sides like this, you’re supposed to be on mine. You shouldn’t have let me go out there blind and make a fool of myself in front of Luka. He probably thinks I’m a total spazz now.” Adrien opened his eyes to pout at Nino. “There’s no way he’s going to want to be my friend after this.”

Nino blinked as he tried to wrap his head around Adrien’s words. “We don’t… _hate_ Luka now?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “No. I mean…” A rosy blush crept up into the apples of his cheeks. “Luka’s really cool. I was kind of a little drunk last night after Kim verbally roughed me up, and Luka took care of me. He was sweet, and I had a good time talking with him, and we danced, and he said…he said a lot of things, but…”

Adrien shook his head ruefully. “But none of that matters because he probably hates me now that someone’s told him about me and Marinette, so…so whatever. It’s fine. Whatever.”

Deep trenches formed in Nino’s brow. “Luka called me last night.”

Adrien studied Nino’s face for some kind of indication of where his friend was going with this information. “Oh?”

Nino nodded. “He sounded really stressed. He was worried about you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened in interest. “O-Oh?”

“He was pretty anxious to know whether you’d made it home okay, and he sounded pretty miffed that no one had told you about Marinette dating him,” Nino continued, studying Adrien’s face intently for the smallest muscle twitch. “I don’t think he hates you, Mec.”

A pleased blush made itself at home on Adrien’s face, and a shy smile followed. “He doesn’t?”

“Didn’t seem like it,” Nino confirmed, pursing his lips. “…This isn’t the conversation I thought we’d be having.”

Adrien sat up, looking away. “This isn’t a thing. I just… He was nice. I’d like to be friends. It’s a platonic crush. That happens, right? With people you look up to?”

Nino pushed himself up to sitting and nodded. “Yeah. Sure, Mec. Of course…. But…it would be okay if it _was_ a thing. You know, other than the fact that he’s got a girlfriend. It would be okay.”

“It’s not a thing,” Adrien repeated. “It’s just like how Chloé admires Ladybug and Kagami. How you admired Chat Noir.”

Nino bypassed speculation on Chloé’s sexuality to skip to Adrien’s second point. “Dude, there’s no need to use past tense. I still do admire Chat Noir. I admire him even more now that I know it’s you. I’ve admired _you_ , Adrien Agreste, for a long time.”

Adrien turned a puzzled stare on his friend. “Me? As in… _me_ me?”

“Adrien,” Nino chuckled, shaking his head. “ _You_ , you, you, you, _you_. You are awesome, Mec. There’s a lot that I admire about you both in and out of costume, okay?”

Adrien nodded, his shy smile making a comeback. “You’re pretty cool yourself.”

“I know. Thanks.” Nino preened.

Adrien rolled his eyes, giving Nino a shove. “Stop. I’m trying to be mad at you.”

“Sorry. Should I do something douchebaggy to make it easier?” Nino proposed with a serious expression.

Adrien shoved him again. “…Could you not tell Marinette about my platonic crush on Luka? I mean, I know she already knows because I told her myself the other day when she mentioned she’d been hanging out with him lately, but…like…just don’t bring it up, okay? Don’t remind her.”

“…Dude?” Nino raised an eyebrow uncertainly.

“It’s not a thing,” Adrien insisted. “I just… People can flirt platonically, can’t they? Like…you and I do that, don’t we? And Alya flirts platonically with me, and I used to think Marinette and I flirted like that, but…but people do flirt just for fun, just kind of teasing each other, not really meaning anything serious by it…right?” Adrien’s eyes searched Nino’s frantically. “Luka and I could flirt platonically without that necessarily being cheating on Marinette, right?”

Nino pursed his lips. “Okay, so…yeah, people do flirt without actual romantic intent. _You_ in particular are a huge flirt, so, yes, it is possible just to flirt for fun. Whether or not _you and Luka_ can platonically flirt…I don’t know, Mec. I’d have to see you two together before I could say for sure, and, honestly, I think Marinette would have to be the judge of what should be considered cheating. My advice is to not even go there if you’re questioning whether something is okay. Just don’t flirt with him period if you’re unsure of where the line is. And if you can’t not flirt with him, steer clear of him in general. I mean, I think we’re jumping the gun a little because it’s not like you and Luka are in regular contact anyway, so…”

Adrien nodded, lying back down to absorb what Nino had said.

“…How’s Marinette?” he inquired after several minutes.

Nino gave a halfhearted shrug. “Hurting. Regretting a lot of things. Trying to keep a grin pasted on so no one will worry.”

Adrien hummed thoughtfully. “…Why didn’t you _really_ tell me about Marinette and Luka? Marinette said you two were trying to figure out the best way and the best time. She said she didn’t want to mess up the end of high school for me, but…that all reeks of bull. Why did everyone actually wait more than two weeks to tell me?”

Nino blew out a slow sigh. “The truth?”

Adrien nodded.

“She told you the truth,” Nino confessed. “She was uncertain and trying to figure things out. It was the end of the school year, and we were all busy with other things on top of that. We knew there was no avoiding this hurting you. I was supposed to tell you this week now that we’re on vacation with nowhere to be so that you could have time and space to process and come to terms with it.”

Adrien rolled his eyes.

“Seriously,” Nino insisted. “Adrien, you’re a bit overdramatic. You overreact and take things harshly. I thought so even before I knew about Chat Noir, and now that I do know that that’s you… You really didn’t need to have an ‘end of the world’ breakdown at the end of the school year.”

Adrien rolled over so that his back was to Nino. “Stop patronizing me. I’m not a child.”

“Sorry,” Nino sighed. “I know you’re not. It’s just that sometimes you’re the most mature, grownup person I know and other times…Bro, you throw fits.”

“Do not,” Adrien grumbled.

“Dude,” Nino replied pointedly.

“ _Dude_ ,” Adrien returned sharply, accusatorially.

“…Dude,” Nino sighed, suddenly sounding beyond the limits of exhaustion. “You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Adrien rolled back over to look up at Nino. “…How much sleep did you get last night?”

Nino shook his head. “After the party, I ran halfway over here to check on you, but then I got a text from one of your parentals saying that you’d gone to bed, so I knew you’d made it home safe. Then I ran over to the bakery and relieved Alya of Marinette duty. We were up for a couple hours talking. It was almost dawn by the time we crashed. We were both so out of it. We kind of just fell asleep on top of the covers for a couple hours. I left her house at eight, dropped by my house to shower, change, and grab something quick before trekking over here to make sure you were okay, but then your dad told me you didn’t want to see me and threatened to have me forcibly removed, so I hiked over to Fu’s for the Miraculous, roof-ran back here, and here we are now. So, yeah. Not much sleep.”

Adrien sat up and grabbed the discarded pillows, arranging them once more at the top of the bed. He straightened the sheets, pulling them up over both Nino and himself.

“Take off your pants,” he instructed his friend.

Nino arched a curious eyebrow but began to do as asked. “Adrien Agreste, are you trying to seduce me right now? Because I have to say that it’s working.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, smacking Nino’s arm. “Sure, Bro. Marinette has wrecked me so completely that I’m now into guys—particularly guys with girlfriends who they’re crazy about. Your jeans don’t look too comfortable to sleep in.”

“Am I sleeping?” Nino chuckled, tossing his pants to the floor.

“Yep.” Adrien grabbed the remote control from his nightstand and hit two buttons.

The lights turned off, and enormous blinds slowly lowered, covering the floor to ceiling windows.

“Nap time. You sound wiped.” He pushed Nino down on the bed beside him.

Nino stared quizzically as Adrien settled back under the covers. “Don’t you need to talk about stuff or something?”

Adrien shook his head, eyes closed. “I’ve done enough talking. I’ll talk to my therapist on Tuesday. Right now I’m moping and sleeping.”

“You’re sure?” Nino pressed, trying not to catalogue all the ways in which Adrien’s pillow was far more comfortable than his at home.

“Mmhm. Go to sleep. You’re off duty.”

“But—”

“—Hush.” Adrien’s eyes snapped open to fix Nino with an intent gaze. “You’ve been running yourself ragged these past few months trying to be everybody else’s emotional support. You think I don’t realize how needy I am? I can’t even imagine Marinette’s crap on top of that. And then there’s your own stuff and probably Alya’s. Nino, go to sleep, okay? You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“…I thought you were mad at me.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “I suck at being mad at people. Even if I am mad, I still care about you. Like I told Marinette, love and hate aren’t mutually exclusive. I’d love to smother you with this pillow, but I’d regret it as soon as I was done. Don’t you and Alya ever get like that?”

Nino sighed. “Yeah. There are times I want to strangle her with my bare hands, but…”

“All right then,” Adrien announced. “Go to sleep. I promise not to smother you.”

“Much appreciated,” Nino mumbled, letting his eyes slip closed.

 

Adrien came to consciousness feeling much too warm. He tried to move away from the heat, but someone was holding him in place. Had he been captured?!

He jerked awake to find himself wrapped up in Nino’s arms with his face buried in his friend’s shirt.

Nino inhaled sharply but then snuggled back into Adrien’s hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he mumbled, “Shh, Al.”

“If we’re gonna do pet names, I prefer ‘Dri’,” Adrien chuckled, causing Nino to give a jolt of surprise.

Nino pulled back, blinking uncomprehendingly at Adrien, trying to remember what he was doing in bed with the blonde.

“First time calling your partner by the wrong name?” Adrien teased, sitting up and stretching.

Nino rolled his eyes, flopping back over. “What time is it?”

Adrien reached for his phone on the nightstand only to remember that he had entrusted his mobile to his father the night before. “Good question,” he mumbled, grabbing the remote control instead, turning on the lights and opening the blinds with the push of a button.

The sun was still shining brightly, but that didn’t reveal much in the middle of the summer.

“Plagg, what time is it?” Adrien called out, hoping his kwami hadn’t gone far.

“Time for you to get a watch,” Plagg snickered.

“It is two-twenty-three,” Wayzz responded as he floated over to land on Nino’s knee.

“Wow. Thank you, Wayzz. That was incredibly helpful. I appreciate that,” Adrien remarked pointedly at Plagg before turning to Wayzz with a sincere smile. “Seriously. Thank you. Tell me, did I get stuck with the smart-aleck? Are the rest of you more accommodating and cooperative?”

Wayzz chuckled softly. “Adrien, you could have done a lot worse than Plagg. He cares about you a great deal.”

“Don’t I know it,” Adrien sighed, holding out a hand to his kwami. “I care about him too.”

“Brat,” Plagg snorted, landing on Adrien’s hand and hugging his thumb. “When are you gonna eat something?”

“Not hungry,” Adrien sighed, lying back down, resting the hand with Plagg in it palm up on his stomach.

“When was the last time you ate?” Nino side-eyed his friend suspiciously.

Adrien shrugged.

“He had some snacks at the party,” Plagg ratted his chosen out remorselessly.

Nino sat up to glare down at Adrien. “Mec, we’re getting you something to eat. I will feed you myself if I have to. Going on a hunger strike will not make your problems go away.”

Adrien shrugged once more. “What time is Marinette’s party? You’re not missing it, are you?”

Nino rolled his eyes. “I’m not going. I’m pestering the tar out of you until you get up, put on actual clothes, eat, and then play foosball or something with me. I don’t care what we actually do, but you’re getting up out of bed.”

Adrien shook his head, a deep sadness settling onto his features. “I don’t know if I’m ready to get out of bed.”

Nino arched an eyebrow but didn’t press, letting Adrien talk in his own time.

“This past month, since Marinette broke up with me, I’ve been getting up and working on getting better because I thought that was the only way she was going to take me back. I could only be with her and be happy if I put the work in, but last night she told me that she’s not going to be waiting for me on the other side of this. If I get out of bed today, it will be because I’ve decided that _I_ am worth getting out of bed and putting the work in for. Just me. No true love. No happily ever after. Just…Adrien Agreste.”

Adrien looked at Nino nervously. “I don’t know if I care enough about him to commit to this. Like, seriously. I don’t know if he’s worth putting myself through all this.”

“ _I_ think he is,” Nino replied gently, running a hand through Adrien’s hair. “But, Adrien…even if you get out of bed today, that doesn’t mean you have to get out of bed tomorrow. I would like for you to, but you don’t _have_ to. Don’t think of this as an all or nothing situation. Somedays you’ll get out of bed; somedays you won’t. That’s fine. The important thing is that you get out of bed more days than you don’t. Maybe it won’t be like that right away, but that’s the goal to work towards right now. Once you meet the goal of getting out of bed four days out of every seven, try for five out of seven, then six. This is a long-haul kind of thing. You don’t have to be perfect off the bat.”

Adrien took a deep breath and let it out thoughtfully. “Are _you_ hungry?”

Nino nodded.

Adrien pointed. “There’s a landline on my desk. Dial three-six-five to reach the kitchen staff and ask them to bring whatever you want to my room.”

Nino got up and went over to the desk, mindful of the ash pile that used to be a desk chair and Ladybug merchandise. He dialed as instructed and waited for someone to pick up on the other line. “Uh…hello? Um…could you please bring two large salads with grilled salmon and some kind of vinaigrette dressing along with a mug of mint tea to Adrien’s room? …Okay. Sounds good. Thank you so much.”

Nino looked back to find Adrien propping himself up on his elbow, staring at Nino in wide-mouthed surprise. “They said it would be about fifteen/twenty minutes. What’s up with the fish face?”

“You remembered,” Adrien breathed.

Nino frowned. “Remembered?”

“What I said. A couple years ago. About salads and mint tea,” Adrien clarified.

Nino chuckled, making his way back to the bed, climbing over Adrien. “About how when you or your mom had a bad day she’d kick the kitchen staff out and make you guys a big salad and some mint tea to share? Of course I remember. I mean, salad and mint tea are about the weirdest comfort foods I’ve ever heard of.”

“Marinette’s mom makes her orange jasmine green tea,” Adrien muttered sullenly.

“But her dad makes her crème brûlée to go with it,” Nino countered. “Most people eat fat and sugar when they’re feeling crappy. You just eat health food. Your whole family is weird.”

“I’m sure you mean that in the most loving way possible,” Adrien sniffed indignantly.

“Of course, Mec,” Nino snickered.

There was a long silence.

“…Hey,” Nino called nervously. “Just tell me if you want to drop it, but…can I apologize for the whole Luka thing again? You were right. I’ve been doing a lot of emotional support stuff lately, and I feel like I’m juggling a bunch of balls, right? But I’m a sucky juggler, so I’m trying really hard not to drop them all, but it’s hard cause I don’t know exactly what I’m doing. And I think I dropped one. I think I might have dropped one of the most important ones, and I’m really sorry, Mec. I don’t want to make excuses because I _did_ screw up, and I know I screwed up. You have every right to be mad, but I just want you to understand why. Don’t think of this as an excuse. It’s only an explanation. Some context for my massive failing as a friend…. Can I tell you the story of how I met Marinette?”

Adrien considered for a minute before nodding his assent.

Nino exhaled slowly and began, “I was about five when my family moved to Paris for my mom’s job. It was kind of rough settling in because Paris was so different from the little town I was from. It was kind of overwhelming. I had a hard time fitting in with all the new people. I’ve always been a bit of a social recluse—at least, before you and Alya—I mean, I liked music still, and I was a huge movie buff even then, but those are hobbies you do by yourself. I didn’t have a whole lot to relate to other kids with.

“When I started school, all the other kids in my class were white—well, Marinette’s half white, but—and most of them had lived in Paris their whole lives, and they’d known each other from the previous year, so…I was feeling super out of place. One day, during break, some of the kids were playing I don’t even remember what, but it looked like fun, so I asked if I could play too, but then Chloé, bless her heart, repeated some crap she’d probably heard from her dad about brown people’s place being in the servants’ quarters.”

Adrien full-body winced. “She didn’t.”

Nino snorted. “Maybe those weren’t her exact words, but that was the gist of it.”

“Oh my God, Nino. I am _so_ sorry she said that.” Adrien’s entire face heated up in shame.

Nino shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize, Mec. Just have a bunch of brats of your own someday and teach them to act better.”

“Hey, you’ll get no complaints from me if you can talk Marinette into it,” Adrien joked, only not really. “But what did you say to that? What did you do?”

Nino smiled sheepishly. “I was, like, five. I started to cry, Dude, but then Marinette came over and took my hand and told Chloé that she was mean. Marinette said that she thought my skin was a beautiful color, and she asked me if I wanted to come play with crayons with her.”

“Of course she did,” Adrien chuckled, smiling affectionately.

“Of course she did,” Nino echoed. “And we were fast friends. She was my first ‘bro’. For a couple years, we were nigh inseparable. We made an actual blood pact when we were eight. We used one of her sewing needles to prick our fingers. We kind of drifted apart around the time we were eleven or twelve. We still hung out and everything, but…we weren’t as close as we used to be until after you and Alya came and the four of us started hanging out as a group. We were both kind of outcasts before you and Alya. Marinette didn’t hang out with the other girls in our year besides when the whole class was doing something together, and I was off doing my own thing—listening to music, watching foreign films. Marinette and I used to sit with Nathaniel at the losers’ table in the lunchroom. We weren’t the people you know now. Alya really drew the both of us out of our shells. Well…I guess Marinette had the whole Ladybug thing going on too, but…”

Nino took a deep breath and rested his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “Do you kind of get where I’m coming from? You and I are best friends now, yes, and you are irreplaceable to me, Adrien…but Marinette and I have a lot of history together. I know as your bro I’m supposed to be on your ‘side’ first and foremost, but…”

“You can’t do that because Marinette is an irreplaceable friend to you too, so you keep getting caught between us,” Adrien finished with a sigh.

Nino nodded. “I’m sorry, Adrien.”

Adrien shook his head slowly. “It’s okay. I understand.” Suddenly, an impish glimmer lit up his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it, does it?”

Nino shrugged. “No.”

“So…it would be okay for me to, even though I understand where you’re coming from, still get all childish and pouty and want you to choose me anyway?” Adrien wondered.

Nino smiled wearily. “Yep. That is definitely something you could do.”

“Good,” Adrien proclaimed with a triumphant smile. “Then I’m still mad about the Luka thing.” He picked up one of the pillows and tossed it over by the piano. “Fetch?”

Nino groaned in resignation, getting to his feet. “Okay. If this is the worst I get, I’ll take it and be grateful.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, I was fishing around in my mind for a good song for Plagg to be playing on the piano. I figured a popular song or something from an opera would be good since Plagg is so tiny he can’t press more than one key at a time, so I needed something where he could just play the vocal line. O Mio Babbino Caro was my first aria when I was little, and it sometimes gets stuck in my head, so I picked that. (Also, there’s a video on YouTube of a chicken playing it, so I knew it worked well just picking one note out at a time.) I had never looked up the lyrics before, so when I did, I was surprised. It actually worked out pretty well in one of those weird coincidences. I’m really happy with that scene.
> 
> It’s probably a good thing work will be enforcing a writing break. I have a really stupid plan for the story, and I think I need time to convince myself to scrap it. Otherwise Nooroo will be joining the cast and Luka will be popping up more often than intended. 
> 
> Show of hands: Who wants to see Nooroo and Adrien? Who wants to see more of Luka? Who wants to see less of Luka? Who wants me to stop expanding the story and just wrap it up already?
> 
> I feel like some of you want me to stop writing already and just skip ahead to when Marinette and Adrien are okay to date, but I was planning smaller time skips to show how they get there instead of the large timeskip that some of you have mentioned. Are you interested in seeing how they get there, or do you really want me to end the story already? My plan was for Adrien to learn that it doesn’t have to be Marinette through a crush on Luka (no, not a relationship but an attraction that teaches Adrien that he actually can develop feelings for someone else and he isn’t doomed to be alone if Marinette doesn’t return his feelings). I was also going to show Adrien and Marinette slowly learning how to be around one another and repair their relationship before finally coming to a place where they can be together.
> 
> So who wants the story to timeskip and wrap up already? Who wants to see the longer version showing the reparation of the relationship and character growth? I think what you guys are tired of is the drama and the angst and the hurt. The good news is that we’re pretty much done with that at this point. Thirteen and Twenty-Seven were the big blowups. Now we’re working on rebuilding.
> 
> Thoughts? Thanks for reading! See you guys 07/29/2019!
> 
> O Mio Babbino Caro with Lyrics: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=69pxWVjlbNo  
> Tenor Version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bxyQc7DXN5Y  
> Chicken Version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cFYxRp9K9L4


	31. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien's friends and family slowly encourage him to get back up on his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for coming back once more. Sorry for the leave of absence. Thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos and bookmarks! I seriously appreciate your love and support and all the thoughtful conversations you guys have in the comments. Your feedback for this has been wonderful, and it's really helped shape this story for, I believe, the better, so thank you so much for your input.
> 
> I think the best feedback I got was to just go with the flow and tell the story my own way. Thank you. I think that's worked for this story in the past, so I think I'll just continue making it up as I go along.
> 
> For those of you drowning in the angst-mire, I've written an Adrienette fluff piece called Once Upon a Golden Afternoon. It's a fluffy one-shot full of cute, mindless fluff. Please go check it out. It made me feel better.
> 
> For those of you in the LukaxAdrien faction, I will soon be posting a Luka and Adrien piece called Phantasmagoria. It's kind of a hurt/comfort/fluff/friendship/pining piece. I think it's going to be a two-shot, but if you liked the Luka and Adrien chapter of Daisy, I think you'll like this because it's kind of similar (without the wince factor of Luka being in a relationship with anyone).
> 
> (At this point in time, you will have realized that I'm on a Lewis Carroll kick as far as story-naming conventions go. I find his poetry incredibly accessible and fun besides. I like the title "Phantasmagoria" more than his poem by that name, though.)

“I need you…to get up…and eat something,” Plagg repeated for the fifth time, this time in a measured tone, very slowly. He was extremely close to losing his temper and screaming.

“I’m not hungry,” Adrien grumbled, hiding under his pillow, trying to drown Plagg out. “I already got up and showered. You only get one thing per day. Please let me go back to sleep until my life stops sucking now.”

“Kitten,” Plagg growled in warning.

“Kwami-Dad,” Adrien returned without heat.

“Kid, you’re letting yourself fall apart. You did so well yesterday getting out of bed and playing video games with hat-boy. Please,” Plagg stooped to groveling. “Please, please, please get up and eat.”

It took Adrien a long time to answer. “…I’m not hungry, Plagg,” he replied in a small voice. “Sorry.”

“No. It’s okay,” Plagg relented, going to snuggle up against Adrien’s neck. “Just…the next time someone comes in with food, could you chew on it a little for me?”

“Okay,” Adrien sighed.

“Thank you.” Plagg gave Adrien’s neck an affectionate lick.

Just then, the bedroom door flew open, and Chloé Bourgeois walked in like a queen in her own castle.

“Adri-chou!” she trilled, directing her butler Jean to set down the bags of food and the drink carrier on the coffee table and Chloé’s satchel on the couch next to it. “What are you still doing in bed? Up. Now. Breakfast is getting cold.”

“Breakfast?” Adrien echoed, sitting up in bed to stare owlishly at his oldest friend.

Chloé pulled out her phone to check the time and shrugged. “Brunch,” she amended, parading over to the couch. “That will be all, Jean. Thank you.”

Jean left with a bow to each of them, and Adrien was alone with an unstoppable force of nature that _would_ have her way.

“I went to a lot of trouble for this, Adrien. You had better get over here and eat,” Chloé warned.

With a sigh, Adrien tossed off the covers and plodded barefoot over to take a place on the couch next to Chloé as she gingerly removed the pastries from their various bags.

Adrien gulped when he saw the familiar logo. “These are from Tom and Sabine’s.”

“Like I said, I went to a _lot_ of trouble for this. Great personal expense,” Chloé snorted. “You’re always going on about their pain au chocolat, so…” She carefully shook the contents of the last bag out onto a plate.

“Was this a bad idea?” Chloé sighed, studying Adrien’s face. “You mentioned the other day that you hadn’t been in almost two months and really missed their pastries, so I thought…but if you don’t want these, we can just have the kitchen bring something up. I was attempting to be thoughtful, but it’s a skill that I struggle with.”

Adrien turned and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, Chloé,” he whispered into her hair, strands sticking to his lips. “I really appreciate you doing this for me. You did a good job being thoughtful.”

She smiled self-consciously as they pulled apart. “Good. I was…” She looked away. “Nino said you weren’t eating. I was worried, and I thought that if I brought you something you actually wanted to eat…” She shook her head. “Adrien, I feel really bad that I haven’t been a good friend these past few years…that I didn’t know how to be a good friend. This isn’t something they teach you, and I—”

“—Chlo?” Adrien interrupted gently, resting his hand on her forearm.

She met his gaze. “Hm?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured with a genuine smile. “You’ve been a great friend this past month…. And I didn’t know how to be friends with people at first either. The first year or two after I started school, I was constantly second-guessing everything I did around Nino and them. I mean…I still do sometimes. Like you said, nobody taught us how to do this right, but I think you’re doing a good job. Thanks for this.” He nodded at the food, picking up a pain au chocolat and taking a bite.

A hesitant smile slowly formed on Chloé’s lips as she reached out and grabbed one for herself.

“You sure got a lot of food,” Adrien chuckled when he was halfway through his pastry. “I don’t know if I can eat all this in one sitting.”

“So save some for later.” Chloé shrugged with an indignant sniff. “It’s not my fault anyway. I ordered half this amount, but when Monsieur Dupain heard it was for you, he doubled it free of charge.”

“He…He did?” Adrien blinked in confusion.

“Oh. And your hot chocolate.” Chloé reached across Adrien to pull the drink with the A on the lid in black sharpie out of the carrier. She forced it into his hand. “Don’t let it get cold. Madame Cheng said that they don’t sell the hot chocolate you like in the café, so she made this up for you special.”

“She did?” Adrien whispered, taking a hesitant sip of the beverage. Sure enough, it was Marinette’s special hot chocolate blend, recipe known only to her immediate family.

“Don’t cry! Why are you crying? Stop it,” Chloé demanded frantically.

“I’m not crying,” Adrien protested.

“Your eyes are getting teary,” Chloé retorted. “That means you’re about to cry. Stop it.”

“Sorry,” Adrien chuckled, wiping at his eyes. “It’s just…I figured that Tom and Sabine probably hated me after my fallout with Marinette. They’re really important to me, like foster parents, so… It just means a lot that they still care, you know? That I didn’t lose them too.”

“Oh, Adrien,” Chloé sighed, gently nudging his shoulder with her own. “They told me to tell you that they miss you and that you should feel free to drop by the bakery any time. I think their exact words were that their doors were always open and they’d be more than happy to feed you.”

“Y-Yeah?” Adrien laughed, brushing away fresh tears.

“Yes, you dope. They genuinely like you. They asked me, seriously, like, a dozen questions about how you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. I thought I’d never get out of there,” Chloé scoffed. “And they told me to tell you, only if I thought it wouldn’t upset you, that they’d love to still have you over for dinner sometimes whenever the Whore of Babylon is out.”

“Chloé!” Adrien scolded. “Don’t call her that.”

Chloé rolled her eyes. “Please, Adri-chou. I know you’re stupid in love with her, but I’ve hated that street-licking peasant for going on two decades now, and she only ever does things to lower my opinion of her. I’ll consider relenting if she gives me cute nieces and nephews, but, until that day, her name is dirt to me.”

“Chloé,” Adrien sighed wearily.

“No,” she replied matter-of-factly. “The others do enough coddling of you and your unhealthy obsession. Not I, Adrien…. Her parents are actually rather tolerable, though. For simple-minded menial laborers, anyway.”

“Tom and Sabine are _artisans_ ,” Adrien growled.

“Fine. Whatever.” Chloé shrugged in indifference. “But you should take them up on their dinner offer. They seem like the kind of nice you need right now, and I’d feel better if there was someone making you eat. Madame Cheng said something about missing your coffee dates too. What was that about?”

Adrien blushed. “Sunday mornings I get coffee with Sabine and we speak Chinese. It’s just a thing we started a couple years ago when I offhandedly mentioned missing having a mother.”

“…What about people who never really had mothers to start with?” Chloé mumbled, taking a thoughtful bite of her pain au chocolat.

Adrien bumped his shoulder against hers. “I’m sure Sabine would get coffee with you if you asked, Chlo. Want to come with us sometime? I’ll text Sabine and see if we can all meet up next Sunday.”

Chloé looked down at her pastry, shoulders floating up to her ears. “…I don’t speak Chinese.”

“Good thing for you we both speak French,” Adrien teased. “And we can teach you some Chinese if you’re interested.”

“I’ll go,” Chloé decided. “But only because it’ll get you out of the house.”

“I appreciate your sacrifice,” Adrien chuckled. “I’ll text Sabine after you head home and coordinate with you later.”

“Don’t forget to make dinner plans with them,” Chloé instructed, setting down her pastry and reaching over Adrien for her satchel. She removed a DVD case. “We’re watching Gossip Girl today.”

Adrien didn’t protest as she got up to insert the DVD into the player.

She looked back over her shoulder, giving him an odd look. “What? No whining? No complaints? You hate this show.”

Adrien shrugged helplessly. “Believe it or not, I could actually use a little trashy TV to give my situation perspective. My life is screwed up, but at least I’m not  _them_.”

Adrien smiled innocently, and Chloé rolled her eyes.

 

Rena Rouge was knocking on his window.

“Wow. Two in one day,” Plagg snickered from where he lay curled up on his pillow. “They must have assigned shifts.”

Adrien threw off the covers and ran to his friend as she hopped in through the unlocked window and landed in a crouch by his foosball table.

“Alya!” He caught her in a crushing hug as she detransformed.

“Adrien!” she laughed, wrapping her own arms around him and nearly squeezing the life out of him. “Oh, how’s my Sunshine? Boy, you are a sight for sore eyes.” She planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek with an overexaggerated, “Mwah!”

“Alya, I can’t believe it’s really you,” he breathed, nuzzling her hair, her face, her neck.

“God, I’ve missed you,” she chuckled, reaching up behind him to tussle his hair.

Gradually, the embrace loosened and Alya took half a step back to inspect him.

She smiled sadly as she pet his hair and stroked his face. “Oh, Sunshine. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around much.”

Adrien shrugged. “You hung out with me when you could.”

Alya rolled her hazel eyes with a snort. “Adrien, I can count the number of times I’ve spent time with you these past two months on a hand and a half.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Adrien replied softly.

Alya shrugged, taking him by the hand and tugging him over to the couch to sit with her. “It was partially my fault,” she amended, “but I’m here now, and what a heck of a time I had getting in here. How come Chloé didn’t have any problem waltzing right in this morning but I couldn’t even get past the gate?”

Adrien smiled sheepishly as he sank down onto the couch beside her. “Maybe because Chloé is Chloé and she brought food? My dad is looking kindly on anyone who can get me to eat something.”

Alya snapped her fingers. “Next time, I bring food. Do you want shrimp jambalaya or gallo pinto?”

“Surprise me. I’m easy to please,” Adrien assured with lackadaisical shrug. “So, what have you been up to lately? I mean, I got your texts, but texting isn’t the same as talking, and we’ve barely talked in forever. How’s your internship with Nadja coming? You start full-time next week, right?”

“Right. Right now I’m mainly just doing grunt work on the weekends, getting experience with all the different departments, learning how the whole business ticks. It’s super interesting, even if I do mainly carry stuff and go get coffee at the moment.”

Adrien nodded. “Everyone’s got to start somewhere, right?”

“Right…” Alya pursed her lips. “Is this really what you want to talk about? What I’ve been up to?”

Adrien blinked uncomprehendingly. “I mean…we do have a lot of catching up to do. Why? What did you want to talk about?”

Alya raised her arms wide as if unveiling herself and looked at Adrien expectantly.

Adrien’s eyes narrowed as he studied her appearance. “Sorry. What? Did you cut your hair? New glasses?”

She smacked his arm. “Sunshine, Rena Rouge just broke into your room through your window. I know Nino kind of spilled the beans when he revealed his identity to you because you know Carapace and Rena are dating, but how are you not freaking out right now? You’ve got a magical superhero sitting on your couch. Don’t you have, like, a million questions? Aren’t you going to ask what Ladybug and Chat Noir are really like? Aren’t you going to ask what it’s like to be a superhero? I mean, I know you’re a huge dork, and I’ve _seen_ your Ladybug merchandise collection. Doesn’t this kind of rock your world or something? Maybe a little bit? Or did you and Nino do this all already yesterday?”

“Oh! Oh, sure. Yeah. Sorry,” Adrien chuckled unconvincingly. “What’s it like to be a superhero?”

Alya frowned. “Sunshine, are you sure you want to go into acting? That was just bad.”

Adrien grimaced. “I’m not good at improv. Give me a script, and I’m golden. I’m sorry. It’s really cool that you’re Rena, Alya. I just…I have a lot on my mind.”

Alya’s face fell. “Shoot. Sorry. Yeah, you do, don’t you?” She reached out, beginning to stroke his face and hair like she did for her little sisters when they’d had a nightmare. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Adrien bit his lip. “What exactly have they told you is going on?”

Alya pulled back, crossing her arms as she rolled her eyes, exhaling crossly. “A load of bull, that’s what. Nino says one thing; Marinette says another, and then they change their stories, and Marinette says what Nino said, and Nino says what Marinette said, and then they change their minds and tell me something else. I’ve been getting the runaround for almost two months now, and I’m about ready to strangle them both. Seriously. I don’t know how they expect me to be any help at all when they keep me in the dark. If I didn’t love those two, I would be so done with them. I swear. It’s all I can do to keep from slapping Marinette, and I don’t even want to sleep with Nino. I am so over all the lies.”

Adrien smiled knowingly. “Sucks to be kept in the dark, doesn’t it?”

“You have _no_ idea,” Alya snorted but then thought again. “…Do you?”

Adrien nodded. “Wanna feel less confused?”

“Spill,” Alya urged, giving his leg a prod with her foot.

“The reason why they can’t tell you what’s going on is because they’re trying to protect my secret identity,” Adrien lied. “I’m Chat Noir.”

Alya stared at him for a good minute, at first waiting for him to crack up and explain that it had been a joke, but then she found herself reflecting on all the ways she had ever seen Chat Noir get beaten to a pulp and she felt dizzy because one of her closest friends had been an akuma punching bag for going on five years, and this was all a little too much to process.

Alya bit out a harsh, truculent curse, repeating herself several times until the idea became less horrifying to her.

“You can’t be,” she argued, shaking her head.

“But I am,” Adrien confirmed softly.

“You’re not wearing a ring,” Alya countered.

Adrien winced. “I gave it to my father for safekeeping in case I got akumatized. Plagg? Could you come say hi to Alya and sort of shortcut this for me?”

Plagg and Trixx came over to the couch together, and Plagg held out his paw to Alya.

“Enchanted. I am Plagg, destroyer of worlds. I would like to thank you for your considerable efforts to get my oblivious kitten into a relationship with the girl he likes.”

“Uh…sure,” Alya gulped, taking the paw cautiously. “Thank you.”

“Do you believe me now?” Adrien chuckled.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Alya mumbled, reaching out and pulling him to her in another vice-like hug. She buried her face in his neck, and he could feel her tears on his skin. “Just don’t move for a minute,” Alya instructed. “I’m processing.”

Adrien lightly ran a hand up and down her back, giving her time. “It’s okay, Alya…. I’m okay,” he whispered, trying to reassure her.

She shook her head against his chest. “Oh, Sunshine,” she breathed, pulling back to kiss his forehead, his cheeks, his nose. “Adrien…all this time…”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

She cursed again, giving his forehead another kiss. “I’ve seen you die. I’ve watched you die.”

“Ladybug always makes everything all right in the end,” he reminded feebly.

“That’s not the point,” she scoffed. “I’ve lost you…. I lost you, and I didn’t even know.”

“Sorry,” he demurred, shrinking in her embrace. “…Should I not have told you?”

“No. No, I’m glad you did. I just… This is going to take some time for me to wrap my head around.” She pulled away slowly, settling back on the couch beside him.

“Marinette reacted kind of like that too,” Adrien sighed.

Alya buried her face in her hands. “Oh my God. Is that what this is about?!”

“Sort of? Part of it, I guess?” Adrien shrugged.

Alya cursed softly under her breath. “No wonder that girl has been a mess! Talk about a bombshell. The bursts of hysterical tears and the nightmares make more sense. She’s seen you die too.”

“Good to know she cares,” Adrien mumbled a little ruefully.

“Boy, you have no idea,” Alya laughed sarcastically.

“I have some idea,” Adrien grumbled. “We discussed it Saturday, and one of us is definitely more in love than the other.”

Alya winced. “Do you think you could eventually return her feelings, or…?”

Adrien gave a start. “Alya, she told me she didn’t love me—well, not romantically, anyway. She said she was just infatuated, obsessed. I’m the one desperate to put a ring on her finger, not the other way around.”

Alya blinked slowly, contemplating wormholes and whether or not she’d managed to trip into an alternate reality. “Start from the beginning. What the hell happened?” she demanded.

Adrien took a deep breath. “I’ve always had a low-level crush on Marinette, I think, but ever since I met her, I’ve been stupid in love with Ladybug. Emphasis on the stupid.”

Alya smacked herself in the forehead. “Oh. Oh, God, you’re Chat Noir.”

“Yes. And apparently four years is my limit on holding out for unrequited love to turn around, because a couple months ago I decided to give up on Ladybug and find someone new,” Adrien continued.

Alya groaned. “With all the girlfriends.”

“And somewhere along the line, I fell flat on my face for Marinette,” Adrien sighed.

“Ooooh,” Alya winced.

Adrien nodded sadly. “It was every bit as intense as what I felt for Ladybug, but I was a mess at that point, and I didn’t want to ask Marinette out and ruin our friendship because I had kind of already done that with Ladybug, and no one thought I was ready for a real relationship, and they kept telling me to date other people, and I didn’t know that Marinette had feelings for me, so…it was a real cluster…and I did something bad.”

Alya frowned interrogatively.

“So…you remember how Marinette used to not be able to talk to me?” Adrien bit his lip.

Alya cackled. “God, I don’t miss that.”

“Well, I really wanted to be her friend, and I noticed that she didn’t have the speech problem when she was with Chat Noir, so…”

Alya’s frown turned less curious, more accusative.

Adrien blushed. “I may have started dropping by her room in costume a couple years ago. I mean…what’s the point of being a superhero if you can’t abuse your powers to sneak into a cute girl’s room and befriend her, right?”

“Adrien Emile Agreste.” Alya smacked his arm. “That was not okay.”

“You underestimate how badly I wanted to be friends with her that I was willing to turn into a two-faced creeper in order to spend time with her without her stuttering gibberish at me. Clearly, I had a thing for her a lot longer than I realized,” Adrien sighed.

“…So Marinette and Chat Noir are friends,” Alya hummed thoughtfully. “That explains some of the flighty weirdness over the years. Then what?”

“You remember when I started avoiding Marinette for, like, two weeks?”

Alya nodded.

“That was right after Chat Noir told her he loved her and stole a kiss,” Adrien confessed, not meeting Alya’s eyes.

She smacked him twice more.

“I went back and apologized…and ended up making out with her for a couple hours on her balcony.” Adrien gulped. “Remember that huge hickey I had on my neck? That was then.”

Alya pursed her lips, holding in a scream.

“I asked her out. Chat Noir. Chat Noir asked her out. Before, when he’d told her he loved her, she’d said that there was someone else she was stuck on. She said she was trying to get over him because she didn’t think it would work because…I didn’t know that Adrien was the other guy. Apparently, my quarter-life crisis with those other girls was painful to watch and kind of destroyed her image of me. Apparently, she’d given up on me and was trying to move on herself, so when Chat Noir told her how he felt and asked her to be his…she said yes. And I was on cloud nine for almost twelve hours until the next day when she cornered Adrien about why he’d been avoiding her, and I explained about being Chat Noir and not being able to face her after the kiss.”

Alya let out a sharp hiss.

“S-She broke up with me,” Adrien’s voice caught. The rest of the story had been a simple recitation of the facts as he understood them, but this part still hurt viscerally.

“She said she was disappointed that it was me,” he added in a small voice. “She said she needed space, so…there was some other stuff, but that’s her story to tell, not mine. It’s complicated. I’m sure it was a shock to her, and I’m sure she had to do kind of what you did when you found out I was Chat Noir earlier, but…she’s got more interactions with both of me to go through, especially with the feelings involved, so…yeah. That could have gone better…. I think that’s going to be the title of my autobiography.”

Alya leaned over, slinging one arm around him as she used the other hand to wipe at his tears.

“Shh.” She gently nuzzled his cheek. “It’s okay, Sunshine…. Thank you for telling me.”

“Someone needed to.” He shrugged. “Sorry you’ve been left out of the loop for so long.”

She shook her head. “I can kind of see why. It wasn’t Nino or Marinette’s place to tell me about Chat Noir.”

“Marinette should have told you about other things. She’s always been immovable about…certain things she should tell you,” he grumbled.

Alya smiled tiredly. “She gets funny ideas in her head. She thinks she has to do certain things on her own, so she won’t confide in me. It bugs the tar out of me, but that’s just how she is. You’ve just got to keep loving her anyway.”

“For some of us, it’s not even a choice,” Adrien chuckled.

“You must be a train wreck,” Alya sighed, mussing his hair.

He nodded. “I’d like to say that I’m getting better, but I don’t know that I am. I guess…at least I don’t want to kill myself…even if I do want for all this to end already. It’s not like I’m going to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and release my transformation or anything, though. I’m not…not actively suicidal, but…my thoughts are still pretty morose at times. I guess this is just me being overdramatic. Nino told me yesterday that I was a drama queen and that’s part of the reason no one told me about Luka right away.”

“Oh, Adrien,” Alya breathed, the air getting caught in her throat. A sick, cold feeling was curling up like a dead spider in her stomach. “We shouldn’t have left you alone so long.”

Her fingers clutched at his night shirt in horror.

“You know that we love you, don’t you?” Her voice shook.

“Of course I do,” he assured, resting his head against hers. “I mean, that’s why you’re here.”

“I love you even when I’m not here,” she insisted.

“I know. Don’t cry, Alya. I’m okay,” he chuckled.

“But you’re not,” she laughed helplessly.

Adrien shrugged. “I’ll get there. Even if Marinette doesn’t need me, Paris does…. I mean, as soon as Papillon gets back from the Bahamas or wherever he’s been vacationing for the past two months.”

Alya grasped his hand, giving it a squeeze as she looked him straight in the eye. “It’s not just Chat Noir. People need Adrien too. And not just Adrien Agreste the model, either. People need you. I need you, my dorky little Sunshine. Okay? …I’m sorry I haven’t been doing anything lately to make you see that.”

Adrien leaned in and pressed a grateful kiss to the top of her head. “It’s not too late to start.”

Alya squeezed her eyes closed, resting her head on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a long while, letting their thoughts and emotions settle.

Eventually, Adrien straightened up and smiled down at her. “Wanna go for a rooftop run? We could race to Notre Dame, if you feel up to it.”

 

Tuesday was Elise’s turn to babysit.

“You don’t have to put real clothes on, but at least get out of bed,” she insisted, setting a covered dish down on the coffee table.

Adrien groaned. “Is this going to be a thing? You guys are just going to come marching into my room every day to pull me out of bed and make me eat?”

“Candy Floss, we love you. Now, get your butt out of bed. Your quiche is getting cold,” she snorted, setting out the plates.

Reluctantly, Adrien untwisted himself from the sheets and went over to the couch. “Where’d you get the quiche from?”

She grinned proudly. “It’s homemade.”

“You made me quiche?” Adrien blinked, wide-eyed in surprise, touched at the gesture.

“I helped. I mean, I chopped vegetables and cracked eggs. I can’t really cook, so my roommates did most of the work, but…” She shrugged, her grin turning sheepish.

“You’re the best, Lise,” he chuckled, pulling her into a hug.

“I try.”

“I’m surprised my dad let you in, though,” Adrien hummed as he cut into his quiche and took a bite. “He’s been a little capricious about visiting privileges.”

Elise nodded, cutting a slice for herself. “Bubble Gum told me. He said his girlfriend suggested bringing food because apparently Chloé didn’t have a problem getting in with pastries. …Your dad would have let me in anyway, though,” she informed.

“Oh?” Adrien snickered.

“Your dad loves me,” Elise asserted.

“Oh?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Totally. He said he was glad to see me and thanked me for coming. I’ve been getting preferential treatment at shoots too. They’ve been requesting me specifically more often,” she reported, head held high.

“I’m glad nepotism within the Gabriel company is working out for you,” Adrien snickered.

“Yep. …Speaking of David Tennant, there’s a new series with him that I want to watch,” Elise segued. “You have Amazon, don’t you? The show is called Good Omens. We’re marathoning it today.”

Adrien shrugged. “I have time.”

 

Gabriel dropped the butter knife Wednesday morning as Adrien walked over to the sitting area in the dining room for breakfast. “You’re up out of bed…and wearing something other than pajamas.”

Adrien ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, sitting down with a shrug. “Well, I’ve noticed a pattern. At about nine or ten o’clock, one of my friends arrives to drag me out of bed, and, by my calculations, today should be either Kagami or Wayem, and I don’t really want them to see me looking like a sloppy mess, so…”

Nathalie held out a little plate of fruit and cheese. Once he took it with an earnest thanks, she set about preparing a just cheese plate for Plagg.

“I mean, it’s one thing for Nino or Elise or Alya or Chloé to see me at my worst, but I kind of don’t want Kagami to lose what little respect she still has for me, and, even though he’s gotten better, Wayem still has this idealized image of me, and I just don’t have the heart to disappoint a fan, so while I’d rather be wallowing in my own misery, it looks like I’m just going to have to grow up and get over it already.”

“Being an adult sucks like that, to use the colloquial term,” Nathalie chuckled, passing him a cup of coffee. “We’re glad to see you looking better, though, Adrien, regardless of the reason.”

Gabriel nodded in agreement. “We’ve been worried about you.”

“Sorry,” Adrien muttered down into his cup, averting his eyes.

“Don’t be,” Nathalie stressed.

“How are you feeling?” Gabriel inquired hesitantly. “Do you feel like you can take your ring back?”

Adrien shook his head. “I feel like no one is ever going to love me as anything more than a friend or some sex idol meant to be salivated over from afar, so I’m going to die alone and never know what it’s like to be…”

He trailed off and tentatively looked up to find Nathalie and Gabriel staring at him. Their distress and helplessness was written clearly on their faces.

Adrien cleared his throat. “Sorry. I meant I’m fine. How are you?”

“…Fine,” Gabriel struggled to get out. “I’m fine.”

“Sorry,” Adrien muttered, voice sticking in his throat as he got to his feet. “I should have just stayed in my room. Sorry for interrupting your breakfast.”

Nathalie’s hand flew out like a frog’s tongue, catching Adrien’s arm before he could escape.

“Sit down,” she cooed. “You’re not interrupting anything. We still love you even when you’re depressed, so sit down and eat breakfast with us.”

Obediently, Adrien retook his seat, busying himself with eating the blueberries on his plate one by one.

“For the record,” Nathalie sighed. “You don’t know very many people, Adrien, and even fewer people know the real you. Maybe, once you’re feeling up to it, you can start putting yourself out there a little more, getting to know new people, maybe once classes start this fall. Maybe you could join some clubs. Perhaps, if you can let others see the genuine you, one of them will love you as something more than a friend or an idol. You’ll need to begin from a place of friendship first, though. It won’t do to go into meeting new people looking for a romantic partner. It has to start with friendship.”

Adrien looked up from his plate slowly. He made a thoughtful noise. “…That…makes sense.”

Nathalie nodded. “If you can keep yourself from desperately searching for the love you want and just be patient, maybe that kind of love will find you.”

Adrien nodded, looking back down at his plate, considering the cubes of cheddar. He handed one to Plagg sitting down on the table by Gabriel’s coffee cup.

While Adrien was preoccupied, Gabriel sent Nathalie a look of profound gratitude, mouthing, “Thank you!”

Nathalie winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked the beginning and the end of this chapter best, I think. This one was a bit of a slog to get out because I'm just not feeling well, and it looks like the big project at work is going to take at least another week. We're about halfway done with the case review, but it is also a slog because I'm having to go back and read through all these volumes of deposition transcripts. :/
> 
> Ahem. But I liked the scene with Chloé. She's growing and changing too, and I'm glad that I got to show some of that. I've decided to take the longer route with the shorter time skips because I feel like skipping the recovery process is just cheating and would feel rushed. Nooroo should be at the end of next chapter or in the chapter after that.
> 
> You know, I wrote this chapter before I had seen Good Omens, and I'm glad I finally gave in and watched it. Terry Pratchett is one of my favourite authors, and I really enjoyed Neil Gaiman's Norse mythology retelling, and Good Omens is a beautiful marriage of both of the authors' wit and brilliance. I'm reading the book Good Omens now, and I'm really pleased with it. I find Aziraphale to be incredibly relatable. My brother is making fun of how similar we are.
> 
> Anyway. Thanks for reading, guys. I hope to be back on Monday, 08/05/2019. In the meantime, go enjoy Once Upon a Golden Afternoon and Phantasmagoria.


	32. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami and Wayem take their turns babysitting.  
> Nino writes rubbish poetry.  
> The gang goes on an adventure impractically attired.  
> Texts from an old friend.  
> Gabriel is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can explain. ^.^;
> 
> The Short Version: I'm keeping Daisy Adrienette-only for the most part. Luka may pop up occasionally, but end pairing will be Adrienette. You can just read Daisy. You don't have to read anything else. All the Lukadrien/Lukadrienette/Lukanette content is going into a separate story called Late to the Jabberwocky for the people who want to read the expanded story with mostly Lukadrien content (but also Lukadrienette and some Adrienette) and an end pairing of Lukadrienette. Thanks for your patience while I set all this up. I realize it has been four literal months to the day, and I appreciate you guys for not constantly badgering me for updates while I worked on getting the Jabberwocky universe caught up to where we are in Daisy. You guys rock!
> 
> The Long Version: When I asked you guys whether or not you would tolerate more Luka in the plot, it was about a fifty-fifty split of people who said yes and people wanted Daisy to remain purely Adrienette. So, instead of picking either/or, I picked both. In the past four months, I have written Phantasmagoria, the Lukadrien backstory of when the boys hung out two years before Daisy. I have also written the start of the parallel story to this one, Late to the Jabberwocky, where I am putting all the ideas I had for Lukadrien, Lukadrienette, and Lukanette content. Jabberwocky is finally caught up to where we are in Daisy, so now I can continue writing the story in chronological order, bouncing back and forth between Daisy and Jabberwocky depending on what kind of scene I'm writing. I've also been working on a drabble dump of scenes that take place all throughout the Daisy/Jabberwocky/Phantasmagoria timeline called A Little Nightmusic (Eine Kleine Nachtmusik). So...yeah. I've been busy. ^.^; Thank you for your patience!
> 
> Okay. Now on to the current chapter. As a reminder, it's Wednesday the week after the graduation party (that took place Saturday night). Also, the time has come, my friends, when we selectively ignore canon. Enjoy!

“It’s good to know that you haven’t lost your skill,” Kagami remarked condescendingly as she removed her mask to reveal a sly, fox-like smile. “I had been concerned.”

“I mean, I did go for a run on Monday,” Adrien snorted, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. “It’s not like years of training are going to instantly evaporate just because I spend a few days moping in bed.”

Kagami clicked her tongue reproachfully. “My mother would disown me for neglecting my art like that.”

“I’m sick.” Adrien shrugged dismissively.

“In my family, mental illness is viewed as weakness and inferiority,” she countered ruefully. “Be grateful your father is so lenient and understanding.”

“Yeah,” Adrien sighed, relenting as he rested his mask against his hip. “He’s really stepped up lately. I _am_ grateful. A couple years ago when I asked to see a therapist, he told me it would be disgraceful to talk about private family matters with ‘one of those charlatans’, and when I started having panic attacks, he insisted that I was just fatigued from all the work…. He’s come a long way.”

Kagami nodded, beginning to pack up her equipment.

“…Do _you_ think I’m weak?” Adrien wondered.

Kagami paused, her head tipping slightly as she considered her response. “…I think it takes a very strong person to admit to their weaknesses.” She looked at him over her shoulder. “I think you’re admirable.”

A pleased blush slowly rose in Adrien’s cheeks. “Thank you. I admire you too, Kagami.”

She waved away his compliment. “Flatterer. I’m commandeering a guest room to shower and change. You should do likewise, and, then, as a reward for your fencing skills not deteriorating despite your negligence, I will allow you to take me to lunch.”

Adrien frowned. “I thought you said that I couldn’t pay for your meals unless it was a date.”

Kagami shrugged. “Those were the old rules, and they have outlived their usefulness. I no longer have any delusions about the two of us ever being a couple, Adrien. You’re sweet, and I’m glad of your friendship, but now that I’ve gotten to know you better, I can see plainly that we’re not meant to be.”

“O-Oh.” Adrien shifted uncomfortably. “…Did I do something wrong?”

Kagami shook her head. “ _I_ did. I decided who you were without really knowing, without consulting you. I acted on assumptions and incomplete data. I apologize.”

Adrien opened his mouth to apologize in turn, but Kagami cut him off: “Whatever you’re about to say is superfluous. If you’re about to tell me all is forgiven, it’s unnecessary because I know you forgive me. You forgive so easily, Adrien—too easily. If you’re about to apologize and try to take some of the blame onto yourself, that too is unnecessary because, like I said before, you are not the one in the wrong.”

Adrien smiled softly at his friend, silently thanking her. “If you say so,” he replied aloud. “…Do you like Chinese food?”

Kagami raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I would not be opposed to trying Chinese food if that’s what you really want, Adrien, but we can’t tell my mother. She doesn’t approve of commoner food.”

His soft smile morphed into a mischievous grin. “You can just say I took you to La Bauhinia or Shang Palace at the Shangri-La.”

Kagami rolled her eyes. “Devious boy. Go shower.”

 

Wednesday evening, several hours after Kagami’s departure, Gabriel stood in the doorway as Adrien finished a spirited rendition of [Bohemian Rhapsody on the piano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJRSEUWKEn0) and Plagg crooned along.

“Your playing has improved in these past few weeks,” he observed, clapping reservedly.

Adrien gave a start and turned on the bench to smile sheepishly. “It’s more incentive to practice when you’re playing something you want to be playing—no offense to Ravel.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“And yet you were playing [Ravel’s Une Barque sur l’Ocean](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O5wMctUSAM) the other day,” Gabriel hummed.

Adrien shrugged and tried not to blush. “That one’s been stuck in my head for some reason.”

Plagg snickered.

Adrien swatted halfheartedly at the kwami.

Gabriel nodded, ignoring the interaction. “Do you like Queen?”

Adrien shrugged again. “Select Queen songs. Bohemian Rhapsody and The Show Must Go On. There was a lot of Queen music featured in the show Elise and I watched yesterday, so…”

“I’m the one who requested Bohemian Rhapsody,” Plagg spoke up from where he was lounging on the piano. “I like Queen. Did you need something, Gabriel? If not, you should come over and play a piece with us.”

“Maybe later,” Gabriel excused himself, actually intending to make time to play with them at a later date. “Monsieur Lahiffe is in the foyer. I told him you did not wish to see him. He asked to appeal the matter with you. Are you still upset with him?”

Adrien held out a hand palm down and wiggled it. “I think I’m going to be hurt about this for a long time, even if I’m not actively upset. Right now I’m playing hard to get and seeing what he comes up with as far as grand gestures to win my forgiveness. He snuck into my room the other day, and that was kind of impressive.”

Gabriel frowned. “How did a teenage boy get past our security system?”

Adrien waved away Gabriel’s concern. “Magic. Don’t worry about it.”

Gabriel doubled down in the concern department. “Wait. Actual magic, or is that just a figure of speech?”

“The magic of friendship,” Adrien clarified, getting to his feet. “Let’s go hear what Monsieur Lahiffe has to say for himself.”

Gabriel reluctantly followed his son, hanging back to observe the confrontation.

Nino was waiting in the foyer at the bottom of the stairs. When he saw Adrien up and dressed, he smiled. “Hey, Mec. Looking good.”

“Flattery isn’t going to get you into my bedroom, Nino,” Adrien snickered, stopping at the top of the stairs and crossing his arms. “You know, I’ve always wanted to do this to somebody else,” Adrien hummed, looking down imperiously at his friend.

“Dreams really do come true sometimes,” Nino snorted, not enjoying being in Adrien’s usual position.

“This is kind of a power trip,” Adrien mused, standing more erect. “…So I hear you asked to appeal your case?”

“Yeah,” Nino sighed. “Dude, call your dad off.”

“Nope,” Adrien chuckled. “I’m taking the high road and trying to suck it up and be mature about so many other things in my life right now. You get to deal with the childish temper tantrum.”

Nino inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. “Lucky me.”

Adrien bit his lip. “…How’s Marinette?”

Nino smiled sadly. “Hanging in there. Throwing herself into her work at the moment. Inside, she’s a mess, but she’s putting her game face on and going out there and getting things done.”

Adrien nodded, unsure how to feel about that. Part of him wanted her to be a complete and utter wreck. Part of him didn’t want his Lady, his Princess to feel anything like the pain he was going through.

“You should write me a sonnet to prove your undying friendship,” Adrien remarked offhandedly, turning to head back to his room.

“How about a limerick?” Nino bartered.

“Am I only worth a limerick?” Adrien pouted, passing his father and slipping back into his sanctuary/cage.

Ten minutes later, Carapace opened Adrien’s window.

“You came prepared this time,” Adrien chuckled as he plugged a second controller into the game console.

Nino sighed as his transformation dropped. “Dude, you’re worth this.”

Adrien paused, letting the words warm his chest while simultaneously trying not to let on. He looked up expectantly at Nino. “So, where’s my limerick?”

 

Thursday, Wayem came over to play through Adrien’s collection of board games.

“You know, I haven’t even played three quarters of these,” Adrien muttered, getting down a copy of The Settlers of Catan.

“How come?” Wayem looked back over the couch to arch an eyebrow at his friend.

Adrien shrugged, coming and setting the game down on the coffee table. “I’ve never had enough players for most of them. My father has only relented in allowing people over the past month or two. Before that, I had no one to play them with.”

Besides Plagg, put Plagg was hard to convince to play and often had to be bribed to participate and take the game seriously.

“Some of them I was able to play multiple roles myself, but…with strategy games or games like Cluedo, for example, looking at another player’s cards is cheating, and it’s difficult to plot and scheme against yourself. I mean, it can be done, but…it’s really not as much fun to screw yourself over.”

“I need to take you to a board game café,” Wayem realized.

Adrien blinked. “That’s a thing?”

Wayem winced. “Next week we’re getting some of the others together and going to [Dernier Bar avant la Fin du Monde](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187147-d3622848-Reviews-Dernier_Bar_Avant_la_Fin_du_Monde-Paris_Ile_de_France.html). I’ll bring some of my friends too. You’ll love it. Do you think your dad would let you go?”

“I think he could be convinced, especially if Elise goes. He’s somehow gotten it into his head that she’s a responsible adult,” Adrien chuckled.

Wayem cracked up. “Does he know she smuggles in Pop-Tarts?”

“Shhh!” Adrien shushed urgently through laughter, frantically waving his hands. “The walls have ears around this place.”

Wayem shook his head, looking down at the assortment of games on the table before them. “So what do you want to play first? Is there one in particular that you’ve always wanted to play but’ve never gotten to?”

Adrien bit his lip, scanning the lineup. Tentatively, he picked up the box of a game that neither Plagg nor his father would ever deign to play with him. “Exploding Kittens?” he asked hesitantly, peridot eyes wide and overflowing with hope.

Wayem applauded. “Good choice!”

 

Friday, mid-morning, Chloé, Kagami, and Elise came parading into Adrien’s room without warning.

Adrien jerked up from where he was lying on his stomach on the couch reading volume two of [Seven Days](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Days_\(manga\)). He hastily snapped the manga closed and shoved it under the couch before his friends could see.

Plagg, who had phased into the couch at the sound of the door opening, snickered at Adrien’s expense.

“Guys,” Adrien whined in frustration. “A little privacy? Could you please knock?”

“Your father said we could show ourselves in,” Chloé snorted. “Why? Were you looking at porn or something?”

Adrien’s already rosy cheeks exploded in a flood of scarlet. “No! I was just researching!”

“Oh?” Chloé snickered as she approached. “And what’s that?”

“Something personal. Relationship stuff,” Adrien huffed.

Kagami and Elise looked on sympathetically, knowing from experience that Chloé would not back down until she was satisfied with the answer she received.

Chloé bent behind the couch and felt underneath.

“Chloé!” Adrien squeaked, ducking down and reaching for the book.

Her hand found it first, and Adrien was left to blush in horror as his oldest friend began to flip through.

“It’s a comic book,” Chloé observed, looking disappointed. “There’s not even any nudity. Why were you so embarrassed to be caught reading this?”

“No reason. Give it back?” Adrien asked hopefully, holding out his hand with a nervous smile.

Chloé turned to Kagami, and Adrien’s heart sank. “What language is this in? Can you read it?”

Kagami blinked as the book was thrust into her hands. “…It’s Japanese.” She flipped through perfunctorily, and her eyes widened just a touch. She closed the book.

“It’s just a teenage love story. He’s being overly sensitive,” Kagami reported, her tone of voice informing the others that this was the final verdict as she strode over to the couch and handed the book back to Adrien who was a blush personified.

He took the manga without meeting Kagami’s eye. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

With a sigh, Kagami switched to Japanese. “You’re researching relationships between men?”

Adrien shrank, replying in a small voice in Japanese, “I am.”

Kagami pursed her lips. “I’ve heard that these kind of manga are not realistic representations of same-sex partnerships. They’re mostly for the entertainment of women. You probably shouldn’t base your expectations on them.”

Adrien returned to French with a bashful smile. “That’s kind of a relief. Thanks.”

Kagami gave a decisive nod. “Friends,” she tested the word out on her tongue. “Friends look out for one another.”

Chloé turned to Elise. “What just happened?”

Elise chuckled. “I don’t speak Japanese, Lemon Drop, but I’m guessing they had a friendship-solidifying moment.”

Chloé snorted. “When do I get to have a friendship-solidifying moment with Kagami?”

Elise shrugged. “Not with Adrien?”

Chloé waved Elise away. “The friendship between Adri-chou and me is like bedrock.”

Adrien’s bedroom door opened once more to admit an annoyed-looking Gabriel Agreste. “I’ve just been arguing with Monsieur Lahiffe about his admittance. Adrien, would you care to weigh in on the matter?”

Adrien pursed his lips. He slipped the manga back under the couch and stood. “He can come in since there are others. Keep giving him a hard time when he comes alone until further notice.”

“Very well,” Gabriel sighed, turning to call over his shoulder. “Monsieur Lahiffe? You’ve been given a special dispensation.”

Nino trotted up the stairs and eagerly made his way into Adrien’s room, announcing, “I wrote you a limerick.”

Adrien blinked. “For real?”

Nino nodded. “It’s rubbish, but it technically fits the definition of ‘limerick’. I’m not a poet, Mec.”

“I know you’re not,” Adrien snickered. “That’s why I asked you to write me a sonnet.”

Nino frowned deeply. “Is this like that story you told me about the moon chick who sent her suitors out to fulfill impossible requests?”

“[Kaguya-hime](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tale_of_the_Bamboo_Cutter)?” Kagami cocked an eyebrow at Adrien who shrugged.

“The main difference is that Kaguya-hime meant for her suitors to fail,” Adrien explained. “I’ll be very pleased if Nino succeeds in winning my forgiveness.” He turned to Nino expectantly as Adrien took a seat on the piano bench, crossing one knee over the other. “Limerick?”

Nino cleared his throat.

  
“There was a young man named Agreste  
whose best friend was a real pest.  
The friend was a snake.  
He made a mistake,  
and their friendship was put to the test.

 

“I told you it was rubbish,” Nino concluded. “But there’s your limerick.”

Adrien and the girls applauded politely.

“I’ll take it,” Adrien decreed, looking pleased.

Elise chuckled. “Candy Floss, you’re being mean torturing him like this.”

“And torturing us by extension,” Chloé snorted. “That was painful to listen to.”

“He did his best,” Kagami allowed.

“I’m not being mean,” Adrien protested with a pout. “I’m practicing holding a grudge with someone who I know won’t hate me for it, someone I know I won’t lose just because we have a fight. My therapist said it was unhealthy to avoid conflict by disregarding my own feelings and always folding like I do just because I’m terrified people won’t like me and will leave me if I stand up for myself. I’m practicing engaging in conflict in a safe environment,” he explained.

“He’s fine,” Nino assured, waving the girls off. “I can take it. Our friendship is stronger than this, so don’t worry about it. …Anyway, as a bonus, I wrote a haiku,” Nino informed, lightening the topic of conversation once more. “Do you want to hear that too, or have you had enough of my poetic buffoonery?”

“I’m game,” Adrien decided, making Chloé audibly groan.

Nino stood up straighter.

  
  
“I feel deep sadness  
and regret for hurting you  
my beloved friend.

 

“How’s that?” Nino shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Now, that was sweet,” Elise cooed.

“The syllables were correct,” Kagami remarked.

“Too sappy,” Chloé sighed.

It took Adrien a moment to formulate his response. “You took the time to come up with that for me?”

Nino replied with a wide-armed, what-else-was-I-supposed-to-do shrug. “I thought you’d appreciate it, even though I suck at poetry…I mean, since I can’t even begin to write a sonnet for you.”

Adrien pushed himself up off the piano bench and tackled Nino in a crushing hug. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you putting this much effort in…you thinking I’m worth it.”

Nino smiled tiredly, returning the hug. “Of course you’re worth it, Mec.”

“Bleh,” Chloé grumbled. “The bromance.”

“I think their friendship is beautiful,” Kagami remarked, coming to stand between Chloé and Elise.

Chloé gazed sidelong at Kagami. “…I guess there are some nice things about it…. Would _you_ want to have a bromance?—Hypothetically.”

“I think it would be nice to be that close to someone,” Kagami affirmed with a wistful smile.

Chloé made a mental note.

“Does this mean that all’s forgiven?” Nino wondered as he and Adrien pulled apart.

Adrien laughed, smacking Nino on the arm playfully. “Hell no. You stabbed me in the back. You’re going to be groveling for a loooong time.”

Nino’s face fell, but he took the news in stride. “Yeah. Okay, Mec. I get it.”

“I love you,” Adrien sang, winking as he made a little heart with his hands.

“I freaking love you too, you sadist,” Nino muttered, giving Adrien a shove that was half playful, half letting out some of his frustration.

“Okay!” Elise announced, calling the meeting to order. “Nino was going to show us how to play Dungeons and Dragons today, if that works for everyone?”

 

“Princess Celestia of Monte Carlo steps in a bog, and a Rodent of Unusual Size bites her ankle,” Nino reported.

Chloé let out a bark of indignation as she rolled her die. “…Two.”

The entire party winced collectively.

“It tears your dress,” Nino informed her.

Chloé shrieked.

“I’ll try to kill it with my arrows,” Adrien proposed, rolling his die. “…Six?” He looked up uncertainly at Nino.

Nino shook his head. “Princess Luna of the Night Elves fires an arrow and wounds the beast but misses the vital organs. Now the Rodent is angry.”

“Crap,” Adrien sighed. “Sorry, Princess Celestia.”

“You tried, Princess Luna,” Chloé assured, patting him on the knee. “It was a good shot.”

“A lot better than when you accidentally impaled my medicine bag when we were fighting the orcs,” Elise sighed. “Can I heal her?”

“I would wait until we defeat the monster and can get her to safety. Dungeon Master, I’m going to attack the Rodent,” Kagami announced, rolling her die. “…Twenty.”

The group collectively gasped. 

Elise let out a low whistle.

“Damn,” Nino chuckled. “Musashi the Warrior from the East makes sushi out of the Rodent, gallantly pulls Princess Celestia from the bog, and carries her in his arms out of the Fire Swamp.”

“My hero!” Chloé sighed, clasping Kagami’s hands in her own.

Kagami smiled shyly, a pleased blush colouring her cheeks.

“Why does Musashi always get the girls?” Adrien grumbled.

“Is Princess Luna interested in girls?” Elise teased.

“Princess Luna is lonely and confused and thinks other people are pretty in general,” Adrien reported with a toss of his head. “She is keeping her options open.”

“I’m going to heal Princess Celestia now that we’re out of the Fire Swamp,” Elise chuckled. “Musashi, if you and the princess could please stop gazing longingly into one another’s eyes for a sec?”

“If we must,” Kagami giggled, enjoying the theatrics.

Elise rolled her die. “Twelve!”

Nino nodded. “Princess Celestia is fully healed.”

“What about my dress?” Chloé demanded. “The Rodent ripped it, right?”

Nino’s brow crinkled in a bemused frown. “Who do you think Elise is, Ladybug?”

“Why not?” Elise urged. “Everett has been training with monks on the tops of mountains for the past forty years. Why can’t he heal the dress?”

Nino considered briefly before giving up. “Okay. Whatever. Roll for the dress.”

“Thirteen,” Elise chuckled, pleased with herself.

“The dress is good as new,” Nino decreed.

“Good because that dress is made out of spun gold,” Chloé snorted. “My daddy had it commissioned specially for my sixteenth birthday.”

“It’s not very practical for adventuring, Chlo,” Adrien remarked. “Maybe you should go shopping when we reach the next village.”

Chloé gave a snort. “Like your chainmail bikini is any more practical?”

“It’s not a bikini,” Adrien whined. “It’s a halter top. Why would anyone go adventuring in a chainmail bikini? I’m wearing actual pants.”

Gabriel cleared his throat from the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt your campaign, but, Adrien, your phone is…I believe the phrase is ‘blowing up’, and I thought you might want to know so that you could have the option of answering.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as he got up off the bed where they were all seated and reached to take the phone from his father. “…Marinette?” he inquired in a small voice, half filled with dread, half with hope.

Gabriel shook his head. “Luka Couffaine.”

Adrien fumbled the phone but managed to catch it before it could hit the floor. “L-Luka?”

“Isn’t that Marinette’s boyfriend?” Kagami whispered to Chloé.

“Why is he texting you?” Chloé arched an eyebrow curiously.

Gabriel frowned. “I did not mean to invade your privacy, but the phone kept buzzing, and I thought it might be important. That does not appear to be the case, but…I took pity on Monsieur Couffaine when I happened to glimpse some of the messages. It made me appreciate the fact that they didn’t have texting when I was young. That way I couldn’t text stupidity that I later regretted to your mother. All the inane things I said to her had to be said out loud, and I find that that dramatically cut down on their number. Monsieur Couffaine is not so lucky. Perhaps you could put him out of his misery?” Gabriel suggested. “If you wish. If not, I can take back the mobile.”

“What does he say?” Nino wondered, confused by this development.

Adrien looked down at his screen to find nearly twenty new messages from Luka.

They started out casually enough for two people who hadn’t texted in two years with, “hey how r u doing”, “this is luka by the way”, and “i hope this is still your number”.

Things quickly snowballed after that: “i was worried about u”, “im sorry i didnt know about what was going on”, “i hope youre ok”.

“Why are you blushing?” Chloé demanded.

“I’m not blushing,” Adrien grumbled defensively. “He was texting because he was worried about me. It’s sweet of him. I appreciate it.”

The downward spiral in the texts continued: 

“sorry im so stupid of course youre not ok”

“im sorry i hurt u”

“im really really sorry”

“for a lot of things”

“sorry if u dont want to hear from me”

Adrien’s heart clenched. He’d been wondering the same thing: Luka had expressed interest in renewing their friendship at Chloé’s graduation party, but would Luka even want to hear from Adrien after finding out about the complicated mess between Adrien and Luka’s girlfriend?

“i couldnt stop thinking about u”

Adrien’s heart fluttered.

“sorry for texting u in the first place”

“i miss u angel”

It had been a long time since Adrien had last heard that nickname. It brought back all kinds of memories from the summer he had spent sneaking out of the Agreste Mansion and practically living on the Couffaine houseboat. The guitar lessons with Luka, cooking with Rose, asking the Capitaine’s advice and listening to her wild stories, trading snark for snark with the surprisingly witty Juleka…movies and giving each other hell…teasing relentlessly, snuggling when Adrien was feeling down or unwanted or just because…talking late into the night and early into the morning…whispers in the dark, secrets and laughter and finally feeling like his feet had touched down on something solid. Feeling like he belonged. Feeling like a part of a family. Five months of happiness…until Gabriel had found out and ripped it away.

“god i wish it were possible to unsend things”, Luka’s text barrage continued regretfully.

“just ignore me”

“please please ignore me”

“im so sorry for bothering u”

“please take care of yourself”

The last message made Adrien smile. Luka still cared. Somehow, despite the ugly relationship drama with Marinette, despite the way things had ended between Luka and Adrien two years prior with Gabriel’s threats, Luka still wanted Adrien back in his life.

“What’s he say, Mec?” Nino cautiously inquired.

The flickering emotions on Adrien’s face made Nino uneasy. Surprise, delight, a pleased blush, a nervous smile, conflict, guilt, apprehension, an intrigued look, a charmed smile. The fact that Adrien was having so many varied, complex reactions to texts from the boyfriend of the girl Adrien was in love with did not bode well. Adrien was making the face he usually wore when he had his very worst ideas.

Adrien shrugged, waving dismissively. “He just wanted to check in on me, but he wasn’t sure I’d want to hear from him.”

Adrien’s thumbs started moving in a blur as he typed, “Hi, Orpheus. <3”. He figured his old nickname for Luka would quickly dispel the musician’s anxiety.

 “Can’t talk right now. I have company over.” he explained and then added, “Thanks for worrying about me.” with a broad smile, a warmth building in his chest that he hadn’t felt in what seemed like a long time…since things with Marinette imploded…since he’d lost his Lady.

“What are you grinning about?” Chloé accused, feeling like she was being left out of a joke.

“Nothing,” Adrien insisted, looking up from his phone. “It’s just nice to be worried about by people you thought hated you. I’m just…I’m happy he doesn’t hate me and still wants to be friends. We used to be close, so…it’s like when you and I reconnected, Chlo. This feels like I’m getting something I lost back. I’m happy.”

Gabriel pointedly looked away. He understood Adrien’s longing for his old friend and Plagg’s reasoning that the boy could be good for Adrien, but Gabriel was still against his son renewing an acquaintanceship with the Couffaine boy who had been such a bad influence in the past, especially now with the further complication of the boy’s relationship with the girl Adrien was in love with.

Adrien turned to his father. “I think I’m okay to keep my phone now. Thanks so much for babysitting it.”

Gabriel frowned down at his son. “You’re sure?”

Adrien nodded. “In case Luka texts me back. I’ll let you know if I change my mind and need you to take it away again if it proves to be too much of a temptation.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to respond, but a tremendous jolt cut him off, rocking the house and nearly knocking both Gabriel and Adrien off of their feet.

Car alarms started to scream.

Nino cursed.

“An earthquake?” Elise wondered aloud, voice high and wavering.

“Akuma,” Adrien breathed, running to the window.

“That’s impossible!” Gabriel argued, a step behind his son. “I didn’t—I mean…Papillon has been dormant for nearly two months!”

“There!” Nino pointed, coming to stand at Adrien’s side, one hand on Adrien’s shoulder.

“That’s a sentimonster,” Gabriel gasped, mind whirling. “Why would…? Why is…? Why?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Disclaimer: This is not how you play Dungeons & Dragons for real. It's a lot more complex and nuanced than portrayed here. Nino is the only one who's played before, and the others aren't terribly invested in the intricacies of the real game, so they're playing a super dumbed-down version for simplicity's sake. Also, I did a voice recording of the D&D scene on Tumblr, if you're interested in hearing it: https://mikauzoran.tumblr.com/post/188954309859/i-hope-to-have-the-next-chapter-of-daisy-up-this
> 
> So, I wrote various parts of this chapter months and weeks apart, often stopping in the middle of sentences that I would come back to and think, "Darn it, Mikau, why the heck would you stop there and make me try to reconstruct what you were thinking and where you were going with this?" So my question is, how did the chapter flow? Was it cohesive enough all things considered?
> 
> And what did you think? Any favourite lines? Did you hate it? Are you excited for this to be starting up again?
> 
> I think it's too much to ask for people to remember that Luka had said that he really liked Ravel at the graduation party and that Une Barque sur L'Ocean that Gabriel references Adrien playing is the song Luka said makes him melt. Adrien's song, by the way, is the first movement of Vivaldi's Winter from The Four Seasons. This will come up again later.
> 
> NEXT UP: So, as for what's coming next, we're going to be in Daisy for about three or four chapters. Adrien gets Nooroo and then has a scene with Ladybug. Then we'll be moving back to Jabberwocky to do Luka and Adrien's reunion part two and their trip to the opera together. Then we'll be back in Daisy for Bridgette and Félix's visit. After that, I have two versions of a scene between Adrien and Marinette planned. Daisy will get Marinette's version of events while Jabberwocky will get Adrien's version. And then we'll go from there. Sound good? Anyone confused on how this is going to work? I'll try to be clear in my notes on what goes where chronologically, but if you're ever confused, just ask.
> 
> Incidentally, in Chapter Twenty-Nine, Luka and Marinette arrange to meet on the Pont des Arts to talk about the Adrien situation before Marinette's graduation party on Sunday. I was originally going to write that scene for Daisy, but someone asked that I not write Lukanette, and most people sounded like they just wanted Adrienette in this story, so I didn't write the scene...until I wrote it as Chapter Nine of Jabberwocky (here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609582/chapters/51308188), so that scene now exists, if you're interested in some Lukanette wherein Marinette explains to Luka what happened between her and Adrien. You may be interested in reading it if you're wanting more of Marinette's perspective on things. I just wanted to let you know that it exists if you're interested.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, guys! See you all next week Friday, 12/06/2019!
> 
> References:  
> Bohemian Rhapsody Piano: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJRSEUWKEn0  
> Ravel Miroirs No. 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O5wMctUSAM  
> Dernier Bar: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187147-d3622848-Reviews-Dernier_Bar_Avant_la_Fin_du_Monde-Paris_Ile_de_France.html  
> Seven Days Manga: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Days_(manga)  
> Kaguya-hime: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tale_of_the_Bamboo_Cutter


	33. Unequal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Presenting...Nooroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome back for the next installment. Thank you for joining me. It was so good to see some familiar faces last chapter and good to encounter some people relatively new to the story. Thank you all for commenting, leaving kudos, and bookmarking the story.
> 
> And now, on with the show!

“I have to go,” Adrien realized, mind spinning, trying to come up with a plausible excuse to run out on his friends in his own home.

“Go where?” Chloé snorted.

“We need to get to shelter,” Elise took charge. “That thing is right outside the mansion, and it’s huge. It could easily crush us.”

“Maybe head for the basements?” Kagami suggested, taking Chloé by the arm and tugging her away from the window.

“Dad, I’m going to need my ring back.” Adrien held out his hand.

Gabriel blinked. “What? Why?”

“The timer,” Adrien explained as he gestured emphatically for the ring. “It’s not exactly five minutes anymore, so I can’t count it in my head. Ring. Please.”

Gabriel’s face drained of all colour. “Adrien, you’re not going out there. It’s too dangerous.”

“He’s right,” Chloé laughed, breaking away from Kagami to grab Adrien’s arm. “What are you even talking about? Now’s not the time to accessorize. You’re coming to the basement with us.”

“I need to call your mother,” Gabriel muttered, pulling out his phone with a shaking hand and beginning to walk away.

“Plagg, transform me!” Adrien called, and in a flash of green light, Chat Noir stood before them, hand outstretched for his ring.

Kagami and Elise gasped. Chloé shrieked. Nino groaned. Gabriel stared.

“Sorry, but I have to go,” Chat informed gently yet firmly, entreating with his eyes. “People trust me with their lives. I don’t have the luxury of sitting this out because I’m not at the top of my game. Ring, please, Dad.”

Gabriel handed over the ring.

“Thank you,” Chat breathed with a smile and then turned to his friends. “Sorry for springing this on you and running. Obviously, it’s a secret, so please don’t tell anyone.” He looked at Nino. “Please make sure everyone gets to shelter. This looks like a nasty one.”

“Dude, I’m coming with you,” Nino snorted. “Do you seriously think you and Ladybug will be able to work as a cohesive team with everything going on between you? Plus, there’s no telling how long it will take her to show up. You’ve been lying in bed not eating for a week. How long do you realistically think you’ll last?”

Chat winced. “You’re right…on all counts…. Let’s go.”

“Thank you,” Nino sighed in relief. “Wayzz, transform me!”

Elise, Chloé, Kagami, and Gabriel’s mouths dropped open.

Chat turned to Gabriel. “Dad, take everyone down to one of the basement levels, okay? Don’t worry about Nathalie; I’ll keep an eye out for her. We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

Without another word, Chat Noir and Carapace jumped up to the windowpane Adrien kept unlocked for just such an emergency and were on their way.

 

“Do we have a plan?” Carapace wondered as they landed in a crouch on the edge of a rooftop overlooking where the sentimonster was stomping and waving its arms, throwing a fit and creating havoc but not really seeming to desire anything more than to draw attention.

“Normally, my plan is to wail on the monster and keep it distracted until Ladybug figures out where the amok is. I’m thinking we might want to try something different today,” Chat chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah. Different sounds good. I’m worried about you getting hurt. Don’t push yourself, Mec,” Carapace sighed as he tried to size up the sentimonster.

“Look,” Chat whispered, pointing to a nearby roof. “Behind that gable. Mayura.”

Carapace nodded. “Wanna try to sneak up and capture her?”

Chat bit his lip. “Could be a trap. She’s being sort of obvious, not really hiding well. The sentimonster is kind of acting like it’s trying to draw us out too. I don’t think we should both go in there.”

“I don’t know why you’re always so down on yourself with your ‘Ladybug is the brains of the operation; I’m just the distraction’,” Carapace laughed, bumping Chat’s shoulder with his own. “Look at you thinking strategically, making the plays.”

Chat chuckled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Yeah, well…necessity is the mother of… What’s that saying?”

“Dude, I think she’s spotted us,” Carapace gulped, putting out an arm in front of Chat, as if to protect him from Mayura.

Chat smiled wryly, manually lowering Carapace’s arm. “Okay. Here’s the plan. I’m going in there. If it starts looking bad, call Ladybug…and maybe…I don’t know. If it looks like it’ll help, try to cover me or something, but don’t engage her if it doesn’t look like you can take her. I know that’s not as elegant or convoluted as a Ladybug plan, but…something like that, okay?” He shot a sideways glance at Carapace.

“I don’t necessarily like it, but I’ve got it. If it looks bad I’ll ping Ladybug, and if it comes to it…[don’t worry, my friend. I will be your shield.](https://overwatch.fandom.com/wiki/Reinhardt/Quotes)”

Chat cracked up as he clapped Carapace on the shoulder. “Thanks man. Wish me luck because all of mine is bad.”

Carapace groaned, watching Chat pole vault to land on the gable overlooking Mayura.

“What have we here?” Chat purred, looming over her.

Mayura carefully stepped back along the edge of the roof, fanning herself lackadaisically, as if she wasn’t cornered. “You arrived faster than I expected.”

“You came back sooner than I would have liked,” Chat countered dryly.

“Good afternoon, Chat Noir,” she greeted, at ease.

“Is this a social call? I thought you and your boyfriend were retired,” Chat snorted. “Or did the old man have to take a medical leave of absence or something? Papillon _is_ getting on in years, isn’t he?”

Mayura gave a snort of amused laughter. “That’s actually what I lured you out to talk about today.”

“So this _is_ a social call.” Chat’s eyes narrowed, not trusting Mayura as far as the next rooftop.

“Papillon is retired,” she announced.

Chat scoffed. “May I ask the reason for this happy occasion? The creep terrorizes a city for half a decade only to suddenly give up?”

Mayura shifted ever so slightly, studying Chat before giving her response, “His priorities have changed…. He’s decided to focus on being a father.”

Chat’s eyes widened. “O-Oh? Um…congratulations? When are you due?”

The blue skin of Mayura’s face turned mauve as she looked away, a reflexive hand going to her stomach.

With some sympathy for Mayura’s flustered state, Chat cleared his throat and challenged, “So, why should I believe you? It feels like you’re telling me this to lull me off my guard. Sorry, but you two are notoriously tricky. Your MO is using other people. I have no reason to take your word for it that Papillon’s gone. I mean, he could change his mind at any time, and then where would I be?”

Mayura nodded, regaining her composure. “Right. It’s as you say. _That_ is the primary reason why I lured you here today. I intend to put your mind at ease and ensure that he _can’t_ go back, even if he wanted to.”

The sentimonster in the plaza below disappeared, turning back into a transforming robot toy as a white feather gently floated away on the breeze.

Mayura lifted a hand, warning, “Please don’t drop this. It’s old and priceless.”

Chat frowned in confusion. He opened his mouth to seek clarification, but she cut him off.

“Catch.”

His instincts kicked in, and he reached for the brooch, snatching it out of the air and then staring at it in the center of his palm in bafflement, not at first registering what it was.

He looked up to ask Mayura, but she was gone.

He blinked down at the lavender gemstone. A spark of recognition flickered in his chest, and he sucked in a deep breath.

“…Noo…roo…was it? Can you hear me?” he whispered.

The brooch seemed to pulse in response.

“Dude! What did she give you?” Carapace called as he landed on the roof two meters off.

Chat’s fingers clenched around the Butterfly Miraculous. He spun to face Carapace, his hand going behind his back. “N-Nothing.”

Carapace frowned, arching an eyebrow skeptically. “Chat Noir, I _saw_ her toss you something. Why so jumpy?”

Chat bit his lip, grip tightening around the brooch. He could feel the edges of it cutting into his palm through the glove.

“Mec,” Carapace chided, hands going to his hips. “What did she say to you? You look spooked.”

Chat swallowed hard and slowly brought his hand around in front between them, cautiously loosening his fingers one at a time.

Carapace stared down uncomprehendingly. “What is it? A cabochon?”

Chat unzipped his left pocket and stowed the Miraculous inside so that nothing else could happen to it. He cleared his throat. “It’s Papillon’s Miraculous. Mayura said he was retiring to be a father.”

Carapace’s eyes flew wide, a gobsmacked look on his face as he exhaled an explosive, “What?! Wait. Dude. What?!” He reached for Chat’s pocket, but Chat dodged.

“Whoa! Hey!” Chat protested, leaping back.

“Mec, we gotta get that back to Fu. Like, yesterday. Like, last week. Like, two hundred years ago,” Carapace insisted.

“Dude, where’s the fire?” Chat demanded, taking another step back. “It’s not like you have to take it right this second.”

“Chat Noir, that thing is dangerous,” Carapace reminded, voice on edge.

Chat shook his head. “No. _This_ thing is dangerous.” He held up his right hand, emphasizing the ring. “Period. I’ve got the apocalypse on my finger. I know a thing or two about dangerous. The Butterfly Miraculous is only dangerous if misused, and I don’t plan on akumatizing anyone with it. It can hang out with me for a few days.”

Carapace gnawed on his lip nervously. “What if you lose it?”

Chat stared at Carapace, expression utterly deadpan.

Carapace sighed. “Okay. Yeah. Sorry. It’s just…that thing has been wreaking havoc on Paris for five years. I’ll sleep better once it’s back in its box where it belongs. Dude, you know I’m right.”

Chat made a disgruntled noise. “Objectively, but…”

“But?” Carapace prompted.

Chat shifted restlessly, playing with his ring, spinning it on his finger like Adrien did when he was agitated.

“Chat Noir,” Carapace called gently.

Chat shook his head. “It’s going to sound stupid.”

“No it’s not,” Carapace assured. “Come on, Kitten. Talk to me.”

Chat Noir remained mute, looking down at the tiles of the roof, contemplating how overly sensitive he was being.

“All right,” Carapace sighed after enough time had passed to be certain Chat wasn’t answering. “But we have to tell Ladybug.” He activated the phone function in his shield.

“No!” Chat cried, leaping forward to press the call end button.

“Dude,” Carapace snorted, mildly put out.

“You can’t tell her yet. She’ll make me send him back,” Chat tried to reason.

Carapace frowned. “The Miraculous has a gender now? I know you get attached to things easily, Chat Noir, but—”

“—The kwami,” Chat corrected. “Nooroo.”

Carapace’s eyes widened. He lowered his arm, momentarily tabling the idea of informing Ladybug. “The kwami,” he repeated, beginning to nod.

“Hear me out,” Chat sighed, hand going to grip Carapace’s upper arm. “Nooroo’s been missing for nearly two centuries, right?”

Carapace nodded.

“And for the past five years, he’s been with Papillon. We know the creep’s a vicious nutjob. I don’t imagine he’s been taking very good care of his kwami. We don’t know where Nooroo’s been sleeping or what he’s been given to eat, how he’s been treated,” Chat listed, painting the worst-case scenario picture he had in his mind for his friend. “What if Papillon’s been starving Nooroo or pulling on his wings or-or…I don’t know what. But what if Nooroo is traumatized? Shouldn’t we make sure he’s okay before we lock him up in a box for who knows how long?”

Carapace bit his lip, seeing Chat’s argument.

“What if Papillon’s been keeping him confined? Shouldn’t we let Nooroo stretch his wings a bit? Shouldn’t we give him a good meal and let him sleep on a nice pillow? What if he’s not ready to go back in the box with the others? What if he’s ashamed of what happened, being used like that? What if he blames himself? What if the other kwamis are mean to him? What if he needs some time to process what happened and come to terms with it and learn how to love himself? Shouldn’t we let Nooroo decide what he wants?” Chat reasoned, a begging tone to his voice.

Carapace sighed, reaching out to pat Chat on the arm. “Okay. I think you’re projecting onto the kwami a little bit—”

“—I knew it would sound stupid,” Chat sighed, looking away.

“— _but_ ,” Carapace stressed, “I think your concerns are legitimate. You can take Nooroo home with you and make sure he’s okay.”

Chat gave a little hop and punched the air in triumph. “Yes!”

“We have to tell Ladybug and Fu, though,” Carapace informed. “This isn’t the type of thing we can keep them in the dark about. We _have_ to let them know. Wayzz is going to tell Fu anyway as soon as I take him back this evening.”

Chat deflated. “Oh, fine. Go ahead and tell them but tell them too that I’m not giving Nooroo back until he’s ready and willing to go. We can at least respect his wishes that much.”

“All right,” Carapace acquiesced easily. “I’ll tell them. I can’t control what they do in response, but I’ll tell them. Ready to head back?”

Reluctantly, Chat nodded.

 

When they made it back to the Mansion, the boys spent a good thirty minutes under interrogation by Chloé, Elise, and, to a lesser extent, Kagami.

Nathalie, who had arrived at the Mansion only a fraction of a minute before Chat Noir and Carapace, spent the Inquisition pointedly avoiding Gabriel’s comical, “what the hell?!” gaze and deflecting each “Nathalie, can I talk to you?” and “Nathalie, if we could just step into the next room for a minute?” and “Nathalie, there’s something I urgently need to speak with you about.” with assurances that they would talk later once they’d finished their discussion with Adrien and his friends.

“I’m very interested in Adrien’s answers to Miss Bourgeois’s questions,” she explained as Chloé quizzed Adrien on everything from why the bell to if he knew who Ladybug was. “We’ll talk later, Gabriel.”

Gabriel, put out at being kept in the dark, tried several times to cut in on Chloé and ask what had happened with the sentimonster, but Chloé was having none of it.

“They obviously defeated it, if they’re here,” Chloé scoffed. “My Adri-chou has been running around Paris as a cat-boy for five years. There are more pressing issues than that ridiculous sentimonster to be dealt with!”

These “pressing issues” ranged from critique of sartorial choices to jumping down Adrien’s throat for reckless behavior as a superhero to what Chat Noir’s favourite spot around Paris to take in the view was.

Nino did not get questioned so thoroughly about his own part-time superheroing stint. Oddly enough, he was more than okay with that.

A literal half hour into the scene, Chloé finally asked about the fight with the sentimonster.

Gabriel and Nathalie tensed.

“Mayura was actually just luring us out to tell us Papillon was retiring,” Adrien explained, careful to leave out all mention of the Butterfly Miraculous.

Kagami snorted as if insulted. “She expects us to believe her?”

“Don’t trust those people, Adrien,” Chloé cautioned heatedly. “They’re tricky.”

Kagami nodded vehemently. “They subsist on using and manipulating people. I believe this is what they call an obvious trap.”

“Maybe so,” Adrien agreed, “but I think there might be something to it…at least in the short term. Mayura and Papillon are having a baby.”

“What?!” Gabriel exclaimed, staring at his son for a moment before whipping his head to the left to gawk at Nathalie who was putting a hand to her temple and rubbing, trying to fight off a migraine.

Adrien shrugged. “Don’t be so surprised, Dad. I mean it’s obvious they’re an item, and they’re not _that_ old, so it’s not unthinkable.”

“Adrien, what _exactly_ did Mayura tell you?” Nathalie prompted.

“She said that Papillon was retiring to focus on being a father,” he reported.

“Oh.” Gabriel’s heartrate and breathing went back to normal. “I see. That’s…good.”

“They’ll probably come back in a year or so,” Chloé reasoned. “Once the baby is a little older and they can leave it with a nanny.”

“Maybe.” Nino shrugged. “…Okay. I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Gang, what do you say we head out and let Adrien rest?”

Reluctantly, the girls all agreed, giving Adrien bear-like hugs and kisses on the cheeks as they said their goodbyes.

Afterward, Adrien headed for his room while Gabriel took Nathalie by the hand and gently marched her into his upstairs office for an interrogation of her own.

 

Adrien took the Butterfly Miraculous from his pocket and studied it for a moment as Plagg floated nearby.

The kwami seemed agitated, flitting high and low, peering down at the Miraculous with a worried expression on his face. “What you said to Hat-Boy was really nice, about making sure Nooroo is okay, but maybe we should leave that to Maître Fu,” Plagg suggested. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea. I mean, what if Nooroo’s gone totally insane, cracked under the pressure of torture? That’s not something you can deal with.”

“Maybe not,” Adrien admitted softly. “But I’m going to try. I don’t know, Plagg, but I just kept thinking…what if it were you?”

Plagg stopped fidgeting and really looked at his chosen.

“What if _you_ had been the one lost and held prisoner? What if you were alone and being mistreated? I’d want someone to make sure you were okay too,” Adrien reasoned. “I mean, Nooroo has had plenty of other holders before Papillon, right? Surely there have been people who have felt about him the same way I feel about you.”

Plagg floated in to nuzzle Adrien’s cheek. “You’re such a sap, Kitten.”

“I love you too, Plagg,” Adrien chuckled, pinning the brooch to his shirt.

In a little pop of light, a terrified-looking lavender butterfly appeared, eyes shifting this way and that as he shivered and tried to make himself look even smaller than he already was, wings folding in on himself.

His eyes trained on Adrien and then slid over to Plagg. “Chat Noir,” Nooroo whispered. “You are indeed Adrien Agreste.”

“You can just call me ‘Adrien’. It’s nice to meet you Nooroo.” Adrien tentatively held out a hand, palm up, for Nooroo to perch on.

Nooroo stared at Adrien, bewildered. “Where…? The Maître and the Maîtresse…they…?”

“You’re safe now,” Adrien coaxed, indicating the brooch pinned to his shirt. “They can’t get you anymore. You’re with me.”

Nooroo’s eyes widened. “You…are my new master?”

“I’m your new _friend_ ,” Adrien corrected. “For as long as you want. You can stay here with me until you’re ready to go back to the Guardian and the other kwamis. Unless you want to go back right now,” Adrien hastily added. “You don’t _have_ to stay with me if you don’t want to. I just thought that you’d want a little vacation maybe, but you can go home any time you want. Just say the word and I’ll drop you off with my friend who knows where the Guardian lives, and he’ll take you home.”

Nooroo blinked uncomprehendingly. “My home is there.” He pointed to the Miraculous. “You mean to return me to the Miracle Box? I do not understand…‘vacation’.”

Adrien returned Nooroo’s blink with interest. “You know, I’ve never been on vacation either, but it’s supposed to be when you don’t have to work and you get to go fun places and eat food that you like and get dessert every day. I was thinking…since you’ve had a rough last two hundred years…that you deserved a vacation before you go back to the Miracle Box with the other kwamis.”

Nooroo nodded slowly. “A vacation…I think that I would very much like a vacation, Master.” Tentatively he alighted on Adrien’s palm and bowed. “I am Nooroo. I am at your service, Master.”

“Uh, thanks, Nooroo, but you don’t have to call me ‘Master’. Just ‘Adrien’ is fine,” Adrien assured, wanting to nip this in the bud before it became a habit. He wasn’t really comfortable being anyone’s master.

Nooroo blinked innocently. “But…that’s disrespectful. You are my master. I should show my respect and obedience.”

Adrien shook his head, carefully reaching out a finger to stroke Nooroo from the top of his head down his back between the wings. “Nooroo, I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with Papillon, but things aren’t going to be like that anymore. I’m your _friend_. You don’t serve me. _Plagg_ doesn’t serve me. We’re partners…and I want to be your partner too. You can just call me by my name…or, if you like, you can use a nickname. Plagg calls me ‘Kid’ or ‘Kitten’ a lot. If there’s something like that that you want to call me, that’s fine too. Okay?”

Nooroo bit his lip, looking troubled even as he leaned into Adrien’s finger. “I do not know…. It does not feel right to refer to an owner by name. I am not comfortable simply using your name like an equal.”

“Then how about you call him ‘Adrien-bocchama’?” Plagg, who had been unusually silent as he tensely watched the scene unfolding, suggested.

Adrien groaned. “ _Plagg_.”

Nooroo looked back and forth between the two. “‘Bocchama’?” he tested the word on his tongue.

“It means ‘young master’ in Japanese,” Plagg snickered. “This guy is a total dork. He’s always reading Japanese manga and watching Japanese anime. ‘Bocchama’ is what they use to refer to rich young men. Try it. He’ll love.”

“Plagg,” Adrien whined.

Nooroo looked up at Adrien and smiled. “Adrien-bocchama,” he sang as he bowed.

Adrien’s cheeks turned peppermint red.

“See?” Plagg laughed. “He loves it!”

“Adrien-bocchama,” Nooroo repeated, wings giving a pleased flutter. “I like it. It has a nice sound.”

“Oh, all right,” Adrien sighed, not nearly as bothered as he was pretending to be. “I can live with that if it makes you comfortable. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get you settled in. You must be hungry. What would you like to eat, Nooroo?”

Nooroo’s eyes went wide. “Eat? But I haven’t transformed you. I do not need to eat.”

Adrien frowned quizzically. “Okay. Yeah, but…that doesn’t mean that you’re not hungry, does it? Plagg is always hungry. Do you _want_ to eat?”

Nooroo stared at Adrien uncomprehendingly. “I’m not allowed to eat unless I need to.”

Adrien returned the kwami’s confused gaze for a minute and then took a deep breath to keep from futilely getting angry at Nooroo’s kwami-abusing former owner. “Okay. New rule. You’re with me now, and I say you can eat whenever you want. If you really feel weird about it, we can transform later, okay? But, for now, what can I get you to eat, Nooroo?”

Nooroo’s eyes started to mist over as tears of gratitude and joy filled them. “I can have whatever I want? Not just apple juice?”

“You never have to drink apple juice again if you don’t want,” Adrien assured, giving the kwami a few more gentle strokes from his head down his back. “What do you _like_ to eat, Nooroo?”

Nooroo’s amethyst eyes became large and round as he hesitantly replied, “I like…fruit. Particularly bananas, but any fruit is good if it’s cut up. You wouldn’t happen to have any bananas…would you?” He looked up at Adrien with hopeful eyes.

It was kind of painful to watch. It made Adrien really want to track Papillon down and make him pay for what he’d done. For a moment, the thought of asking Nooroo to reveal Papillon’s identity and lead him and the rest of the team to Papillon’s hideout to bring him to justice flitted through Adrien’s mind, but he quickly dismissed the idea. He didn’t want to put Nooroo in that position. He didn’t want to drag the kwami back through all his trauma. He wanted Nooroo to put Papillon behind him and move forward. There would likely be no proof tying civilian Papillon to the supervillain. It would just be Nooroo’s word. Adrien didn’t want to put Nooroo through the ordeal of making police statements and testifying. It probably wasn’t even a good idea for regular people to find out about kwamis. There were all kinds of complications to taking down Papillon now that he’d given up his Miraculous and retired. As much as Adrien believed that a man like that needed to be punished for what he had done…if it were true that Papillon had retired to devote himself to his family…how could Adrien take a father from his child? Adrien has grateful every day for his own father’s change of heart and presence in his life. How could Adrien rob another child of that second chance? …Even if the kid’s dad was scum.

All Adrien could do was hope that Papillon really had turned his life around and wouldn’t stray again.

“I can definitely get you some bananas, Nooroo,” Adrien promised with a wide grin. “I’m going to run to the kitchen, but I’ll be back in just a minute, okay? You and Plagg stay here.” He looked to his kwami. “Plagg, could you please show Nooroo around and teach him the rules while I’m gone?”

“On it,” Plagg promised as Adrien set Nooroo down on his bed and started towards the door.

Adrien paused when a thought occurred to him. “Uh…actually…this brooch is kind of…conspicuous. I don’t know if I can wear this in public.”

“Do you have a cravat or a scarf you could hide it under?” Nooroo suggested.

Plagg stiffened.

Adrien shrugged. “Cravats are more of my dad’s thing. Um…I mean…I guess I could keep it in my pocket or…” A vision of the Miraculous falling out of his pocket flashed through his mind accompanied by Nino’s concerns about Adrien losing the Miraculous.

“You could redesign it,” Plagg weighed in, looking at Nooroo. “It doesn’t have to be a brooch, does it? That’s just what it typically is?”

Nooroo nodded. “Just concentrate on what you want it to look like. It should respond to your thoughts.”

“Like when I’m focusing on changing something about my Chat Noir costume?” Adrien inquired, tipping his head to the side, gazing back at the kwamis.

Plagg gave an encouraging nod. “Try it.”

Adrien took off the brooch and held it out in the palm of his hand, closing his eyes and visualizing what he wanted.

The Miraculous shifted, and when Adrien opened his eyes once more, he was holding a single lavender bead on a black chord.

“What is it, Adrien-bocchama?” Nooroo wondered curiously.

“An ankle bracelet,” Adrien explained, slipping off his left shoe and sliding the bracelet around his ankle, adjusting it so that it wasn’t too loose or too snug.

“Huh,” Plagg remarked. “Interesting choice.”

Adrien shrugged, resuming his quest for bananas. “I think they look cool, and people won’t be able to see it, so it should be safe.”

“Reasonable,” Nooroo agreed.

Adrien gave a wave over his shoulder and disappeared out into the foyer.

Plagg turned on Nooroo, brandishing his claws at the other kwami. “Don’t you dare say a word about his father. To him, to anyone,” Plagg hissed.

Nooroo backed away in alarm, hands up in submission.

Plagg advanced. “Maybe you’ve noticed, but that is a _good_ kid. He’s going through some stuff right now, and finding out his father was a domestic terrorist and that stuff about his mother in the basement— _that_ —would absolutely devastate him. Do you hear me?”

Nooroo nodded vigorously, completely taken aback at this sudden confrontation.

“So keep your mouth shut. Not a word about Papillon and Mayura. Adrien is probably going to tell his parents about you eventually. He’s probably going to introduce you. When that happens, you can pretend to be shy and scared of people, but don’t you dare let on that you know them. You understand? You have never met them before in your life.”

Nooroo, trembling, continued to nod.

“If Adrien found out, it would wreck him,” Plagg spat, “and I am not letting my kid’s kindness in taking you in come back to bite him like that. Nobody hurts my kitten.”

Plagg finally took a deep breath and lowered his claws, studying Nooroo. “…Sorry. Are you okay?”

Nooroo’s vehement nod turned timid. “I won’t say a word. I would never betray a master like that.”

The response gave Plagg pause. “Not even Gabriel? Not even after how he treated you?”

Nooroo’s wings gave a nervous flutter. “The Maître is complicated. I know you do not sense emotions like I do, Plagg, so I don’t expect you can tell, but there has been much pain in the Maître’s life. He suffers greatly, and his suffering makes him desperate. That’s why he behaves the way he does. I pity him. He was a hard master, but he was my master all the same.”

Plagg bit his lip. “He’s been getting better these past two months. He’s working really hard to repair things with Adrien…. That’s helped me forgive him for a lot of things.”

“I’m glad. He could use some forgiveness in his life. It would help to thaw his heart. He’s become so hardened. He is in sore need of grace,” Nooroo sighed.

“…I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Plagg mumbled shamefacedly. “I’m a little protective of my kid, and your presence here… You’re a threat, Nooroo.”

Nooroo nodded. “I can understand that. From what I have seen over the years, Adrien-bocchama is a very sweet boy. He’s very loving and easy to hurt. It is a shame that he finds himself in the circumstances he is in. He has a very warm smile…. I think I would like to protect that smile too.”

Plagg gave Nooroo a weary but appreciative grin. “I’m glad to hear it…. So. I’m supposed to be showing you around and laying down the rules. Let’s start simple. This is my pillow. This is my sock drawer,” Plagg began the tour, flitting around to each object and showing it off with a grand gesture. “This is the cabinet where I keep some of my cheeses. This is the minifridge where I keep the rest of my cheeses. Do not touch my things. This is important, so I’m going to say it again: touch my things, and we will have a problem.”

Nooroo nodded, committing the rules to memory.

When Adrien returned with a dish of chopped fruit, he had to clarify that he’d meant for Plagg to explain about internet and TV usage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? What do we think of Nooroo? I'm having a lot of fun with him. He's so cute! ^.^ I feel bad for having Plagg be such a jerk to him after poor Nooroo's been through so much, but I honestly think Plagg's allegiance would be with Adrien and making sure that Nooroo's presence didn't produce harmful results for Adrien. Plagg loves his kitten, even if he won't admit it.
> 
> And I think Adrien wouldn't press Nooroo for information on Papillon and would let the issue drop so long as Papillon stayed gone, given the reason Mayura gave especially. Did Adrien's reasoning in the chapter make sense to you? You don't have to agree with his reasoning, but I'm just wondering if you think the reasoning is logical or makes sense given Adrien's character. I think Adrien would really empathize with Nooroo and with Papillon's child and not want to hurt them so long as Papillon was really no longer a threat. To me, Adrien doesn't seem super justice-driven. I think he cares more about people (and kwamis) than seeing justice served, so I think he'd choose the path that would cause the least amount of harm, even if that meant that Papillon was never punished.
> 
> Did anyone catch Nino's Overwatch reference? ^.^; No? That's okay. Adrien did.
> 
> I'll see you next week on Friday, 12/13/2019, guys! Take care!
> 
> References:  
> “…I will be your shield.”: https://overwatch.fandom.com/wiki/Reinhardt/Quotes


	34. Butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Nathalie need to have a talk about decisions that should be made as a couple.  
> Steampunk.  
> Unintended barbs and critique of supervillainy.  
> Swallowtail goes sightseeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! So, I apologize in advance that I did not have the opportunity to edit this to my satisfaction. My parents are out of town for the week, so my brother and I are trying to keep the house clean on top of working and school. 
> 
> And, of course, my job decided to be evil Wednesday night. National Coordinating Counsel emailed us after close of business asking for us to review all four hundred-ish of our cases and report the requested information in less than forty-eight hours. One of our teammates is out until Monday because of a medical procedure, and another is down with pneumonia. My immediate team is five people. The one with pneumonia is attending a deposition by phone from bed because we have multiple depositions and court hearings that our team is scrambling to cover. So that leaves D and me to do this project on top of taking care of the day-to-day minutiae that it takes to keep our cases running. Translation: I'm living out of my office, and I'm going to be at work all weekend. At least they gave us an extension until Tuesday, but...it's still a nasty business. :/
> 
> Okay. Thanks for listening to me whine! ^.^ You can go read the chapter now. ^.^; Enjoy!

Gabriel looked up from his control panel screen and repeated, “What made you think it was a good idea to give that thing to our son?” at Nathalie for the fiftieth time in three hours.

Nathalie pushed her chair back from her desk and sighed for the fiftieth time, “He’s not keeping it, Gabriel. He’s probably already returned it to the Guardian. Relax.”

“I should go check on him.”

“You should finish that commission for Her Ladyship’s wedding dress,” Nathalie corrected. “I’m sure Adrien is resting. He’s likely tired after such an eventful day.”

Gabriel stared at his screen. The nascent monstrosity staring back at him vaguely resembled the unholy union of a poorly-arranged nosegay and an overenthusiastic lace doily. He scrapped the design entirely.

“Art block. I’m taking a break,” he announced, putting his screen to sleep before marching out into the foyer and up the stairs to Adrien’s room.

He gave the door a perfunctory knock and then barged in to find no trace of his son. Instead, he discovered two enormous butterfly wings peeking out over the back of the couch: black fading into indigo melting into an iridescent blue.

“A…drien?” Gabriel called uncertainly, unsure of what he was seeing.

The person to whom the wings were attached pushed themselves up from where they had been lying on their stomach on the couch and grinned.

This young man was in no way recognizable as Gabriel’s son.

He wore a black velvet [top hat](https://www.google.com/search?q=steampunk+top+hat&rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS779US779&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwicxP-um8DlAhVPip4KHWaDAe8Q_AUIEygC&biw=1366&bih=625) decorated with an elaborate assortment of chains and cogs. A pair of goggles perched on the brim.

Gabriel would never let his son wear something so ridiculous. Also blacklisted was the trail of small, silver hoops wrapping around the outer shell of the left ear.

The young man’s hair was a dark, inky black to match his wings, and it was cut short in the back but long and messy up top, wild bangs spilling down into icy blue eyes.

He wasn’t wearing a mask. Instead, blue and black butterfly wings like [face paint](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS779US779&tbm=isch&q=butterfly+face+paint&chips=q:butterfly+face+paint,g_1:blue:RaFR2sKECN4%3D&usg=AI4_-kQ1trGfxUPq4YgDmpGoEXqpc5105Q&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwijlIHym8DlAhVDpZ4KHVhTAnYQ4lYINSgG&biw=1366&bih=625&dpr=1) were airbrushed on, starting at the corners under his eyes and following the line of his cheek down.

“Dad. Hey.” The young man got to his feet and waved, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. The voice was Adrien’s, but…

His clothing was nice, tailored. Dress clothes reminiscent of the Victorian style: a long-sleeved shirt, a vest, a tie. That was where the similarities ended. Multiple [belts](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS779US779&biw=1366&bih=625&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=h4i3XbP9PNGQtQWiioDgBA&q=steampunk+belts&oq=steampunk+belts&gs_l=img.3..0l2.59238.62980..63522...0.0..0.268.1878.1j13j1......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67.eO8AaZLdroY&ved=0ahUKEwjz3LT4m8DlAhVRSK0KHSIFAEwQ4dUDCAc&uact=5) wrapped around his waist like amorous vines, and his dress pants tucked into [mid-calf boots](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS779US779&biw=1366&bih=625&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=yYi3XZ6GAcrV-gTOp4KQDw&q=steampunk+boots&oq=steampunk+boots&gs_l=img.3..0l10.79571.83136..83349...2.0..0.165.1148.1j9......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67.JmGPkrSYbcA&ved=0ahUKEwjejrWXnMDlAhXKqp4KHc6TAPIQ4dUDCAc&uact=5) covered in buckles and chains. Everything was in variegated shades of black and blue, blending together, smearing into one another: indigo, Egyptian, cobalt, Persian, lapis, and aquamarine. All of it shined in an almost ethereal light.

Adrien’s wings fluttered nervously, and he cleared his throat. “So…I was going to tell you later, but…when Mayura told me Papillon was retiring, she actually handed over his Miraculous, so…um…we’re going to have a new kwami living with us for a bit until he feels well enough to go home. Papillon was really nasty to him, so it may take a little while for him to recover, but his name is Nooroo. I think you’ll like him. He’s really adorable.”

Gabriel’s brain screeched to a halt, and he couldn’t get it to restart. The gears ground futilely against one another, completely stuck.

His second thought was that he was going to have a talk with Nathalie about their need to communicate better and discuss _as a couple_ big, important decisions like giving their son a dangerous Miraculous.

Gabriel’s first thought was, “Steampunk? Adrien… _steampunk_?”

Adrien chuckled bashfully, a blush spreading over his cheeks. “Surprise? I like steampunk? You’re not going to disown me because of my fashion sense, are you?” His nervous smile slowly faded into a concerned frown.

Gabriel removed his glasses to rub at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “No. I could get over the leather cat suit. I can get over the steampunk outfit. It’s not as if anyone will ever know it’s you. You look nothing like yourself.”

“The facial structure’s still the same,” Plagg volunteered sullenly, a little miffed that his chosen was transforming with other kwamis.

Gabriel looked again, studying his son’s face. He nodded. “Yes. Particularly around the eyes…. More importantly, Adrien, what are you doing? Detransform this instant. That Miraculous is incredibly dangerous. You don’t need to be exposed to a constant onslaught of all of Paris’s negativity. It will drive you insane,” Gabriel insisted, holding out his hand. “Detransform and give it here. Nathalie can keep it safe until you go tomorrow to take it back where it belongs.”

Adrien laughed, waving away his father’s concerns. “It’s not dangerous, Dad. It’s fine so long as you don’t abuse its powers. I was reading the instruction manual,” Adrien paused to grab his cane sword from the couch and show it to Gabriel.

“There’s an instruction manual?” Gabriel muttered in chagrined confusion, irritation building into a migraine at the base of his skull.

“and you can actually tune into all kinds of emotions,” Adrien explained, not hearing his father. “Right now I’m dialed in to positive emotions: joy, contentment, love, amusement, bravery…. You can do positive or negative emotions in general or focus on a particular emotion specifically. See? It’s fine,” Adrien insisted with a wide grin and a giddy laugh.

“I mean, the only thing wrong is that these wings are in the way. But I really like the wings. I’ve always wanted wings,” Adrien informed, talking fast and giving his wings a thoughtful flutter.

“Are you certain you’re all right?” Gabriel wondered, feeling very much concerned at Adrien’s slightly manic behavior.

“Oh! I have an idea!” Adrien announced, closing his eyes and concentrating.

The wings melted into a black and blue tailcoat that very much resembled the wings of a [pipevine swallowtail butterfly](https://www.google.com/search?q=pipevine+swallowtail+butterfly&rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS779US779&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiJkNGPlMDlAhUD7awKHVPpBNUQ_AUIEigB&biw=1366&bih=625).

“There!” Adrien cheered. “See? I’m fine. _Great_ even. I can feel the happiness of Paris coursing through me, and it is a _rush_!”

Adrien gave a little spin, laughing harder as the tails of his jacket flared out.

Gabriel frowned in horror at the entire situation.

“I wonder if this is what being on drugs feels like,” Adrien giggled happily.

But then he saw the panic on his father’s face.

Adrien bit his lip. “Um…perhaps I should turn the sensitivity on this thing down…or turn it off,” he suggested. “Yeah. Off is good. Hold on a sec.” Adrien closed his eyes, a look of concentration spreading across his face once again. “Done,” he announced, eyes snapping open. “Sorry,” he added sheepishly.

Gabriel just stared. “You can turn your ability to sense emotions _off_?” If he had only known, it would have saved him countless sleepless nights and hundreds of headaches from the constant overflow of negative emotion. Why had Nooroo never told him? _Had_ Nooroo ever tried to tell him? Had Gabriel ignored the kwami or silenced Nooroo before he had a chance to speak?

Gabriel’s stomach soured at the thought of his former kwami and how he had treated the little creature.

“Yeah,” Adrien answered, unaware of the internal struggle occurring. “You can do a lot of things with the Butterfly Miraculous. I can scan a single person’s emotional state or take in another person’s emotions and experience them as if they were my own or—”

“—Adrien,” Gabriel cut his son off, shaking his head and rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “Could you please detransform for a minute?”

Adrien pressed his lips together and considered his father momentarily before muttering, “Detransformation,” with a sigh.

There was a flash of purple light, and Nooroo appeared, trembling.

Gabriel locked eyes with the kwami, and Nooroo shrank. Gabriel flinched.

Adrien gently took Nooroo into his cupped hands and gingerly cradled the kwami to his chest like a baby. “It’s okay. It’s just my dad. Gabriel Agreste. He’s not going to hurt you,” Adrien whispered to Nooroo, giving the kwami a reassuring nuzzle.

He turned to his father. “This is Nooroo. He’s kind of skittish,” he explained. “Papillon has been abusing him for the past five years, so he’s a little traumatized. Please be patient with him, okay?”

Gabriel nodded absently as terror seized him at the realization that Nooroo could be his and Nathalie’s undoing. All it would take would be a single word, and Nooroo could bury them.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nooroo,” he heard himself say. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that Papillon…” His voice cracked. “I’m very sorry.”

Adrien didn’t seem to notice the emotion in Gabriel’s voice. His focus was on the butterfly kwami. “Are you hungry, Nooroo? How about we get a snack?” He stroked from the top of Nooroo’s head down the kwami’s back as he walked over to the mini fridge, getting out a small ball of mozzarella for Plagg and a pecan tassie-sized banana cream pie for Nooroo.

Gabriel’s face burned with shame. His heart clenched as he watched his son care for the small creature and wondered how his child had learned to be so loving. It certainly wasn’t from Gabriel. Gabriel had never been a nurturer. Émilie’s imperfect love had found a receptive audience in Adrien, and Adrien had taken that love and internalized it, reflecting it back out tenfold. Whereas Émilie had been reserved and only showed affection to a chosen few, Adrien was warm and caring to one and all.

Plagg came to land on Gabriel’s shoulder, interrupting Gabriel’s thoughts.

“Plagg?” He tensed, expecting some choice words from the cat kwami.

Plagg cleared his throat and then whispered so low that Gabriel could barely hear him, “I don’t think we have anything to worry about from Nooroo. He’s not talking. I’ll keep an eye on him, but he basically told me that he’s not a snitch, so I don’t think this is going to be a problem.”

“O-Oh.” Gabriel blinked, thrown. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Plagg confirmed, the syllable reflecting his own incredulity. “We’re lucky that Nooroo is loyal to a fault and doesn’t hold a grudge like I do.”

“Plagg? Are you coming?” Adrien looked back at his kwami in confusion. “You’re not feeling sick, are you? Don’t you want this cheese?”

“Coming!” Plagg assured, turning back to narrow his eyes at Gabriel. “I _do_ hold grudges, by the way. Don’t think just because we’ve been friendly these past few weeks since you turned over a new leaf that I’m going to let you off scot-free for what you did to Nooroo. Know that every hole you find in your socks and your ties, you more than deserve.”

Gabriel nodded resignedly. “If that’s all the punishment I get, I suppose I should consider myself lucky.”

With an affirmative nod, Plagg whizzed off to devour the defenseless cheese.

Adrien gave Plagg a little scritch behind the ear and Nooroo a little pat on the head before rejoining his father over by the couch. “What were you and Plagg whispering about?”

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably. “He was talking to me about Nooroo…. Apparently, Nooroo has no plans to reveal Papillon’s identity?”

Adrien shrugged, looking back at his kwamis as they each savored their treats. “I wasn’t going to press. It sounds like Nooroo had a pretty traumatic experience.” Adrien missed how his father winced. “I don’t want to summon old ghosts for him. He’s supposed to be here to feel better and have a vacation from all of that. Besides, if it’s really true that Papillon is retiring to devote himself to his family…” Adrien shook his head. “I don’t know. There’s no doubt that that monster should pay for all the people he’s hurt, but…why should his kid have to pay? I’d rather we all just move on.”

Gabriel nodded slowly. “You…really think that Papillon is a monster?”

Adrien frowned up at his father. “The guy threw me off a building when I was fourteen. Yeah, I was wearing the suit, so I probably would have been okay, but…who throws a kid off a building? Who akumatizes a _baby_? Who drowns a third of the population of Paris or lets their akuma knock down a skyscraper with people inside? Who sets monsters loose on a city every week for five years just to steal magical jewelry from children?”

Gabriel looked away, struggling to find the words to defend himself. “…A very…desperate man…I think.”

Adrien shook his head. “What could possibly be worth all of that?”

“…Your mother,” Gabriel croaked.

Adrien turned to really look at Gabriel, surprised.

“…I would do it for your mother,” Gabriel confessed. “…If I thought I could bring her back.”

Adrien tentatively rested a hand on Gabriel’s upper arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “No, you wouldn’t.”

Gabriel looked up, about to tell his son that he would, that he _had_ , but then the soft smile on Adrien’s face registered, the trust evident in his son’s eyes. He couldn’t tell him. Gabriel had no right to free himself from his guilt. It would only hurt Adrien.

“In order for your wish to be granted, someone would have to die. Someone else would lose a person that they loved. It’s like wishing on a monkey’s paw. The wish isn’t free, Dad. Maman wouldn’t want that. Maman wouldn’t want _any_ of what Papillon has done pursuing his own wish.” Adrien gave Gabriel’s arm a reassuring pat.

Gabriel’s voice died in his throat, leaving him to nod speechlessly.

A measure of silence passed during which the kwamis finished their snacks and came back to Adrien.

Plagg landed on Adrien’s left shoulder, and Nooroo timidly hid behind Adrien’s arm.

Gabriel frowned. “If there’s anything that Nooroo needs to get settled in, you’ll let me know?”

Adrien nodded, smiling brightly at his father showing interest in their guest. “Yes. Thank you. Probably just another pillow, but I’ll contact Nathalie if there’s anything major.”

Gabriel bit his lip. “And…how long is Nooroo going to be with us again?”

Adrien shrugged, scooping up the butterfly kwami and cradling him to his chest once more. “As long as he wants. Maybe a few days…a few weeks…a few months…as long as he wants,” Adrien repeated.

Gabriel nodded slowly, studying his son and the kwami. “I see….” It was then that he noticed the rather conspicuous absence of the Butterfly Miraculous. “Adrien, where is the brooch?” he asked, not pausing to think that Gabriel Agreste had no way of knowing what the Miraculous looked like.

Luckily for Gabriel, Adrien didn’t register the slip. “Safe. I changed its appearance. I mean, the brooch wasn’t really me.”

Gabriel grimaced. “And I suppose that, like your ring, the Butterfly Miraculous can’t be taken away from you simply by taking away the vessel?”

“Yep,” Adrien lied. He hadn’t yet invested any time into training with the new Miraculous, but his father didn’t need to know that. “So there’s no point trying to find it and take it away from me. Nooroo’s staying put for as long as he needs. This is his home now.”

Nooroo looked up at Adrien with wide eyes blinking in awe. “You really mean that, Adrien-bocchama?”

Adrien grinned reassuringly down at the kwami, his smile full of warmth. “Of course. I meant it when I said that you could stay as long as you want. We’re happy to have you, aren’t we, Dad?” Adrien looked to Gabriel.

Gabriel blanched but nodded. “So long as…as you feel comfortable here, Nooroo. I…I would like to try to make up for what Papillon has done.”

Nooroo flew up out of Adrien’s hands to hover half a meter in front of Gabriel. “I appreciate that, Monsieur Agreste. The past few years have been very hard, but my former master was not a monster as Adrien-bocchama supposes. He was not cruel for the sake of cruelty. He was not kind because no one ever taught him to be kind. It is difficult to be kind when one has no concept of what kindness is. My former master did terrible things, and I do not condone his actions, but I do not condemn him as a person. He acted out of desperation in an attempt to end his suffering. I do not know if I will ever be able to forget these past five years, but I do not wish my former master ill. I hope he finds peace.”

Gabriel nodded, trying to keep from trembling, overwhelmed at the kwami’s reaction. It was so much easier to feel his own emotions now that they were the only ones in his head.

Nooroo returned the nod with a decided one of his own. An understanding had been reached. The kwami smiled hesitantly and then zipped back over to Adrien to nuzzle his new master’s cheek.

“Thank you very much for letting me stay with you, Monsieur Agreste,” Nooroo chuckled. “I’m already terribly fond of Adrien-bocchama. He’s been exceedingly good to me. He’s allowing me to have what is called a vacation where I am permitted to watch television and eat whenever I feel like it and sleep in Adrien-bocchama’s bed. Later, Adrien-bocchama and I are going to transform and fly around the city so that I can see the sights. My former master did not go out much, so I have only caught glimpses of the city. It appears to have changed much since the last time I was here. I’d love to get a closer look at that new, controversial structure they built that everyone is so crazy about.”

Adrien frowned. “The Montparnasse Tower? It’s not that new, Nooroo. I mean, wasn’t that thing built in the seventies?”

“That’s the one you jumped off of when your bodyguard was akumatized?” Nooroo verified.

Gabriel flinched.

Adrien groaned. “That’s not a fair description of events. I prefer, ‘fell off of for an extended period of time until Ladybug could rescue me’.”

Plagg snorted. “I feel that ‘willfully jumped off of due to stupidity and teenage male hormones’ is more accurate.”

Nooroo tipped his head to the side. “Regardless, that’s not the one I meant. Don’t get me wrong; I would enjoy visiting that one as well, but I meant the Eiffel Tower. They didn’t have that last time I was in Paris.”

Adrien let out a low whistle. “We’ll go there first. It’s, seriously, like, four blocks away.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened as he stared incredulously at his son. “You’re actually going to go out _flying_? With those wings I saw you with earlier? I forbid it. Adrien, those wings did not strike me as safe.”

Adrien shrugged sheepishly. “It’s _fine_ , Dad. Magical superpowers are deceptively simple. I mean, the first time I transformed with Plagg, I was using my baton as a tightrope to walk between buildings within ten minutes.”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?” Gabriel demanded, laughing in giddy anxiety at this knowledge. “Adrien, if anything, that only makes me worry that my son is reckless.”

“That anecdote was supposed to illustrate how simple magic powers are to use,” Adrien sighed, crossing his arms. “Dad, it’s fine.”

“It will _not_ be fine when you plummet to your death!” Gabriel hissed, trying to keep his voice down but not entirely succeeding.

“I’m not going to plummet to my death.” Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m taking Plagg with me too. Don’t worry. I’ll be all right.”

“No.” Gabriel put his foot down. “I forbid you from leaving this house. Hand over the Miraculous right now, Young Man.”

Adrien frowned at his father in disappointment. “Dad, I realize that you’re a little freaked out because you’re worried about me, but I’m technically legally an adult. You can’t forbid me from leaving the house. Even if you do, I’m just going to sneak out. I promised to take Nooroo sightseeing, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

Gabriel’s determined expression shifted into one of consternation when he realized that he wasn’t going to win.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll practice flying around my room for a bit before I take to the open sky,” Adrien offered, explaining, “I mean, as we’ve established, I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m suicidal yet. _I_ don’t want to plummet to my death either. I’ll be careful.”

“What if your wings get tired?” Gabriel inquired wearily, feeling the situation slipping away from him.

Adrien shrugged. “I’ll land somewhere and switch over to Plagg.”

“We’re not going to let anything bad happen to him, Gabe,” Plagg promised, and Nooroo nodded in agreement.

Gabriel sighed, stepping forward to pull Adrien into a hug. “All right. Be safe, Son.”

Adrien happily returned the embrace. “Don’t worry, Dad. I will.”

Gabriel made a mental note to have a _long_ discussion with his fiancée about communication, major decisions that needed to be made as a team, and giving their son dangerous Miraculouses.

 

“And voila!” Adrien announced as he landed on one of the crossbeams near the top of the Eiffel Tower. “What do you think? It’s awesome, right? It’s one of my favourite places to come sit and think and just…I don’t know…be. You can see everything up here.”

_“Absolutely astounding!”_ Nooroo remarked through their mental link.

It had taken Adrien years to learn to speak to Plagg while transformed, but he was pleased to find that the process worked in the same way with the Butterfly Miraculous and he was able to communicate with his new kwami while transformed about as easily as he had become able to speak with Plagg.

_“Thank you so much for taking me up here, Adrien-bocchama. This is too wonderful!”_

“What’s he saying?” Plagg asked, barely poking his head out of Adrien’s left shoulder.

“He loves it,” Adrien abridged, gazing out at his city and sighing contentedly. “…I love it.”

Plagg made a thoughtful noise. “It’s an easy place to love.”

They stayed there a good fifteen minutes taking in the views as Adrien pointed out the major landmarks. They flew up to the top of the tower and then circled back down, drawing the stares of tourists and locals alike.

Adrien was sitting on one of the lower girders in the north-most leg, explaining about the evolution of trains and the Musée d’Orsay when a balloon floated up into his vision.

He looked down to see a small child jumping up and down, screaming and crying at the loss as well as his mother vainly trying to placate her son.

“Welp, looks like it’s time to be a hero,” Adrien chuckled, unfolding his wings and chasing up after the balloon. He easily caught it by the tail and brought it back down to earth.

He landed in front of the wide-eyed child in a crouch and smiled brightly, holding out the balloon. “Did you lose this?”

The young boy nodded, grabbing hold of the string.

“Make sure you hold onto it more tightly next time, okay?” Adrien chuckled with a signature wink.

“Th-Thank you,” the boy’s mother stuttered, grabbing her child and pulling him away from the strange butterfly boy.

The boy exhibited no such paralyzing terror as he smiled at Adrien and asked, “Are you an akuma?”

Adrien laughed sheepishly. “An akuma? No. I guess I do kind of look like one, don’t I? No, I’m not an akuma; I’m a new hero like Chat Noir or Ladybug. My name is…Swallowtail,” he decided, nodding with satisfaction. “Have a nice day.”

With that, he took to the sky as a hundred tourists’ phones took pictures.

“You’re going to land us on the Ladyblog,” Plagg sighed.

“Paris will get used to me.” Adrien shrugged. “I’ll be old news by next week.”

_“We’re going to be going out often enough for Paris to get used to your appearance?”_ Nooroo asked with a hint of excitement in his voice.

“Yeah,” Adrien confirmed. “We’ll be going out often. I’ve been cooped up too much lately. It’ll be good for me to get some fresh air and stretch my wings.”

“Now that he has wings, he doesn’t need paws anymore,” Plagg snorted dejectedly.

“Oh, Plagg,” Adrien sighed, alighting on the Arc de Triomphe. “It’s not like that. Chat Noir will get a chance to stretch his legs too. Relax.”

Switching gears, Adrien pointed down at the chaotic traffic below as cars cut across ten unmarked lanes going round and round the monument in the center of the plaza.

“This is the Étoile.” Adrien quickly stopped himself with a roll of his eyes. “Okay, so it’s technically called ‘[Place Charles de Gaulle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Place_Charles_de_Gaulle)’, but a lot of people still call it the Étoile. I mean, look at the shape of all the streets feeding into the roundabout. It’s definitely a star.”

_“It’s very different from the last time I visited,”_ Nooroo observed. _“There weren’t all these cars. Oh, dear!”_ Nooroo jumped as a white sedan nearly plowed into the back of a black jeep. _“They’re all so reckless! My former master used to complain about the dangers of driving, but…I never truly believed it was as bad as all that. Now I’m beginning to change my mind.”_

Adrien laughed gently at the kwami. “Okay, Paris traffic is a little intense, but I think it might just be the Étoile that’s like this. I don’t drive, so I don’t know, but I’ve heard that if you drive on this roundabout, your insurance is invalid and if you get into an accident, regardless of if it’s your fault, liability is split fifty-fifty. My driver, Victor, always gets really stressed when we go this way, but I love it. Traffic merging onto the Étoile has the right of way, so the traffic already on the Étoile has to stop and let them in. See. There.”

Adrien pointed as a little red sportscar came onto the Étoile and oncoming traffic screeched to a stop to let it in, almost causing a pileup.

Nooroo mentally shuddered inside of the transformation. _“This is too much for my nerves.”_

“Let’s move on then,” Adrien suggested. “The crowds are starting to stare at me anyway, and I don’t want to be the cause of an accident.”

Just then, one car slammed into another.

“Too late,” Plagg sighed.

A panicked cry of “Akuma!” went out, and Adrien had to do some damage control, introducing Swallowtail to the Parisians before he could move to the next stop of their tour.

They had similar experiences along the Champs-Élysées and at the Grand Palais. Swallowtail had to pose for selfies at the Place de la Concorde and the Louvre. They skipped a walk through the Tuileries, as Adrien was still feeling a little sensitive about the blowup with Marinette that had taken place there and didn’t really feel like being reminded of that painful day while simultaneously doing PR with all the locals and tourists that were sure to be strolling in the park.

That brought them to Sainte Chapelle on the Île de la Cité. Adrien landed on the roof at the base of the spire and looked back the way they had come from.

“We’ll have to go inside Sainte Chapelle some other day. The first time I saw the stained-glass windows on the upper level, I was completely bowled over. I’ll have to show you, but we can do that detransformed,” Adrien reasoned. “I’m thinking maybe we should turn back for today. I mean, I am a little worried about my wings getting—”

All of the sudden, Adrien was surrounded in wire, yanked back by cords wrapped around his wings and torso, trapping his arms. He struggled, fighting to free his wings and fly to safety, but this only served to turn him upside-down as he was pulled backwards and secured to Sainte Chapelle’s spire.

His top hat fell to the roof as he continued to struggle, crying out in pain as the wire cut into his wings.

“Well. That was easy. It looks like Papillon’s out of practice,” a painfully familiar, melodious voice chuckled. “If you could just tell me where your object is, this can all be over.”

Footsteps sounded off the shingles of the roof, coming around from the other side of the spire, and then Adrien was face to face with the person he least wanted to see in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buggy did an amazing drawing of Swallowtail!Adrien from when he first appeared in Nachtmusik. Check it out here: https://pawsomelybuggy.tumblr.com/post/188825262264/messy-scribbles-of-swallowtail-from
> 
> Mireille also did an awesome Swallowtail!Adrien: https://mireilletan.tumblr.com/post/188916437750/swallowtail-aka-adrien-agreste-with-the
> 
> Thanks so much for sharing your talent, guys! ^o^
> 
> I think "The nascent monstrosity staring back at him vaguely resembled the unholy union of a poorly-arranged nosegay and an overenthusiastic lace doily." is one of my favourite sentences that I've ever written. It just amuses me. I hope it made you chuckle, trying to picture it. Did you have a favourite line or part of the chapter?
> 
> Honestly, the scene between Gabriel and Adrien was like getting toffee off teeth at first. -.-; Things evened out eventually, but I really had to force myself to keep chipping away at the scene to get it written. The sightseeing was much more fluid as far as writing it went.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for reading, guys. I'm unsure whether I'll have the next chapter up next Friday. If you read my whining at the beginning, you'll know that I will be spending the weekend in my office. The good news is that the project has to be done by close of business on Tuesday, so only Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday are going to be awful, and then I'll get to go home at regular time on Tuesday. I don't know if I'll feel like writing then or not. ^.^; I'll probably be semi-comatose at that point. 
> 
> I currently have three thousand six hundred and one words of the next chapter written. I'll see if I can get it done and cleaned up in time to post next Friday, 12/20/2019. It might be late. If so, I apologize. This is one hundred percent National Coordinating Counsel's fault for having unrealistic expectations.
> 
> Take care!


	35. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swallowtail and Ladybug exhaust one another and talk it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings all! This is a little later than normal but still on time. ^.^
> 
> The client rush project from hell is done. I spent pretty much all of my waking hours from Thursday to Monday working on it, and it snowed, and then I came down with a fever and chills. This week sucked. ^-^ I’m happy with how the chapter turned out, though, despite the circumstances under which much of it was written. Maybe the fever helped. XD I’ll let you be the judge.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Adrien grumbled through gritted teeth as he continued to struggle against Ladybug’s yoyo keeping him bound, upside-down, to the spire of Sainte Chapelle. He hissed in pain as the wire dug into his wings.

“Have we met before?” Ladybug frowned as she studied him. “I think I would remember you. Typically, Papillon’s supervillains are fashion rejects, but you actually look…” She smiled and chuckled as she eyed him up and down.

Adrien blinked, forgetting about the pain momentarily as he realized that, one, she didn’t recognize him, and, two, she was flirting with him…sort of. “I’m not akumatized.”

She laughed. “Oh, you’re not? What are you, then, some kind of space alien? Last time I checked, normal Parisians did not have butterfly wings.”

“I’m really not,” Adrien snorted, jaw clenching. “And my wings are actually kind of sensitive, so if you could kindly let me down, it would be much appreciated.”

Her eyes narrowed.

His face contorted in pain.

“Are you a sentimonster?”

“No!” he snapped. “I’m a Miraculous user, and I—” Adrien interrupted himself to hiss out a curse in Russian. “—am in a lot of pain right now, so if you could please—Hold on a second.” He cut himself off again as an idea occurred to him. He closed his eyes in concentration, and his wings melted back into a tailcoat in variegated shades of black and blue.

The yoyo tightened to accommodate the disappearance of the wings, leaving Adrien still tied upside down to the spire, but at least he was no longer seeing spots in his vision from the yoyo cord digging into him.

“Okay. Better,” he sighed, not bothering to hide a pout. “But could you please let me down? I’m not an enemy.”

Ladybug seemed to take all this in stride as she laughed, inspecting Adrien a little more closely. “You’re a Miraculous user?”

Her tone was incredulous.

“Nice try, but there’s only one Butterfly Miraculous to my knowledge, and it’s currently in the hands of a psychopath…unless you’re trying to tell me that _you’re_ Papillon,” she scoffed.

Adrien frowned. “Nino hasn’t come tattling to you yet, has he?”

That caught her off guard. The mildly amused expression dropped off her face to be replaced by an intent look of worry. “Wh-What?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Where exactly were you a couple hours ago when that sentimonster showed up? I mean, I know the situation was resolved in less than fifteen minutes, but usually you’re on site pretty quickly. Don’t tell me you let your guard down with Papillon being away for so long. Tsk, tsk, Milady,” Adrien pretended to chide.

Ladybug gasped, eyes going as wide as dessert plates as her mouth dropped open and she retracted her yoyo.

Adrien toppled to the roof in a graceless heap. Butterflies didn’t land on their feet like cats were said to…then again, Chat Noir didn’t typically stick the landing either, so…maybe it was just an Adrien thing.

“Ch-Chat Noir?” Ladybug sucked in a sharp breath.

Adrien retrieved his top hat, got to his feet, and dusted himself off, adjusting his costume before dipping into a bow with a flourish. “Swallowtail. I’d say ‘at your service’, but I think half a decade is long enough to throw myself at a girl and put my heart at her mercy. At this point, I’d just be embarrassing myself.”

The last shred of confidence evaporated from Ladybug’s face. “Wha-Wha… Wait. How? What? What did I miss?”

Adrien shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, affecting a nonchalant manner. “Mayura only sent her monster to lure us out. Apparently, she and Papillon are having a baby,”

Ladybug’s eyebrows narrowed, and her mouth dropped open in confusion mixed with horror and mild disgust.

“so he’s retiring,” Adrien continued. “She handed over his Miraculous to ensure that he couldn’t go back. Mayura is still out there, but it looks like Papillon is out of commission. That’s not to say that they won’t use the Peacock Miraculous in the future to cause trouble, but at least we got Nooroo back.”

“So, what? You decided to take a joyride instead of bringing the Miraculous to me so that I could get Nooroo back home safely?” she scoffed, balled fists going to her hips in frustration.

 Adrien froze, staring at her in shock. Emotionally, it felt the same as getting slapped by his mother on occasions when he’d press and press and press until he hit on a sore nerve and Émilie would finally snap, leaving Adrien stunned and hurt and wondering what he’d done wrong, knowing that he _had_ done something wrong.

“I can’t believe you,” Ladybug snorted tiredly, the irritation leaving her. “Five years later, and you’re still just as reckless as always. Why can’t you ever just _think_ , Chat Noir?” she pleaded, exasperated at her partner.

He never took anything seriously. He was always goofing off and flirting and joking and leaving her to make the plans, solve the problems. It was exhausting.

Adrien slammed down his emotional shutters, sealing the hurt off behind them. He forced himself to reply unconcernedly, aloof, apathetic. “Excuse you.” He gave his head an indignant toss. “That’s _Swallowtail_ , thank you, and Nino was in charge of talking to you and Maître Fu, but Nooroo is going to be staying with me for a while. Until he _wants_ to come back. Now, I don’t know if that will be a week or a year, but he’s on vacation until further notice.”

“Vacation?” Ladybug blinked uncomprehendingly, as if she thought she’d misheard.

Adrien nodded. “He spent nearly two centuries lost and alone, and for the past five years he’s been with a nutcase who abused him. Ladybug, Papillon barely fed Nooroo. He kept him isolated, barely let him go out…. I know what that feels like, how horrible it is to be cut off from everything…everyone,” Adrien reminded her, letting a bit of emotion slip back into his voice.

The lines that had already formed in her forehead deepened.

“Nooroo hadn’t gotten a good look at the Eiffel Tower before today,” Adrien stressed, trying to sell his point. “ _That’s_ what we’re doing out transformed, My Lady. I’m showing Nooroo how beautiful our city is…. He deserves to experience a little beauty after years of being seeped in nothing but fear and negativity. He deserves the chance to make some new, happy memories. So I’m going to take care of him until he feels ready to return to the Maître and the others.”

He was tempted to tack an “…okay?” onto the end, but he didn’t want to sound like he was asking her permission. This was something he had decided, and he _knew_ deep down that he was right, that this was something he needed to stand up for. He may have let others walk over him in his own life, but this wasn’t for himself. This was for Nooroo, and it was important.

Ladybug scrubbed at her face with a hand and sighed in frustration with herself. “I’m sorry, Cha—Swallowtail.” Shamefacedly, she looked up to meet his gaze. “I was too hasty jumping to conclusions…. I apologize.”

Adrien nodded slowly. Her apology didn’t take away the fresh hurt she’d heaped on top of the crushing pile already pushing down on him, but he could tell she was sincere, and he was too tired to be petty.

“Apology accepted.”

She smiled weakly, tentatively. “Thank you….” And then she held out her hand, palm up. “Swallowtail, I think what you’re trying to do is good and important, but Maître Fu can take care of Nooroo just as well. Please give me back the Butterfly Miraculous so that I can take him home where he’ll be safe.”

Adrien scrunched up his nose, suddenly finding himself not so tired any longer. “No. Nooroo wants to stay with me.”

Ladybug reinforced the edges of her flimsy smile, trying to keep it in place. “Swallowtail, we really need to think about what’s best for everyone.” She took a step closer.

Adrien retreated the same distance. “He’s no trouble. I’ve already got the kitchen making miniature banana cream pies for him, and my bed’s big enough for an orgy; it’s no trouble just me and two kwamis.”

“Swallowtail,” she repeated as if she were talking to one of the children she babysat. “We really can’t have multiple Miraculouses out like this unless it’s necessary. It’s too risky. I mean, there’s a reason why I never let anyone keep theirs after a battle, not even the people I trusted most. We just can’t take that chance.”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. “Speaking of people you supposedly trust, when are you going to tell Alya your identity?”

Ladybug gave a start, utterly thrown by the shift in the conversation. “What? Never! I can’t tell her! It’s bad enough that you and Nino know. It’s too dangerous, Chat N—ugh—Swallowtail!”

“But Papillon’s gone,” he argued.

She shook her head vehemently in a rather Marinette fashion. “But Mayura’s still out there. You said so yourself that they might come back. It’s too dangerous to just go around telling people our identities casually.”

“I don’t feel like telling your best friend is ‘casual’, Buginette,” he remarked dryly, irritated at her perpetual stubbornness concerning the identity issue.

“It’s one thing if she figures it out like Nino did or if we’re in some kind of highly irregular situation where I _have_ to tell her, but…” Ladybug bit her lip, pigtails swinging side to side as she shook her head yet again. “Even if Mayura wasn’t an issue, it would still be too great a risk.”

Caught by surprise, he openly scoffed. “What? What do you mean? With Papillon and Mayura gone, we’d be safe.”

“No,” she contradicted, her cerulean eyes piercing his pale blue ones. “Tikki’s talked to me about it over the years, but…well, you know what it’s like to be a celebrity. The crazy fans, the stalkers, the people who want to hurt you just because you’re famous or you have money or they’re jealous you’re so pretty or your father ruined their life somehow. Papillon and Mayura aren’t the only ones we need to be worried about, Chaton. And did you ever think that maybe these powers exist for a reason? So far we’ve been fighting against another Miraculous user, but that’s not what the Miraculouses were originally meant for. What if some other evil rises up that we need to fight? Just because Mayura and Papillon are out of the picture for now, that doesn’t mean that it’s safe. _No one_ can ever know who we are. We can’t _ever_ tell.”

His face fell, all heat suddenly sapped from his body.

“…You were never going to tell me who you were…were you?” he realized.

She looked away, staring unseeingly out at the Left Bank. “Tikki has told me about how she’s lost others before. I’m not willing to put myself and the people I love in danger like that, but I also didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that. I knew how much you were looking forward to knowing. I didn’t have the heart to tell you it could never be, but…”

“I see,” Adrien muttered. “Nice of you to spare my feelings.

“Chaton, don’t,” Ladybug sighed. “This isn’t about you. This isn’t even about me. This is bigger. This is the safety of Paris, maybe even the _world_. We’re not at liberty to just think about ourselves.”

“Is that what Tikki told you? Your kwami sounds like a stick in the mud, Princess,” he snorted, changing the cross of his arms. “It doesn’t sound like she cares about you much either. Plagg would never make me do something that would hurt me.”

“Neither would Tikki!” Ladybug retorted hastily, hackles raised in defence of her kwami. “Tikki cares about me! You don’t even know her, so don’t judge so fast. She has a lot of responsibilities that fall on her shoulders because _your_ kwami is an irresponsible slacker!”

“He is not!” Adrien riposted, fingers tightening around his biceps as the hair on the back of his neck began to stand up. “It’s not like _you_ know _him_ either, so don’t pretend like you’ve got him figured out. Do you know how hard Plagg works to keep me functional? I’m exhausting, so Plagg doesn’t have the energy to think about all this bigger picture crap like Tikki does.”

“Excuse you!” Ladybug snapped. “Tikki works just as hard as Plagg does coaxing me through meltdowns and trying to keep me from self-destructing.”

Adrien stared at Ladybug, all the anger and frustration draining from him once more, leaving only cold and sadness. “…You know, we used to get along. What happened to us? Now we’re like a couple going through divorce, arguing over who gets the roll of aluminum foil.”

Ladybug’s gaze dropped to the roof in shame. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look. I’m sorry. I’m…personal stuff. This isn’t just about you. A lot of things in my life are stressful right now, and I’m just trying to hold it all together and not fail miserably at everything and meet everyone’s expectations and not be a colossal disappointment. You may have noticed, but I’m doing a garbage job of it.”

She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Could you please work with me here and give me the Miraculous so I can take it somewhere safe?”

“It’s safe with me,” Adrien muttered, the edge gone from his voice.

She shook her head sadly. “What if it’s a trap? What if Mayura followed you back home? What if someone sees you with it? What if it gets lost or stolen again?” she enumerated, her Marinette penchant for catastrophizing kicking in. “Nooroo needs to go back to Maître Fu’s…. So…please?”

She held out her hand once more, entreatingly.

He looked at her for a long time, contemplating. Could she be right? Maybe Maître Fu was better equipped to take care of Nooroo than Adrien. Maybe Adrien was just causing problems.

He shook his head, and his tailcoat turned back to wings. “No. I’m sorry, My Lady, but I think this conversation is over.”

His wings gave a flap, lifting him a meter off the ground.

“Sorry,” he repeated. “See you around, okay?”

Before Adrien had the time to gasp, Ladybug whipped out her yoyo and lassoed him yet again.

Adrien dropped to the roof with a thud and a stifled scream as the wire bit into his wings and his shoulder collided hard with the shingles.

Ladybug winced as she realized what she had done. “I’m so sorry, Chaton!”

Adrien’s wings changed back into a tailcoat in defeat as he hissed a curse under his breath and struggled incrementally to his knees and then feet.

“Was that _really_ necessary?” he grumbled sourly.

She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Reflexes from dealing with supervillains. Are you okay?”

Adrien sighed. “I’m starting to rethink the wings. They’re kind of a large target area, and they’re really sensitive. I don’t think they’d be good in battle…. Could you let me go now?”

“Will you give me the Butterfly Miraculous, if I do?” Her tone was tentatively hopeful.

He scowled at her.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I didn’t think so. Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.” She cautiously began to approach, tightening her grip on her end of the yoyo.

Adrien gave a snort that spoke of more confidence than he actually felt. “What are you going to do? Rough me up? Man. We really have sunk low as partners, haven’t we?”

“If you would just give me the Miraculous,” she muttered sullenly.

“You sound like Papillon,” Adrien remarked tauntingly, inching away, struggling against his bindings as he retreated.

“Adrien, stop being difficult,” Ladybug groaned.

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with my father. Now you’re starting to sound like him,” Adrien laughed darkly. If he could just get his miniaturized cane sword off of his belt, maybe he could cut through her yoyo string.

In a last-ditch effort, she resorted to begging. “Chaton, please.”

“Cute nicknames aren’t going to get you anywhere, Princess,” he growled in frustration at her and the yoyo keeping his arms pinned fast to his sides. He jerked backwards, still fighting even though he got the sense that it was hopeless. “I’m not _your_ cat; you didn’t want me.”

She flinched as if his reproach had physical form.

“I don’t want to do this.” She gave the yoyo string a tug, reeling him in.

“Then don’t,” he retorted sarcastically. “No one’s making you be a tyrannical jerk.”

“You don’t get it,” she groaned. “It’s my job, my responsibility. I need to take Nooroo back to the Guardian where he’ll be safe and secure.”

“What about taken care of?” Adrien challenged. “What guarantee do you have that he won’t just put Nooroo back in the box with the others and not let him out for two, three, four hundred years? Don’t you think Nooroo deserves to experience life a little? See Paris? Lie out in the sun? Watch TV? Eat whatever he feels like whenever he feels like? Don’t you think he’s entitled to a little human kindness after so long lost and forgotten about and mistreated?”

She pursed her lips, frowning, hesitating.

He inhaled deeply and played his trump card. “I know you’re always telling me to use my head, My Lady, but this time I’m telling you to use your heart instead. What if it were Tikki? Wouldn’t you want someone to take care of her? Spoil her a little bit before shoving her back in the box?”

Her eyes squeezed shut, and she shook her head, trying to shake off his words. “The Miracle Box isn’t some prison, Adrien. Nooroo will be safe and reunited with all of his friends.”

She opened her eyes to entreat once more, “Please. Give me the Miraculous.”

“No,” he answered simply but with finality. “Nooroo’s staying with me until he decides otherwise. Maybe that will be tomorrow. Maybe that will be next week, but that’s up to Nooroo, not me, and not you.”

She sighed, and, then, before Adrien could blink, she was on him, a flurry of hands rifling through his clothing, searching for the Miraculous.

Adrien stumbled backwards, caught off guard by a flashback of amorous fans pawing at him, trying to rip off his clothes, touching him without permission, restraining him.

Panic and fear slammed into him like a billboard, and he couldn’t think.

He couldn’t hear Nooroo over their mental link trying to get him to reach out for other people’s positive thoughts and emotions to stabilize his own. He couldn’t feel Plagg digging his claws into Adrien’s shoulder in an attempt to center Adrien and bring him back into the present moment.

In the absence of feeling and hearing and thought, all Adrien could do was obey his instincts, and his instincts were telling him to flee.

In his scramble to get away, he lost his footing. He didn’t realize that he’d been backed up against the edge of the roof, so he stepped back into empty air and nearly took Ladybug with him over the side of Sainte Chapelle.

Ladybug screamed, clutching at the yoyo string keeping her partner from plummeting, clutching at the side of the roof keeping her from tumbling after him. It only took a split second for her to regain her wits and begin to pull the both of them back up safely onto the roof.

Meanwhile, Plagg was buzzing around Adrien’s head, trying to get a response out of his chosen. “Kid!” he screamed. “Adrien! Adrien, just breathe, okay?” he attempted to coax.

“Is he okay?” Ladybug demanded in a pinched, strangled voice as she breathed heavily, trying to come down from the exertion and adrenaline.

“Of course he’s not okay!” Plagg snapped even as he restrained himself from clawing her face off. “Can’t you tell when someone’s having a panic attack?! Back off! Stop touching him!”

Ladybug jerked back as Plagg returned his attention to Adrien who still looked shell-shocked.

“Adrien, can you name three things you see?” Plagg coached, trying to pull Adrien back into the here and now.

Adrien shook his head, dazed.

“Well, at least he’s responding now,” Plagg grumbled, flying up to pet Adrien’s hair. “How about two things you hear?”

Adrien continued to shake his head. “You…my…” He swallowed hard. “…my h-heart.”

“Good!” Plagg praised. “Very good! How about one thing you can feel?”

“Gloves,” Adrien answered a little more quickly, gaze coming into focus.

“Three things you can see?” Plagg prompted.

Adrien nodded. “You. Sky. Rooftop.”

“Good,” Plagg soothed, giving Adrien’s head a pat. “…Okay?”

Adrien nodded again, slowly lowering himself to lie on his back on the roof. “Okay,” he mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes. “…I can move again,” he observed.

“Yeah. She let you go once she pulled you back up onto the roof,” Plagg explained, perching on Adrien’s chest where he could simultaneously watch over his chosen and glare threateningly at Ladybug.

“Okay.” Adrien let out a tired sigh. He felt limp and boneless, like a lump of clay waiting to be shaped, unable to get up on his own. “Just…give me a minute.”

“Sure, Kid,” Plagg reassured. “Just breathe.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Ladybug ventured tentatively back into the conversation. “I didn’t know. I…I mean, he’s a model; he gets manhandled all the time. How was I supposed to know he’d freak out? I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay,” Adrien mumbled, trying to reassure her.

“It most certainly is not!” Plagg hissed. “She pushed you off a building!”

“I think I did that myself,” Adrien chuckled weakly.

“Are you okay?” Ladybug timidly inquired, voice soft as she inched closer, coming up beside him.

He did a quick mental scan, taking stock of his condition: heart fluttering, breathing irregular, thoughts a whirl, energy sapped.

“I will be,” he assured. “The attacks are just a little draining.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding. “I get really tired after mine.”

He nodded, arm still thrown over his eyes. “…I…was kidnapped a couple times.”

Ladybug gasped, halting in her slow advance up towards his head.

“When I was little, attempts were more common. There’s a reason I have a bodyguard,” he explained. “When I was older…I mean you talked about the perils of being famous before. Some fans just want to rip off a piece of a shirt as a souvenir, but others…some people are convinced that they’ve been chosen by God to have my children or that aliens have been sending them messages about how they’re meant to be with me, and—”

“—Kid, breathe,” Plagg reminded as Adrien’s words began to trip over one another, tumbling out in a breathless stream.

Adrien inhaled slowly before continuing in a quiet, anxious tone, “It’s not your fault you didn’t know because I’m really handsy with people I’m comfortable with, so I probably gave you the wrong idea about where my boundaries are as far as people touching me, but…” He took another deep breath. “The truth is, I get a little freaked out when people just grab me and try to pull my clothes off because I’ve been assaulted before.”

Ladybug began to gasp again, but no sound passed her lips, her vocal chords seizing up in shock and horror.

Adrien immediately backpedaled. “I mean, that’s what it’s called, right? When people you don’t want touching you try to kiss you and get your clothes off and-and touch you in inappropriate places and—but it’s not a big deal. They’ve never actually gotten my clothes off, so I guess it’s only attempted assault. And I guess it doesn’t count anyway because I’m a guy, but—”

“—It _counts_ , Adrien,” she growled in a way that told him the matter wasn’t up for debate.

Adrien slowly pulled back his arm and tentatively peered up at her as she hovered over him, her face bereft, pained, and yet fierce…angry.

She looked like she was prepared to go out and burn down Paris for him, hunt down those who had hurt him and make them pay. She looked like she wanted to make sure no one would ever hurt him again.

“Oh,” he breathed, losing his train of thought.

How was it possible that she didn’t love him? He could see the depth of her feelings for him in her eyes.

He was afraid to use Nooroo’s abilities to scan her and check. He was afraid of not finding love after all. He was a mess. Maybe he was just imagining the look in her eye. Maybe he was projecting how he felt onto her.

She tentatively reached out a hand, pausing centimeters away from his hair. “May I?”

He nodded, not quite sure what he was agreeing to.

Her fingers gently began to trace slow patterns against his scalp.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he melted into the moment with her, letting all that stood between them go.

His head ended up in her lap at some point, both of her hands working their magic, turning his brain to mush. His body went pliant, and he began to purr as he nuzzled her thigh.

She laughed, and her giggle was musical. “You can still do that even when you’re not transformed?”

“When I’m happy,” he replied lethargically, the majority of his mind offline. “When I feel safe.”

Ladybug’s heart lurched, but her fingers kept moving. She was surprised that she could still make him feel happy and safe enough to purr after everything they’d been through recently.

“Oh, Minou,” she cooed warmly. “My Minou…”

Time slipped away from them, but, eventually, fingers came to a stop, and Adrien’s eyes slipped open.

“How are you feeling?” Ladybug inquired softly.

Adrien sighed, sitting up and giving a stretch as he came back to himself and the reality that was the roof of Sainte Chapelle.

“I’m…good,” he decided. “Thank you.” He smiled at her sheepishly. “Sorry about going all cat.”

She shook her head, a serene smile on her own face. “I like cats. I’ve never been able to have one because of the bakery, but I’ve always found petting them to be relaxing.”

“Well,” he chuckled impishly. “If ever you want to pet a cat, I humbly but wholeheartedly offer you my services.”

She rolled her eyes, giving his nose a poke like old times. She’d done it automatically, and only after her finger was already on his nose did she stop to think that maybe things had changed between them and she shouldn’t be doing things like that anymore.

But he was laughing and smiling at her. He looked happy and carefree, just like her beloved partner Chat. It was as if nothing were wrong between them.

She decided to go with it, to let things be normal. She’d been craving normalcy for months.

“Are you busy right now?” he asked, still chuckling.

She shook her head. “No. Why?”

“Wanna ‘patrol’, as Alya calls it?” He snickered at the term Alya had invented on her blog for when she spotted Ladybug and Chat Noir out and about when there wasn’t an akuma.

Ladybug cracked up. “What? You mean chase each other over the rooftops or have an impromptu picnic or go hang out on the Eiffel Tower?”

His laughter harmonized with hers as he grinned wickedly. “‘Patrol’ sounds so much more responsible and heroic than ‘play tag’. Let’s use Alya’s word.”

Adrien’s wings unfolded as he smirked and booped her on the nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

He took off as she blinked after him for a moment.

“Hey!” she called to his retreating back. “No fair! You can fly!”

He just laughed, looking over his shoulder to see her dashing across the roofs after him, making up the distance with the help of her yoyo.

“You’re just jealous that you didn’t think of adding wings to your costume!” he shouted back at her.

This only fueled her competitive streak. She caught him in less than thirty seconds, and then he was off after her, heading onto the Left Bank, past their school and the bakery and into the Latin Quarter.

Back and forth their game went, past the Panthéon, through the Jardin du Luxembourg, onto the roof of Saint-Sulpice, and back up towards the Seine near the Musée d’Orsay. They looped down, landing on the roof of the Hôtel des Invalides, its golden dome shimmering in the evening sun.

Adrien grabbed Ladybug, catching her around the waist, exclaiming, “Got ya!” as she giggled her head off.

The laughter eventually tapered off as time passed and Adrien didn’t release her. She turned in his hold to meet his gaze and study his face, hoping to discern his intentions.

Adrien’s arms settled around her, his hands alighting on her hips even as hers found his chest.

Their faces were less than half a meter away as they both breathed hard from the chase.

He stared into her eyes as she returned the favour. There was longing and want in her half-lidded, inviting gaze.

A fetching pink colour dusted her cheeks, and he could feel his own skin matching her rosy hue.

His body ached for her. His heart ached for her.

She stepped in closer, her thighs brushing his, her hand going to his cheek. She stared at him in wonder, watching the delicate, blue butterfly wings airbrushed at the corners of his eyes turn purple as he blushed.

Wordlessly, they mutually agreed to lean in.

He would have kissed her if not for the timely intervention of a stray thought: the week before at the graduation party, her telling him that she didn’t love him.

This thought was accompanied by others. That day in the Tuileries came back to him, her disappointment, her rejection. Pain. All the pain he had felt over the past two months…the past five years. The betrayal, the hurt, the ache, the insecurities, the feeling of not being good enough, of being unwanted.

She didn’t love him. She didn’t want him.

He pulled back with a gasp. “S-Sorry.”

Her eyelids fluttered in a daze as she tried to piece together what had happened. She was flush against Adrien, in his arms, about to kiss him, and then…

Then he was a meter away, looking frightened, moving back, going to sit at the base of the golden dome, looking out blankly at the Grand Palais to the north across the Seine.

“It’s…okay,” she replied jerkily, still trying to regain her bearings. Hesitantly, she went to sit next to him, casting him tentative glances. “…Are you okay?”

He shook his head and muttered, “That shouldn’t have happened,” by way of explanation.

She had no words to offer in response. What was the good of arguing that they had clearly both wanted it to happen…up until the point where he suddenly didn’t anymore? There was no point in asking if she’d done something wrong. She knew the answer. She’d been doing everything wrong for years and years: rejecting Chat, idolizing Adrien, running away from him because she was scared and overwhelmed and unsure of how to help him…sure that she couldn’t help, sure that she would only make it worse.

“…Are you okay?” she repeated gently.

He shook his head again. “How’s your boyfriend doing?”

Ladybug winced.

How was it that merely being in Adrien’s presence was enough to wash Luka from her mind?

“He’s…” She grimaced. “Wonderful. Too wonderful. Too good for me.”

Adrien chuckled, smiling gently as he gave her a soft look. “I don’t know if anyone is actually good enough for Luka Couffaine, but of this I’m certain: you two fit one another. I don’t know if anyone is actually good enough for _you_ either.”

She let out a bark of laughter that sounded more like a scoff. “ _You_ are biased and wrong.” She let her shoulder bump his.

He clicked his tongue and returned her nudge. “I am biased and _right_. You are two of the most wonderful people I know…. You deserve to be happy together.”

He left out the “even if that means misery for me” part.

Ladybug shook her head, blowing out a long sigh. “[I told him about the mess with you on Sunday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609582/chapters/51308188)…more or less…what I _could_ tell. I’d told him when he asked me out that I’d be emotionally cheating on him, but I don’t think he really got it. He gets it now…and I’m surprised he didn’t break up with me. Part of me wishes he had. _That’s_ what I feel like I deserve.”

Adrien snorted. “He’d never break up with you. He’s been in love with you since the day you two met. Even though he’s dated other people, he’s never stopped loving you. You’ve always been number one in his heart.”

Ladybug hummed thoughtfully, unconvinced.

“Princess, this is the guy you’re going to marry,” he laughed sadly, sounding so sure of himself. “Seriously. I give you a month to get over whatever residual guilt and confusion you’re still dealing with because of me, and then you’ll only have eyes for him just like he only has eyes for you.”

She smiled half-heartedly, setting her hand down next to his on the lip at the base of the dome of the Hôtel des Invalides. “I’m partially amused by the fact that you’re an idealistic romantic about my love life in general, not just my love life as it concerns you.”

A hint of a frown curled between his brows. “What do you mean?”

She reached out to pat his arm before setting her hand down by his once more. “Just…the things you said about the two of us being picked by destiny for each other, and now Luka and I are a perfect fit, made for one another. Love at first sight…being his one true love who he couldn’t forget even when he was with other people… I’m really sorry, Chaton, but life isn’t actually like that.”

He turned away, looking back out towards the Grand Palais.

“I’m not saying this to be mean or hurt you, but this isn’t like the fairytales your mom used to read you. This isn’t like all the plays she was in.” She tried to break it to him gently, but she didn’t seem to be succeeding. “Real life doesn’t follow fairytale rules.”

Adrien bit his lip and tried to ignore her. He needed her to be wrong. He needed to believe in good being rewarded and evil being punished and happily ever after and someday my prince will come. If none of that were real, what guarantee did he have that he’d eventually work his way out of his current situation and one day find happiness?

“I wouldn’t set your hopes on being in my wedding to Luka,” she cautioned. “He’s going to realize that he can do better, that I’m not the only person he can love.”

Adrien snorted, giving his eyes a roll.

“I’m serious,” she insisted. “He told me that two years ago there was someone he was absolutely gone on…that it felt like his heart had been dead after her…until me…. He would have married her. I could tell…so don’t marry me off to Luka yet.” Tentatively, her hand found his, resting on top of it and giving it a squeeze.

Adrien blinked at her owlishly. “Two years ago?”

Ladybug blinked back, confused as to why Adrien was fixating on this particular detail.

He frowned, looking back out towards the Seine, doing some mental math. He knew that the last person Luka had mentioned being in love with was a girl named Babette, but that relationship had ended because Luka couldn’t stop thinking of Marinette. That had been a few months before Luka and Adrien had become close in March, and Luka hadn’t dated anyone during the time that he and Adrien were friends. It must have been after Gabriel abruptly ended Adrien’s visits to the Liberty in mid-August.

Ladybug’s brows furrowed, causing the top of her mask to scrunch up in concern. “Are you all right?”

Adrien blinked again, coming back into the present.

“Where’d you go?” Ladybug wondered.

Adrien shook his head.

“…You know…you don’t sound mad or resentful,” she observed, threading her fingers through his.

“I _am_ mad and resentful,” he sighed, not looking at her. “I’m also exhausted and resigned. …Something about the stages of grief not being linear.”

“But…you’re not mad at Luka, are you?” she hesitantly pressed.

“No,” he affirmed. “Luka didn’t do anything wrong. I’m jealous of him and envious, but…I mean, what is there to be mad about? The better man won.” He shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. “What’s the point of getting angry at him because I wasn’t good enough?”

She opened her mouth to tell him that that wasn’t true, but he steamrolled over her.

“No, I’m mad at myself and at you and at Nino.”

Ladybug winced, feeling very small. “That’s…I mean, not good, per se, but…good for Luka. He was worried that you might hate him now.”

Adrien’s head whipped around to stare in confusion at her. “What? No. I mean…I would think that he hated me now that he knows about how I’m mixed up with his girlfriend.” Adrien grimaced, and he pulled his top hat down over his face as he realized, “God, how could he even be friends with me? He’s known this whole time, hasn’t he, that Adrien was the guy you liked who was keeping you from being with him?”

“Why the third person?” she had to wonder. “Why ‘Adrien’ instead of ‘I’? You make yourself sound like a different person.”

Adrien averted his eyes. “Because you liked Adrien Agreste, not…not _me_.”

“Oh, Beau Gosse,” she sighed, using her nickname for Adrien. “I was never wowed by Adrien Agreste. It wasn’t your money or your looks or your father’s empire. It wasn’t _Adrien Agreste_. It was your dorky laughter and your vulnerability. Your earnestness. I like the nerdy boy who gets enthused talking about Doctor Who and slice of life anime. I like the sheltered boy who didn’t know not to put metal in a microwave. I like the sensitive guy who still cries like a baby during dog movies. I don’t like Adrien Agreste.”

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I like _you_ , Adrien.”

Almost afraid to hope, Adrien tipped his head to look at her from under the brim of his hat. “But…you said you don’t love me.”

Ladybug shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t think I do.”

It took much effort for him not to crumble. “Oh…. Okay…. I mean, so long as we’re on the same page.”

“Adrien, I know next to nothing about love,” she explained, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice, “but if I truly loved you, would I have flaked on you like I did? People in love stand by one another through tough times, don’t they? Isn’t that how you know it’s real? You overcome the hard times together? Isn’t love supposed to endure or something?” She looked at him for answers.

He gazed back, only questions of his own in his icy blue eyes.

“Your love for me is enduring all this, isn’t it? All the pain and the mess and the disappointment?” she challenged. “I’m hurting you—I _have_ hurt you—and yet you still love me, don’t you?”

He nodded.

She shook her head. “Well, my feelings for you didn’t weather the storm.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled slightly, and his lips pressed into a thin, tight line, silently begging for her to elaborate, to help him understand.

A pained smile wound across her lips. “When you were dating all those girls…the way you treated Elise when you two were dating…”

He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she placed her far hand on his lips to silence him.

“I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. You were just following advice from someone you trusted. I’m sorry I give such crappy relationship advice. It turns out that I have no idea what I’m talking about.”

He gave a little snort of agreement.

“I’m sorry, Adrien. Even though it was partially my fault, even though I didn’t have any claim on you or your affections…it still really hurt me.” She tightened her grip on his hand.

He pulled away only to take her hand in his and squeeze back.

“You hurt me…bad,” she whispered. “I know it’s stupid and that I shouldn’t feel this way, but…but I _do_. This is how I feel. It felt like a betrayal seeing you kiss all those other girls without a thought, like it was no big deal. Just…the fact that you could do that…”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “But we don’t need to keep going over the same ground again and again. I was hurt that you didn’t pick Marinette first. I was hurt that you weren’t the man I thought you were. I understand that it wasn’t completely your fault and that I should have said something…about my feelings, about what I thought about how you were acting… I know you’ve been lost this year. I’ve been lost too, so…”

She trailed off, gripping his hand and chewing thoughtfully at her bottom lip.

“…So…now what?” he whispered, still sounding lost.

“I…’m not sure,” she confessed. “We rebuild?”

“What does that mean?” he wondered, wanting to do whatever she said, wanting to make it work. “Concretely?”

She looked at him and then down at their joined hands. “I guess…you work on you, and I’ll work on me, and…we’ll see.”

“Oh.” He nodded, wishing she had a more detailed plan. Ladybug plans were often convoluted, and he never really knew exactly what he was doing or why he was doing it, but _she_ had always known, step by step, what to do. Now, she didn’t sound sure, and that made him uneasy.

“…I miss you,” she whispered. “I miss _us_ …. Chinese food and anime and making cupcakes and throwing flour at one another and cuddling on the couch and sharing parts of our meals and watching obscure films…I miss all of the things that made us _us_.”

“I don’t think we can _be_ us right now,” he replied sadly, voice tired and full of longing. Then, more softly he added, “I don’t know if we can be that us again…. We broke that us.”

“So…we have to build a new us…just like we built the old us—only better this time,” she hastened to clarify. “We’ll build a healthier us.”

Adrien gently untangled his hand from hers, bringing it in to cover his face as he sighed. “I think I finally get what ‘space’ means. I think I understand what you meant when you said you needed time and space after-after the initial blowup. I think _I_ need some time and some space.”

Her hand went to his hair, fingers gently rubbing at his scalp. “Shh. It’s okay,” she assured. “I’m sorry. I get it. It’s okay.”

He lowered his hands from his face and turned to look at her pleadingly. “Marinette,” he whispered as if the very word was precious.

It sent pleasant chills down her spine.

“I am hopelessly in love with you,” he sighed, stressing, “ _Still_. After everything. And I don’t think I’m ever going to fall out of love with you. If I try to be some kind of us with you right now, it’s not going to go well. It’s not going to be any different than last time. Who I am right now, this version of me, can’t do any better. I can’t do ‘just friends’. I _can’t_ be your friend, Marinette.”

She nodded, not liking his answer but understanding where he was coming from. “Okay,” she agreed softly, giving his head a pat before retracting her hand. “That’s fair. I mean, I get it. I really messed us up, and I get that you need a bit to figure things out. Just…” She looked up and caught his gaze, arresting it with her own. “My mistake was taking too much time. I kept pushing you away even after I should have just bit the bullet and womaned up and started to fix things. I know it’s selfish for me to say this, but…I miss you, so don’t take too long figuring things out, okay?”

He sighed, leaning in to drop a kiss onto her forehead. He stood, took a few steps, and turned to face her, his tailcoat morphing back into dazzling blue and black wings. “Don’t blame yourself, Milady. Don’t blame _just_ yourself. I came into this relationship messed up, and I didn’t do anything to help matters. I’m at fault too. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be friends with you, Marinette, but I know for a fact that I won’t be able to stay away from you for long, regardless of my feelings. I’ll see you soon, Meinu,” he assured. “Take care of yourself and be happy, okay?”

She nodded, getting to her feet and taking a few reflexive steps towards him. “You too, Beau Gosse.”

He turned to go, and she bit her lip.

“Hey.”

He looked back, folding his wings so that he could see her. He arched an eyebrow.

“I’ll-I’ll have a word with Maître Fu about Nooroo staying with you,” she informed. “I’d still rather he be safe in the Miracle Box, but I get it. I really do get it. I _would_ want someone to take care of Tikki. It _is_ important, what you’re doing. My heart does agree with you, even though my head says it’s dangerous. I’ll tell Maître Fu to leave you guys the hell alone, okay?” She smiled nervously, a peace offering.

He returned the grin with interest, smiling brilliantly back at her, his whole face lighting up, the butterfly wings painting his cheeks shimmering in response.

“Thank you,” he stressed, gratitude coating each syllable. “Thank you, My Lady. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

Her smile gained strength as she shrugged. “I think I have some idea. Just…did Nooroo mention anything about Papillon’s identity or location or-or anything we could use?”

Adrien shook his head slowly. “I don’t plan on asking. I don’t…” He bit his lip. “This whole thing has been traumatic for him. I know you’ll probably disagree, but as long as Papillon and Mayura stay gone, isn’t that good enough? I know they should be punished for all the people they hurt, but…can’t we just leave them alone? Let them have their baby and move on with our lives? Let Nooroo move on?”

Ladybug bit her lip. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to finish this for good. She wanted closure for the city. She wanted people to be able to sleep at night without fearing a return of Papillon, the next sentimonster attack to destroy their homes, snuff out their lives. She wanted all the loose ends tied up, but…

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was not a comic book hero. Loose ends didn’t always get tied up in real life. This wasn’t ideal, but…she wasn’t about to start another argument with her partner over it.

She sighed and let it go. “Okay. All right. If he does ever say something we could use to unmask Papillon, I would appreciate it if you’d let me know, but…okay. For now…let’s move on.”

Adrien let go of a breath he hadn’t intentionally been holding. His smile regained its luminosity. “Okay. Thanks, Ladybug. I’ll see you around.”

“See you around, Swallowtail.” Her smile reached even her eyes as she waved him off.

With a flap of his wings, he was airborne and headed home.

The Agreste Mansion wasn’t far from the Hôtel des Invalides. He made it in minutes, wings turning back into a tailcoat to fit through the window as he dropped back into his room.

Plagg came out of his hiding spot in Adrien’s left shoulder and hovered silently, waiting for Adrien to make the first move.

Adrien shuffled over to his bed, flopping facedown as he released the transformation.

Nooroo appeared, landing on the bedspread in a flutter of wings. “Adrien-bocchama?” he called tentatively.

“You guys can help yourself to the cheese and mini banana cream pies in the fridge,” Adrien mumbled into the duvet. “I’m going to lie here for a bit, okay?”

“You okay, Kid?” Plagg inquired softly, landing next to Nooroo.

Adrien made an uncertain noise. “I just…” He sniffled. “Sorry. Overwhelmed. It’s a lot.”

“Of course,” Nooroo assured, coming to pet Adrien’s hair, having surmised that his new master found the gesture comforting.

“Do I need to go get Gabe or Nathalie?” Plagg checked, coming up to lick Adrien’s cheek.

“No. I’m okay. Just…just a little messed up from seeing her. Could you text them I’m home and resting?”

“Sure,” Plagg easily agreed, fetching the phone out of Adrien’s pocket and drawing in the code to unlock it.

“Ask them to leave me alone for the evening, please,” Adrien requested as the tears started to come faster and harder. “I’m fine. I just…I just need a minute…or a couple hours. Today was a lot.”

“Sure, Kid,” Plagg confirmed, letting Adrien have what he needed. “…You did good today.”

“Magnificent!” Nooroo corroborated, nodding enthusiastically.

Adrien choked out a laugh through tears. “Th-Thanks, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, if you’re curious about the discussion Marinette and Luka had about the situation with Adrien on Sunday (the day after the graduation party), you can find that in Chapter Nine of Jabberwocky here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609582/chapters/51308188
> 
> So, did you have a favourite line? I kind of liked the part about Adrien’s laugh harmonizing with Marinette’s. When I was editing, that line made me chuckle because I thought, “Well, somebody’s channeling Luka”. It struck me as a very Luka thing to say, and that amused me.
> 
> Any part you didn’t like? Did you enjoy the moments of fluff amidst the tension and yearning? Was there a good enough balance considering where Marinette and Adrien are in their relationship? It was nice for me to be able to write a softer scene between the two of them. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> CHRONOLOGY: Next, we’re going to be moving the story into Jabberwocky Chapter Ten. Those of you reading Jabberwocky, that chapter will be up next Friday, 12/27/2019. We’ll be doing a couple chapters of Adrien and Luka’s reunion part two and their trip to the opera. Then we’ll be bouncing back to Daisy for Bridgette and Félix’s visit.
> 
> That being said, the next Daisy chapter should be up at the end of January 2020. Maybe 01/24/2020? I honestly don’t know how many Jabberwocky chapters the reunion part two and the opera trip are going to take, so we’re playing this by ear. Thanks for bearing with me.
> 
> Thank you for reading, everyone! Have a wonderful Hanukkah, a lovely Christmas, a happy Boxing Day, and a safe New Year’s. (And a terrific whatever else you may or may not be celebrating.) I’ll see you in 2020!


	36. Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien takes steps to begin fixing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Happy New Year! I know I'm back with a new chapter sooner than I said. I was debating whether to publish this as part of Daisy. It's the first third of Jabberwocky Chapter Eleven, but I was thinking that this might be relevant to a later chapter, so...I don't know. It's just a scene between Adrien and his bodyguard and then Adrien, Plagg, and Nooroo. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> ATTENTION: If you're reading Jabberwocky as well, please just go read Jabberwocky Chapter Eleven. This is exactly the same content as the first third of Jabberwocky Eleven. Jabberwocky Eleven is a lot longer and contains the actual reunion with Luka as well, so just go read that version. ^.^

His driver Victor scowled. “You want me to take you _where_ , Adrianka?”

Adrien’s Russian really wasn’t the best, so it _was_ conceivable that he had just said something unintelligible. He took a deep breath and slowly repeated, “To the Couffaines’ house? Uh…the family that lives on the boat?”

The cavernous trenches of Victor’s forehead seemed to deepen, if that were truly possible. “Couffaine? That’s that—” A word in Russian that Adrien didn’t know, but it sounded angry and guttural and was mostly likely not a nice thing to be called. “—who made you cry for half a year,” Victor accused.

Adrien winced, switching back to French. “To be fair, Luka wasn’t the one who made me cry. That was my father when he threatened to ruin my friend and his entire family’s lives and careers and make Luka hate me unless I ceased all communication with him. It wasn’t Luka’s fault.”

Victor did not acknowledge Adrien’s clarification. Instead, his meat cleaver-sized hands went to his hips, and he tipped his head to the side with a suspicious frown. “Isn’t he dating little Masha from the bakery now?”

Adrien tried to smile disarmingly as he nodded, but it came out as more of a wounded grimace. “Yes. Yes, Luka and Marinette are dating.”

“And what business do you have going to see the young man dating the girl you like?”

“I was planning on seeing if he wanted to be friends again now that my father is less strict,” Adrien explained feebly.

Victor continued on in Russian. “Your father? Does your father know where you are going?”

“I told him,” Adrien fibbed, switching back to Russian so that if he were found out later, he could blame his inaccuracy on a “misunderstanding” caused by his poor language skills.

Victor leaned forward, bending at the waist to position himself eye to eye with Adrien. He arched an eyebrow. “Oh? You told him where you were going? So, if I go ask him now, he will tell me he has approved your trip to visit the Couffaine boy who broke your heart?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Adrien insisted, banking on the fact that Victor would never actually go interrupt Gabriel’s work to follow up on Adrien’s lie. “Except Luka didn’t break my heart,” he clarified as an afterthought.

Victor snorted. “You are trying to tell me that you were not heartbroken two years ago?”

A sulky expression leaked through Adrien’s composed mask. “Okay, but that wasn’t Luka’s fault. That was my father’s for ripping me away from a friend who was really important to me.”

Victor nodded in a manner that indicated that he couldn’t care less whose fault it was. “Yes, yes.”

Suddenly a sausage-sized finger was being wagged in Adrien’s face. “Adrianka, I love you dearly, but—” An idiom that Adrien surmised meant something like “so help me God”. “—if I have to listen to you banging on that piano at all hours and sobbing into your pillow when you think no one can hear again…” he trailed off dangerously, crossing his arms over his chest.

Adrien flinched, shrinking as the tips of his ears turned pink.

Victor’s voice softened as he sighed and laid a giant palm on Adrien’s shoulder. “I am sick of Chopin,” he confessed gently. “I am even more sick of listening to you in pain, knowing there is nothing I can do to fix it for you. Do not put yourself in situations where you will be hurt, Adrianka.”

Adrien’s apprehension melted at the warmth and affection in his bodyguard’s words. With a bright smile, he threw his arms as far around Victor’s torso as they would reach, wrapping his steadfast companion in what would have been a crushing hug on anyone else.

“Thanks, Vitya,” he mumbled into Victor’s chest.

Victor sighed again, patting Adrien on the back. “Yes, yes. All right. Yes. Enough with the mushiness. It is nothing. I am simply tired of Chopin. I wish never to hear that brooding man’s melancholy coming from your piano ever again.”

Adrien pulled back and repeated, “Thank you…for caring about me.”

Victor rolled his eyes, affecting indifference and professional stoicism as he patted Adrien on the head. “This is not what I am paid for. This is not in my job description.”

Adrien snickered, amused at the fuss Victor was making all for show. “That’s why it means so much to me that you _do_ care.”

Victor rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “…I am going to ask your father about you seeing this Couffaine boy,” he snorted and then actually turned and took a step towards the atelier.

Adrien’s heart dropped into his stomach. “W-Wait!”

Victor looked back at Adrien, cocking an eyebrow and smirking knowingly. “Why, Adrianka? Surely your father will confirm what you’ve told me, and then we can be on our way. What is the problem?”

Adrien grimaced.

Victor took another step and a half towards the atelier.

“Okay, fine,” Adrien sighed heavily. “You called my bluff. I just said I was meeting a friend; I didn’t say it was Luka, but in my own defence, I am legally an adult, and you guys can’t stop me from going where I want. So there,” Adrien concluded, petulantly crossing his arms in defiance.

Victor stifled a chuckle. “I look at you, and I still see that tiny, blonde, doll-like baby who I used to carry around on my shoulders. Perhaps you’ve grown too big for that now, but you will never grow so much that I stop seeing you as a child in need of my protection and mother-henning. You can be an adult when I’m dead. Until then, you’ll be hard pressed to stop me from throwing you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carting you off to someplace I determine you will be safe.—What does your photographer always say? ‘Capiche’?—Do we understand each other, Adrian Gavrillovich?”

Adrien’s face fell even further, and his arms dropped helplessly to his sides. He nodded dejectedly. “Yes, Vitya…but…I’m going anyway. I mean, I’ll go even if I have to sneak out, but…in case this all blows up in my face and I have a panic attack or emotional breakdown or something…I would really rather you drive me…please?” He peered up pleadingly at his bodyguard with the most pathetic, sad puppy-dog eyes he had in his arsenal.

Victor sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with a massive hand. “…Adrianka, this is not a good idea. Why do you want to do this so soon after you’ve had your heart broken?”

Adrien bit his lip and switched back to French to make certain that he expressed himself clearly. “I think repairing things with Luka will help.”

Victor crossed his arms, but he tipped his head slightly and cocked an eyebrow to show that he was listening.

Adrien took a measured breath and continued, “When I was hanging out with him and his family before, I felt…like I belonged…like I was okay how I was, even though I had a lot of issues. Luka still liked me on my bad days. It didn’t matter if I was crying over a fight with Dad or if I was an anxious wreck over an upcoming fencing tournament or piano recital. Whatever I was feeling was fine. Whenever I was in good spirits, we’d hang out and have fun, but whenever I was a mess, he’d sit with me and let me cry, comfort me, help me to talk it out. …I think I could really use a friend like that in my life right now. Everyone else has been great,” Adrien rushed to assure, “but Luka always seemed to get me…and it couldn’t hurt to have another friend, could it?”

Victor pursed his lips, weighing Adrien’s arguments. “What if he’s changed? What if he’s not the boy you knew anymore?”

Adrien frowned, caught off guard momentarily. “He…It didn’t seem like he’d changed much the other night when I saw him at Chloé’s party. And he texted me yesterday to apologize for the misunderstanding and make sure I was okay. I’m sure he’s not exactly the same, but I can’t imagine Luka changing all that drastically in just two years.”

Victor shook his head slowly. “Adrianka, perhaps under normal circumstances it would be good for you to rekindle your friendship with the Couffaine boy now that your father is easing up on restrictions, but I do not see this going well, you trying to befriend the boy that the girl you like chose over you. This ends poorly.”

“I think you’re wrong,” Adrien gently insisted. “I think being friends with Marinette’s boyfriend could be a good thing.”

Victor gave Adrien a look that said that he thought Adrien was delusional, but Victor did not verbally respond, letting Adrien continue.

Adrien let out a soft, frustrated sigh and forged forward. “Look, ever since things first blew up with Marinette, my friend group has been divided. Alya has been trying to split her time between us, but the reality is that she’s _Marinette’s_ best friend, so she feels like she has to be on Marinette’s ‘side’, so I’ve hardly seen Alya in two months. I don’t want there to be ‘sides’. I don’t want to cause a rift. I don’t want to not be invited to things because Luka and Marinette are going to be there. Sunday was Marinette’s graduation party, and she didn’t invite me. She didn’t even tell me about it because—I don’t know—maybe it was because Luka was going to be there and she wasn’t ready to tell me they were dating. Maybe it was because she still needed space or whatever, but the point is that I was excluded because of the mess between me and Marinette.” His voice dipped low, cracking.

His gaze dropped to the floor. “That’s not a good feeling. I don’t know how many other graduation parties I wasn’t invited to because of this, but I don’t want to be left out any more than I already am. If I’m friends with Luka, if everybody can see that things are okay, that there doesn’t have to be an Adrien side and a Marinette side, maybe things can slowly go back to normal. Maybe being friends with Luka will help me be friends with Marinette again too. I just…” Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Victor’s gaze imploringly. “More than anything, I want some kind of normal again.”

Victor nodded slowly, resignedly, a look of deep compassion in his eyes. “I don’t know that this is the way to go about it, but…I’m not about to let you go alone to find out the hard way that this is a bad idea. I wouldn’t want you getting upset and falling off a roof on your way back. I don’t trust that suit of yours to protect you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as he realized that _of course_ Victor knew. The man had only spent the better part of nearly every day of the past decade within shouting distance of Adrien. Victor would have been a poor bodyguard if he hadn’t picked up on his charge’s secret.

“Go wait around front, Adrianka,” Victor instructed, giving Adrien a gentle pat on the head. “I’ll bring the car around, but if this goes badly and your father asks why I took you, I’m going to—” An idiomatic expression that Adrien did not understand but surmised from context to mean something like “throw you under the bus”. “—and tell him you swore up and down that you had his express permission to go.”

“I think I can live with that,” Adrien snickered and started to make his way out front to wait.

 

“Forgive me,” Nooroo’s disembodied voice whispered from inside Adrien’s right shoulder as they waited for Victor to bring the car. “but yesterday I thought that you told Ladybug that you did not wish to be her friend any longer and needed some space and some time.”

Adrien blinked, frowning down in confusion at the offending shoulder as he fiddled with his ring and readjusted his tie. “Yeah? What about it?” he whispered back gently.

“Just now, you told your guard that you wanted to rekindle your friendship with Monsieur Couffaine so that it would facilitate rebuilding your friendship with Miss Dupain-Cheng. I am just a little confused about this development. Do we wish to be friends with Miss Dupain-Cheng now?”

A florid blush burst forth on Adrien’s cheeks, and he looked away, mumbling, “No. Not right now, no.”

“He just knows he’s going to change his mind,” Plagg snickered helpfully from within Adrien’s left shoulder.

“I’m allowed to change my mind if I want,” Adrien grumbled sullenly. “Human beings often say one thing and then turn around and do another. It’s not that I _have_ changed my mind…just that I _can_.”

“Of course you can,” Plagg agreed more gently, easing up on his chosen.

“Of course, Adrien-bocchama,” Nooroo echoed.

Adrien took a deep breath, trying to re-center himself. “For right now, though, I’d kind of like to focus on the task at hand. I’m not one hundred percent certain what’s going to happen with Luka, and I’d like to concentrate on him before I really start thinking about the dizzying prospect of being just friends with the girl I am madly in love with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Adrien's bodyguard. He's such a sweetie. I've decided that the reason he doesn't speak is because he's originally from Russia. He understands French perfectly well (and has even picked up some Chinese from Adrien's lessons), but he's not confident in his speaking abilities. Particularly in front of Gabriel who is not known for patience or understanding. So Victor doesn't speak much. (I'm sure those of you who also speak multiple languages can relate. It's like, "Yes, I understood everything you just said, but when I try to reply, I can't remember how to conjugate 'run', and I can't think of the word for 'blender' at the moment.") Victor has, however, taught Adrien some Russian, so that's how they typically communicate. A lot of the time Adrien doesn't know words or phrases, so he ends up speaking Frussian.
> 
> So, you probably figured this out, but Adrianka and Vitya are diminutive forms of Adrien (Adrian) and Victor. They're terms of endearment. Like nicknames or similar to putting a -chan suffix on the end of a name in Japanese. This kind of threw me at first when I started reading Russian literature because, like in Japanese, there are a lot of different ways to refer to one individual depending upon who is speaking and what their relationship is to the person. "Masha" is the diminutive form of "Marie" (Marinette), by the way.
> 
> Also, when Victor calls Adrien "Adrian Gavrillovich", that's also a Russian thing. "Adrian" is obviously the Russian version of "Adrien". "Gavrillovich" means "son of Gabriel". If Adrien were a girl, it would be "Gavrillovna". Russian names go First Name, Patronymic (name derived from father's name), Last Name. So that's what that's all about. Have we enjoyed our crash course in Russian naming practices? ^.^; #I learned this from reading Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. If you're interested in reading more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Slavic_naming_customs .
> 
> Chronology: So, Jabberwocky Chapter Ten took place before this, and this is an alternate version of Jabberwocky Chapter Eleven. I think there are going to be three or four Jabberwocky chapters between now and the next Daisy chapter, so I think the next Daisy update will be around the beginning of February.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading everyone! I hope to see you soon!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Karaoke Bar: Chapter 21.5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460023) by [TransientPokemonMaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransientPokemonMaster/pseuds/TransientPokemonMaster)




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